HOLY SWORD

[excallibro]

> shinigamikiddo 

Somehow, he    SWEARS    Excalibur’s voice echos in the Death Room & that’s more than enough to make Kid want to strangle him. Can you strangle and kill Excalibur? Probably not… But he will try. That’s more than enough for him as he steadies his teacup.

                                  ❝ Eight. I pick eight because                                     it is my favorite number. ❞

   Yet another boisterous,  

                 ❝  FOOL!  ❞

        Then, he’s tapping the end of his cane against the floor in a steady tap-tap-tap tempo.  ❝  What right have YOU, fragment, to have favorites? This brings me to provision 610: Look both ways before you cross the street.  ❞  The Holy Sword twirled effortlessly on the tip of his left foot.                                                              Why? Who could say.

[excallibro]

> shinigamikiddo 

The moment the cane was    POINTED    at him, Kid took    several     deep breaths in order to keep from punting this little…     thing     to the moon and back. He had the    STRENGTH     of leg to do it. just holding back the rage was hard enough.

No. He wouldn’t let Excalibur get to him.

                           ❝ Death grant me strength. ❞

Words are spoken quietly. They’re not meant for anyone to hear. They were     ONLY      meant for his hearing. Luckily, there just happened to be a still warm cup of tea that he’d fixed moments prior the Holy Sword’s arrival. That tea has found its way into pale hands. Cup was lifted to his lips.

Hopefully this tea will soothe his nerves.

                 ❝  FOOL!  ❞  

   Yet another obnoxious declaration as he spun back ‘round on his heel to shove his cane back into the death god’s face, nearly knocking the fine teacup from his hand in the process. With a thoughtless tap or two against Kidd’s nose, Excalibur continued, steering their conversation into a completely different lane.  ❝  Pick a number between 1 and 12. Go on.  ❞

[excallibro]

> shinigamikiddo! 

A pause. 

That voice….

THAT VOICE…

                           ❝ That isn’t coffee. That’s tea!❞

                ❝  FOOL!  ❞

   Shamelessly points cane in his face.

        ❝  You have no say in what ‘is’ or ‘is not!’ What does a child like you know, anyway? Though, I suppose if I were to tell you my story you might grow for the better -- ah, yes. I’ve always been a merciful man, after all. SO, what say you, fragment? Will you hear my tale?  ❞  Then, before Kidd could even respond, he was at it again, spinning ‘round on his heel to face away from his audience.  ❝  My legend dates back to the 12th century. It began in a Winter such as this -- though I suppose it could have been Spring...  ❞

[excallibro]

> @shinigamikiddo! 

   ❝  FOOL! -- My mornings always begin with a fresh cup of coffee----  ❞  Whips out cup of tea...

[excallibro]

virtusferocia! 

           { ♫ };; —–                           ❝… Can we discuss this elsewhere? I’m kinda busy.❞

   ❝  FOOL!  ❞  Aaand there went his cane, ( obnoxiously ) prodding her nose.  ❝  One is never too busy to hear my tale, for it is one of grandeur and righteousness. It began on a Tuesday or Wednesday just like today... Or maybe it was a Friday ; but it definitely could’ve been a Thursday that felt like a Saturday----  ❞

[excallibro]

☼ @virtusferocia

   ❝  My legend begins in the 12th century----  ❞

[excallibro]

❝ sonabilis.

     ❝ I didn’t invite you in! You just showed up out of nowhere, like you always–  ❞ 

        ❝  Peh! Preposterous. I am here because you required my presence. You should be honored, really, that I’d enter the house of a rude girl like you. Though I must say, I always was an accepting man ; always guiding the lost back to the path of righteousness. Ah, yes. Sir Lancelot the Third could testify to that himself.  ❞

[excallibro]

❝ sonabilis.

      ❝ ..How did you get into my house?  ❞ Though she appreciated his advice, Maka noticed that none of her windows were open.

        ❝  FOOL!  ❞ Again with the cane... ❝  The question is not ‘how’ I got in, it is why you invited me.  ❞

[excallibro]

❝ sonabilis.

       ❝ No one said you were a chef.  ❞

        ❝  Ha! That’s where you’re wrong!  ❞ Twirling on his heel, ❝  My legend dates back to the 12th century, you see. A time where chefs were all the rage - &, naturally, so was I. You see? But I do not cook, I had personal chefs for that! Spring rolls are only to be had in spring, I learned.  ❞

[excallibro]

sonabilis.

        ❝ FOOL. Who said I was a chef?  ❞

[excallibro]

strikiing.

This thing really knew how to induce a headache. Buck really wasn’t sure what he was talking about at this point, but he did detect an insult. ❝ I don’t think my brain is puny… or maybe it is. I never really looked at it before, man. If you think about it though, yours is probably tinier— you got a much smaller skull than me. ❞ As the creature swung his cane, Buck made sure to take a step back. Where the hell were all these provisions coming from? ❝ I think… you just need to chill out, y’know? Life isn’t fun when you have all these provisions and rules to follow. ❞

        Pah! Was he claiming that he, the Holy Sword Excalibur himself, was STUPID? No way in hell would he stand for that! 

              Hence, a trademark, ❝ Fool, ❞ burst from his invisible mouth as he stalked toward him. ❝ How dare you try & insult someone as great as me. My brain has more in it than you could ever comprehend; I’ve experienced your parents lives as well as every one of their ancestors’. To infer that I am at a level lower than trash like yourself is absolutely RIDICULOUS. ❞ 

              Adopting a lighter tone then, Excalibur turned on his heel before tossing his cane up to balance on the end of his snout. 

              ❝ These provisions are for the good of us both. Without them, you’d be disrespecting me & that is not something you to do legends, you see. Provision number 2 reads as follows: do not question any of my provisions. Heed this warning: a man decided once to do just that, & now, no one knows where he is. Which brings us to our next provision: look both ways before I cross the street. ❞

[excallibro]

onheilige ;;

❝On the contrary. What’s a funny little penguin like you doing all by yourself? Don’t you know you could get eaten?❞    Or at least he assumed Excalibur was a penguin.

                      ❝ Penguin? FOOL! ❞ Shoving his cane in the boy’s face,                         ❝ What makes you think I am something of such low standard?                         I am the mighty Holy Sword, Excalibur. Please, hold your                        applause. I know my excellence may be intimidating, but trust                        me, you will get used to it -- OR YOU MIGHT NOT! ❞ Casually                        swings his cane. ❝ There was a man I met once back when I                        was young. It was a very different time, you see. A dark time. A                        time filled with joy & everyone smiled. Yes, I do believe it was                        Summer’s eve when I met that man. No, I’m certain it was Spring. ❞

[gcnius-deactivated20160603]

“yes, i dare interrupt the ‘almighty’ holy sword. i’m trying  to tell you that  i don’t care  what you have to say so you  might as well save your breath.”

[excallibro]

                  ❝ FOOL! Of course you care! The world itself must care for I carry power that shakes the Earth to its core. Ah, but every legend has its disbelievers -- all but me, of course. My legend dates back to the 12th century & everyone has been interested in my tales. Granted, there was this one woman who crushed my heart but that is a story for the books & I’d rather move on. After all, the 12th century was a long time ago-- ❞

[vasccubus-archive-deactivated20]

Jay had no idea what was happening, and just what she was up against. So in a slight confusion, she slowly took the time to sit down with her legs politely closed, and her hands resting over her lap.

                                       {{❤}} “…you have my attention.”

[excallibro]

                  ❝ Of course I do, ❞ the Weapon proclaimed, pointing his cane directly at her. ❝ My legend dates back to the 12th century -- a time of confusion. One where not many knew where the world was going, not even me. The winter’s air was cold & many fell ill with the plague of that time, BUT! I was there to save them for I am the Holy Sword, Excalibur, & nothing can defeat me, you see. Not even times of famine. ❞

[strikiing]

❝ I only assumed ‘cause you asked… ❞ He raised an eyebrow while listening to the “Holy Sword” briefly explain himself. The name Excalibur sounded familiar. Wasn’t that some sort of fairytale? ❝ Nah, I’m sure your book’s cool and all, but I don’t read. However, I do enjoy the overall aesthetic of books. ❞ For all Buck knew though, this could be some strange, drug-induced hallucination. On the other hand, if this Excalibur character were real, it still wouldn’t be the strangest thing to occur in Beach City.

[excallibro]

                  ❝ PREPOSTEROUS! I do not ask questions for I know everything that there is to know. My legend dates back to the 12th century, you wouldn’t understand if you tried. Though, if you read my book, ❞ he took the opportunity to waggle his cane mere centimeters from this “Buck”’s face, ❝ you might fit an idea in that puny brain of yours. ❞ 

                   Excalibur turned, liberally swinging the accessory. ❝ Aesthetic-smashthetic. Provision #768: you cannot have any opinion that is not centralized around me. Also, keep in mind that provision 769 states that that opinion may never be negative for otherwise the opinion is wrong, you see. & I do not appreciate liars. ❞

[musaxfamilia-archive-deactivate]

Oh God, with all the talking! Though she was neither Weapon nor Meister, so she didn’t attend the DWMA, Kaylie had still heard things about this… thing. Yet nothing could have prepared her for the chatterbox that was the real Excalibur.

“I’m jus’ gonna…” She made a move to take the weapon’s hat, hoping to just slide it over his snout thing in an attempt to silence him- or at least muffle his words a bit.

[excallibro]

                   He was the mighty Excalibur! Needless to say, he foresaw her futile leap of chance & hopped above her attempted grab only to smack her across the face with his cane. ❝ FOOL! Too many cooks spoil the broth! Do you know what this hat means? The taller the hat, the greater the chef -- I am an exquisite chef, as you can see. I am superb in everything I do. As is the legend of the Holy Sword that is me. I know! I shall sing you a song! ❞

[musaxfamilia-archive-deactivate]

Oh, that she couldn’t not comment on. “Oi, oi! What’s wrong with winter? It’s a pretty season, thank ya very much!” The Irish huffed a bit. It was her favorite season, honestly, and wasn’t going to let an insult to winter slide past.

[excallibro]

                  ❝ FOOL! Your opinion does not matter. You must listen to everything I say & hold it as truth. My legend dates back to the 12th century, if I’m not mistaken -- which I’m sure I am not. & it was a beautiful Spring day! A time of new beginnings, you know. I wake up every morning & have a nice, hot cup of tea. ❞