Ivan knew well if he were to participate in Alien Stage, so will his family.
He may be dense at times, but he's not stupid.
Ivan already knew days, weeks, months before Alien Stage. He walked alongside his little makeshift family, laughed alongside them and even hugged them. Knowing well he will be losing his brothers and sisters.
He was a spectator in every round except for his own, he wouldn't go without watching every single round knowing well he'll have no one left, himself included.
Round 1 was merciless, Mizi and Sua were chosen first against each other. Ivan watched as his sisters sang a duet when they weren't supposed to. The Aliens were cruel, to put two of his sisters against each other who wouldn't live without the other. He knew those flowers at Anakt Garden were for no good.
Sua lost the round and she was his first loss. Ivan couldn't cry for her, like always. He watched as Sua gave one big smile to Mizi before dropping dead on the ground with a thud and Mizi followed after in despair. Ivan knew what were her intentions were, she sacrificed herself so Mizi could live, as she couldn't live without the pink-haired girl.
She was so selfish and selfless in a twisted way only Ivan can understand. He knew her so well when he couldn't understand himself.
After the round, he tried to talk to Mizi but stopped trying once he realized the extend of how much Sua's death affected her.
Round 2 came a month later, Till vs Acorn. Ivan's object of affection against his brother. He was conflicted throughout the whole round.
Till sang a song all about Mizi while Acorn was left standing there, confused and panicking. Ivan almost jumped out of his seat once he realized what Till was doing.
The winner was obvious and Ivan lost another sibling.
Acorn was a carefree guy, he didn't stress over classes and followed the rules. Ivan first met him at the transportation station of human pets, they were side by side in their respective cell. Acorn loved doing memory games and was great at memorizing and remembering. If you forgot something, ask Acorn and he will tell you what you forgot.
Ivan made a makeshift grave for Acorn back at Anakt Garden, just a small rock with his name engraved on it. He placed it next to Sua's own grave.
He didn't have the bodies of them to bury, he doesn't know what happens to the bodies.
Round 3 was between him and Marty.
He sang fairly, he didn't do a duet like Mizi and Sua, he didn't try to cheat like Till did. He sang his part and waited for Marty's turn.
Ivan was never ever this frustrated from his disability to cry.
He really wanted to cry, cry for Sua, cry for Acorn, cry for Marty.
Marty was a quiet boy, like Ivan himself. He and Acorn were pretty close, if the fact that they sleep on the same bed together in their arms accounted for. Marty didn't eat much, so he was thin and Ivan used to be so worried about his diet. With the little times he eat food, Ivan made sure Marty would eat his plate without getting sick.
And he was so sad when Acorn lost in Round 2, he was so sad, angry and grieving when Till didn't give him a chance to sing. So much so that he tried to kill himself before their appointed round, Ivan was the one who other than Acorn, cared about him enough to stop him.
But that was in vain as Marty was probably in the place beyond the sky with Acorn. His hand was shaky when he carved Marty's name on a rock and put it beside Acorn's a little closer.
Another sibling was lost.
Round 4 was between the infamous Luka and Durian. She was dead before Ivan could brace himself for it.
She was dead before Ivan could assimilate her unavoidable death.
Durian was a stubborn girl who will not take no for an answer. She may seem off like a bully at first impression but she's a sweet girl deep inside. She had a sister before Anakt Garden, a younger sister who she lost to her guardian. Durian was sensitive of her looks, how her dark green hair would never be tamed down and she loved teasing Marty of his unrequited love for Acorn. He would know, he teased him alongside Durian too.
Ivan thought he knew well, he really did. Years ago, when Durian was just new to Anakt, he had found her cutting up her own thighs when he was looking for her. Ivan didn't understand the feeling of dread and fear in his head when he found her.
He was scared of letting her near sharp objects after, he couldn't trust Durian to not harm herself, even worse, kill herself. He thought she was getting better months later, but to see her body on stage, already shot down for refusing to sing.
Another rock was added to the list of graves.
Round 5 came a month after. Mizi vs Luka.
Ivan didn't know Luka and he already hated him. For living when Durian died, for still having the nerves to try and manipulate Mizi when he was the reason why Durian had to refuse to sing.
Ivan was on edge when Mizi didn't sing, didn't try to and run around the stage to avoid Luka as the fucker sang and teased her past love life in of Ivan.
Ivan has never hated anyone in his life. He begged whatever cruel god up in the lands beyond the sky that Luka will die and Mizi would win.
But not all of his wishes get fulfilled.
Mizi finally lost it after few more taunts from Luka and jumped at him.
A one-sided fight broke out and Mizi landed a good few hits before she was dragged away by the guards.
Ivan's heart couldn't take it anymore.
For over six months, he's been mourning the loss of his family.
For over six months, he's been carving names of his siblings on rocks to make a grave he doesn't have the bodies for.
For over six months, he's been unable to cry.
And now, Mizi was sure to be dead and to be another name for Ivan to carve and be unable to cry over.
Smoke went out and the stage were obscured from his vision.
For the first in awhile, Ivan felt panic. He tried to see under the smoke but he couldn't see anyone.
Multiple shots rang out and Ivan's blood ran cold.
He tried to look for a pink hair, or a white dress or anything.
He found nothing but an empty stage when the smoke cleared.
Mizi's name was put next to Sua's.
Ivan has never felt so empty in his life.
Not since he was in the streets.
Not since he had to build graves for a family that was not his own blood.
Not since he lost half of his family.
Not since he first found Durian with a paper cutter and bloody thighs.
Not since he stopped Marty from hanging himself.
Round 6 was between him and Till.
No more graves were added since the one who was making them finally joined his siblings.
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