author: @obasaolorunfemi

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[extrafemi]

I got featured on the Punch

Sometime ago, someone asked me;

“Is it right for people to report their spouses to religious leaders?

I answered from my point of view as honestly as I could. That answer found its way into the punch newspapers

I would say it is wrong because it opens the door for a third party in the relationship. However, there are situations where it is advisable for a pastor or imam to step in.

Before a pastor or imam would interfere in a marital crisis, it means it is an issue that has been unresolved before then. The question is why were those issues there in the first place and why were they not dealt with.

The second thing is that sometimes people have to involve someone that their husband or wife can listen to. This is where a pastor or imam could come in, but it has to be done carefully.

Read the rest of the article here.

[extrafemi]

Study Abroad Advisory Service for Turkish Republic of North Cyprus (TRNC).

Please read the below carefully

As at 2019, The Island of Cyprus is divided along ethnic lines: The Greek Cypriots in the south (which is internationally recognized as Cyprus and a member of the European Union) and the Turkish Cypriots in the North which is only recognized by Turkey hence the name: Turkish Republic of North Cyprus; TRNC.

Currency: tl; Turkish Lira (1 Turkish Lira = 68 Nigerian Naira) & the Euro. (1 Euro= 410 Nigerian Naira)

Language: Turkish and English

Capital: Lefkosia (pronounced Lefkos-ha)

Visa (if you need one): Turkish visa.

Northern Cyprus universities has good rankings globally starting from 801–1000.

Also, the only way to arrive at this Island is via Turkey. There is no direct flight to and/ or from Ercan (pronounced Er-jan in English) to anywhere in the world. You must stopover at one of the airports in Turkey. For this reason, you are strongly advised to fly only Turkish airlines should you decide to relocate there.

Now, we can proceed….

Documents Required for Admission Application to universities: - WAEC or NECO Results - Degree Certificates - University Transcripts (Some universities may require IELTS, TOFEL, GMAT or GRE). Confirm before you apply.

Here are some universities we can recommend for you;

Cyprus International University

Final International University

Near-east University

Rauf Denktas University

Bahcesehir Cyprus University

Istanbul Sehir Universitesi

Documents Required for Turkish e-Visa:

Requires that one must hold the following:

Valid visa or residence from one of the OECD (except electronic visas) or Schengen countries. i.e. US visa, UK visa and Schengen countries.

Must hold a hotel reservation and adequate financial means (US$ 50 per day).

Flight on Turkish airlines.

Documents Required for Turkish Sticker Visa (printed on the passport):

The details are as follows:

Full name as it appears in your e-passport

Passport No

Purpose of your trip to Turkey

Planned date of travel

Below are the list of documents you are required to provide at the embassy during your interview.

Introduction letter from Employer

6 months Payslips

6 months Bank Statement

Yellow card vaccine

Hotel Reservation

Flight Reservation

Travel insurance

For Self Employed

Introduction letter on Company letter head

Certificate of incorporation

Particulars of Directors

6 months bank statement both company and personal

Yellow card vaccine

Hotel Reservation

Flight Reservation

Travel Insurance.

You will have to go to the Turkish Embassy in Abuja, Nigeria to be interviewed.

Do not allow the immigration to stamp your passport at the airport when you arrive because TRNC is not recognized globally (except in Turkey) and it might become an issue at other airports around the world when you travel. There is a slip of paper you should request and have them stamp it. This slip is important and you must hold on to it till your residence permit is complete. 

Fees (€ = Euro not Pounds) - Okay-to-board (Visa on arrival) Fee (TRNC): €500 - Tuition: €1,000 — €6,000 (Depending on School and Course. Some Schools give scholarships, allow installments and deposits). - Service Charge — €240 (For Admission Processing and Visa Guidance.)

Other things we can help you with:

Accommodation

Flight Booking from Nigeria

Transportation from the airport upon arrival

Getting a job on the Island

Interested? Please send an email to [email protected]

[extrafemi]

Should you only date within your circles?

“So Femi, are you saying ladies should only guys with money or guys who have not yet hammered should only date within their “circles”?

Me: Lol. First off, I dont believe in what we call “date within your league” or “circles”. She might intimate me slightly at first but I have never believed anyone was out of my league. The real Q is whether (she) and I wanted to date each other or not. She doesnt have two heads and we are all children of God las las. Can I get an Amen? 😎

2. I have been told that money = security for women but ladies, do you know who the head of security is? Yep, Jesus. All that salary that is shining in your eyes can disappear in an instant. So thinking that a man can provide and guarantee said security for you (because he has certain leverages/ access/ opportunities) as a lady is a not entirely wise. During our counselling, a couple got separated barely a month after their wedding. Why? Oga lost his job and madam says she cannot marry a man who doesnt have a job. So she packed her bags and left. Point is: a man who can provide for now is good but Jesus is greater. ✌🏾

3. My Egbon; Dr. Ola says this; “when you have your own money as a lady, you suddenly realize that these “rich” guys have nothing to offer you. Having your money in this context doesnt essentially translate to money in the bank. Sometimes “money” = exposure/ mindset/ orientation/ values and sometimes, cash. If you have been exposed, a date to KFC will not mean anything to you or make you order 200 packs for your equally hungry friends back home on the guy’s bill or show up with your friends unannounced on a date or get offended because he dinnor come to pick you in AC car or demand he pay for the date because afterall, he asked you out. Suddenly, the level of play is different.

4. Pray. This is the most important. Yes, we have countless stories of ladies who “supported” their men only for him to turn around and discard them when he made small change/ hammered. This is valid and that is where prayer comes in. Remember the parable of the sower? Some seeds fell on the rocky soil, others on sand but the only ones that grew and multiplied were the ones on the fertile ground. In this context, guys are exactly like that: rocky, sandy, choky, fertile et al. It is prudent to sow your seed/ support a fertile ground and guess how to identify a fertile ground? yep, you pray. Even the sower didnt know which grounds where fertile until it started to grow. Again, please pray.

[extrafemi]

This narrative has to die in the Red Sea.

There is a song by a popular Nigerian artiste whose name will be withheld because it is not important to the point this article tries to make. The song pushes this narrative that we as Kings carry on our shoulder but has to die. You are broke and struggling, things are bad, you can only afford to drink garri once a day for the last 5 years, all you have are dreams and hopes, and then your girlfriend decides to stop believing in your dreams, calls you names, tells you that you would never make it, walks out on the relationship for a guy in a fancy car and smashes your heart in a million pieces. Sounds familiar?

Then this narrative kicks in: “She & all those who didn't believe in you will come and beg for money or other favors you when you eventually make it”. So you begin to work very hard so you can “show them”. 

1. Dear King; this. is. very. unhealthy. Please let that narrative die in the red sea. That you want to “show anybody” is one of the worst reasons to work hard and hammer in this life. The ONLY reason to push yourself hard is: for YOU! Nobody else matters in the scheme of things. Who are you showing sef? Do these people care about you? focus on your life, stay with God and stay in your lane.

2. In the video, after the guy’s “fortunes got turned around”; the lady (now broke) then calls him to beg him for money. In reality, she may never be broke, she may have married/ have a rich sugar daddy, she may have gotten her life together and built a comfortable life for herself. You see why it is useless to succeed just to “show them”? What if after you succeed, your new status doesn't quite reach theirs? Will you kill yourself? Heck, what if they are dead? will you go and dance on the grave? please move on. Life is too short.

3. Guys get triggered when such ladies leave. I have been there several times and I can relate but I am happily married now. Dear King, Let her leave. You really dont need that energy in your life. Plus, if she stays (hoping that your “fortunes eventually turn around”) but they never actually do? What if those fortunes dont turn around to the degree that she wants? Do you want her to nag you and keep comparing you to all the rich guys she could have dated and/or married if she left you then? If after all the pleading, her mind does not change, it will hurt, yes but let her go and double up.

4. One of my favorite quotes is “God is a master of hiding amazing things in plain sight”- Obasa Olorunfemi 2019. It is a tough pill to swallow but one of the ways God hides his sons from bad marriages/ people is to delay this “good fortunes” until later so you are focused as a man. Read about Joseph, Daniel, David et al. Single people do it too, when you eventually marry, you start posting your PDAs everywhere so all of “them” who didnt date you will be pained. 

Remain blessed.

[extrafemi]

Unconcious Bias

Today’s thread on “unconscious bias”: Ever wondered why we say things like “I can never marry a short guy” OR “My spec is team Light skin (laiskeen)” and so on? What is even an unconscious bias?

Because we are human, we are inherently flawed. These flaws come with being biased. So it is safe to say that everyone is biased about something. But there are biases that we are conscious of and there are the unconscious ones. Sometimes these unconscious ones are more powerful than the others.

For example; some people are biased towards “fried plantain”. No matter what your offence is, just buy them plantain and your sins are forgiven. Others? it is chocolate and so on. I know ladies who cannot date you as a guy if you dont buy them food constantly as well as men who can date a lady unless she looks a certain way (another topic for another day).

Now, let’s apply this to partners: Ever wondered why you are drawn to people of a particular height? size? endowments? style? age?

Example: All his life, John’s dad has always praised and exalted fair ladies especially John’s mother who was team light skin. John’s sisters were not as fair as their mother but commanded their own beauties respectively. It is therefore no surprise that when John eventually begins to date, he would be drawn to fair ladies. He may not say it out loud as a requirement but he would always find fair ladies more attractive not because there is anything wrong with other ladies but because of an unconscious bias.

You want to find out where your unconscious bias is? Check your “list” of things you want in a partner. Nobody is born with a dating preference or marriage “list” for a partner or bias whether conscious or not, rather these things are acquired and influenced from parents, siblings, family, friends, church, movies, novels and social media depending on your exposure.

For example, several years ago, I wanted to marry an Irish girl because I read a novel that painted Irish girls as beautiful and very stubborn. Never mind that I had never left Nigeria in my life oh. Such silliness! 🤣🤣

Dear King; “Your spec” doesnt exist. Your “list” doesnt exist. It is merely a list of biases you have accumulated over the years. It is up to you to identify these biases whether conscious or not and either refine them and/or trash them so that they align with your current realities as well as the future you want for yourself.

Growth is waiting. Purpose is waiting. Your future is waiting. The ball is in your court.

Remain blessed.

[extrafemi]

What happens when a founder leaves his company and gets hired elsewhere?

The year was 2018. 

I decided to step out of my role as the CEO/chief strategist at Extrafemi and do something different...get hired elsewhere i.e get a job. Why did I do this? There are a lot of reasons, some of which cannot be disclosed for now. However, it is safe to say I wanted access.

As a creative digital agency, sometimes size plays a role. There are certain projects you do not have access to not because you dont qualify and/or have the required skills to deliver on them but you dont have access either because you are not known within certain networks or your current resource capacity cannot suffice for excellent execution. You need funds from the project to expand your team but you cannot expand your team without funds from more projects- A classic chicken and egg situation. Asides this, I wanted a different experience outside my own company and learn new team cultures. So I downplayed my history, my role, experience et al, pretended to be a newbie and some months, emails and phone calls later in September 2018, I was appointed a senior digital strategist at a creative agency in Lagos. 

“Stay hungry, stay foolish” is a quote by Steve Jobs to highlight how founders need to stay hungry in order to stay in business. I wasn't just hungry, I was starving. This was initially a 90-day “experiment” but then “I blinked” and it turned out to be a 10-month ride. Time flies when you are driven, enjoy your role and hungry. This article is a summary of some of the problems I was able to solve alongside some takeaways:

1. My role came with its own challenges: one of which was drafting, designing and submitting reports every week. What started out as a no-report role moved to a one-four-page-report per month and eventually spiraled into a sometimes 200-pages and total of 13-reports per month. This number spiked to 15 or 20 reports per month sometimes depending on events/ circumstances. All that data helped our clients make better informed decisions across social and digital as a result. 

2. One of my favorite things to do is to draft a social media strategy. My role allowed me to do this across more industries and sectors and for projects quite larger in scale, budgets and size beyond what I had already done at Extrafemi. This was also in line with one of my objectives for the role in the first place. Two major projects I was a part of out of the several we delivered while on this role were the 2019 reports and strategy for our biggest client and one that allowed a client to acquire a million customers in a few months.

3. What is a role without learnings? Because my role was senior, it allowed me to interface with a lot of other roles from copy-writing, design, emailers and so on. Not that I didnt know how to create these things already but there is always something new to learn. Creating newsletters using dream weaver was something I had seen done during my days at a student on scholarship at NIIT but hadn't really learned how it worked until this role. I was also able to polish my design skills even further. Add a truckload of curiosity to my role and you have a situation where I was nearly always busy. Learning/adjusting/volunteering for something/ some project every now and then while improving on existing process.

4. You never really know how you stack up in a different team especially when you are coming in with a lot of drive et al until you are actually in that position. Acquiring a new team culture was also part of my objectives to be fulfilled when taking on the role and I didnt skimp on that as well. 

5. Then I took over the company social media pages, not only scheduling posts for our clients but cranking out content for the agency’s pages everyday. This pushed my copy and content skills to another level. I must admit that this was initially tough but I powered through. 

6. Events.....the sometimes fun part but mostly embarrassing aspect of my role. Embarrassing because sometimes the client team well sometimes weren't always nice. Notwithstanding, it was a great experience at all the events I moderated and covered.

All in all, this was initially a 90-day “experiment” but then “I blinked” and it turned out to be a 10-month ride. By the 10th month, I packed up and said my goodbyes to the team. 

It was time to move on.

[extrafemi]

Niceties

Niceties

Sometimes the journey and the people you travel with are equally as important as the destination itself. These two factors may ruin you and ensure you never arrive at said destination. Some people may even argue that the journey and travel companions are more important than the destination. I think if anything, they are all equal. I think driven, ambitious and destination focused people need to ensure these things align before setting out else its all huffing and puffing and a very fruitless endeavor at the end. Team members have refused to get tasks done because I didn’t say “please” in my emails. I personally cant be bothered whether you say “please”; “Kindly” and similar niceties in something assigned to me or something I have been paid to do. My focus is simply to get the task done regardless of already existing challenges. While I am not justifying that, guess had to do it all by himself? The clients blasted me for poor/ delayed/ zero execution, The senior management (where there was one) also queried me because client was upset and the team members also threw their own tantrums and reactions at me. The job still got done but guess who had to deal with all that drama? guess who got all that query? guess who suffered the most at the end? Guess who had to be sending needless apologies upandan? Yep, me. A part of me still doesn’t see the point but sometimes I choose to play along these days. Choose your journey and your travel companions wisely as you are a long way from home. Remain blessed.

📸: @wakafire.photography

#SteadyGrind.

#Under30CEO

#MyUnder30CEOstory

#LifeLessons

#Entrepreneurship

#Entrepreneurs

[extrafemi]

How Extrafemi helped Tiger Brands-DFM save several marketing dollars.

Lagos, Nigeria 2015.

Tiger Brands with its headquarters in South-Africa was buying up 63.35% of Dangote Flour Mills in Nigeria (Dangote Flour Mills, Dangote Pasta/Noodles, UAC Foods & DELI Foods). Extrafemi was contracted with the objective of positioning the Tiger Brands- DFM (as it was more popularly called then; Now Dangote Flour Mills) as a top employer brand using social media as a tool. After contracts and negotiations were done, our role as a social media agency spanned:

- Graphic design, particularly for social 

- Creating a social media presence for them, creating content, growing and managing it.

- Positioning the Tiger brands as a top employer brand to attract talent.

- Event moderation 

Then we added one more: social listening. P.S: from there on, I will refer to Tiger brands- DFM as “the client”. Since the client didn't have an existing social media presence, we created one on twitter and Instagram, created assets for approval and noticed the first thing wrong with our client.

A Top Employer Brand?

The Client felt that since the objective of the contract was to become a top employer brand, we were to only concern ourselves with one department- Human Resources and so spawned the situation where the head of marketing at the client was not aware of this thing called social media and/or was not taking it into consideration while planning campaigns but more on this later. From our experience handling social media for clients, there is mindset that comes to play when the client feels that the social media agency should concern itself with one thing/ objective and be oblivious to the rest of the organisation. This mistake also repeated itself with another client: the then largest stockbroking company in Nigeria but I digress.

Content

As we progressed with growing and managing the social media accounts, something else was a challenge: content. Managing a social media account requires constant updates and content from the HR department wasn't frequent, more importantly, it was boring. It wasn't long before we started to request more information on marketing activities, branded items and product items for giveaways. This took forever to arrive. 

While we danced tango with the client in a web of approvals and escalations, we noticed something else: After a few weeks of birthing the pages online, there were zero tweets at us for products, complaints, endorsements et al. For an everyday brand with lots of products across several demographics in thousands of households across the country, it was really weird.

Soon, the client wanted to execute a ‘buy one; get one free” campaign where customers would buy one carton of Dangote noodles and get one carton extra for free. They had paid several marketing dollars for billboards, BRT buses and several advertising channels....except social media. We were not even aware.

An Identity crisis

We took a stab at this weird occurrence: how could there not be a single tweet, mention or tag about any of the client’s products? One day, while exchanging ideas at the office, we realized that Mandy Njoku (fictional name) is not quite the same as Njoku Mandy. The identities were not the same. Perhaps our client was suffering from this same challenge? Dangote Noodles was one of the more popular names, perhaps the name TigerBrands- DFM hadnt really caught on?

Social Media Listening- A brand(life)-saver

Using tweetdeck and hootsuite, we setup listening channels for several keywords spanning the client’s previous name, products- for example: Dangote Noodles for example and so on. Within few minutes, we were swamped: complaints upon complaints. Customers were tweeting and asking other people to come pick up their cartons, looking to giveaway their noodles as the product was really bad. This was barely 2 weeks to the start of the campaigns. Clearly, this campaign was doomed to fail and dead on arrival.

We quickly retrieved screenshots of these complaints and forwarded them to the head of HR at the time who called the head of marketing immediately and scheduled a meeting. It was there and then that the campaign was suspended. This feedback was then sent to the product teams to rework the product ahead of a new release.

Extrafemi just saved this client several marketing dollars.

[extrafemi]

Choices and responses.

Today, 8th of August, 2019, there is a drag on twitter (that’s normal these days): an older person said a younger person was too vocal and dragged her for giving life advice. Afterall, she was in secondary school in 2012.

The younger person responded with her achievements, while calling the older one names over and over. I was impressed by her trajectory but disappointed by her manners. In a way, I can understand the headiness and pride that comes with your life being on track and on top of your game especially at a young age. There are so many things in my life that I was the youngest at but I didnt learn humility until my GPA crashed at the university.

While I am not saying either is right or wrong, I am stating that her (the younger lady) way of response was poor, rude and just showed clearly her age. Yes, she currently worked at CNN Africa (which is an enviable job by several standards) but she lacked emotional intelligence, class and basic human respect.

The ideology that “respect begats respect” is a fallacy and pushes the notion that if someone doesnt respect you, you automatically earn the right to be rude to them especially if you are accomplished like our dear aburo. Life comes at you very fast, treat people well, even when you think they dont deserve it.

A good example is Michelle Obama and Donald Trump during the elections. He called her (Michelle) names, Odindin First Last gbogbo United states! Fada Lawd; But Michelle didnt insult him back, or call in him names or list her achievements as a justification to be rude. She simply gave her now popular “When they go low, we go high..” speech.

Soon it will be your turn and you will have to make a choice: to drag someone and win a social media argument, perhaps trend or to be an example.

[extrafemi]

What would be the RoI on a $505 (approx NGN200,000) panties for a lady?

Q: If the above were considered an investment, what would be the RoI?

My answer: RoI = emotional feelings of sexiness + fueled self confidence as a variable that multiplies productivity levels especially at work and sometimes translates to more reveune for said individual.

Ladies would not admit this openly of course but I know how I feel when I am pitching to a client wearing a new shirt. It may not be the same for ladies but in a way, I can relate.

[extrafemi]

How long should you chase the woman of your dreams?

Depending on the exposure and orientation of growing up, we seem to believe that a guy who wants a babe would do everything for her abi? Including chase for months, sometimes years on end just to get her to say yes and she in turn, would do everything to frustrate him to see if he would stay. Its a toxic and very unhealthy cycle, more importantly, a red flag in maturity metrics and a waste of everybody’s time at the end; including the lady.

Dear Kings, chasing a lady for more than 6 months without any sense of direction in all that time is really more of a function of your self esteem than her drama. Think of arriving for a 10am meeting at 9:30am. Then you begin to wait and by 2pm, the meeting still has not held. How do you feel? Most busy people would likely walk away from that point. Others would try and hang on for another 2- 4 hours depending on who they wanted to see and probably how much was at stake. Money brings these things to perspective and sometimes sex (or the idea of it) does the same or does it?

It is clear that whoever invites you for a 10am meeting but doesnt get ready/ show up even by 11am clearly does not respect you or your time. Those who do respect you would either have rescheduled several hours ahead or sent multiple apologies ahead clearly stating their position. This is key in an ecosystem where time equates money. Bringing that standpoint into a courtship scenario; I daresay a lady who make you wait several months (for context; more than 3-6 months) and/or years w/o a clear direction of her position on your proposal is wasting your time and messing with your self esteem.

I know some “defenders” will argue that “what if she is not ready?” This question is in itself the answer: “She isnt ready”. There is no offence there. The fact that she doesnt clearly say so is the indictment of the offence of time wasting and zero respect. Another variation of this Q is: what if she is in-between 2,3,4 or 27 other guys and trying to make a choice? To which I wish her all the best and tell my fellow kings to move on. After-all, she needs a clear head to process such degree of confusion.

Any guy/lady with wisdom would know that one of the first things to do in such matters is to back off all interested parties until clarity gains a foothold. But some people are mean and selfish (especially when there appears to be “incentives” like money). Rather than be honest, they string all said parties along for a ride using various tactics (also known as playing games- another sign of immaturity) and their emotions as collateral damage in such endeavors. Let such people be and move on with a clear head. You need that far more than anything tbh.

Finally, there is the school of thought that says; “if you give him/her on a platter, he/she will not value it.” Then they add some weird quote “men value what they worked hard for”. Who even came up with such nonsense anyway? Men that work hard for 30 days and squander their paycheck on drinks in quilox or something similarly foolish dont value it abi? OR men who are hungry at work and order fast food dont value the food because it came quickly? The reality is that your delaying/ playing games et al has no impact on the quality of the relationship. Plus, you can only play such games to the extent that you havent met your match. Remain blessed.

[extrafemi]

"I was in my house when he asked"- Who pays for dates?

Like most topics where men and women are concerned, paying for dates has been brought to the front burner in recent times. These are some of the excuses I have heard from ladies why they should/ shouldn’t pay for dates (I am not sure why this is even an argument)

1. Ladies say; “whoever asks for the date should pay” which makes sense abi? Well, not exactly. Even with the “shoot-your-shot era” which saw the number of ladies shooting their shots and even proposing increase, the reality is that most ladies will still never ask for a date (because according to them, they are afraid of rejections *rolls eyes*), would rather wait till the guy asks and then use that as an excuse not to pay. Oh and guys, even when she does ask you out, she still expects you to pay. See (3) below.

2. Then there is a the popular line; “I was in my house/ office (insert wherever) when he came to beg me/drag me out so he should pay”. Again, I really dont get it. Were you supposed to be in his house before he asked? Like the initial excuse given above, ladies are most likely not going to be in the guy’s house or even anywhere around him when he asks so guess who pays?

3. “I agree ladies should offer to pay, should leave home with their own money (aka vex money) but a real gentlemen will never allow her to actually pay”. To this, I — lol’ed. Why so many excuses? I agree sometimes a gentleman may decide to cover the bills (I honestly think more gentlemen should refuse to cover these bills tbh) but that is not a excuse for ladies not to cover their bills, even if it is 20–30% of the total. I think that a true gentleman is first financially prudent before wasting his precious resources on dates that may go nowhere as a date really means nothing. Heck, he may not even get a second date. As kids, we all defended why our parents should eat out when they say "there is rice at home". As we grew older and have our own money on the table, our own kids et al, we realize that truly, there is rice at home. Similarly, the reason most ladies are defending this “gentleman” narrative is because their money isn't on the table.   

4. Some men feel emasculated especially if they are insecure when a lady pays. Here, I can feel a lady’s pain particularly as emasculated men dont have a sign-post on their head that says “I am emasculated” so they try to be careful and not step on “fragile egos” before some dude will do a thread on twitter saying “she paid for the date and didnt make him feel like a man” or something similarly foolish. These are the same men who have a sense of entitlement after paying on the date i.e.; I spent XYZ amount and for that reason, we must have sex and insert something ridiculous. These men also worry that if she pays she would lord it over him. Well, well, well, see who finally has a taste of their own medicine? Anyways, while we look for solutions for these men, I implore my sisters to be careful out there. In theory though, paying for your date allows you to spot this emasculation quickly.

5. Ladies go “I cannot respect a man who allows me to pay on a date”. Such silliness! Hanty, keep your respect oh. Its not kuku like your respect will put money in his account or like it can buy Benz. Abeg shift!

6. From a more financially prudent perspective, Google 2018 says average salary in Lagos is $23,745 approx. N8m; I dont need any soothsayer to tell me that this is untrue, loool!). Salary Explorer says salaries in Lagos range between 65,368 NGN per month (minimum salary) to 2,138,541 NGN per month (maximum salary). I think average salary in Lagos is between N50,000 to N150,000 and accounts for 60–80% of salary earners in Lagos (my opinion). Putting together accommodation, feeding, transportation and other personal needs (himself and his parents/siblings), savings and investments, how much is left really to go on dates? Especially one where he would still be required to foot 100% of the bill?

7. A man should pay because he is “the provider”; really? When did men’s names become “Jehovah Jireh”? We are not married yet so this really doesn't apply. If you cannot bring yourself to split payments on a date you both enjoyed, what is the probability that you can split income and expenses after marriage? 

Why I think more ladies should pay for dates?

It removes the sense of entitlement that some men in (4) have and creates some sort of balance should the ladies stop being emotional about issues like this and more realistic.

Like the idea of shooting your shot, it gives ladies a bigger pool to choose from in the search of the life partner.

It removes the worry most guys face about funding dates and eases the conversation into more important topics….like getting to know each other.

It eases out emasculated men especially when ladies paying on dates is now more commonplace.

End.

[extrafemi]

The Intimacy problem.

As your startup grows as a founder, you encounter varying challenges in varying degrees. One of the harder nuts to crack is hiring which has befuddled many founders yet. If you get it right, your startup succeeds and grows, get it wrong and your business pays the price. Sometimes, the challenge in hiring doesn't lie with you or your business. It lies with the applicants-soon-to-be-employees. One of the problems with the category of people is something called “The Intimacy problem”.

The intimacy problem simply means that the moment an employee senses /feels/ thinks/ knows that a senior manager (supervisor, head of department, managing director et al) has gotten/ is getting too close to them, even if it is within the confines of harmless/ cordial office interactions, they will run and by run, I mean resign as fast as they can.

For my case study, I am deliberately using a guy example not because ladies cannot be in the same situation but because it may easily be misconstrued as sexual harassment or over-stepping one’s boundaries.

Case study: Femi got hired at xyz startup. He is a hardworker, goal-getter, always delivers on tasks and he got an all-star rating in his last employee performance review. Femi’s character in the office can best be described “least cordial”. He goes about his tasks as quickly as he can and can spend 6–9 months at the office without necessarily making a single friend. Though he maintains a “good-morning-good-afternoon” kinda interactions at the workplace, he keeps everyone at arms length and maintains an emotional distance. In some cases, he rarely smiles and rarely gets offended. Its mostly impossible to get him offended as he as kept everyone at arms length already so you cant press his buttons.

Femi’s immediate supervisor tries to get to know femi a bit more; (example: birthday, family, harmless team bonding et al), he feels/ thinks his “space” has been compromised or “intimacy” is about to set in and his flight instincts kick in. Then suddenly out of the blue, he is submitting his resignation letter.

How do you handle such people?

Truth be told, It is tricky. Personally, I only got to know about this because I used to have the same issue (I am working on it) and then something exactly similar happened somewhere else. Another person. Another startup. Another time. Then it clicked.

Be sure that the problem is “intimacy” and not some other issue. Else you might be putting round pegs in a square hole.

Give them space. Lots of space. These kind of people are mostly independent, self-driven and somewhat ambitious. If the problem is “intimacy”, then the solution is to do the exact opposite: space.

You could try talking to them or bonding and trying to see things from their perspective. I doubt this would work but its worth trying anyway.

If all fails, let them resign. Smothering them with affection and telling them how much you want them/ love them/ need them may send them running off again. Even if they dont resign at that time, you are merely postponing the inevitable.

[extrafemi]

When Employees turn down opportunities.

Few weeks ago, the GMD of a certain organisation sent a memo to his close to 3000- strong staff an invitation to an “Accelerated Leadership Development Program”….. and those selected will “get a clear shot at becoming business unit heads” aka junior/middle management. (Ordinary shot though, not even guaranteed, lol). One would think at least one person would apply right? Nope. nobody applied. He resent it but still, nobody applied. Some of those at least interested do not qualify for his criteria and those who qualify are not interested. A lot of people say “I am fine where i am”.

This is the same organisation where less than 1% of employees responded to an employee feedback review. Obviously, something does not add up.

This Experience taught me a few things which I thought I would share:

No matter how strong-willed and persistent you are as a CEO, there are some things you cannot simply will into existence. Not everyone would bow to your will no matter how iron clad it is.

If you have a track-record of not treating employees well, don't expect they would rise to the occasion when you need them even if your entire business operation is about to go up in flames.

Notice how the statement is also silent on pay and perks? Not even a 10% increase? Employees can smell loopholes a mile away, they trust themselves (even when the trust is misplaced) far more than they will ever trust you as a business owner. Trust, like respect is earned not given or taken.

In your drive as a business owner, once you throw communication (especially when employees only hear from you or see you when you need something and/or are about to query/ fire someone) and community participation under the bus, get ready to get under the bus too. This is not the military where “divide and conquer” works. In reality, it never does.

In hindsight, Its not that hard to see why nobody applied.

[extrafemi]

Applying for TEF Seed Capital.

I am going to start by saying if you have not heard about the TEF (Tony Elumelu Foundation) by now, you are probably neither Nigerian nor African. If you are, then you must have been sleeping under a rock. Going forward, I will refer to the Tony Elumelu Foundation (formerly Tony Elumelu Entrepreneurship Programme) as TEF.

This post is simply to answer some of the questions I have been asked about the TEF as I am privileged to be part of the class of 2016. In this post, I will mostly be sharing;

My experience signing up and going through the TEF process.

About TEF official and unofficial group forums.

What TEF is and it isnt.

Finally, managing your expectations about the TEF seed capital.

P.S: I am not a TEF staff or a brand ambassador for TEF (though i wish i was). I am an entrepreneur. So here goes:

Applying for TEF...

I first heard about the TEF in 2015 but didn't apply until 2016. When I eventually did apply. I applied my business idea- ChatClass NG. I had been working on it since 2013 and even Hotels.ng boss; Mark Essien had tried to help me with it at some point. S/O to him for his patience and time.

I didnt apply in 2015 for one reason: I said to myself “Shey iru e lonwan be?” (Translation: Is it your type they (TEF) are looking for there?).

But I finally put together my business plan and applied in 2016. The application process was simple and easy. In a couple of hours, I was done.

Lessons. (As I said, i would be sharing lessons as I go on)

I have been asked about my “winning edge” to get in. Unfortunately, i doubt that exists or if it does, I don’t think I have one. Ultimately, it boils down to your application. TEF has an independent screening process (Accenture) for applications and business plans to ensure transparency. So knowing TEF staff personally or sending email means nothing. Your application is basically being judged by people who dont know you, who you dont know and who you may never meet.

While it is okay to ask for help while applying, it is important to do it yourself. Not because TEF might find out if someone else applies for you but hey, its your business. Doesn't it make sense to apply by yourself?

Parmindir Vir shared that a lot of ladies started their applications in the 2015 set and never finished for some reason. Hence the statistics of Female applicants was really poor. TEF followed up with female applicants in 2016 encouraging them to finish their applications and surprisingly, the statistics improved significantly. So this is dedicated to the ladies applying or thinking of applying: PLEASE COMPLETE YOUR APPLICATIONS! PLEASE!!

The fact that I got selected means anyone can get in if you apply but If you dont get in still, pick yourself up and get ready for 2018.

After applying, I waited. Here is some statistics:

Out of the 1000 entrepreneurs to be selected across Africa, 600 will be Nigerians and the remaining 400 will be split across the other 53 countries in Africa. So if you are a Nigerian reading this, good for you.

Of the 1000 businesses to be selected, the largest sector is Agriculture, followed closely by Education (which I am in) and then the others. So if you are in any of them and reading this again, good for you.

In 2015, 20,000 entrepreneurs applied. In 2016, 65,000 entrepreneurs applied. It is estimated that about 85,000 to 100,000 entrepreneurs will apply in 2017. So brace up!

With the growing focus on driving female entrepreneurs especially in Africa, special attention will be paid to female entrepreneurs just like there was in 2016. So if you are a lady reading this, good for you.

After getting selected...

One day, an email arrived from TEF. It contained a video from Mr. Elumelu himself. I nearly deleted it and wondered why TEF would send an email to tell me I had failed to get in, more-so in a video from the Chairman himself. But I watched it and there were the first words i heard: “If you are watching this video, Congratulations you are one of the 1000 entrepreneurs selected this year…..” The email will also be the first of very many emails, webinar invitations, instructions et al from TEF. The list of the winners will also be published on the TEF website.

Lessons.

Sometimes, it is your type they are looking for, lol. Your idea might just be the solution Africa is looking for.

The answer you seek might just be in that next email. Dont be in such a hurry to hit the delete button. Read first.

Yeah, you will be contacted via email. Please close attention to your email.

Attend the webinars. It contains answers to all the questions you will have as you go on.

You will also be assigned a mentor to guide you through a 12-week online bootcamp. Work with him or her (I sent mine a linkedin connection the same day I found out his name) and don’t be worried about getting your ideas stolen (that’s just silly).

It is important to actually do the tasks in the 12-week online bootcamp and even more important to do it yourself. Not because TEF might find out if someone else does it for you but hey, its your business. Doesn’t it make sense to do by yourself? I had a business running, staff to manage, a 9–5 job, was taking an online class from maestro Steve Harris and still did my tasks and assignments myself. I was waking up 3:30am and sleeping 12 midnight. Dont worry about getting stuck, thats why you have a mentor. S/O to Future Software Nigeria Resources Ltd boss, Nkemdilim Uwaje Begho for all her her encouragements during this time.

If you have not registered your business, it is in your best interest to do so and you would be required to submit your CAC documents and open a business account. You can however leave this till the later end of the online bootcamp. 

After the online bootcamp…

After the online bootcamp, we were asked to submit reports, milestones, documents and our business plans. I should confess at this point that I had help with my financials but she and I did it together. The irony here is that the financials got rejected twice during which I was forced to redo myself before it got approved. So again, Ask for help but do it yourself. After I submitted all the required documents, we geared up for the TEF conference in Victoria Island, Lagos.

At the TEF conference….

I should duff my hat to the TEF team for pulling this one off. I am talking about logistics for at least 2000 people (TEF class of 2016- us, TEF class of 2015 who volunteered, TEF staff and other third-party services); yet it was mostly seamless! The meals were amazing, the registration desk seemed to munch up their queues like hungry lions and did I mention the speakers were on point?! Attend sessions, take notes, Ask questions…intelligently. The conference ended with a concert with one of Africa’s finest musicians- P Square. I should admit at this point that I developed a crush on one of the speakers- Somachi. Lord! She slay-ed! I am still not cured but hope she doesnt read this, lol!

Okay! Moving on! Lessons. This isn't a written requirement but NETWORK, NETWORK and just when you think you have done enough, NETWORK some more. The TEF conference has entrepreneurs from all 54 countries in Africa in one place at a time and that is ah-mazing! No, I do not think anyone has ever been able to manage such a feat. By sunday morning, it was all over.

About TEF official and unofficial group forums. A lot of whatsapp and telegram groups will emerge. You should know that none of them are authorized by TEF. The only recognized platform for interaction between TEF entrepreneurs 2015, 2016 and the eventual 2017 is the TEF Hub which you will be sent logins to access.

What TEF fund is and it isnt. What TEF gives is SEED CAPITAL to fund the business plan you submitted. You are not allowed to change your business idea after being funded or transfer the fund to other uses. It is NOT a grant or a “dash money” or a loan. It is also wise not to pay tithe on this money for our brothers and sisters in the lord. lol.

There was a story that was shared with me about some guy who was TEF 2015 alumni, got in and after getting the funds went back to his Job on the pretext of the funds not being enough. That is saddening as he has prevented someone else the opportunity of being funded. TEF will give an initial $5,000 and create the opportunity to request an additional $5,000 if the initial isn’t enough based on certain terms and conditions. There was also a story about some guy in some African country who won funds at some Microsoft business competition used the funds to marry a second wife! lord!

If this is your plan or similar to the above, it is in your best interest not to apply at all.

Finally, managing your expectations about the TEF seed capital. The moment your name is on the TEF 2017 list, you are guaranteed of the initial funds of $5000…well, almost guaranteed. However, TEF will only pay when they are ready. As much as they intend to keep to time and work very hard to ensure funds arrive as scheduled, sometimes, things never go the way we plan. That’s life. The conference was in September 2016 but I didnt get my funds until January 2017. I have friends who have gotten into debt over money they hadn't received or spent all their savings in hope of the funds. I will simply share one lesson about money i learnt from my mother when I was much younger… “Do not spend money you have not yet seen” Until the money enters your account, it is not yet yours and you have not yet seen it.

Are writers eligible to apply? Honestly, I dont not know but better Question: Is it a business? Is it scale-able? will it transform Africa? If yes, then by all means please apply. Oh, and my business? Click here to find out all about it. Got questions I haven’t answered already? please leave a comment.

Be wise and all the best, Femi.

[extrafemi]

#Musing: Perceptions.

Short Story: A friend and I drove to Ikeja to sort out a few things and by the time we were done, the time was 3pm. As my way of appreciating his kind gesture of allowing me use his car, I decided to buy him lunch. We drove to somewhere in GRA, Ikeja, ordered and devoured the meal. After eating, we asked for the bill and the waiter (in his church mind), handed the bill over to my friend. We both laughed and I asked the waiter to pass the bill, he refused saying “chairman go settle” referring to my friend. My friend also asked him to hand it over to me, he still refused. After a while, he finally handed it over, I shook my head, requested the POS and paid. He then started to apologize to me saying “sorry sir”. Me: Yimu.

Another day, I drove my cousin to a wedding. Honestly, I thought it was a waste of my time as I had work to catch up with but my cousin insisted and there isnt much I can deny her (I love her too much). At the reception, the guards (in their church minds), motioned my aunt (my cousin’s mum) saying “your mother and the baby can go in” (since she was carrying a baby), Then my cousin’s cousin; “Your maid can go in” (at this point, I started to laugh), Motioned my cousin, “you can go in, ma” Then motioned towards me; “…but your driver has to stay outside”. (I just burst out laughing). My aunt had to come back and give them a piece of her mind before they allowed me in.

Why don’t I “flaunt” like society asks me to? My reason is simple and i remind myself everyday. Its only the empty barrels that make the most noise and I am not neither will I ever stoop so low to be an empty barrel.

[extrafemi]

#Musing. Character and Startups.

The DNA of a Startup is embedded in the character of its founder. If a founder is resilient, that automatically transmits into the startup. Its all sunny side up if its only his/her positive characters that are transmitted. However, all are transmitted; good, bad and ugly. Great bosses are not great bosses because they run great businesses. They are great bosses because they are first great people before running great businesses.

This is why leadership evaluation is critical as your startup grows. You must learn to keep your bad and ugly traits far from your startup as the future depends on it. The easier way is to kick them out of your life or would you prefer to run from your shadow?

In the book “Midas Touch”, your thumb is represented by the strength of your character. Just as you cannot maintain a powerful grip without your thumb, your business cannot maintain a strong footing without the strength of your character. Your business will only go so far without your character to support it, you might pretend and hide it but it will stick out like a sore thumb.

You may be able to use make-up or great dressing to cover up the flaws on your body but the flaws in your character will be spelt out to the world by your startup. Employees and/or managers have a greater chance of hiding this than business owners.

There is NO hiding place. The world is watching.