i said, young man

I am a blogger / tumblrer / typer / reader / self-parody / flesh and blood human being who hates anyone who calls soda "pop" and wants to be a Muppet when she grows up.

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

[dailypattondoodles]

Oh.

OH

[lurlur]

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

[targetedknowledge]

[modlich-303]

[primarybufferpanel]

I love a highly specific pet advert

[ninjabunny]

ISO: A Pasture Potato / Xanax with a Tail | Facebook

ISO: A Pasture Potato / Xanax with a Tail Attention Sellers: Our pasture is currently a 24/7 reality show of "Mare Drama" and hormonal side-

Here’s the Facebook post if anyone wants to read a lot of comments about very dumb horses! It’s public so no log in is needed

[cumaeansibyl]

GREAT NEWS check out the post! they found their potato!!!

[freckledmer]

Screenshoted the update for anyone who doesn't want to deal with Facebook:

[mousegirlheart]

please dont leave your fox in the hamper too long or she'll go musty. it's better to put her straight in the washing machine

[mousegirlheart]

she's gonna be nice and clean :)

[goose-shoes]

Ok now what

[mousegirlheart]

okay lemme just

there we go :)

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

@numbersareimaginary

[goth-queen]

[annanuran]

Not to ad post or whatever but if I click on this is it just going to tell me to douse rodents in bleach

[beardedmrbean]

[wizardshark]

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

[saspitite]

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING

[stackslip]

we're moving to an internet where children would be banned from reaching out for help and friendship online but abusive parents can post their children's every second online to humiliate and expose them for money with no pushback

[preserving-tiktok]

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[iraffiruse]

[tim-official]

see every time i see this status i get angry because i’ve played through literally every scenario in rct1 and there is no place where this is a thing. there is never more than one park per map. and in rct2 you can’t make that happen i the scenario editor either. it is not remotely within the game’s functionality to simulate two discrete parks and these games were coded in assembly for christ sake so it’s not like someone modded it in by adding the line “int const TOTAL_NUM_POSSIBLE_PARKS = 2;”. there is no conceivable way this post is anything close to true and even though i know how writing all this out reflects upon me as a person and even though i know exactly how meaningless and trifling of a takedown attempt this is on some random facebook screencap with hundreds of thousands of notes im going to post it anyway because i’m too petty to have any say in the matter

[clockworkcrow]

thinking about harvey stardew valley and being a rural country doctor with a caseload like:

guy who won’t accept any diagnosis except “you have consumption and need to go to the seaside for your health”

woman who asks what gemstone he would prescribe for her UTI

guy who spends half the day trying to give himself a concussion and the other half trying to blow out his hearing on his guitar

two people who have struggled with alcoholism for years but reject all of his resources for it UNTIL someone gifts them alcohol biweekly for a year straight and suddenly their lives turn around

guy who will not stop mailing people bombs but in a friendly way and like this just isn’t on the PTSD screener??

guy who won’t stop asking him vague but increasingly bizarre questions about the safety of truffle oil

woman who EATS ROCKS

and also there’s a fucking wizard. what’s up with that. how often do you think the man goes “why did i get an MD why didn’t i just train to be a wizard i didn’t even know that was an option” while performing emergency surgery on this one farmer who won’t stop picking fights with ACTUAL MONSTERS

[escuerzoresucitado]

[dailydankmeme]

Over-Educated Problems

[cwnerd12]

but the costuming is so historically inaccurate

[blktauna]

The armour is from oddly mixed locations and periods..

[yadelah-deactivated20130401]

Exactly what kind of Native American tribe is this suppose to be?

[purrplekat1989-deactivated20140]

The subtitles on your foreign bad guys aren’t what they’re actually saying.

[8bitflowers-archive]

That didn’t happen for another two years…

[arokanjitatsumi-deactivated2014]

THAT OBJECT IS NOT FLAMMABLE

[fandomize-the-nation-blog]

BUT THE VOLCANO WOULDN’T HAVE ERUPTED THAT QUICKLY WTF

[flygex-eatin-on-softies]

JUST BECAUSE A SNAKE IS MOVING DOESN’T MEAN THAT IT’S RATTLING THAT’S NOT EVEN A RATTLESNAKE GOD DAMN.

[lollipopatrice-deactivated20210]

THOSE AREN’T THE RIGHT FANGS THAT’S NOT WHERE THE TONGUE GOES THEY DON’T MAKE THAT NOISE THAT IS A CAT HISS THAT’S MADE OUT OF LIKE 3 SPECIES THAT ISN’T HOW HEAT PITS WORK THEY CAN’T DO THAT WITH THEIR TONGUE HOW DO YOU GET SOMETHING THAT IS JUST A HEAD ON A BODY SO WRONG

[cornchipz-revival]

tigers don’t yowl like cats goddamn that bird does not make that noise YOU CANNOT TALK TO EACH OTHER WHILE YOU’RE FREEFALLING AT TERMINAL VELOCITY SHOOTING AT A PARKED CAR DOES NOT MAKE IT EXPLODE THAT PIECE OF WOOD IS LIKE ONE CENTIMETRE THICK IT”S NOT GOING TO STOP A BULLET

[fulminata2]

GUNS DON’T WORK LIKE THAT! SWORDS DON’T WORK LIKE THAT! ARMOUR DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT! THAT’S IT! I’M REVOKING YOUR WEAPON PRIVILEGES!

[preserving-tiktok]