Dark silence

[exhaustedhumanheart]

When I'm gone, will I ever be missed? 

Sometimes it seems that no one cares

The times I showed vulnerability, I got stabbed in the back

And they ask me, "Why are you like this? Solitary, introverted... silent..." Well... you don't understand my pain

No one understands 

When you have been abused so many times by so many people... you get tired

Tired of the opportunities, tired of living, watching hope slowly die

The darkness getting bigger and bigger 

A wall of regrets, a grief for my wasted energy and time 

People that didn't deserve to know me, to have my time and my body 

I neglected myself for so many years and gave people the permission to treat me like shit... because I was so fucked up... by everything 

If I kill myself trying to free myself, I would rather die being free than spend one more day being a slave

[exhaustedhumanheart]

I see who you are

I see your disgusting lies…

I've finally come to realize how blind I was, and how chemically unbalanced my body was

You took my vulnerabilities and made a fucking party out of them 

You are the most pitiful, wretched type of person there is

Your kind disgusts me

You just take from other people because you don't have the courage to do the dirty inner work and deal with your own shit

You live your life behind masks, lies, and performances…

But I can only imagine the hell inside you that when someone comes into your life carrying a flashlight, your first instinct is to kill the light

Your days surely swing between despair and emptiness, 

knowing that no one loves you for who you are because you don't fucking know who you are. 

So what is there to love? huhh? Nothing…

The same nothing I came across

The shadows you cast struck my heart, my mind, my shoulders

Sadly for me, my empathy chained me there for a while..years…months

But now, finally free, I can see the mirror

I can see the facade..

And now it all looks like a mission gone down the drain, a pit full of regret, manipulation, filth, and dark waters

What the hell was I thinking?

I mean, you were good at hiding it in the beginning..

But you can't run and hide forever, especially not when you have that much shit to cover up

Let's be honest

You took me for someone I wasn't

You're not the only one surviving in this world

I've learned many things..for example, how to gather information, recognize patterns, and pick up my damn weapons when I need them

Nothing escapes my sight now

Eagle eyes

X-ray bullshit detector

Get the fuck out of my precious life!

Yeah I said it .. at least I'm honest

[exhaustedhumanheart]

Echoes of my mind, leaving me exhausted and hopeless

Never thought that I could feel like this ... a disappointing feeling that cuts deep down to the core

The moon is the witness of my sleepless nights, where I can't ease my anger and sorrow

I wish I didn't care; definitely, I would suffer less

Just standing here in front of an ice wall where my heart used to be

Breaking the glass won't help this time

It's not an emergency, just accumulated despair. 

Silence that won't change anything tomorrow

I'm leaving as much as I can behind, but time is not merciful; it is just showing me, in brighter colors, what went wrong

When I'm gone, will I ever be missed?

Will this rain wash away my sorrow? Will I feel better tomorrow?

I used to be a romantic girl, but that led me through hell

Now I just have a wall of regrets

Love that didn't come back and didn't care enough

[exhaustedhumanheart]

​What the hell do you know?

You will never understand what it's like to be me

Your mountains are not like mine to climb;

we had different starting points.

Being alive and having a life are not the same thing

You ask… I answer, but I'll probably just lie about it and change the topic

Loneliness on different branches of the same tree

Just let me be

You don't really want to know

The show is over

[exhaustedhumanheart]

You played these insidious games, 

giving and taking back

getting closer and pulling away 

I told you so many times, “Don't break my heart, I've already been through so much” 

I begged you, “If you are not ready, let me go” 

But you insisted on staying and agreed to be a better man

I guess those agreements didn't mean a thing

You complied with everyone else but me—

your girlfriend. 

I was just a third-class citizen 

an accessory, 

a piece of furniture

You just came to me when you needed to 

never giving back…

never reciprocating... 

A wall of lies

[exhaustedhumanheart]

I don't want to feel like this anymore 

This feeling of a complete disregard for your time...your words...your energy.... your space...

You just took and forced me to leave, leaving me drained, exhausted, abandoned, and hurt

You will say that I’m the one that left ... but you were never there

So, technically, what did I leave??

An empty space where I was the only one that cared? 

The only one that checked up on you? 

The silly, hopeless romantic girl sending you cute messages with emojis, sending you reels, talking about us and planning romantic dinners... just to hit a wall of indifference and coldness

Less of a humanist than yesterday

Nothing to miss from someone that gave me so little and neglected me that much

[exhaustedhumanheart]

Bad Omens 🖤🔪🖤🎶 🖤🩹🌑

[exhaustedhumanheart]

-.-

...off topic, I love when I band put your shit in words. Bad Omens 🔪🖤🩹

[exhaustedhumanheart]

An apology that never came

A cry to no one

A wound that cuts deep down

Killer of hope

Dreams shutting down 🫥 ❄️🔪💊