If I'm lucky, I'm writing

Call me Evening or May | She/her | Adult | AroAce | Disabled | Writing, drawing, singing

[roman-cates]

Roman doesn't look at either of them as he speaks.

"After you left home, things… ah… I don't think it's right to say they got worse, because I think there were just… less people for mom to take her anger out on…" A pause. "No, they did get worse when you left. Mom… I don't think she ever really believed that I didn't know where you had gone… She was particularly angry that I wouldn't tell her where you were— especially for the first few months and then… I think again, right before I turned 18."

Roman's voice is shaking, but only bit. Bryce isn't sure if that's impressive or worrying. "She, uh, started locking a lot more things. All the windows got locks on them after you left."

Bryce puts effort into keeping his face calm, attentive. Archer isn't looking Roman or Bryce, avoiding their eyes like he's feeling guilty, feeling the weight his decisions had on the person he was supposed to protect. Well, good, Bryce doesn't stop himself from thinking. He pulls back from the thought. Roman loves Archer, so he needs to try, at least.

"I wasn't ever planning to run off without saying anything, but… I think she thought I was at one point. Eventually, she started locking my door from the outside so I couldn't disappear overnight."

The statement is said so matter-of-factly that Bryce isn't prepared. His face does something for a moment before he gets it under control. Fuck, he's glad he never actually locked Roman in the extra bedroom. How the hell… He focuses on Roman again with effort.

"I learned how to pick the locks on the windows and the cabinets myself after you left, since you weren't there to open them for us anymore."

Oh… It wasn't a skill he picked up at Avery's, then. Bryce feels sick.

"I uh… I ended up staying with mom and dad until I was 20. I-I could have left sooner, but…" He clears his throat. "After I finally did leave, I cut off contact with them and everyone else from our town. None of them were really my friends, and they all still had ties to mom and dad, and… I just didn't want to deal with that anymore. I got an apartment, and for a couple of months, it was good."

And then it wasn't. Bryce braces himself for the next part. He doesn't think Roman will go into detail, but it still burns to hear about Avery. I wasn't here. I couldn't have saved at the start. It's true, as far as it goes, but it happened in Boss's territory. She gets high and mighty about protecting her people, and keeping the area relatively low in violent crimes that she's not a part of. And Avery got away with all this right under her nose, until they happened to kill the wrong person.

"I… met this person who told me their name was J, while I was living by myself and trying to make friends." Roman's hands are shaking now, and Bryce grips the table, determined not to reach out first, not while Archer is watching. "W-we… we just kind of clicked really well at first, I guess, and I didn't really think it was weird when they invited me over to their house."

Bryce swallows, knowing what's coming. He's about to reach out, Archer be damned, when Roman pulls his hands away and drops them to his lap. Out of sight.

"Except, I didn't end up leaving their house again. Not for a long, long time."

Archer is pale. Only an idiot wouldn't see where this was going.

"They… th-they made tea, and we watched a movie or something, I think, but… ah… they put something in mine. I-I fell asleep in the middle of whatever it was we were doing, and when I woke up, I was in their basement, chained to a w-wall. I-I kept… k-kept telling myself that I couldn't have po-possibly been down there for that long— th-that, because there were no windows or cl-clocks, my mind was p-playing tricks on me and stretching out the time…"

Bryce isn't paying attention to Archer anymore. He can't, not while Roman is in this much emotional distress.

Roman shakes his head. "Th-they did a lot of things, while I was stuck down there… U-used a lot of di-different drugs to fuck with my head… As… as time passed, they got less careful… I don't know how long it was or how long I was still down there after, but… they left a needle where I could reach it one day and then, not too long after that, a flathead screwdriver… I-I picked the lock for the chain that was keeping me there and tri-tried to get out, but… i-it didn't… didn't go very well… I didn't know they were home still, at the time… Um… They dr-dragged me back down to the basement… and they broke my leg so I cou-couldn't try to run again…"

Oh, that's why… The broken leg has always been hard to square with Avery's insistence that they don't leave 'lasting physical damage'. Roman's phrasing echoes in Bryce's head, maximum pain and minimal lasting physical damage. He focuses on Roman again, not willing to miss any detail that Roman hasn't shared with him before.

The most Roman said about this incident before was a mention that he 'picked the cuff on my leg in Avery's basement once' when they were discussing lock-picking. Bryce isn't sure if sharing this with Archer is a moment of truth between brothers, or if Roman is just looking to explain the cast. If Roman is more comfortable with his real brother after five minutes of interaction than he has been with— No. He's going to do his best not to feel jealousy, not to resent a person Roman loves.

Really.

"E-everything just kind of… continued like it had been so far for… for I don't know how much longer, but… they pissed somebody off. Bryce and… a-another person… they showed up at the house while J was out one day, and Bryce got me out of the basement and took me with him."

That's… That's not untrue. And Bryce knows he shouldn't, knows that Archer might read it as a warning to stop— Hell, Roman might read it as a warning to stop — but he doesn't stop himself from reaching for Roman's shoulder, wanting to offer something, anything.

In response, Roman turns to look at Bryce, a question in his eyes.

This is the tricky part. How much can they tell Archer? Bryce doesn't even know how to thread that needle, it's unfair to expect Roman to.

"Do you want take a breath and keep going, or do you want me to take over?" His voice is gentle, non-pressing although he's sure he knows the answer already.

"Do you want take a breath and keep going, or do you want me to take over?" Bryce asks gently.

Roman nods. He's not sure how much he should say about the current situation— and he feels like he might start crying as it is. He doesn't want to do that— especially not in front of Archer.

"Yeah... yeah will you..?" He tries to chase the remainder of the tremble out of his voice, but it seems all too determined to stick around.

[roman-cates]

And Roman goes pale, which is, again, the opposite of what Bryce intended. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Then Archer speaks, and Roman turns away from Bryce, seemingly drawn to his brother like a moth to light.

"Protect me? From what? He's my little brother. He doesn't have to protect me."

You certainly weren't protecting him, is the thought that Bryce barely stops himself from voicing. He takes a deep breath. Was he ever that naive? Not since he was a teenager, and probably not even then.

"Can we sit down, please? And then we can talk about what happened." He's trying and failing to project a calm he is so so far from feeling.

Archer seems to re-evaluate, looking at Roman, then Bryce, then Roman again. "Yeah, okay. Let's sit down."

Roman trails along and sets himself up at the table Archer chooses. Bryce lays his hands on the table, palms up. He searches Roman's face, unsure about what he's about to do. Roman's still pale. Still upset, and trying hard not to show it.

"Roman," and it still takes work to sound normal, not sick with worry when he says his adoptive brother's name, "Do you want to tell Archer what happened?"

Roman takes a breath. Bryce leans back, determined to give him his time. From the corner of his eye he notices Archer is also watching Roman, looking about how Bryce feels.

"Can we sit down, please? And then we can talk about what happened."

Oh god, what does Bryce mean by that? Does Roman want to tell Archer any of what happened? Would not telling him even make a difference when his brother is so clearly suspicious of what's going on? Roman knows him better than to think he's going to let it go or move on— there's no good way out of this mess— no easy way.

Archer looks from Bryce, to Roman, to Bryce, and back again as he seems to consider this proposition before agreeing. "Yeah, okay. Let's sit down."

Roman keeps his anxiety and vague panic clear from his face as they all move over to a table for a conversation he's sure he isn't ready to have. Bryce puts both hands open on the table, looking at Roman like he expects to find something in his face.

It's not fair how much of this seems to be on top of him. On him to explain, on him to convince his brother he's okay. It's on him to show Bryce what he's okay with being said, and he has to say something— do something to get out of here, out of this conversation and this situation as a whole. They can't just leave— if Roman thought that might fix the problem, he would just go. It won't fix anything, though. Archer isn't going to give up without an answer and leaving would probably just push him to go looking for one.

"Roman," Bryce starts, and he sounds worried. Roman doesn't know what to do to make that worry go away, but he feels like it's on him, too. "Do you want to tell Archer what happened?"

Roman takes a slow breath through his nose to try to make space for the anxiety buzzing in his chest. It does little to help.

Does he want to tell Archer what happened?

Yes. And no. He wants to tell Archer— he wants to talk to his brother again and tell him the truth instead of trying to come up with the right lie so he can disappear again. He doesn't want Archer to be involved in any way.

But... Archer is already involved now. He knows Roman is in the area. He knows Roman has been hurt and badly. He knows that Roman is trying to protect him from something, and Archer isn't the type to accept that and let Roman do what he feels needs to be done for Archer's own safety.

If Roman doesn't tell Archer something, then Archer is just going to go looking on his own. He can see it in his brother's eyes. Clearly, a lie isn't going to cut it, either. Roman didn't think that the explanation he gave was that bad, even if it was unsatisfactory. He doesn't understand why Archer didn't believe it for a second.

As much as he doesn't want Archer involved, he already is, really. And the best way to keep him out of it— to protect him— is to make him understand to some real degree why he needs to stay away.

Roman gives a shaky exhale, lowering his head for a moment and squeezing his eyes shut before opening them and looking back up at Bryce. "... Yeah... Yeah, I... I don't think there's really any other option."

[roman-cates]

"Roman, are you—" He's not hiding his panic, not at all, but Roman doesn't respond. Instead, the other man stands up from— Was he hugging Roman? — And interrupts.

"Who the hell are you?"

Bryce stops and stares. The man is young, tall, fit (with the kind of muscles that come from deliberately working out, not from hard work) and something about his face rings in Bryce's head. The plastic name tag pinned to his shirt brings everything into sharp focus: Archer is etched in white on black and fuck.

He looks so much like Roman.

He should answer. He needs to know how Roman is taking this. He needs to know if Roman wants Bryce to step back, if he wants Bryce to take him away, if he wants Bryce to go away, if he even has any idea how he's feeling. If Roman is even here, right now, after everything today and then this—

Bryce holds up both hands in the universal gesture showing he's unarmed, coming in peace.

"I'm Bryce," he says, voice steadier than it was a moment ago. "I was worried." Come on, kid, give me a sign.

Bryce stops, putting his hands up. Does he know what's going on? "I'm Bryce," he says, voice much calmer than when he came in. "I was worried."

Oh god everything is happening too fast. Why is it even happening in the first place? Roman has to say something, even if he doesn't know what it's about to be.

"Bryce, this is... this is my brother, Archer." Roman says, forcing himself to just say anything. But... it seems Bryce already figured that out. Already knew it..? "Archer this is Bryce. I— he— I'm living... with him right now." His voice shakes a little bit as he tries to grapple his thoughts into cooperation.

How is he even supposed to begin to explain a situation that doesn't make Archer suspicious? More concerned than he already is?

Archer looks at Roman like he has two heads. "Why? Who is he?"

Well. No better lie than the one that already exists, right? Even if there is, Roman can't think of one right now.

"I'm working for him. On a farm," Roman says, voice stabilizing, finally. Now that he at least knows what lie he's using. "Well— I mean obviously not really at the moment." He glances at the wheelchair.

Archer's eyes narrow. "Alright, how'd you end up in a wheelchair and a cast?"

"There was an accident with some equipment not long after I started."

Roman's heart beats harder in his chest for some reason as Archer just stares at him for a minute.

"... Why are you lying to me?"

And Roman's heart falls into his stomach again. "What? I am not! There was an accident with the equipment when I started and I'm in recovery right now. Why would I lie about that?"

"I don't know," Archer says, glancing from Roman, to Bryce, and back again, voice slow. "I don't know why you're lying about that and that's what scares me." He looks back at Bryce again. "How did you meet my brother?"

[roman-cates]

"I'm… fine." Bryce isn't sure that's true, but he's doing better than Bryce expected, so, maybe. But then Roman continues, "Yeah, I guess they were just concerned I was being abused. Asked me if I feel safe at home and all that. Nothing outside of what they usually ask."

"What they… usually ask?" And shit, he shouldn't have said that out loud, but… What they usually ask?

"What they… usually ask?"

Ah... Roman realizes he probably shouldn't have said that— didn't need to have said that. Too late to take it back, now, though.

"Mm... yeah." Roman pulls away a little and looks out the window. "Ah, when I was growing up, they always used to ask me and Archer at our yearly checkups and stuff." Should he say more..? Explain further? He doesn't really want to, though, so he stops.

[bryce-stryerson]

@eveningecho -- I love love LOVE reading your reactions and tags and thoughts and theories. I know @itsleelove does too.

In response to these particular tags, I will say the following two things. 1) Boss is complex woman who has some interesting history with Bryce, which I will try to actually get out this summer (along with the high school Bryce bit) and 2) 😈😁

[itsleelove]

@eveningecho every time I post, I'm stalking my notifications to see if you have an opinion because I always want to see what you have to say XD

And yeah... Roman's home life was bad— worse than he's talked about— and he doesn't really want to think about it. Once he does, he's going to have to face the fact that he's changed enough from that time that he's starting to really see how bad it was. He likes lying to himself that everything wasn't so bad.

[eveningecho]

I love commenting on it too! It's just been such a joy to read, and every time there's a new post, I get so excited.

@bryce-stryerson I can't wait to read both of those! But also I can, take your time and take care of yourself first, always! I am very curious and it'll make my day when I get to read them. Both boss and high school times are so fascinating :D

re: point 2: 👀😱

@itsleelove I feel like I'm getting the same journey he is, then. Like, oh it wasn't good but it wasn't terrible right? And then I find out, oh no, it was pretty terrible. And dealing with that self-discovery in this situation is... the word that's coming to mind is "zesty."

<3

[roman-cates]

Liars, One and All

Previous

"He's gone."

Roman flinched as the door to his room slammed open. He hadn't gotten much sleep, but he had been trying. A quick glance at the clock told him his mother had only just gotten up. Six in the morning... He sat up. "Who?"

"You stupid obstinate child!"

Roman ducked as his mother threw something that hit the wall with a hard thump.

"Where did he go? When did he leave?"

"Mom, please, I don't know what you're talking about—" Roman pleaded, keeping his voice small in vain hope that she too might stop shouting.

"Don't act like you don't know exactly what's going on you fucking liar!" She shouted, voice shrill. "Where did your brother go??"

Roman stepped back expression falling in shock. "Archer's... gone..?" He didn't have to fake the tears that began to well up a moment later. Archer was gone. And nothing was going to change that...

At this, his mother's expression crumbled as well. Her fists unclenched and she fell to her knees in exaggerated sobs.

Roman sniffled.

"Please..." she blubbered, hiding her face in her hands. Roman wondered vaguely how fake her expression looked behind it... or if even an ounce of the devastation she was showing was real... "Please... don't lie to me anymore... I know you know where he went— he tells you everything..."

Well that was about as far from the truth as a person could get...

"Please... I just need to know where my son is— if he's okay— if he's safe—!"

Like Archer was the only son she ever had...

"Mom..." Roman crossed the room with some hesitation to kneel down next to her and place a hand on her back. "Mom, I really don't know where he went. He's... he's really gone..?"

His mother didn't answer beyond another pathetic-sounding sob.

Did she believe him yet..? That he really didn't know where Archer went..? Had he convinced her that he didn't know he had left..? He could only hope as much...

[roman-cates]

"I'm… fine." Bryce isn't sure that's true, but he's doing better than Bryce expected, so, maybe. But then Roman continues, "Yeah, I guess they were just concerned I was being abused. Asked me if I feel safe at home and all that. Nothing outside of what they usually ask."

"What they… usually ask?" And shit, he shouldn't have said that out loud, but… What they usually ask?

"What they… usually ask?"

Ah... Roman realizes he probably shouldn't have said that— didn't need to have said that. Too late to take it back, now, though.

"Mm... yeah." Roman pulls away a little and looks out the window. "Ah, when I was growing up, they always used to ask me and Archer at our yearly checkups and stuff." Should he say more..? Explain further? He doesn't really want to, though, so he stops.

[roman-cates]

"I'm… fine." Bryce isn't sure that's true, but he's doing better than Bryce expected, so, maybe. But then Roman continues, "Yeah, I guess they were just concerned I was being abused. Asked me if I feel safe at home and all that. Nothing outside of what they usually ask."

"What they… usually ask?" And shit, he shouldn't have said that out loud, but… What they usually ask?

"What they… usually ask?"

Ah... Roman realizes he probably shouldn't have said that— didn't need to have said that. Too late to take it back, now, though.

"Mm... yeah." Roman pulls away a little and looks out the window. "Ah, when I was growing up, they always used to ask me and Archer at our yearly checkups and stuff." Should he say more..? Explain further? He doesn't really want to, though, so he stops.

[roman-cates]

The nurse stands in the doorway and watches with what seems like annoyance as Bryce and Roman make their slow way across the small waiting room. She opens the door for Roman to go through, and gives Bryce what he can't quite think of as a glare.

"Patients only," she tells him. "We'll be back when we're done."

"Patients only," the nurse in the doorway says to Bryce with a sharp look. "We'll be back when we're done."

"Why can't he come with me?" Roman asks, anxiety creeping into his voice as he speaks on something of a half-panicked reflex before he can think to make himself pause calmly.

"Radiation. Only the patient and tech are allowed in the imaging room," she says, and her voice sounds a little softer, he thinks, than when she told Bryce he couldn't follow.

"When I've had imaging done in the past, he came with me," Roman argues, a little bit confused. It occurs to him suddenly that, between potentially concerning behavior that may have been seen while they were in the waiting room, to the nurse stopping Bryce at the door, to the seemingly gentler tone that the nurse is using with him over the one she used a moment ago with Bryce, part of their reasoning might not be the radiation at all. They might be concerned for his safety, which... is fair... but not necessary or helpful.

"Look, if you want to ask me questions without him there, I'd rather you not, but you can after or before the x-rays. I hate hospitals, though, and you're going to have to deal with a panic attack and probably me backing out if he's not able to come with me." Roman turns to Bryce, then, fairly certain it's not an issue, but not wanting to assume either. "You... don't have to come with me if you're concerned about radiation, though. I-I... If you are, I'll... try," and fail, "to do it... a-alone."

[roman-cates]

They sit down in the far corner of the waiting room, facing away from the front desk. There's no one around, but Bryce shifts in his seat anyway, concerned about onlookers.

"I… don't know how I'm 'supposed' to answer these," Roman says, trying to pass the clipboard off.

"Okay," Bryce breathes, more a whisper of wind than a sound. He slips Roman the cards in exchange for the clipboard.

Bryce takes the clipboard from Roman, holding it an awkward angle to let Roman see what he's writing. Current date is already scrawled out in a handwriting he doesn't recognize: 9-10-23. Patient name, likewise, Reagan Stryerson. Bryce fills in birthday, the same as Roman's real one: 2-18-01. There's a section for notes on the injury, which is information they should have, but Bryce fills when the ankle injury occurred (only 7-29, because he has no idea how long the leg had been broken before that.) and date of surgery (8-28).

He pauses, pen hovering above the paper, as the starkness of the dates finally hits him. He let Roman suffer with a make-shift cast for a month. One whole fucking month.

And he tells the kid he loves him. Fuck, who the hell is he kidding?

Roman accepts the insurance card and ID, looking over the ID to make sure he actually pays attention to the information on it this time. The birthday is...

It's his real birthday.

Did he know that..? He had to have known that... Even if he didn't try to commit the information on the card to memory— which he hadn't— he still would have noticed the birthday was his own.

He stares at the card for several long moments, trying to drag back the memory he knows has to be there.

He can't.

He can't remember seeing it before, even though he knows he did. It doesn't make sense that he didn't.

[bryce-stryerson]

From @eveningecho's tags:

#seeing the dates like that is interesting too. it's okay bryce it was a very eventful month. very distracting haha

It was! And in absolutely no world will Bryce ever let that excuse himself, at least not in the privacy of his own head.

#many other problems in there#and not knowing when the original injury took place is aaaaah so sad because there's no way to find out D:#like roman *might* be able to vaguely estimate but that's it#and as he's recalling here#his memory is not very reliable. (relatable T.T)

😁

#i'm not sure whether he would have looked at the date before but i'm guessing not#probably too distracted by the name iirc#but it's devastating either way#the hits keep coming from new and exciting directions#more problems from absolutely everywhere. perfection#sitting here with the tension of “will someone notice something's not right?”

Nothing to say, just wanted to note this...

#and then the established issue of roman's memory#and bryce's insecurity about how well he's doing by roman

Just to note that I love the way this came up, kinda organically in this scene, I think for both @itsleelove and I.

#which feed each other a bit because arguably (and I mean that seriously. bryce is trying is absolute best and I love and support him)#but *arguably* bryce should have made sure that roman knew this information. that he knew reagan's birthday is roman's birthday.

I adore Bryce. And it is not arguable at all, to me. This was absolutely Bryce's responsibility, and he's SEEN lies / cover stories go off the rails, he is 100% in the wrong here for not sitting down with Roman and going over everything about the fake identity in detail.

#and if bryce knows what's going through roman's head he'd probably blame himself for that too

Hmm... There are parts that he would. He is aware, on a factual level, that the side-effects of Avery's drugs are not his own fault.

Everything else, though, yep. He would.

#but roman may or may not have held on to that information even if he did#which is terrifying. not being able to trust your memory is scary#uuuuuuuugh aaaaaaaagh I love

I love reading your reactions. Thank you so much!

[eveningecho]

From a sibling of mine again haha. We can't stop singing this song from Scrubs about them.

[eveningecho]

I remember this moment in Pathologic 2 all the time.

[roman-cates]

They sit down in the far corner of the waiting room, facing away from the front desk. There's no one around, but Bryce shifts in his seat anyway, concerned about onlookers.

"I… don't know how I'm 'supposed' to answer these," Roman says, trying to pass the clipboard off.

"Okay," Bryce breathes, more a whisper of wind than a sound. He slips Roman the cards in exchange for the clipboard.

Bryce takes the clipboard from Roman, holding it an awkward angle to let Roman see what he's writing. Current date is already scrawled out in a handwriting he doesn't recognize: 9-10-23. Patient name, likewise, Reagan Stryerson. Bryce fills in birthday, the same as Roman's real one: 2-18-01. There's a section for notes on the injury, which is information they should have, but Bryce fills when the ankle injury occurred (only 7-29, because he has no idea how long the leg had been broken before that.) and date of surgery (8-28).

He pauses, pen hovering above the paper, as the starkness of the dates finally hits him. He let Roman suffer with a make-shift cast for a month. One whole fucking month.

And he tells the kid he loves him. Fuck, who the hell is he kidding?

Roman accepts the insurance card and ID, looking over the ID to make sure he actually pays attention to the information on it this time. The birthday is...

It's his real birthday.

Did he know that..? He had to have known that... Even if he didn't try to commit the information on the card to memory— which he hadn't— he still would have noticed the birthday was his own.

He stares at the card for several long moments, trying to drag back the memory he knows has to be there.

He can't.

He can't remember seeing it before, even though he knows he did. It doesn't make sense that he didn't.

[lelif]

on survival

-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits

[roman-cates]

"It doesn't bother me," Roman says, but he's looking away from Bryce.

I love you, Bryce wants to say, but he doesn't want to pressure Roman. He releases the gearshift and brushes Roman's arm instead.

They're both silent for a bit. Finally, Bryce ventures, "Music?"

Roman nods, and Bryce presses play. The CD that's in the player is one of Roman's, of course, and Roman seems to relax slightly as the music fills the truck's cabin. Bryce has heard this CD enough that he finds himself humming quietly along.

They've heard more than half of the CD by the time Bryce turns into the hospital parking lot.

They're both silent for a bit. Finally, Bryce ventures, "Music?"

Roman nods and finds himself smiling a little as he listens to Bryce humming along. As they turn into the parking lot, though, his smile fades, stomach turning just a bit. He reminds himself that this is going to be fine. It's just x-rays.

It's just x-rays.

Roman unbuckles his seat belt while Bryce comes around the truck to help him back into the wheelchair.

Once they're inside, Roman sticks very close to Bryce, glancing up to see his face more frequently than he means to. He's seen Bryce intimidate and, occasionally, he thinks, pay people off at most places they've been together. This looks pretty above board this time, but he can't stop wondering if he's going to see that happen again.

[roman-cates]

Family Matters

"You're... leaving."

Archer didn't even look up as he finished packing his backpack. "Course I am. I'm eighteen in like, ten minutes." Briefly, he glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

Roman shifted in the doorway, uneasy. "Where are you going?"

"Away. Somewhere mom won't look for me— or at least somewhere she won't be able to find me."

"Take me with you."

That got him to look up. Archer turned to face his younger brother, who stood in the doorway of his room. "... I can't do that."

He looked exhausted, Roman thought. Dark circles under his eyes... the light all but gone out of them years ago... Did he look like that, too? He hoped he didn't... hoped he never would... "Why can't you?"

Archer Stared at Roman for a moment, seemingly in hesitation before turning back to his bag, folding clothes as small as he could and fitting them into the bag like tetris blocks around books and school supplies. "You're just a kid. If I take you with me, it won't just be mom looking for me— I'll be wanted for kidnapping you."

"But I want to go!"

"Shh!" Archer jumped at the volume of Roman's voice, still quiet, but too loud. For a moment, they both froze, listening down the hall to see what the mistake would cost them.

Eventually, they both let out a breath.

"It doesn't matter if you want to go or not," Archer continued. "You're only 15. Legally, it's kidnapping."

"But I don't want to be here without you. She's gonna be so angry..."

"Don't understand why she even cares..." Archer grumbled. "It's not like she loves me. Should be happy she has one less kid to feed and one less person in the house to annoy her..." He shook his head. "It'll be fine. She'll be mad, but she'll get over it in a few days. Just try to keep your head down until she realizes she doesn't actually care that I'm gone..."

"You know it's not that easy."

Zipping his bag, Archer pulled it up from the bed and slung it over his shoulder, stepping to the window. "You've always been better than me at smoothing things over. It'll be fine. Really, it will."

"Can't you at least tell me where you're going?" Roman asked quickly, stepping fully into the room as his brother slid the window open. "So i can find you again when I'm old enough to leave too?"

Archer hesitated for a moment, looking back at Roman as if trying to make a judgement... Finally he shook his head. "I'll find you. When you leave them, I'll find you again."

And with that, Archer went out the window. Roman didn't dare yell out to his brother as the older boy sprinted across the lawn and down the sidewalk towards where a car idled in the dark. He slid the window closed instead and locked it, watching through the glass as Archer got in the passenger side of the vehicle and the car drove off, leaving Roman behind...

[roman-cates]

Bryce enjoys the quiet, for probably far too long. After a few minutes, Roman's expression changes, souring for just an instant before going blank. Or maybe Bryce imagines it, his own thoughts circling around the upcoming hospital visit.

After another minute or so, he sighs, and plunges in.

"We should leave in the next hour." He tries to meet Roman's eyes and lowers his voice. "And… I need to know what you need from me." If I need to force you. If you want me to force you. "How— How much you want me to…" He trails off, not sure how to put it into words.

"We should leave in the next hour." Roman glances up at Bryce as he lowers his voice. "And… I need to know what you need from me. How— How much you want me to…" He trails off, and Roman feels a little tinge of guilt that Bryce even has to ask this question at all...

Roman takes a deep breath, attempting to chase down his anxiety and the guilt that he knows he probably doesn't need to feel... "I think... If they're just doing x-rays, I think I'll be okay and you won't have to force me. If... if I'm not, though..." Roman hesitates. "If I'm not, then I'm... I'm sorry and I hate having to ask it from you, but..."

[roman-cates]

Kyle gives a genuine smile, if not perhaps as heartfelt as Bryce's.

"Glad I could help," he replies easily. He takes a step back and begins to set out the food on the table.

Bryce's smile brightens, if that's possible. He tamps it down, and takes the few steps to get plates and silverware.

Bryce's smile is so genuine that it helps Roman forget about what happened with the not-cops and the fact that he'll probably need surgery again. Roman's expression brightens as well as they all sit down to dinner.