Jareth, the Goblin King, Labyrinth (1986)
VS.
Westley, The Princess Bride (1987)
Propaganda
Jareth, the Goblin King, Labyrinth (1986)
Portrayed by: David Bowie
Defeated Opponents:
- Jafar [Marwan Kenzari], Aladdin (2019)
- Ivar the Boneless [Alex Høgh Andersen], Vikings (2013)
- Edgin Darvis [Chris Pine], Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
- Thranduil, the Elvenking [Lee Pace], The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2016)
“Are those tights family friendly? Definitely not. Was Jareth the sexual awakening of more people than I can count! Obviously, it's David Bowie in a leather jacket/feather cape/poets shirt/etc what more could you ask for. He's sexy, he's ambiguous, he's powerful but he will bow to you. He's symbolic of growing up and also the Goblin King who will feed you poison fruit if it means he's got a shot at winning. The fics are legion and for good reason. "Fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave" rewrote my brain.”
Westley, The Princess Bride (1987)
Portrayed by: Cary Elwes
Defeated Opponents:
- Forge Fitzwilliam [Hugh Grant], Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
- Sir Lancelot [Luc Simon], Lancelot du Lac (1974)
- Vlad III Dracula [Luke Evans], Dracula Untold (2014)
- Robin Hood [Cary Elwes], Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
“He's the smartest and strongest guy in the whole movie, and he can do everything. But he's not just a champion, he's 100% devoted to the woman he loves. When he stares at Buttercup with the most outrageous blue heart eyes and murmurs "as you wish" I melt. And his accent is hot as hell.”
Additional Propaganda Under the Cut
Who is the Hottest Medieval Man?
Jareth [David Bowie] (Left)
Westley [Cary Elwes] (Right)
Voting ended onJul 15, 2025
Additional Propaganda
For Jareth:
For Westley:
“When I first watched the Princess Bride, at a middle school sleepover, we paused on Farmboy"s face, and left it there as we fell asleep. Have had an enormous crush on Westley ever since.”
“Show me an xennial woman who did not have at least a LITTLE bit of a crush on "eyes like the sea before a storm" Westley and I will show you a liar (and I say this as someone who grew up to realize that she had an even bigger crush on Buttercup, so.)”
“The way he says "As You Wish' had baby-me's heart all a-flutter before I even knew what that meant. And honestly the way he says every other line invokes the same mooneyes and sigh. He lives for True Love, he knows it is the most noble thing in the world! His speech to Humperdink is the greatest thing ever. What I mean to say is I braved the ROUSes for a glance at this man!”
“TRUE LOVE. Poisoner, duellist, cunning and fast and full of tricks and doing it all to save the girl he hasn't seen for years but still loves more than life itself what's not to love?? (As you wish.)”
We report as the air is rapidly cooling after a hot afternoon: really, there are all sorts of angles at which we could look at the sky today. They are all correct, and they all make the same amount of sense. We prefer the one that hurts our neck the least, however.
If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should turn it up and lay on your bed and close your eyes and really listen to it even if its 10 minutes long because at the end you will know that person much better I think
Woke up this morning with a grief as deep as the ocean. I'm being tumbled through the surf of the chilling Atlantic. The memories salted and bitter on my tongue. I can't catch my breath between the crashes of all that is gone, all the last times I never knew were their last, the unfaithful promises of "next time". They say you can never come home once you've left. Home is a sea shore on a day in July 2004. A cranberry bog full of fog one early morning in 2009. A crisp October breeze through an apple orchard in 2013. The march of time will erode the very stone you measure your memories by. I miss my home town. I miss New England with my very bones. I fear I'll never be back. I fear if I return it'll just make the longing that much worse.
i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever
thinking about this bit from an article by Ann Druyan in 2003:
“When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me – it still sometimes happens – and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous – not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous and so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful… The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived.
That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday.
I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.”
An Intangible Thing @existential-sunbeam - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
