Excalibur

Gary Hart If there’s pug hair on your trousers - we’ll get along just fine. Entry’s free if you’ve got an umbrella and your lap is open for sitting.

[excalibur-knight]

OKAY LISTEN 👓👑

I keep seeing all these RP blogs on my dash but NO ONE is doing Kingsman RP.

??? WHY ???

Harry + Eggsy can fit into LITERALLY ANY AU, don’t fight me on this:

• university AU (yes I’d fail exams, shut up)

• OMEGAVERSE (don’t look at me like that)

• medieval knights (chainmail is sexy okay)

• Men in Black (Harry in shades? pls)

• modern world no Kingsman (domestic husbands fight me)

• time travel (Harry telling me off in Victorian English lol)

• androids (DONT PRESS HIS RESET BUTTON!)

• werewolves (we already half there tbh)

• slave market (don’t ask just accept it)

• AVATAR AU (YES the blue aliens, I’m shiny in 3D)

• magic AU (Harry with a wand… dangerous)

• PIRATES (CAPTAIN HART, SAY IT)

• mafia husbands (he’d shoot me for fun ngl)

• bodyguard AU (IT’S CANON, IDC)

• Hogwarts (I’m Gryffindor, don’t @ me)

• BARBIE WORLD (I’d SLAY in pink heels)

LIKE. THE MATERIAL IS ENDLESS.

I’m pinning this. If I ever find My Harry™ I’ll be on CLOUD NINE.

Please… don’t tell me I’m gonna be husbandless forever???

[excalibur-knight]

INCOMING MESSAGE: These diplomatic meetings are such a bore. Missing you terribly. Hope to find you still in bed so I can join you when I get back. Speaking of, shall I pick up some chinese for dinner? Hx

INCOMING MESSAGE WITH A HIDDEN PHOTO: Missing me already? And you said a gentleman should keep his emotions in check 😉 Alright, I miss you too. Hang in there, super-spy.

I haven't left the bed, honestly trying to remember where I tossed my boxers, but without your search-and-rescue team, I'm hopeless.

As for the Chinese food: oh yes, please! I'm starving to death! Get that spicy sesame duck I love, and plenty of spring rolls. But fair warning - that's just the first course. xxx E. 🍑🍆

Hurry up, I've got an emergency situation here that requires your... personal intervention.

[photo evidence attached]

[girlrust]

happy pride to my favorite gif in the world

[heartshapedbedmp3]

THIS DICK IS SO COCK

[historia-is-a-cool-name]

Knights who's every answer is basically:

"I'm yours to wield"

"I'm yours to command"

"I'm yours to serve"

"I'm yours to have"

"I'm yours to take"

"I'm yours to enjoy"

"I'm yours to know"

"I'm yours to be"

"I'm yours"

"I'm yours"

"I'm yours"

[explorersaremadeofhope]

the face of a man who presumably has been trained to withstand actual torture but who can't stand to listen to another second of this shit

[workingonasongbird]

happy ides of march!!! remember to shoot him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, stab him, grab him, and he's wearing a tuxedo!!!

[snoweylily]

Proud member of the "emotionally-repressed light-haired bisexual in love with my socially awkward dark-haired and possibly gay sarcastic best friend" club

[willpressleverfordopamine]

In the Kingsman fandom we are absolutely ROBBED of Harry Hart's badassery. Like I get why but I'm kinda over all the fics making him out to be an old guy. Yeah yeah yeah he suffered a head injury and is getting on in years but you cannot tell me as writers we don't have the capacity to write him at the height of his strength even with all that in mind. We can have all the robed slippered recovering posh Harry but pls let's also have a Harry who maintains his fitness and martial arts levels in the Kingsman gym. Let's have sparring Harry. Let's have adrenaline junky Harry. He deserves it. I love cozy Harry but this man deserves so much more.

[gary-unwins-blog]

[vivisecti-deactivated20250222]

[sunboxinsignia]

[excalibur-knight]

What can Eggsy say to Harry over and over again?

[stoic-by-nature-deactivated2018]

“Did you see those legs? How could you not want to be married to those legs?”

Eggsy [to Merlin as Harry walks away from them]

[scary-tiny-butterfly]

I get why people can view Harry and Eggsy’s relationship in the first movie as platonic, but there is literally no way to put a platonic spin on this shit lol

Me after watching Eggsy that gay ass line:

[mountaincripple]

btw abled people hanging out with severely and/or visibly physically disabled people is not charity or sacrifice or impressive or anything like that. its normal fucking friendship dude. its normal to be friends with people who are different than you !! like i would fucking hope your circle isnt all people exactly like you.

it's not 'awh soooo inspirational and kind' to hang out with disabled people. in fact, some of you ableds are lucky if any crip decides to hang out with *you*

[wren-kitchens]

happy disability pride month and once again, FUCK lazy subtitles. fuck the [speaks foreign language] instead of actually transcribing the words, fuck shortening sentences and changing whats been said for no reason, fuck censoring swearing in captions but not in audio and fuck anyone who says youre being 'too sensitive' for being upset about a lack of accessibility

[punkrock-loser]

actually i can't make it. i need to shag harry hart sorry..... :(

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

[excalibur-knight]

How strange it would be to answer: "A nephew is certainly nice, but what are YOU doing tonight?" Unfortunately for my mother, my love for older men will never let me go.