Used to it
It's 1am
He reaches for my hand as we are listening to music. I feel my the heat rising on my face. I am attracted to him and it seems mutual. I know what will follow - a kiss. And every bit of me screams "No!" I don't want to kiss him, I don't want to be near him, I don't want to deal with this.
He doesn't read body language. I suppose he is too blinded from his desires.
"Can I kiss you?"
NO!
"Yes."
But why? Why I'd say this? Why I couldn't say "no"?
The kiss is bad. I can't seem to relax, I don't open my mouth, I don't close my eyes, I don't want this and I push him away.
And even now, 3 months after, I do not want to touch anyone like that, I feel disgusted.
"You will get used to it and eventually it's going to feel good." My friends say. But I don't want to get used to something like that. Who would?








