* !! OBJECTION.

little do they know that any given day // i'll expose all their hypocrisies. canon divergent + hc based. // phoenix wright. // treasured by edward.

[grapefruitfromfrance-deactivate]

The victim was… Mr. Dick Smalley. Mr. Wright, you do know I see can you laughing behind your desk. Please stop or we’ll kick you out the courtroom this instant.

[demurphart-deactivated20201130]

*slams this on the table* laugh

[hedgebtch]

     the magicians sentence starters.      part i.

there are more important things.

it’s always something with you, isn’t it? it’s always an emergency.

your ability to think that we have the slightest molecule of control over anything never ceases to amaze me.

well, i’m sure you’re a hit at parties.

i’m still high.

i am the angel protecting your future. tighten your shit.

you can’t run away hard enough, can you?

everybody medicates.

am i hallucinating?

if you were hallucinating, how would asking me help?

thank god that you’re confused too!

don’t you want students who make actual inquiry instead of just accepting like sheep?

this won’t hurt a bit.

quit dicking around! do some goddamn magic!

playing with time is such difficult magic. you’ll just make it worse.

magic is real. but you’ve gathered that, haven’t you?

so… ‘be a magician’? is that illegal, or..?

are you guys trying to take over the world, or…?

if you want to take over the world, we don’t teach that, but… give it a go.

why do you have all that nerd-boy dragon porn shit anyway? are you twelve?

hmm. he’s not that cute.

do not come by our house if you have anything important to do the next morning.

maybe he should be scared.

we all signed this waiver. i hope you read yours. it says 'spell work is not unlikely to murder you. and if so, oh well’.

so stay on the garden path, kid.

let’s go find something magic to smoke.

it’s good to be aware that the world is inherently unfair.

you go back out there to the great big boring world, and you’ll never find your way back without us.

i need you to tell them they were wrong about me.

god, were you always this smug?

you have no idea how long it took me to find a spell that was real.

you’re hurting yourself, and you’re not okay.

they cut off my life.

you thought the school was the only place to track the gift?

it’s going to kill you. do you understand?

i know you feel you finally belong, but that place isn’t the point.

you feel right because you’re starting toward your destiny. that’s all.

seek real answers that will help you fight!

i really don’t want to get kicked out.

i really don’t want to be the guy who dies in the first ten minutes of the movie because he’s like 'you know what? let’s take out the ouija board. what could possibly go wrong?’

i’m obviously coming with you.

great, well. that makes me feel a whole less nervous.

there’s no such thing as safe magic. you should know that.

might as well take a risk.

did you think that i came here because i just love magic so much?

i got that you guys need some extra hands or something.

let us know if shit gets exciting.

so what is this place exactly, besides a health hazard?

you ask a lot of questions.

i’m waiting for something interesting to happen.

now, it is so well stocked, it’s like the end of the rainbow.

i know we’re not supposed to fire off battle magic, but… i mean, come on.

we live in a world that is one world among many.

we do not know the exact nature of this entity, only that it is powerful and malevolent.

jesus, you didn’t tell me you were dangerous.

we’re stuck, and they’re trying to kill us, so–

these people are not murderers. trust me.

there’s a bad story every few years around here. i’m not sure that’s avoidable.

it’s amazing i survived as long as i did not knowing that i was a magician.

he died instantly and i ruined my favourite button-down.

funny little irony they don’t tell you – magic doesn’t come from talent. it comes from pain.

so, do you know what it was, the thing that attacked you?

i thought you might be familiar with some pretty crazy shit, since your family…

i just want to be your friend, i guess.

jesus christ, they’re gonna kill us. why did i sign up for this?

just let us out.

don’t be stupid.

you have to find your way out.

look, if you can’t get through this, you definitely can’t deal with what it takes to do what we do.

we could not have screwed up that spell worse, and we can’t take it back, and –

you should hate me right now.

honestly, growing up, the last thing i wanted to do was read fantasy.

i mean, look, we called something from another world. i don’t know, can that really be a coincidence?

don’t get caught.

i can’t get kicked out.

you don’t understand how mind-blowing that is!

i know i don’t know you that well, but i know you’re not the type to scare easy.

let’s just say life wasn’t exactly nonstop fun growing up.

why would you leave the only place with experts that might actually be able to help you with this?

if you’re guilty, i’m guilty.

this is serious for some of us.

okay, you know what? i’m not interested in your personal issues.

come on, let’s go before we freeze our tits off.

i found the most interesting thing buried in our woods.

i know they’re your friends.

i can do nothing in this moment to stop the comet from crashing into earth, is there?

word travels fast when your life’s over.

who would want to know that magic exists if there’s nothing you can do about it… you know, if there’s no one to teach you or help you?

you do not have to make me feel better, we – really, we basically just met each other.

i bond fast. time is an illusion.

how about i find you and seduce you and so lift your spirits and life retains its spark for decades?

i need you to remind me that magic is real.

let’s find a way out of this shit hole.

you piece of shit! you ratted me out!

who shot off that spell?!

scissors make a shitty screwdriver, by the way.

i’m done trying to prove myself to you.

you’re smart. you’re passionate. you question things.

you messed with my head!

how am i supposed to trust you?

why would you ever trust anyone?

i am willing to teach the right people everything i know… and i know a lot, because i have certain connections in certain places.

you want a drink?

hey, have you ever heard of karma? well, sometimes, it’s instant.

you’re a heartless bitch.

get me everything on this list, this week.

i kind of screwed that up.

you’re a much better liar than i expected you to be.

you’re not very remarkable.

you’re so eager to belong, you even forget why you’re here.

i’ve looked into that beast’s eyes.

do you think you have a destiny?

i used to believe that crap too when i was young.

there is no destiny. no born heroes.

learn fast, by any means necessary.

relax, nobody’s taking your mind today.

we’ll make something of you yet.

don’t hop back on the garden path like some little lemming, or i’ll erase everything and start you over entirely, for your own good.

everything’s connected. don’t over-think it.

hope your bits are covered.

i knew he’d come, but i swear i didn’t know so soon.

no one is ready. we need more time.

this is all my fault.

this is your problem that you should solve!

join the party, sad sack.

we’re so drunk!

[ashrizen]

content

[capnledian]

more ace attorney comics. i was livetweeting it and just. its so good

[ashrizen]

so.     amendments to my portrayal ig ??? since i’ve been rewatching playthrus / rereading transcripts of aa4 - 6 & i got to thinking about why i fell away so easily from a character that i picked up as my return to rping & that i loved yeeting about so much, & came to the conclusion that it was me not leaning self - indulgently enough into my headcanons, so.     amendments to my portrayal which play into my canon divergence.

               performance anxiety has greatly subsided, largely replaced by a cultivated calm of knowing that he’s learned to be virtually unreadable, that he can mask more than well enough when he is flying by the seat of his pants, that his literal poker face can be utilized to make his bluffs believable  ;     even apollo & trucy have a hard time reading him, he can now get away with things he used to be called out for in seconds.     it’s not exactly an ideal way of thinking about it, especially with his wanting to reinsert himself into the world of criminal justice as someone who doesn’t need to lie to get through his cases, but it’s a years long habit, from even before he was disbarred & could no longer suffer the full consequences for dishonesty, & so it’s one that’s hard to break.     when things are getting a little hot under the collar, that anxiety of course bubbles right back up, but experience has taught him that he can get through near anything even in the lowest of lows, so typically swatting at the anxiety with forced confidence & determination works out just fine.

               as much as he tries to return to his old ways of doing things, they’ve failed him more than a few times, & the last time was a lesson that stuck, so he’s gone back on some methods.     for one, he doesn’t trust those he doesn’t know personally as easily, even if he wants to believe a client is innocent  ;     if going through the case & existing evidence points in a promising direction, he takes them on, but doesn’t hold out enough hope to be upset if they turn out to have been guilty, no longer bashing his head in in despair if a client is close to being declared guilty unless there’s something in the existing evidence to make him certain there’s something missing that would turn the case around.     he’s also a lot smarter about asking the right questions & asking them to the right people.

               he’s all - around more subdued, as age & a near decade of depression will do to one, no longer as dramatic & exaggerated as he was in his early to mid twenties, but not entirely base - level, more like toned down.     his laughter could still fill a room, just more like the wright office than a courtroom  ;     his smile is still bright, just more like a led lamp than the sun  ;     his movements are still dramatic, just more akin to tv acting than stage acting.

[leneemusing]

misc sentence starters

“  i wish i knew how to talk about it.  ”   “  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ”   “  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”   “  i wish i could hate you.  ”  “  take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.  ” “  i need you to trust me.  ”   “  i missed/miss you.  ”   “  she/he won’t listen to me.  ” “  let me do this for you. please.  ”   “  is there anything else you want to say to me?  ” “  tell me something happy.  ”   “  promise me.  ” “  i just want/wanted to help.  ”   “  let me explain.  ” “  i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me.  ”   “  i’m on your side.  ” “  i’ve got your back, okay? ” “  please, tell me you have a plan.  ” “  stay with me tonight.  ” “  don’t go. please.  ”   “  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be.  ”   “  talk to me.  ”   “  i did what i had to do.  ” “  we can’t keep going on like this.  ” “  i’m just tired.  ” “  i’m scared.  ” “  it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it.  ” “  it’s better to expect disappointment.  ” “  hope is dangerous.  ” “  i like seeing you smile.  ”   “  you look beautiful.  ”   “  be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ”   “  i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ” “  i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up.  ”   “  have a drink with me.  ” “  she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice.  ” “  you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ” “  can i help you?  ” “  i thought you’d like this.  ” “  do you wanna get out of here?  ” “  walk with me?  ” “  well, shit.  ”

[possessedartist]

I love Dumb Bitch Simulator (2007)

[ashrizen]

anyway, i love phoenix.     he’s a dumbass optimist who’s a terrible liar but somehow still gets away with it & really really fucking cares about his friends & is loyal to a fault but is also petty & bitter.     he’s not above using underhanded tactics to get his way even as he preaches truth & fairness above all because he lets his emotions guide him more than his logic & as many insecurities as he has he’s also selfish & arrogant in his pride as a champion for justice.     he’s lost the innocence he had before his disbarment so he makes flawed choices on purpose because he knows that the world is flawed & sometimes he can’t take the high road because he gets too caught up in himself & in achieving his end goal, so others have to be there to ground him.     he is still fundamentally a good person & he wants to do good things & he wants to believe in people even if it’s harder now than it once was, but he tries, god how he tries, & he passes on his late mentor’s lessons to others, trusting that they will be able to carry them on when he himself cannot.     i love phoenix.

[ashrizen]

hey capcom y’know what it’s called when you soft-reset your characters when you run out of ideas & ignore experiences you’ve put your characters through / ignore continuity with said experiences & have them never talk about them ever again & basically give no clues as to how they’re dealing with the aftermaths of experiences they’ve gone through ??????????

lemme give u a hint

[ashrizen]

ok so first thing’s fucking first i would fight capcom any fucking day send a representative tell em to square up

[tigerexe]

when the entire defence dumb as hell

[ashrizen]

i cracked

[kilometresrufflefuck]

things that are canon in ace attorney

edgeworth had a set of custom chess pieces made just so he could brood over beating phoenix

apollo is a self-professed proficient at hula hooping

athena naps at the office

edgeworth can play flute and piano

edgeworth has a dog named pess and he gives it his cravat and talks to it

edgeworth’s emotional state hinges on pess’s wellbeing

apollo has a calico cat named mikeko and he calls it his girlfriend

kristoph has a dog named clams (in italian)

now klavier probably has a dog named clams (still in italian)

apollo cries a lot, even about people he barely knows. apollo is a crybaby

[kilometresrufflefuck]

apollo reads the newspaper for the funnies only

trucy has a magic trick specifically to change the type of tea in a pot

young miles and franziska had a very serious conversation over whether the milk in the courtroom vending machine was milked from the defendants

young miles carried a spare cravat

maya fey made phoenix write reports on the steel samurai

young detective gumshoe used his first ever bonus check to buy swiss rolls, gave most of the packet to a little girl, didn’t get mad at her when she made him drop his portion, and risked his job and his freedom to cover for her so she wouldn’t get in trouble

young mia fey had no problem loudly repeating grossberg’s words in court when he told her to rub the evidence “into old greybeard’s face!”

[danceintheskies]

also:

athena didn’t know who klavier was when she first met him but still wanted his autograph anyway

phoenix broke into a barn at some point

apollo was born in 2004, meaning he’d be 12 right now

also klavier would be 14

athena is the same age as cody hackins (the kid from 1-3)

apollo enjoys making puns on his name

the only reason why phoenix wears a blue suit is that blue is his favourite colour

in japanese apollo almost always uses the -san (somewhat respectful) suffix except for trucy and clay

edgeworth wore a bowtie with shorts when he was a kid

apollo watches (or watched) doctor who

athena has been called “banana girl” before

phoenix swears to shave his head several times

apollo checks his reflection in windows to make sure his hair is still spiky

no one in-universe acknowledges that klavier’s name is “piano” (in german)

[kilometresrufflefuck]

Phoenix nursed an ambition to burst into someone else’s trial with a loud OBJECTION (and achieved it!)

Edgeworth frequently denies being a fan of the Steel Samurai right before launching into a spiel about its lore and history

Apollo reads manga, even in the localisation

Mia Fey once commented that Dahlia’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Mia Fey resorts to violence when exposed to cringey behaviour

College Feenie

Apollo told Athena that randomly presenting irrelevant evidence to everyone was the key to being a successful trial lawyer

Kay Faraday and Shi Long Lang once had a very serious “wolf versus raven” argument that resulted in them growling and cawing at each other

Phoenix has called Edgeworth “Daddy”. In court.

Phoenix has cross examined two parrots and an orca

Apollo carries (or has carried) candy around, probably in his pockets

When informing the court of Romain LeTouse’s last words, Apollo didn’t just repeat them. He PLAY-ACTED them. Multiple times.

[tsunderegrumblings]

did anybody remember that time Phoenix admitted to going cow-tipping?

[eccaia-nightpaw]

Saving this for… research purposes.

[ace-attorney-headcanons]

This is important to me but don’t forget:

- Apollo can’t swim.

- Phoenix and Apollo are afraid of heights.

- Simon got so bored during a cross examination one time that he just straight up left.

- Mia once implied that the “P” on Feenie’s sweater stands for “Pussy.”

- Grossberg talks about his hemorrhoids to everyone. ESPECIALLY in court.

- “Barbed Head”, “Horn Head”, “Drill Head”, and “Braid Head.”

- Rayfa gives really good massages.

- Phoenix has chronic back pain.

- Godot drinks 17 cups of coffee on a daily basis.

- Phoenix once chewed and swallowed a glass necklace with a lethal poison in it and somehow was unharmed.

-Phoenix once ran onto a burning bridge then fell 60 feet into a freezing river but somehow only caught a cold.

-Phoenix once got hit by a car, flew 30 feet in the air, then hit his head directly on a telephone pole but somehow only got a sprained ankle.

- Larry’s testimony, “Nick is a Jerkface.”

- Phoenix can’t play piano AT ALL but was somehow employed as a piano player for seven years.

- Winston Payne’s wife is described as “surprising” by both him and the judge.

- Klavier’s band is made up of only people involved with the law.

- Engarde hires a literal assassin to kill his celebrity rival so he can protect his career as an actor for a children’s show.

- Said assassin later dresses up as an ice cream man, which Edgeworth buys ice cream from.

- Phoenix won a case with amnesia.

- Phoenix was whipped unconscious in court.

- Gumshoe, in an attempt to get to a courthouse in time to present evidence, crashed his car into a telephone pole.

- Lamiroir unkowingly tells her real son and daughter that Machi Tobaye is “like a son to her.”

- Trucy throws a sword in court.

- Phoenix throws his cell phone in court.

- Franzy’s Whippity Whip Trip is a “one hit wonder” children’s picture book.

[civilianlillian]

- Apollo was physically unable to walk across above-stage due to his fear of heights unless Athena held his hand.

- Phoenix stared a butler in the face without recognising that he had the same stitches as the bellboy who took Maya hostage.

- Athena’s idea of a warm-up before trial is to go for a run. In a suit and heels.

- “Mr Wellington loves large bananas!” is a statement Phoenix has yelled in a courtroom while being serious.

- The Judge fully suspected Phoenix was planning to hire an assassin and proclaimed him GUILTY in the middle of someone else’s trial.

- Athena tries to make the guard in the Detention Centre laugh by pulling bizarre and funny faces.

- Pearl Fey, age 8, ran from Kurain Village to the city courthouse to attend Maya’s second murder trial. Kurain Village is about two hours away. By train.

- Phoenix openly admits to watching Kids’ Masterpiece theatre.

- Not only did Phoenix cross-examine an orca, but said orca was his previous client.

- Phoenix will never change his cell phone’s ringtone from the Steel Samurai theme despite not being much of a fan.

[ashrizen]

// meta topic: how did Phoenix grow up? Family situation/ethnic background/socioeconomic status/however you want to interpret it!

i’ve answered questions of the nature before ,     namely talking about  family life in general & his parents & other relatives  ,     & i’ve touched on socioeconomic status growing up in both answers about family in general & when asked about  how his current status differs from childhood’s  ;          i’ve also talked about  how phoenix himself was as a child  ,     as an individual  & also  a touch on his class relations  ,     so the only of the suggested interpretations you’ve provided i’ve not mentioned before would be ethnic background ,     so let’s shoot for that .               he is of japanese descent ,     all ancestors up until ryūnosuke living their entire lives in japan ,     until descendants of ryūnosuke immigrated to america ,     joining the integration process of other japanese immigrants at the time .               though only a few generations down the line ,     family following great - grandparents gradually lost touch with their background & thus they & their descendants     (   phoenix included   )     know only as much of japanese culture as has surrounded them & as much as they have given time of curiosity to learn ,     only those that had enough interest in doing so learning japanese     ---     phoenix is not one of said people ,     though he has considered learning in the past .

send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on   //   accepting.

[ashrizen]

Why did you let Sis die?

                                  ❛     m - maya   ...     ❜

                                  breathing   becomes   the   hardest   task ,     speech   following   a   close   second .               there   is     a   WEIGHT   in   his   chest     &   he   feels   as   though   his   throat   might   suffocate   him ,     it   tightens   so .               brow   furrows   &   mismatched   eyes   anxiously   search   maya’s   expression ,     but   it’s   hard   to   focus   his   thoughts   as   his   body     TREMBLES   IN   A   PANIC     to   think   of   a   response .

                                  his   mind   floods   with   white   noise ,     images   &   words   intermittently   popping   up   only   to   be     drowned   by   the   HAZE     of   mingling   thoughts .               a   voice   in   his   head   reminds   that   he   couldn’t   have   known ,     that   it   was   not   his   fault ,     that   he   had   not   the   slightest   inkling   of   what   his   mentor   had   been   involved   in ,     let   alone     the   DANGERS     that   her   meddling   entailed .               how   could   he   have   let   something   happen   when   he   had   not   even   been   privy   to   the   possibility   of   such   a   thing   occurring   ??               &   yet   ...

                                  &   yet   a   silent   whisper   escapes   him .               an   apology .               he’s   APOLOGIZING  .               what   for   ??               he   couldn’t   have   done   anything ,     he   has   nothing   to   apologize   for .               another   voice   silences   rational   thought .               you   were   late ,     it   speaks .               that’s   right   ...               he   was   late   ...               the   weight   in   his   chest   pulls   at   him   more ,     now ,     seemingly   HEAVIER  ;          it   pains   &   fills   with   agony ,     yet   all   he   can   manage   are   silent   words   that   hurt   more   &   more   with   each   sentence .               gaze   falls   away ,     unable   to   meet   the   girl’s   eyes   anymore .

                                  ❛     i   ...               i’m   ...               i’m   sorry   ...               i   ...               i   should’ve   gotten   there   earlier--   i   was   ...               SUPPOSED   to   be     there   earlier   ...               if   i’d   ...               been   on   time   ...     ❜

                                  a   memory   rises   from   the   static ,     one   that       NEAR   MAKES   HIM   SPIT   OUT   HIS   HEART  .               mia’s   body   ...               there   is   a   sting   at   his   eyes ,     as   if   ready   to   welcome   tears ,     yet   they’re     dry   as   SANDPAPER  .               he   swallows   hard   &   words   tumble   out   instead   without   thought .

                                  ❛     she   was   still   warm   ...               if   ...               i   had   ...     ❜                              he     cannot   FINISH  ;          he’s   choking   on   his   own   thoughts   at   this   point ,     arms   stiffly   wrapping   around   himself   as   though   it   will   help   him   contain   all   that   wishes   to     EXPLODE   from   within   him  .

                                  ❛     i’m   sorry ,     mi---   ...               maya   ...     ❜

break my muse in 15 words or less   //   accepting.

[ashrizen]

5 , 9 , 14 , 28

5.          on an average day ,     what can be found in your character’s pockets   ??

bike & office keys ,     wallet ,     his magatama ,     & whatever folded up papers or small items are left over from or are still being stored in his court record .

9.          is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up   ??

yes  ;          it’s improved by quite a bit ,     most notably thanks to his lawyer status .               his family worked rather low - key professions that were basically just enough to have a well enough living with slight dips every now & again .

14.          does your character remember names or faces easier   ??

faces .               he’s never really been too good with names ,     often misremembering a letter or two or sometimes whole syllables ,     especially if he’s only recently heard the name or met the person ,     so while he may recall seeing a face even after years have passed ,     he won’t always be able to put a name to it .

28.          how quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation   ??

incredibly slow .               he’s very difficult to push far enough for him to go beyond sharp words & shouting ,     as he’s naturally just ,     simply put ,     a fucking weenie .               he’ll verbally wreck or slam someone any time ,     but he won’t even jokingly hit someone ,     honestly .               that being said ,     it’s not exactly impossible to make him mad to the point where he uses force ,     it’s just that you’d have to be a ginormous ass to him in his eyes for that to happen .

character development questions: hard mode.   //   accepting.