evil @evil-sinister-wizard - Tumblr Blog

one of these days i should really formalize a tagging system

so-much-for-subtlety

lesbian-moon-gf

Girl you are an obligate carnivore

humedetector

but her appel

derinthescarletpescatarian

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

stavarosthearcane

Good Job.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#this post gets me every time

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

heroofthreefaces

do you think no one else has time travel

derinthescarletpescatarian

#i dont remember seeing this post before but it was already liked LMAO

That was you in a different timeline

sreegs

i think that cross might be too big for that jesus

thepaisleyelf

There’s a liquor store near my house that seems to be run exclusively by frat boys. They lovingly curate these bags, which I browsed today while “Oops I Did It Again” played through the store speakers. This is art to me, there is beauty everywhere for those with eyes to see it

thepaisleyelf

The update everyone has been waiting for….

virtualgirladvance

everytime i see this it makes me want to buy from them exclusively

hotvampireadjacent

@pissvortex

loveridden1999

shell of a person is such an apt description like yeah i feel exactly like that rn

cleanturnssmartgirlsdumb

you need daddy to complete you

loveridden1999

daddy needs to be euthanized

horsefigureoftheday

Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:

1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow

2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down

3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke

4. Get your friends in on it

prince-of-goths

A horse's biggest purpose in life is to make you think they died

prokopetz

Tabletop RPG character who, when encountering any sort of systemic injustice, piously declares that in their homeland such things do not happen; eventually it's revealed that they're the sole survivor of a very localised apocalypse, and the reason their homeland does not have such things is because everybody's dead.

winonaparadise

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

winonaparadise

I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.

transhumanisticpanspermia

op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.

(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)

winonaparadise

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!

winonaparadise

i described it quite well actually.

prokopetz

It's so, so funny when folks bring up GURPS as a counterexample to the argument that even purportedly generic tabletop RPG character creation systems are tuned to produce a specific Type of Guy. GURPS character creation is desperate to produce the snarky unreliable narrator of a military science fiction novel. GURPS is practically gagging for it. GURPS will do unspeakable things to push your character in that direction.

prokopetz

(Well, okay, that's glib. GURPS will also be satisfied with the snarky unreliable narrator of a sword-and-sorcery-inflected urban fantasy novel. See, that's what makes it a generic system – it can do two things well.)

prokopetz

Based on the present contents of my dash, this week's relationship goals are a snarky witch and/or disgraced medical doctor with alt-with-a-hint-of-goth fashion sense who's older than you by just enough to make her hooking up with you a little bit eyebrow-raising and regards making you take unlabelled drugs as a bonding activity.

prokopetz

(For the "okay, this one is so oddly specific it can't be vagueing a broad trend" crowd, joke's on you: I've got Fields of Mistria, Tactical Breach Wizards, and an inexplicable resurgence of Persona 5 thirstposting on my dash as we speak – though I'll grant the age gap in the last one is more than just a little bit eyebrow-raising!)

canoncanidae

prokopetz

It's so, so funny when folks bring up GURPS as a counterexample to the argument that even purportedly generic tabletop RPG character creation systems are tuned to produce a specific Type of Guy. GURPS character creation is desperate to produce the snarky unreliable narrator of a military science fiction novel. GURPS is practically gagging for it. GURPS will do unspeakable things to push your character in that direction.