Even More Clinically Depressed Pug

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“My biggest regrets in life are being too damn nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and making unworthy people a priority in my life.”

— LOMASDOPE.COM

[furiousgoldfish]

I hate that all of us traumatized, damaged and abused people are always told to change and “turn a new leaf” and recover and to work on getting ourselves better as if this is our job, to undo all the damage that was done to us. We  can’t undo the damage anyway, we can’t live as if we’re not shaped by our own experiences, we can’t live like nothing happened, what is asked of us is not only selfish but impossible. Nobody wants to listen and hear what we went thru and nobody wants to know about the horrors that are happening to children and adults right now, but all of us victims and survivors are supposed to “work it out” by ourselves. We should just quietly not bother anyone with our trauma and grief and terror and pain, we should just “leave it in the past” as if the rest of you all are not throwing tantrums over every fucking inconvenience you have in your life.

You know what? Maybe, maybe if people cared about what happened to us and had the fucking decency to listen and be on our side, we would find it easier to feel compassion for ourselves. Maybe, if people would offer us protection, resources and safety from abuse we’d have an easier time to not feel completely rejected from society and on our own in our pain. Maybe if we could count on warmth and compassion when something bad happens to us we wouldn’t be sitting there isolated feeling like we can’t tell anyone what happened! Maybe if we weren’t told all our lives to not blame our abusers, to always forgive, to not dwell on past, to be the bigger person, maybe we wouldn’t be so fucking scared of being shut down and criticized when we need to make it clear that someone else is responsible for what we’re going thru! That it’s not okay and forgivable if someone causes us unspeakable pain!

How are all of you expecting us to recover while being cut off from resources, compassion, allowance to speak our truth or to hold our torturers responsible? You all are uncomfortable when we’re as much as angry at abusers, as if we’re somehow now a danger to society, like we are now going to take insane revenge and ruin our lives. Our abusers already did shitton of unspeakable horrors to us already! But you’re not after them are you? They didn’t ruin their lives did they? You’re not making sure they don’t do any more unspeakable horrors to us are you? Of course not! You don’t hold them to the same levels of scrutiny and responsibility! It’s easier to tell us what to do, to try to control us, to stop us from becoming inconvenient to you, while abusers hurting us was no inconvenience to you whatsoever! Stop pretending it’s on us that you don’t care!

[asoftwrongness]

It’s okay that you’re not who you thought you would be

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry.”

— Unknown

[yesterdaysprint]

Reno Gazette-Journal, Nevada, November 8, 1961

[terriblecac-moved]

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

[theleenaproject]

Today’s International Self-Injury Awareness Day, so I wanted to make something. All alternatives are taken from this post, go there for more!

Remember that I love you, and I’m here for you. Please be safe.

[shitborderlinesdo]

It’s not Self-Injury Awareness day as of the time I am reblogging this, but this is still a GREAT resource! 

-Kelsi

[puppetloverrulez]

@evinfinite (I don’t know if I already tagged you into this-) @saltyirishpotato2002 @love-life-and-randomness @EVERYONE ELSE

[abstractedthinking]

Tips like these helped me in the past, I hope they can help someone else now!

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

His smile at the end got me

[candiikismet]

Oh my gosh, this always touches me

[cwote]

Make yourself a priority.

[bogleech]

For decades, the medical community has ignored mountains of evidence to wage a cruel and futile war on fat people, poisoning public perception and ruining millions of lives. It's time for a new paradigm.

“Diets do not work. Not just paleo or Atkins or Weight Watchers or Goop, but all diets. Since 1959, research has shown that 95 to 98 percent of attempts to lose weight fail and that two-thirds of dieters gain back more than they lost. The reasons are biological and irreversible. “

[jumpingjacktrash]

i want to go find every asshole who commented on every diet and health related post i ever made with “famine mode isn’t real tho uwu” and slap them upside the head with this paragraph:

“As early as 1969, research showed that losing just 3 percent of your body weight resulted in a 17 percent slowdown in your metabolism—a body-wide starvation response that blasts you with hunger hormones and drops your internal temperature until you rise back to your highest weight. Keeping weight off means fighting your body’s energy-regulation system and battling hunger all day, every day, for the rest of your life.“

[jumpingjacktrash]

i keep telling people to just do the science, telling people that i have done the science with my own body, and making sure i eat ENOUGH and don’t skimp on the fat and protein makes me more active, makes me build more muscle, causes me to ultimately lose fat, and they keep just coming back with blind denials. there’s a certain panicky desperation to the way they cling to the personal-failings model of obesity. i think it’s the same fear that makes some women enforce the patriarchy on their daughters in cruel and violent ways. we’ve all been traumatized by fat shaming, but acknowleging that only invites more bullying.

i too have had medical specialists tell me that my osteoarthritis will magically clear up if i lose weight. i told them it started when i was 14 and skinny, in my knees, and moved to my back when i was 30 and built like a small god, and can they please do their jobs now. the bafflement in their faces! like a circus elephant just stuck its trunk out between the bars of its cage to haul them up by the collar and roast them! they were useless, so i switched specialists. the one i have now treats my arthritis instead of going on a power trip. it is financially advantageous for him to do his damn job because if he doesn’t i’ll fire him.

i have the inborn personality quirk that being bullied makes me push back, to the point where it’s lost me quite a lot of jobs and gotten me in endless trouble, i can’t not do it. so i’m just going to keep shouting it from the rooftops: FAT SHAMING IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT AT ALL TIMES. yes, even then. yes, even what you’re thinking about. no, that instance isn’t ok either.

yeah, i’m taking away all your excuses to talk down to fat people and feel powerful, folks. what are you gonna do about it?

and if you’re rejecting this article and all the science because you’re afraid that, if you stop theatrically destroying yourself with diets, your parents or boss or doctor or partner will be really hurtful about it… sit with this question for a while:

do their insults actually feel worse than the dieting feels? honestly?

personally, i can take a lot more insults without flinching when i’ve got good energy levels and know my biceps are like tree roots under the squish. i dunno about you.

[squidificati0n]

@jumpingjacktrash will you come to the doctor with me? I can’t stand up for myself to save my life, literally. Or maybe teach me how?

[jumpingjacktrash]

i would absolutely come to the doctor with you if you were nearby. teaching you how is harder, it takes practice. start small. identify where you lock up: is it your words that go first, do you become nonverbal? try printing out the article and handing it to them. or do you get a flight urge and run away? practice planting yourself like a tree. practice not apologizing. if you apologize when you don’t want to, go ahead and take it back. “wait, no, i’m not sorry.”

practice your defiant affirmations. “i deserve real medical care.” “i deserve respect.”

practice your scolding. “i am not here to discuss my weight.” “stop that.” “do your job.” “i’m here about my bronchitis, for christ’s sake, if i wanted fad diets and platitudes i’d buy women’s magazines in the checkout aisle.” “did you go to medical school for that?”

recognize attacks as what they are. you don’t have to care why they’re doing it. you don’t have to care whether it’s personal bias, misguided hospital guidelines, or what. if they’re attacking you, if they’re aggressing on you, insulting you, that’s not allowed and you have the power to make it stop. feel your power. hold it in your mouth like a jewel. then spit it in their face like a bullet.

fight.

[saffronheliotrope]

Here are some really excellent scripts for using with doctors, courtesy of My Civic Workout (which is worth checking out all on its own), particularly for those of us who whether by nature or socialization aren’t great at confrontation.

That doc includes scripts for emails to send to a new doctor before a first visit, scripts for talking to nurses about not wanting to be weighed, scripts for conversations with doctors, and tons of resources like articles and studies that you can print out and bring with you to appointments. The scripts are straightforward, polite, and take no bullshit. Highly recommend.

[jumpingjacktrash]

thank you for this much more civilized solution. i’ve inherited my ancestors’ tendency to sweep out of the east in a screaming wave of small shaggy horses and surprisingly advanced projectile weaponry, but i’m aware that doesn’t work for everyone.

[positivedoodles]

I’m slowly moving toward my goals on patreon. When I reach 300$ a month, I’ll start posting longer comics on Saturdays. If I reach 700$ a month, I can keep posting daily for the foreseeable future *and* expand the project. I could add all kinds of cool new positive doodles tie-ins like positive astrology, positive photography, and longer series that focus on specific topics like studying, writing, healing, etc. If these are things that interest you, you can pledge for just 1$ here.

[catpda]

how can ppl say cats dont have feelings like. 

when my cat got deadly sick she refused to eat a single thing and it had been days but when i started crying she ate just a little bit, and upon seeing how happy it made me, kept doing it whenever she could.

now whenever im sad or crying she finds wherever i am with a mouthful of food and eats the pieces one by one, every time looking up at me making sure i was watching her eat it all because she knew it made me happy. and it DOES make me happy

i love cats!!! 

[catpda]

im so glad my little Foofy has touched everyone’s hearts… she luvs you all

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“Abusers don’t abuse every day. They have good moments. Days when they do the right things. Moments when they say the correct words. when this happens, the key is to remember that it is just an abuser having a good day, but still an abuser based on all the other days.”

— Shannon Thomas

[yesterdaysprint]

Marching to Piccadilly Circus, London, 1952

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“You can’t fix me. Let me have my bad days.”

— Dayna Walls- Cochran

[quotemadness]

“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.”

— Audrey Hepburn

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.”

— Wisdom Quotes