chronic case of the existenties

[abyssaldyke]

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

[everything-and-elsewhere]

I really spent half of this game thinking that the cleric's name was Ebb and the chimes were just trolling him

[everything-and-elsewhere]

so the other day I was meeting with a civil engineering professor and he was like

"if you hear any weird sounds dw it's just a bat they missed when they relocated the thousands of bats that took up residence in our new engineering building because it was poorly engineered and made a very nice and accessible shelter for the local bat population"

but I didn't even get to see a bat :(

[everything-and-elsewhere]

nothing quite makes me neurotic like taking the big 5 personality assessment and finding out that my personality is mostly being neurotic

[everything-and-elsewhere]

do we really need a Carolina Reaper? I mean a Grim Reaper makes sense - there are enough tellings and retellings of those fairytales to keep em reaping for a lifetime. But there are only two Carolinas. Surely that's not enough to warrant their own reaper. The Dakotas don't get one

[everything-and-elsewhere]

guys that tiny little pocket inside that bigger pocket on your jeans is the perfect home for your second dose of Adderall just thought you should know

[everything-and-elsewhere]

what do you mean prokaryotes aren't paid for their labor?

[i-am-a-fish]

I love carbonation I love carbonation, I love carbonation I like it when the beverage fights back

[everything-and-elsewhere]

Never let them tell you that you can't eat chicken nuggets in the shower

[nightvale1stward]

Night Vale First Ward

In case you missed it, the new names of the Young Women's groups are: Builders of Faith, Messengers of Hope, Gatherers of Light, Slayers of Doubt, Dancers of The Void, Bees of The Hive, Maidens of Mia, Champions of Laurels, and of course KEEPERS OF THE FORBIDDEN OATH

You should already know which group you are a part of, but if not, just ask the shadow wolf that appears in your dreams when the moon is full, or Sister Björnson, who also appears in your dreams when the moon is full. Either will do.