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Having your two main fandoms at the moment consist of main characters with the same name is so odd

Very different settings so normally I can tell the difference but sometimes I’m like “Oh! That’s not who you’re talking abt”

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #dead poets society #dps #neil perry #how did this happen #and they’re both really upsetting medias too #I gotta find a third neil-leading thing that is very happy

When Mr. Keating dies none of the boys will know

#dead poets society #dps #john keating #no one’s gonna reach out and contact a small group of students that he taught years before #they won’t be at his funeral #they won’t leave flowers at his grave #they may never find out he passed #may never consider it before they do themselves bc the Captain will always be the same unaging man in their minds #anyways goodnight

I’ve gotten kinda maternal over Aaron and idk how that happened

#aftg #all for the game #aaron minyard #hes so funny during rereads actually #and I don’t agree with him most of the time but I’m just like :( that’s my baby #which is weird bc he lowkey stills pisses me off #but at the same time it’s like awwww #also he’s so cutie on my tomodachi life #he’s so socially awkward/distant and that’s so real

Thinking abt Andrew going back for Neil in an apocalypse

Thinking about how that isn’t a Neil thing for Andrew, that’s a person he cares about thing. Bc Andrew is caring, and he would never leave his family behind.

And that’s what gets to Neil. Neil who has never known care before survival. Neil who knows that Andrew cares enough to risk something for him, even hypothetically

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #the apocalypse thing oh my gosh #bc Andrew would go back for Nicky or Kevin or Aaron as well #but he’d also back for Neil bc he’s part of his life now #he’s one of Andrew’s people #Neil’s never been anyone’s people before #too disappointing for his father and too much like him for his mother #cared for but never enough to go back for #not when Mary would see him down and keep running knowing he’d find a place to hide and come back for him #knowing that andrew would turn around and help him forward instead of him huddling in an abandoned building with his arm bleeding #that means something

Formatting from docs to ao3 kill me now

#fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 writer #the stupid formatting drives me up a wall #bc it’s so nice in my doc #and then it’s so squished once I move it #I’m literally copy pasting it #it should just transfer the same #ughhhhhh

Finally got around to watching the finale of good omens (I know I’m late, it was a group thing and there was sickness shhhhh)

I honestly liked how it ended

Them creating a world where humans could make their own choices without the disasters that cosmic beings were throwing onto them was so sweet

Especially with Crowley being the one to really make the decision right after Aziraphale attested to how much he really cared for humans

Also when it panned down to the rings AHHHHH they’re LITERALLY ineffable husbands

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #they are quite literally meant to be and them making the decision for humanity over themselves and STILL getting their happy ending #crying it’s amazing #we’re just gonna ignore that I don’t personally agree with some of the stuff at the end #like I do believe free will and Christianity can coexist and I don’t think that in a new universe there would be human versions of them who #all existed at the same time and met and live together now #BUT I really like it in the sense of the show so I’m not upset at all they went that route #it was agreed upon in the group watch that we needed to see the lesbians back again tho #where are my lesbians #anyways it’s been a hot minute since a finale left me just satisfied with the ending #yayyyy good omens #for a great finale and a great show

This was really silly and made me giggle so I’m sharing it

#aftg #all for the game #nicky hemmick #happy birthday Nicky hemmick

Still a bit confused how Robby’s talk to Whittaker abt him setting boundaries with Amy somehow ended in house sitting

Like I just wanna know how, in his brain, he went “yes, asking my coworker and subordinate who I know has issues with boundaries to take care of my house while I’m out on a trip that I might not come back from stripping a support system and a role model from him, while telling him he needs to set boundaries, is a great idea”

#the pitt #dennis whitaker #michael robinavitch #dr Robby I love you but you were ON one #both in this scene and lowkey most of the second season #like I can kinda see where the place to be that isn’t at her house can come in handy #but like #cmon #also whether you believe in hucklerobby or not you gotta see that’s smth more than professional #doesn’t have to be romantic but it steps beyond coworker or boss/employee #(I don’t think employee’s the right word here but yknow what I mean)#anyways it kinda seems a bit hypocritical #and because of that hypocrisy and what we know abt the characters and what we know the characters know abt each other is feels a bit like #an abuse of power #still love Robby but yikes #definitely felt like it was playing into smth there #also just HORRIBLE timing

Staring at the fic in my bookmarks that hasn’t been updated since 2023 like I can will it back into existence

#fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #ugh it was so good too #the plot and the execution it was just mwah #but I get it #I have some very unfinished stuff that I’m never going back to so yea #but I do miss it :(

Why are we always being encouraged to pick one thing over another and be so concrete abt our lives and the decisions in them?

Why can’t I explore and find middle ground and just go about life without being pressured into be non-contradictory

#personal #choice #I’m such a big middle ground person it’s insane #bc what do you mean you can’t see the reason in both sides?#the beauty in both sides?#the love and the passion in so much around you even if they do technically contradict each other?#I can’t make decisions for the LIFE of me #which I will admit can be bad sometimes #but other times it lets me experience facets of life that I never would be able to experience if I had “picked one thing and stuck to it”

Without Mr Keating Neil Perry might have lived to go on and become a doctor and live out a “proper” life

But he never ever would have been happy again

#dead poets society #dps fandom #neil perry #not blaming him for Neil’s death at all like that was fully on his dad for forcing him to give up everything he loves #but it does kinda strike a personal nerve just a little bit #bc ignorance is bliss #you don’t realize how awful and draining things are until someone points it out to you #and then you can’t unsee it #and it’s hard and exhausting to keep doing it once you’ve realized what it’s been doing to you and your mind #it’s hard to keep pulling thru #but I think I would rather be aware thru it then wake up one day on my deathbed to realize that I lived a life full of bitterness and never #achieved anything I wanted to #I’m gonna pull in an rtc quote real quick bc it applies and im lowkey obsessed #“but to say that if one dies young they die needlessly that is to discount the years we had”#“I’d gladly take my 17 years of life over nothing”#neil got to be happy before he died #I think that means something

When Kevin first got to the foxes Andrew snuck his phone from him and changed Riko’s contact to “Riko (derogatory)” and Kevin had a panic attack and drank a bottle of vodka

#aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #kevin day #kandrew in a way #in a very vague way #in a way that probably isn’t even a way but it makes sense in my mind a little bit #anyways Andrew doing things that amuse him greatly and Kevin just going thru it #ignore any technical canon innacuracies or that wouldn’t make senses it’s late and this is funny to me

Thinking abt how all of the relationships Jean has, he’s stuck with some sort of power imbalance

He would always be number 3 to Kevin’s number 2, always be good to Kevin’s best.

In a certain vein it would be the same with Riko. But also he would always be the victim to the tormentor in Riko and Tetsuji.

Maybe in another universe him and Neil would have found even ground, but in this one he was the trapped while Neil was free.

Renee was his savior, that’s something that Jean believed he would never be able to give back to her in full.

Jeremey was his captain, his partner in only the request to make Jeans life easier.

Cat and Laila let him live in their house, rent free.

The Trojans had all taken a chance on Jean even though they only knew him to be violent and cold.

With Elodie, he was the one with the power. He was an older sibling, a protector. But that power, that responsibility, crushed him under the weight of having to bear it so young. Having to bear his own power so it wouldn’t bear down on his little sister while his parents power bore down on them both.

#aftg #all for the game #jean moreau #the trojans #aftg trojans #just Jean thinking of all the ways that he is underserving of these people’s love #while also trying his hardest to pay them back for it while believing he’ll never be able to #leaving him stuck trying to “make up for” what the have given to them #to be worth it in return #but he’ll never believe he is #I don’t think there’s any relationship that doesn’t have a power imbalance though #I think some are definitely worse and actually concerning #but there is always going to be something that someone else is doing for you that you can’t do for yourself #the point then becomes what can I do back even when they never ask you to #perhaps that’s just the give and take of relationships tho #who knows #ANYWAYS #jeans power imbalance relationships #bc that man can never feel true peace and comfort in another bc he does not believe he is worth the effort that they are putting in bc he #can never see himself as a person who can give that back to them

I really gotta finish my tadc prediction fic before the final episode comes out

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc prediction #kinda #it’s more of a “my take on what would happen if they get out based on this other theory”#BUT EITHER WAY #I need to finish it #fanfic #it’s been in my fic wips for lowkey a #really long time

The most devastating thing abt dead poets society is watching Todd get better as Neil gets worse

#dead poets society #neil perry #todd anderson #they break my heart

Before I watched stars align I had seen a bit of it online and they always seemed to portray Maki as the therapist friend

Oddly emotionally intelligent for his age and very very sweet

And then I watched the anime and was like woah this kid is lowkey hella rude

Just a bit confused how we ended up with that overgeneralization bc I love his character the way it is in the show

#stars align #maki katsuragi #he is 100% the emotionally intelligent part and he’s sweet but not in a typical way #but I’m honestly very happy with the canonical portrayal of him #just my thoughts bc I wouldn’t say I’m annoyed by the overgeneralization but I think it would be nice for his nuance to exist in fanfom #I know a lot of the fandom was pretty young when I got into it tho #which like I’m not gonna judge I was really young when I watched it soooo #anyways just my thoughts

Occasionally I wake up having remembered how much I loved stars align and how we never got another season and I STILL don’t know what happen to Maki after the last episode

GIVE THEM BACK TO ME

#stars align #maki katsuragi #I need it back I’m literally begging you #it was genuinely so good #one of my favs at the time and I just kept waiting for smth new #but nope #now I’m back again and hoping but lowkey know it’s never gonna happen #anyways I’ll probably rewatch it and cry or smth now

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