her

she was everything he loved to destroy

[evelynnnnicole]

[evelynnnnicole]

isn't it weird how when i didn't have a voice

you heard me

but

now that i'm screaming

at the top of my lungs

you don't seem to know

that i even exist

is that how it works?

you make me feel loved

and bring me out of

my hole of darkness

only so you can have the satisfaction

in telling people

that you saved me

well now you left me

drowning one hundred miles deeper

than i was before i met you.

-evelyn

[evelynnnnicole]

they say: "you are what you eat" and since most of the time i eat nothing, i guess that makes sense.

-evelyn

[evelynnnnicole]

i want you

to show me

all your open wounds

so i can suck

the poison out of them

because your poison is my antidote.

-evelyn

[evelynnnnicole]

i try so hard to pick up all my broken pieces and hold them in my skinny arms but maybe i'm not strong enough to hold them from all the years of anorexia. maybe they just keep falling out of my arms because there's not much supporting them other than skin and bones. or maybe as i try to clutch them close to my body they just fall right back to the floor through the whole in my chest. or maybe there's too many pieces. maybe i'm so torn apart that i'm not even whole anymore. or maybe i'm just ripping myself apart even more as i'm trying to pick myself up off the floor. but maybe i deserve to be there shaking, cold, alone, and broken. maybe it's just instinct to collapse to the floor. i guess i'm just so used to not being able to hold myself together that it's normal for me to let myself seep out over the tile in my bathroom.

-evelyn