Existentialist Fortune Cookies

You eat a fortune cookie. There is a scrap of paper inside. It says: "Nothingness haunts being." Welcome. If you are reading this, you have perhaps figured out the essential premise behind the title: the blandest part of fortune cookies is not the sugar wafer they are made of, but rather the boring, repetitive, often tautological message found on the scrap of paper inside. Perhaps the text ought to paint a different picture of reality than none at all. Perhaps, just perhaps, fortune cookies ought to be existentialist in nature. Welcome to a world of philosophy, madness, anarchy, and more complaining about baseball than is reasonably healthy.

[mimikyu-chwan]

[existentialistfortunecookies]

You: I can't decide whether or not punching fascists is good.

Me, an intellectual: Humanity will only be free when the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

[existentialistfortunecookies]

game guide: we don't recommend playing as a mage on your first playthrough-

me, running from enemies, with two hp to my name: fuck you i'm a wizard

[haarute]

[bassiter]

whenever i see four pictures together i naturally expect it’s gonna be either loss.jpg, a political alignments chart, or the four horsemen of the apocalypse

[thetransintransgenic]

I should real feel so, so sorry about this

[thetransintransgenic]

ALTERNATIVELY

[captorations]

what the fuck is the alolan pokedex

[inkieswirlsgaming]

[bidoof]

[retrogamingblog]

[existentialistfortunecookies]

[existentialistfortunecookies]

Let’s put the X back in Xmas

[thekarmariaconnection]

TEEN BIRD SQUAD

[outofcontextdnd]

a perfect fourth sneaks up on you. roll for initiative

my band director trying to incorporate jazz band into dnd (via outofcontextdnd)

[writing-prompt-s]

He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. And Santa, low on funds to pay his elves, has begun selling his surveillance data to the NSA.

[discountedpikachu]

Santas been fuckin naughty this year

[spookbeast-deactivated20160424]

[retrogamingblog]

Congrats to California, Massachusetts, Nevada, and Alola for getting that Proposition passed

[existentialistfortunecookies]

Kanto Citizens: Oh no! It's Team Rocket!

Johto Citizens: Oh no! It's Team Rocket.. Again!

Hoenn Citizens: Oh no! It's Team Magma/Aqua!

Sinnoh Citizens: Oh no! It's Team Galactic!

Unova Citizens: Oh no! It's Team Plasma!

Kalos Citizens: Oh no! It's Team Flare!

Alola Citizens: lmao its team skull

[nelajus]

Holy shit We’re the rival I never thought of that