Mikey X The Menstrual Cup
· It is early afternoon, you have finished running all of your adult-required errands. You decide to make your way down to the lair to climb in bed with your, HOPEFULLY, sleeping boyfriend and get in some serious snuggle time while he was still and stationary (for once).
· However, when you walk into the common space of the lair, you find him not only still awake (no surprise, really), but he was in the kitchen…cooking? This isn’t like Donnie, he might brew a pot of coffee or pull a box of Pop-Tarts down out of the cabinet, but cook in the middle of the day (night for them)? No. You make your way towards the kitchen where he is gently stirring a tiny pot of boiling water.
· You bound up the tiny set of stairs to the kitchen platform and you greet him, “Hey, baby, are you cooking something good?”. However, when you get close enough to hug him, you see nothing in the tiny pot but your emergency menstrual cup that you leave at the lair.
· “Uhhhh, no…”, Donnie says pulling you in for a hug with one arm and still stirring the wire whisk, which is housing your cup in the middle of it, around in the water with is other hand, “just re-sterilizing your cup for you.”, he offers almost apologetically.
· “Uh, it WAS sterilized, what happened?”, you ask more than a little mortified to see your intimate object in the family kitchen being stirred like a pot of soup.
· “Well…Mikey happened.”, he said, giving you a faint smile hoping it would wipe the look of shock off your face.
· You groan and sink into one of the kitchen chairs, “What did he do now?”.
· “Well, apparently, it all started right morning training and meditation…”, Donnie launches into the story as he was able to piece together from everyone in the family.
Flash Back to Mikey Getting Out Of The Shower After Morning Training & Meditation…
· Mikey gets out of the shower, dancing around despite the 3 hours of training he just endured and the mandatory hour of meditation that Master Splinter insists calms the soul.
· However, Mikey doesn’t feel calm. In fact, he feels energized! He bops around the bathroom, naked as the day he was born…well…hatched…and singing Dance Monkey at the top of his lungs.
· He is on his second chorus of “So they say dance for me, dance for me oh-oh-oh, I’ve never seen anybody do the things you do before…” when a forceful pounding echoes from the bathroom door.
· “MIKEY! HURRY UP! Da rest of us want to get a shower ta-day too, ya know!”, Raph’s gruff voice yells through the door.
· “Alright, alright, chill bro! I’m just airing Lil Mikey out, I’ll be out in a minute.”, Mikey answers back but he can still hear Raph continuing to grumble from the other side of the door.
· Mikey goes to the sink and grabs his toothbrush from the middle shelf of the bookshelf that serves as the catch-all area for their toiletries. He squirts a hefty amount of toothpaste onto his brush and starts scrubbing his teeth. As he stands there, his hyperactive mind becomes bored with the task at hand and he starts fingering his way through the other items on shelves.
· Leo shares the middle shelf with Mikey but Leo’s items are too straight forward and mundane to catch his interest. Instead, Mikey reaches up to the top shelf that Raph and Donnie share. Raph always has the best cologne and Donnie the best moisturizer. He easily finds Raph’s cologne and splashes a bit too much on his neck. He coughs as the strong scent overtakes him…oops!
· He looks for Donnie’s moisturizer but doesn’t see it on the shelf where it normally sits. Hmmmmm…. Mikey looks on both shelves but no sign of it. Don must be out.
· Then he gets the brilliant idea to look on the bottom shelf, the girls probably have some!
· The bottom shelf used to be for Master Splinter but he rarely kept any specific toiletries on it and so when April and Y/N became part of the family, so to speak, Splinter offered his shelf to them. He said that girls need more things than old rats do and he was happy to make them feel at home.
· The girls’ shelf was always full of neat things to play with and use.
· They had the sweetest smelling perfumes and body powders.
· They kept little makeup bags with various face paints and application tools…Mikey knows, he’s tried some on once or twice…he just wanted to see what it would look like if he had a sister.
· Aside from their perfumes and makeup, the girls often have special sweet-smelling soaps and body lotions on their shelf as well.
· Mikey finishes brushing his teeth and bends down to the bottom shelf to see what moisturizer is available when another strong pounding beats at the door. “MIKEY!”, Raph growls out, “If ya don’t get ya green butt outta dat bathroom in one minute, I’m breaking down da door!”.
· “Okay! Okay!”, Mikey answers back and quickly scans the bottom shelf for some lotion. As he finds what he’s looking for and pulls the lotion out and, as he does so, the bottle knocks a colorful little drawstring bag, about the size of a ping pong ball, onto the floor.
· ‘Huh. What’s in here. OHHHH I beat it’s their secret stash of candy!’ Mikey thinks to himself.
· As another insistent knock nearly caves the door in, Mikey quickly scoops up the drawstring bag, throws his towel around him and exits the bathroom with his pilfered items.
· In the privacy of his room, Mikey slathers on April’s Peony scented lotion. He sniffs himself and feels rather happy to be smelling like Angel Cakes herself. Once he’s done with the lotion and dresses, he sits back on his bed to enjoy the little snack he found in the bathroom. After all, he’s always sharing his secret stash of Orange Crush with them, they can share their candy with him. However, when he opens the bag he doesn’t find a tasty treat.
· Instead, inside the little sack is a odd looking plastic-silicon object. Mikey pours the little item out into his large hand and stares at it…bewildered. What the heck is this thing?
· It is shaped like a bell but it doesn’t have a middle pendulum or clapper. It has a long ‘tail’ off the back of it, but it is just a squishy little…bowl?
· How do you set a bowl down that has a tail? Plus, the little bowl has pinholes in four points around the rim…what good does that do?
· Mikey rolls the little item around in his hands trying to figure out what it was used for, what it could be….and then he starts to giggle. ‘Ohhhhh….I bet this is some type of sexual toy!’, he gleefully thinks to himself.
· He looks at the shape and then decides it has to be some type of nipple suction device.
· So, he starts trying to get the little bowl to ‘suck’ to his hand but it will not stay sealed on there.
· Next he tries to get it to ‘suck’ to the side of his face. Nope, still not sticking!
· Maybe it needs a more flat surface than his hand or his face, so he tries to get the little bowl to stick to his chest plates. But, again, the puzzling item will not stay stuck to his chest.
· As he’s laying there in his bed, trying his best to get the thing to stick to him, his door busts open with a raging hulking figure crowding the doorframe, “MIKEY! Ya used up half of my cologne again”, Raph accuses but stops short in his accusation as he sees Mikey playing with the little object against his plastron.
· “What da hell are ya doing, ya little weirdo?”, Raph asks stumped.
· “I found a little bag on the girls’ shelf and I thought it was candy but it isn’t candy, it is this little sex toy! However, I can’t figure out what it does”, Mikey answers him, showing Raph the little bowl.
· Raph’s face scrunches up in confusion, irritation, and slight disgust and says, “Ya betta put dat back before anyone finds out ya took it. If Casey or Donnie find out ya took their girls’ sex toy and were playin’ with it, they’ll murder ya in your sleep.”. Raph turns and leaves the room, shaking his head and grumbling about “dumb shit” under his breath.
· Mikey continues to stare puzzled at the tiny object. Is it a sex toy? It doesn’t seem very exciting to be a sex toy. It doesn’t vibrate or shake. It doesn’t suction on to anything. Hmmm…
· Maybe it isn’t a ‘sex’ toy, but just a toy. Mikey looks at the item and tries to imagine what it could be used for and then it hits him! This has got to be some New Aged hacky sac ball!
· The tail must either make it more aerodynamic OR add a challenge to keeping the ‘ball’ in the air.
· Ohhhhhh there’s nothing more that Mikey LOVES than a new game with a challenge!
· Mikey rushes out of his room, with the little toy in hand, and runs to into the training area so that he has lots of room to work and maneuver around in.
· There, in the dojo, he throws the little item up into the air and easily starts bouncing it off his knees, his feet, his elbows, the top of his head.
· Strangely enough the tail does seem to add a bit of a challenge because if he hits the toy at the wrong angle, it goes flying in the wrong direction.
· Dang! This thing is fun! He starts wondering why the girls hide this away and didn’t want to include him in on their game.
· Then the realization smacks him right between the eyes, THIS is what they are doing when they both go to the bathroom together! They are in there playing this game and having fun without him!
· Well, he’ll show them! He’ll practice with it until he masters it and the next time those sneaky girls run off to the bathroom to play, he’s going to join in and beat them AT THEIR OWN GAME!
· To add spice and flair to his hacky sac skills, because let’s face it – he’s Mikey, that’s how he rolls – he adds his nunchucks into the mix and begins smacking the tiny item around with the swinging end of his chucks…sometimes even bouncing it off the walls for ‘extra points’.
· He’s so into his new game that he doesn’t notice the silent figure quietly watching his activities.
· “Michelangelo! What are you doing?”, Master Splinter asks sternly.
· Mikey halts his activities and lets the little item drop to the ground between their feet.
· “Hi, Sensei, found this little toy on the girls’ bathroom shelf and I’m practicing my gaming skills”, Mikey answers back with a proud smile.
· “My son, if it was on the bathroom shelf, I am sure it isn’t a toy but a personal hygiene item, go put it back where you found it.”, the old rat answers mildly and walks off towards his bonsai room.
· Mikey picks up the item and looks at it inquisitively, a personal hygiene item? What can this tiny, little thing clean?
· Mikey leaves the dojo and walks towards the bathroom. As he gets close, the bathroom door opens and a freshly showered Leo, in a towel, exits the room (yes, ladies…swoon).
· As Mikey passes Leo to go back into the bathroom, he asks Leo, “Hey, Leo, do you know what this thing does? I found it on the girls’ shelf, I thought it was a toy but Master Splinter says it is a hygiene item, do you have a clue what it cleans?”.
· Leo eyes the small cup shaped item that Mikey is holding and figures that the tail end looks like some type of pick, so he answers “Looks like some type of oral device to me. Maybe the girls clean their teeth with it.”.
· Mikey takes the item and stands in front of the bathroom mirror and tries to use the little tail to pick his teeth. However, the little tail is too chunky, yet flimsy, to slide between his teeth.
· It doesn’t seem to be any type of flossing item and the big bell wouldn’t make it easy for the girls’ tiny hands to hold while they clean their teeth…then it hits him!
· AHA! It’s a IN-THE-MOUTH TOOTHBRUSH!
· He puts some toothpaste on the tail and cups the bowl end to the tip of his tongue and then pulls it inside his mouth. There he runs the little cup along the inside of his teeth, trying to clean them.
· However, the item doesn’t want to stay put at the end of his tongue as he’s using it and the slim tail isn’t spreading the toothpaste very evenly. Mikey is so put off by the uneven brushing of his teeth that he spits the item out into his hand with a “Blah”.
· At that moment, as still towel wrapped Leo (yes, ladies, again…*swoon*), comes back to the open door and asks, “Hey, Mikey, have you seen Don’s lotion? I was going to use some but couldn’t find it.”.
· “Nope, I used some of the girls’ lotion”, Mikey answers back with a mouth full of unused toothpaste, “Hey, Leo, this little thing doesn’t floss or brush teeth too well, are you sure it’s an oral cleaning device?”.
· Leo looks at the little cup again and shrugs, “Maybe it’s just a cup. Looks like a cup. Maybe they use it to measure mouthwash or something.”
· With that, Leo leaves and Mikey washes the unused chunks of toothpaste from his mouth.
· Well, despite it being just a cup, Mikey thinks it is a rather cool little cup. In fact, he wants to keep it for a bit.
· Later that evening (rather early morning for them) they gather around the kitchen table for a family dinner, Mikey and Raph have cooked up a nice meal in celebration!
· They are celebrating having successfully stopped a well-planned Foot Robbery. It was hard battle but they had stopped it and the city was safe again.
· As the family ate, the boys were talking actively, giving Master Splinter a play-by-play of who did what and when during the battle. As the story came to an end, Mikey decides it is time for a toast.
· He stands and offers “thanks” to Master Splinter for his excellent teachings, then he asks his brothers to raise their glasses and drink to their “Total Badassery and Foot Clan kicking ability”. As everyone raises their glass and ‘cheers’, Mikey brings out his special ‘little cup’ and takes a shot of liquor from it.
· At this, Donnie chokes on his drink and spits the contents from inside his mouth all over the kitchen table.
· “MIKEY!”, Donnie coughs and chokes out, “What THE HELL are you doing?”.
· “Chill bro! What’s the issue? Just having a little shot of the hard stuff to celebrate and help me sleep.”, Mikey chides back at Donnie.
· Donnie looks at his CLUELESS brother and just shakes his head, “Mikey, that isn’t a shot glass! That’s Y/N’s menstrual cup!”.
· At this information, and the sight of Mikey with a period cup in his hands, Splinter hangs his head into his hand, Leo turns a darker shade of green, and Raph starts roaring with laughter.
· Mikey doesn’t understand the terms Donnie is using and just stares at everyone in confusion, “So, it’s a singing cup?”, Mikey asks.
· “Not minstrel cup, MENSTRUAL CUP! It’s what she puts inside her vaginal canal to catch her period blood and YOU ARE DRINKING FROM IT!”, Donnie barks back at Mikey.
· Mikey drops the little cup to the floor in a panic.
· “And that’s when I scooped it up and decided I would try to clean it for you, my love”, Donnie offers again apologetically, as he stares at your shocked face.
· Your mind is blown, completely just blown.
· Your intimate object has not only been seen by EVERYONE in the family, but has been on and in Mikey’s body, has been hit against walls, and even used to drink a toast. You are in utter shock and embarrassment.
· “Burn it.”, you state staring into nothingness.
· “What?”, Donnie asks you confused.
· “Just burn it, I’m not putting that thing back in me”, you say as you get up and go to Donnie’s room to crawl under the covers and die of humiliation.
@turtle-babe83 @tmntspidergirl @nittleboo @kokokatsworld @the-second-circle-of-shell
