Constrictor Scripture

God's not dead; he's in my basement. (She/Her, Age: 31, Minors Do Not Interact, NSFW) Banner image by @blacksalander.

[evelegy]

This may sound gross but I've always dreamed of someone taking me on a date to a restaurant (usually in the fantasy its Famous on Fourth for some reason), and then during the meal they say they have to use the restroom. They look me in the eyes expectedly and with intent until I stand up and go to the bathroom with them. There, they use my mouth like a urinal. I gulp it all down my throat straight from the spout like I'm dying of thirst. I stick out my tongue showing I swallowed like a good girl before they give me a smack. Then we leave the bathroom and go back to resume our meal like nothing happened.

[evelegy]

It's National Bison Month, trans friends. Put aside the Deer Girls and take out your favorite Bison Boy, grab him by the horns, and eat his sweet pink buffalo burger.

[felinepipebomb]

how it looks to me when Christians put up rainbow flags outside their church and start trying to get me to let them speak at trans rights actions. if u kno u kno

[evelegy]

If I fucked your wife, I'd end up keeping her.

[evelegy]

I have new lewd nudes in the reblog of this post. Check there cause tumblr hates trans bodies.

[dinosaureleanor]

[pipebimbomb]

Anyone want soapy shower pics? Well too bad ur getting them anyway

[pipebimbomb]

tip me

[evelegy]

As part of my goal towards being less dysmorphic about my feet, I will be pawposting on main.

[pipebimbomb]

date night fit:)

[evelegy]

I got a new rave dress but got no one to rave with...

[evelegy]

Nothing hits quite like the celebrity your ex is a fan of liking the subtweet you wrote about how big of a jerk that ex was. Mmm... Imma touch myself to that one.

[felinepipebomb]

This bigot is hilarious bc these comments were on a dead post I made in literally 2021 about how gross the ‘transandrophobia’ ppl are and how as a trans man I’ve seen tons of toxic homophobic & misogynist shit from other trans men & as a visibly gnc trans man don’t feel comfortable in all-male trans spaces because of it. These ppl r all ‘listen to trans male experiences!!!’ until a trans man goes against their MRA bullshit and then they wanna ignore it

[felinepipebomb]

A second bigot has hit the towers, this one telling me that my experiences of homophobic harassment (which include incredibly traumatizing medical discrimination by a heterosexual trans man, by the way) are an Exception, not something that Normal Trans Men experience. What makes something a Normal Trans Man experience, dipshit? What makes my experiences as a trans man less valid than yours? Is it bc I said I feel more comfortable in mixed-gender trans spaces, around trans women who actually respect my gender and don’t constantly make judgmental and homophobic remarks towards me? Is it bc i think feminism is actually important? Is it bc i choose not to participate in self-serving patriarchal bullshit to prove my gender identity? Hm?

[evelegy]

I really don't like how...

cw/tw: suicide, suicidal thoughts/ideation, cptsd

I really don't like how talk of suicide has been so, I don't know, stigmatized? In the year 2025, it seems like the world wants you to never mention that you're struggling. Everyone these days is so concerned about mental health, but paradoxically, people's own self-destructive thoughts can be weaponized against them. While it certainly can be used in this way, telling someone you are having thoughts of killing yourself is not always a manipulation tactic, and the proliferation of this idea just makes me afraid to ever discuss my dark thoughts to anybody. And that's only stage one of the fear.

Stage two of the fear is that if you talk about these things with someone you get the 'don't you dare speak about that, if you're [actually] going to kill yourself I'm calling 911". Like... idk this seems like a dramatic escalation of the scenario and is only going to increase my panic and sense of vulnerability. Like, if I am already having these thoughts is calling an ambulance to institutionalize me and ruin me financially and put my job at risk really going to make me feel better about my scenario? I do understand that hospitalization is necessary for a lot of cases... but I really wish there was some sort of middle ground where its like 'hey I'm having these really self-destructive thoughts and idk how to process them' wasn't an immediate code red 'lock them up' kind of thing.

Like yeah, therapy is an obvious step but I can't always get in touch with my therapist. I get 45 minutes every two weeks, and this clinic won't even respect me enough to give me a referral for breast augmentation surgery, so I have the struggle of trying to find a new therapist on top of all this other shit.

I guess the third stage of fear isn't a stigma related one. I'm afraid that expressing my thoughts of suicide to someone else, be it a friend, family member, or partner, is that I feel guilty about it. It feels selfish to talk about, like, by saying that I have these thoughts, then I am suggesting to them that they do not do enough. That this is somehow their fault. It isn't. I know they love me, I know that I am loved. It has nothing to do with the person I am talking to or confiding in. It's just that sometimes pre-existing pain or internalized harm is just far too great to overcome. Emotional pain is real pain. It lingers, it hampers you, and other people often just cannot fix that. I don't want them to think it is their responsibility to. You can't un-burn a piece of paper.

[evelegy]

Somebody please choke me until I pass out...

This past week my Tumblr got flagged and is now hidden because I'm trans. I'm really not happy about that. The lawyers at the work place came by and told me that I was no longer allowed to give a presentation on the importance of inclusion and combating bias in leadership positions because of federal orders and because I'm trans. I'm really not happy about that. The girl I've been seeing for three weeks had an insane crash out and demanded that I express intimacy with no one else but her and berated me on the phone for hours. I'm really not happy about that. I went to a trans dance party last night and ended up third wheeling my friends and sat in a booth for an hour all by myself failing to talk to anyone. I'm really not happy about that. Got asked to go to Pride today but the line was too long at the bar to go in, so we wandered for an hour and then I got over stimmed in a Taco Bell. I was unable to socialize with my group because five of them were strangers to me and I get afraid. I'm really not happy about that. Just like, brain chaos nonstop all the time and everything is so so loud and I just want it all to stop.

[evelegy]

HAPPY PRIDE EVE!!! 💜💜💜

[evelegy]

welcome to my dog bed did you bring the cigarettes

[pipebimbomb]

ok let’s eat:)

full photoset available for just 5$ (or dm if ur a friend)

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