// Work was so long today lmao. Two more days of 12-hour shifts. Probably only gonna answer asks and quick posts, but I'll get to my longer posts when I'm off Sunday-Wednesday.
This counts for my Astarion blog as well.
Love you all and thanks for sending stuff to my askbox while I work 🥺 it made me so happy to see the times I got to check my phone
Hey, buds, just a little update. I start my official work schedule tomorrow which means that every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I'll be extremely low activity.
My work schedule is Thu, Fri, Sat 6am - 7pm so I won't be home until about 8pm after my shift. Sunday, my activity will vary depending how tired I am from work each week.
A compilation of Astarion's voicelines when he's healing a character with a spell, using the "help" action to free them from an immobilized position, or casting a buffing spell.
Just a sad little thought I got about Astarion's funny running animation
Give, that he is seems to be the only one to run like this, it's his unique thing. So, imagine it's indeed the one vampire spawn thing he does either without thinking or allows himself to do.
He does his best to make himself look and act different from his siblings: he is very thorough about his appearance, he keeps his nails clean, and has never made a mess of himself after his boar hunts.
Meanwhile, when we see Leon and Aurelia, they are absolutely filthy. There is blood on their clothes, in their hair, in their teeth. When they fight, they don't use weapons: they jump, they lunge and claw. Their behavior is almost animalistic.
It was just another Cazador's way to humiliate his spawns: school them around, telling them "not to slouch" or "have respect for themselves", mocking their imperfections, while consciously degrading them by making them feed on rats in front of him, starving them, condemning them to kennels, and saving their "human" appearance only as a mean for luring the victims in.
Astarion tries his hardest not to be that feral monster Cazador was making him into. He uses weapons. He stores blood in jars to make stock for the long road and not be caught with an animal in his teeth. He stays in control of his hunger, never speaking about it, never mentioning it despite it being ever-present, even though using it as an excuse would have placated Tav (in case he gets carried away and drains them dry during the first bite). Despite his vocal appreciation for gore and violence, his vampire spawn part of him is something extremely private, not to be paraded or proudly displayed. His moves when "on the run" are a bit more instinctive and harder to control or manage all the time, as hard to hide or change like his fangs or the scars on his neck. But without the full context, they can be considered eccentric at most. And he would rather be known as eccentric than monstrous.
It's totally deserved that Neil Newbon gets praised for his perfomance as Astarion and for Stephen Rooney to be commended for how he wrote him. Amazing symbiosis between them for sure!
But we absolutely CANNOT forget about whoever designed him, because let's be honest... many people who get into Astarion get into him for his looks first. Then they later on find out about his backstory and watch some clips of him, and become hooked.
The artists and animators absolutely deserve all the love and praise as well.
Thank you to @del-hayelite for informing me that he was modelled by Stephanie!
I mean... look at him. He's probably one of the most attractive characters I have seen in YEARS
The atmosphere was thick with merry that night, the fellow companions circled about the fireplace of Last Light Inn with wine and mead shared between them as they recounted the most glorious aspects of the hard battle won today. They had a right to their joy and festivities, of course, and such indulgences was a natural byproduct of massive adrenaline rushes that resulted in a victory. They could be allowed this.
But even the most victorious of battles had their losses. Even fights won had a mourning weaving through it. Astarion knew this well, he'd spent two-hundred years trying to find pride and joy in whatever small victories he could manage in a life that was pure shit, bile, and pain. He supposed it was nice that his companions were still able to savor such things, to find a silver lining, as the expression went.
Astarion was no stranger to jubilations and, frankly, he sought any reason he could for it ever since he'd been infected with the parasite. Tonight, however, he couldn't find it in himself to join in. Not even for an excuse to drink wine that, thanks to his undead status, tasted of vinegar but still helped him feel alive when it went down his throat burning.
He chose to linger instead at the archway of the door that led outside, ears twitching slightly at the sounds of the others regaling their parts in the battle and laugh, his arms crossed as crimson eyes scanned the horizon of the lands. There was something dense and solemn beneath the surface, something that pulled at him. That something was what made him so reluctant to the festivities to begin with.
He was only mildly surprised to realize that their illustrious leader was not among the party, the very one who constantly led them into these battles and was the main source to their victories.
Sneaking away was hardly any effort when they made merry so very loudly, but the rogue took soft steps in the direction of where they had last set camp and where Nepharia's tent was tucked away. The camp was quiet, looking so abandoned with not a soul in sight. But Astarion knew better, he could smell the scent of her blood faintly in the air. She was here.
He wasn't even sure if she could feel his presence of the sound of footfall when he approached, as she had succumbed to her grief. A grief that was justified as his gaze traced over the gaping wounds left where he knew wings used to be, caked in dried blood - some even still damp near the central tears. The scent was intoxicating for the vampire, to say the least, and it was his body's natural response that his mouth water as he grew nearer and the sweet metallic smell grew stronger. But Astarion had had practice in restraint now, thanks to Nepharia whom he looked down upon and felt nothing but compassionate sorrow for.
A part of her had been taken and a scar would be left to remind her of the freedom robbed from her. He could relate, and muscle memory of the pain of a knife carving into his back made him wince. He was luckier, however, it that he was branded with a scar rather than having had a piece of his flesh torn away and discarded like trash.
He knelt behind her, pausing a moment to decide if he should reach out to her or to speak up. Truthfully, he wasn't very good at comforting others. He and his siblings were not allowed the luxury of showing compassion and softness to one another, and those who dared still try were often mocked and belittled and beaten for their weakness. Yet he felt compelled to, to show her that she wasn't alone in her grief and that there was a soul out there who could possibly understand the grief that overcame her. Without another thought, his body acted, leaning over to place the most tender of kisses to one of the fresh scars upon her back. Nepharia had been the one to teach him such affections.
The way that she recoils and shifts into her disguise is what keeps him from making another move. Simply staying where he was knelt as her observed her, as the quiver in her voice sounded out and made his heart twist. He was familiar with such a reaction, because it was one that he practiced so devotedly himself.
❝ You are still you, Nepharia. You are still strong and capable and fearless, ❞ the vampire finally spoke, his words low and drawn out, ❝ No one can take that from you. Not even that deluded Ketheric Thorm whose very own arrogance now leaves his corpse as food for worms and maggots, no one to mourn him, as he rots while you are here to continue living. To continue thriving. ❞
Astarion doesn't remember this, of course, but he was originally born in Northwest Faerûn and spent a good portion of his first decade growing up in the geographical area around Waterdeep.
This is why his tombstone listed his birth and death years in Northreckoning (NR) rather than Dalereckoning (DR), as he had grown up utilizing NR more predominately.
His family eventually left the area to travel Faerûn, as many Moon Elves tend to prefer the call of a nomadic life, and he ultimately chose to remain in Baldur's Gate alone while the rest of his family moved on.
“ Has anyone ever told you that they are proud of you? Well, let this be your reminder then.
I am proud of you. I see you. I hear you. And I also understand you as a spawn myself. Cazador does not define you. The tadpole does not define you. Those horrid leetle demons in your head do not define you either. You have been suffering and fighting for decades…believe me, I know it gets tiring.
But you are still here. You are still existing. You are still fighting despite all the shit that life has thrown at you — and that takes guts, sweet swan. You are a valiant, resilient warrior with battle scars for days, whether that be mentally or physically. Each wound tells a story and a reminder that you got through that ailment, you can sure as fuck get through the next. And I think that makes you courageous and admirable.
Fuck physical looks. Sure, da, you are attractive and pretty. But I think your soul, however damaged it is, is the most beautiful fucking piece of art I have ever seen. I want to hold my palms to your chest and feel those beautiful emotions your soul projects. I want to look past your skin and hold your spirit. You as a person, a soul, a spirit, and at your very core, are worthy of love.
I am so fucking proud of you, Astarion. And I do not think I will ever not be — not even past my immortality. “
Astarion's brows knit together tightly as he listened, his head cocked as he remained unblinking. He was reluctant to listen to such flowery words because kind words never existed. Not for him. Not unless it came with the expectation of him getting on his back soon after.
He stood there defensively, nose turned up with a small sneer and a hand propped on his hip while the other waved in the air dismissively. He scoffed, even. Yet the fellow spawn continued - resilient and unyielding.
Astarion kept up his air of aloofness, but that mask was beginning to crack as her words wrapped around him. Perhaps it was because she was a fellow spawn that he was more susceptible. That he wanted even more to hear Bethanne out.
Cazador was his bastard vampiric father who only had words of belittlement and contempt. And praises he had to offer were simply praises of narcissism for himself. I have made thee stronger, as strong as I could mine ungrateful whelp. In a strange sense... Beth's words almost felt motherly. A stark contrast to Cazador.
His rough demeanor melted slowly, evident in the way his body language shifted from haughty and disapproving to something softer. Something... sadder?
His narrowed eyes become their more relaxed rounded version, a sheen of wetness glistening below the crimson irises. He had the look of a lost kitten about him.
He had the look of a wounded child that was finally met with a pat on the head instead of a kick to his back.
❝ I... ❞ his gaze flitted elsewhere as he shifted his weight uncomfortably. How was he to respond to this? ❝ ...Thank you. ❞
He would have to sit there in silence for a moment to process these words. To process the fact that someone was proud of him? And, of all people, another vampire. Vampires were the main threat to other vampires. It was as if their inherent nature to break down and destroy one another.
Perhaps that was why Bethanne's words seemed to sink so deeply.
Astarion's admiration for Drizzt Do'Urden isn't just because Drizzt is one of the most famous elves in the realms. It's also because Drizzt's tales are heavily told in Moon Elf society because part of Drizzt Do'Urden's history is tied to a Moon Elf historical figure: Ellifain Tuuserail (male alias Le'lorinel Tel'e'brenequiette).
Astarion can't remember his natural life when he was just a Moon Elf lad or being told these stories as a child, but he does remember the stories. He even builds a little collection of books that focus on Drizzt Do'Urden's tales after the events of the game.
The story of Drizzt Do'Urden and Ellifain Tuuserail goes as such:
On Drizzt's first visit to the surface, he participated in an attack on the surface elves with his fellow Drow. During this experience, he began to realize how vile he found his own kin, and saved the young Ellifain by smearing her with blood from her mother's corpse. Ellifain recalled a different account of events and believed Drizzt to be responsible for her mother's death, hunting him down relentlessly.
Afterward, Ellifain continued living with the elves of the Moonwood, but was scarred by the traumatic event, despite the efforts of clerics and wizards to restore her mental state. When she heard rumors of a drow with lavender eyes who had come to live on the surface, she was consumed with thoughts of revenge. In 1357 DR, she encountered Drizzt as he was traveling through the Moonwood.
She decided to kill Drizzt Do'Urden for what she thought he did. The elves tried to persuade her not to, but her thoughts of revenge were too tempting as she hatched a plan to kill Drizzt. The pair were to meet again in the Moonwood, when Tarathiel and other elves had to hold her back to stop her from attacking. Ellifain later disappeared, traveling to Silverymoon in an effort to hire a swordsman capable of the two-long-weapons fighting style favored by Drizzt whom she could train against.
Ellifain eventually found a swordsman who used two scimitars to practice against, obtained an ensorcelled ring to aid her, and became a follower of Sheila Kree.
This culminated in a final encounter between Drizzt and Ellifain, in which both were mortally wounded. Ellifain died in a pirate cavern believing Drizzt to have also been killed, but Bruenor Battlehammer came to his aid and saved his life.
Later, her spectre was summoned by clerics of King Battlehammer, and she realized the truth only in death, that Drizzt was her savior from the merciless blades of the drow. Drizzt finally released his guilt after Ellifain's soul was summoned and she apologized for her unwarranted hatred of Drizzt.
A secondary reason that Astarion likes Drizzt Do'Urden so much is because he can relate to Drizzt's initial inability to deal with the emotional implications of gaining genuine feelings for someone (for Drizzt it was falling in love with Catti-brie), using sex and sexuality as a tool and unhealthy coping skill (Drizzt's relationship with Dahlia Sin'felle after the death of Catti-brie), and the realization of being used for one's body but being cut off from emotional connection (also Drizzt's relationship with Dahlia Sin'felle).
re headcanon: how do you think Astarion will go about marriage proposal? will he be nervous or smarmy. would he even want to marry at all?
This is going to be a long answer. Also, should note this is of course in reference to non-Ascended Astarion.
Since I headcanon Astarion as a Moon Elf, I think 3e and 3.5e lore on how elves view love, romance, and sexuality is probably pretty close to what Moon Elf culture practices, seeing as they're stated to be rather adventurous and tend not to stay in one place for too long.
3.5e Elves
Reddit Citing 3e
This is also why I headcanon that Astarion is rather open-minded to the idea of Tav taking on another lover or having threesomes/foursomes together.
That said, I think that deep down he prefers monogamy, particularly because he's selfish in the sense he wants to have something of his own that he doesn't have to share. Especially after those 200 years he didn't have himself for himself and the fact he can't recall ever genuinely being loved just for being himself rather than what he can offer.
But so long as Tav reassures him that it won't affect their relationship negatively and he won't be neglected in love, affection, and care, he's not opposed. He trusts Tav enough to be responsible, honest, and communicative.
He also mentions, if you approach him about being with Halsin post-his quest, that while the idea of change has always sort of terrified him because it's an unknown, he's accepted that life happens and if Tav does end up falling for someone else, he's confident he'll eventually be ok because he has himself.
Now to get to the actual question at hand: how would Astarion go about a marriage proposal.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but he wouldn't. At least not in the sense that Humans think of marriage and marriage proposals.
He's definitely read about them in the sappy and smutty romance novels he's read, but he personally doesn't subscribe to the idea that he needs to showcase his true love for his partner like that because his partner would know through actions and words they speak to one another privately exactly how Astarion feels about them.
Astarion would really just start referring to his partner as his Wife/Husband/Spouse one day. And then after that, just start using their surname along with his own like that's what his name has always been.
For example, I ship exclusively with my buddy Vex's Tav OC Annette Harlow (@knivesong). So, in our post-game verse Astarion refers to himself as Astarion Harlow Ancunín as his completely full name. He wasn't asked to and he doesn't just going around announcing it randomly to everyone, but he decided that on his own and tells people when its relevant to do so because that's how he decided he wanted to show Annie's place in his life while still respecting both their individualities and unique personhoods.
I also recently put up a headcanon that elves traditionally wear wedding bands on their right hand, if they choose to wear any at all. I believe Astarion would wear the True Love's Caress ring on his right ring finger. He originally didn't until post-his quest, I imagine, but eventually would have just quietly moved it to that finger of his own accord.
I also recently wrote a headcanon that post-game, rather than claim and move into the Crimson Palace (Szarr Palace), he gets himself a nice spot in Baldur's Gate where he can live in the apartments above his own perfume shop. He would legitimately just assume Tav was going to live with him, at that point, and put in furniture to accommodate both of them and take into consideration Tav's tastes in his decor choices.
All that is basically my long way of saying that Astarion would basically just marry Tav via Common Law Marriage. Basically everyone just recognizes those two as married even if they didn't have some big solemnized ceremony.
Astarion doesn't believe in any of the gods anyway. Acknowledges they all exist, since they literally do and can be physically seen, but he won't worship any of them ever. So he wouldn't really think it's important to have their relationship solemnized by an outside source as long as they both solemnize it via consent and mutual understanding of the perimeters of their relationship.
He doesn't care how others view their relationship because, to him, his relationship with Tav is strictly between them and no one else's business.
Of course, if Tav ever brought up that they actually wanted an official marriage proposal and a legitimate marriage ceremony with all the bells and whistles, he'd be all for it because:
I. It's a reason for him to dress up and be Extra.
II. It would make Tav happy.
In that case, he would be the most Extra of Extra about it. Not nervous because he already knows the answer would be yes, but nervous because he wants to make sure he does it right in a way his partner would be pleased with. He'd make a whole performance out of it and it'd be this massive grand gesture. Mind you, that doesn't mean it'd be this huge public display with like releasing doves and hiring a troupe of bards or anything, but something elegant that feels expensive and intimately grand.
It'd probably be so Extra that Tav would facepalm, but he'd just remind them that they asked for it and he doesn't go halfsies on things like that because he has standards for the both of them.
Astarion actually preferred the bottom bunk in the Spawn dormitories because he could hide things under the bed.
At first, there were no bunks since there were very few of them and one Spawn was always determined the Favored Spawn to reside in the more lavish room. The bunking system wasn’t implemented until the 5th Spawn arrived.
Astarion was lucky, for a time, in not having someone sleep above him because his sisters preferred sharing bunks with each other and Yousen remained Favored. Aurelia and Violet preferred to have a bottom bunk for the same reason as Astarion, and Dalyria opted to sleep above Aurelia.
This changed when Petras became a Spawn and was assigned to sleep above Astarion by their sisters. This is the main source of the two brothers’ antagonistic relationship.
When Leon was turned and became the new Favored Spawn, sending Yousen back to the regular dormitory, the sisters were so exhausted with Astarion and Petras arguing that they assigned the top bunk to Yousen.
This proved even worse, as Yousen personally delighted in finding worse ways to antagonize Astarion to assert his dominance; such as leaving dead animals or even defiling the bed with bodily fluids.
At this time, Petras and Dalyria were bunk mates while Aurelia and Violet were. Aurelia and Violet did not get along in this arrangement, but Dalyria and Petras bonded.
After a decade, the sisters reassigned Petras as Astarion’s bunk mate and Yousen as Violet’s.
Yousen made Violet sleep on the top so he could have the bottom, which she remained bitter about and would frequently find ways to prank him as revenge. Astarion considers it Yousen’s karma for how he tormented Astarion for years.
