i hope nobody is evil
>:)
oh no…
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One Nice Bug Per Day

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@extremeflowersofmoe
i hope nobody is evil
>:)
oh no…
me, 11 chapters deep in a 25 chapter slowburn fic at 2 am, eyes burning and the phone keeps slipping out of my fingers:
i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth
i love this idea that the ancestors are following modern people around like a rappers yes-man as we eat food #‘fucking superb you funky little descendant’
me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please
the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES]
can you believe there is a painting of cossacks going hogwild out there that fits this situation perfectly
I just said “I am Moana from Motunui, you killed my father, prepare to die” and it actually took me a few seconds to realize that’s not right
My name is Inigo Montoya. You will board my boat, sail across the world, and return the heart of Te Fiti.
my name is Moana Montoya, you will board my father, prepare to sail, and die
dirt
mmmm… tasty..
the d in dirt stands for do not eat this please
Maybe all the twentysomethings are obsessed with cartoons because all the “adult” shows show the same traumas, frustrations, and anxieties we already have to deal with 24/7.
Sometimes you just wanna watch a princess of power or a magical alien child do fancy magic stuff in a lower-stakes world where you can be reasonably sure you won’t be subjected to depictions of extreme violence, gore, assault, and sex without warning, ya dig?
It’s true and you should say it
so much adult media likes to pretend hopelessness and pessimism and cynicism are something profound instead of the same depressing nonsense that you can find self-righteous assholes spouting on any given corner of the internet
society acts like we’re supposed to outgrow hope somewhere between sixteen and twenty-two and it’s absolute bullshit
being an adult isn’t about giving up
hold on, let me repeat that
just in case y'all didn’t hear me in the back
being an adult isn’t about giving up
Cinderella “plot holes” I am tired of hearing about
“Why didn’t her step family recognize her?” Because royal balls were basically the candle lit equivalent of clubbing in terms of both lighting and sheer numbers. Even if they were right next to her, they probably wouldn’t get a good look, especially since it would have started after sundown. Also, she was the help; they probably hadn’t looked at her in years.
“Looking for someone based on their shoe size is stupid!” See above.
“Was he going to have every size seven in the kingdom try the slipper on?” Prior to industrialization most garments were made by hand to fit the buyer’s measurements, including shoes. It’s why poor people only had one pair. It’s a lot smarter when you consider that they would’ve fit her like a glove.
“You can’t run down stairs in heels!” I know this is a misconception resulting from historical revisionism and disneyfication, but high heels were not originally women’s shoes. They were worn by men. Women wore slippers, which were basically ballet flats. So it’s debatable.
“Glass shoes don’t make any sense!” Okay first of all, it’s called the suspension of disbelief, and secondly, they’re gold in every other version but Perrault decided to change them to something else expensive.
“She just went to the ball to find a man!” I know this isn’t a plot hole but listen. As the daughter of a widower Cinderella would’ve been running the household finances and acting as hostess if he hadn’t remarried. By demoting Cinderella to a servant, her step-mother essentially guaranteed that she would never escape the house, because the only way for her to escape and maintain her status was to marry well, and no one was going to marry a servant. It was essentially the historical equivalent of your mom stealing your college acceptance letters out of the mailbox.
this was not an analysis i was prepared for, i’ll tell you that
Also, on that last point, getting married was never really Cinderella’s plan from the get-go. Sure, she’s certainly not going to complain about getting a meal-ticket out of her step-mother’s clutches, but that wasn’t her intent.
She just wanted to go to the ball for the sake of going to the ball. She just wanted to do the 1700’s French equivalent of turning up at a party and getting crunked.
The fact that she got a boyf out of the deal was just a bonus.
Cinderella boyf
it be like that sometimes
This is so wholesome
Update: he finally got the cat to the vet to see if she had a microchip
I was already on board with his sweet wholesome open-to-love-and-nurturing heart but I was fully unprepared for getting to that last tweet and seeing how off the hook HOT dude is
https://twitter.com/pariszarcilla?lang=en heres his twitter is here there is also additonal cat photos of his children.
CAT DAD IS BACK
aww, the kids grow up so fast. ;-;
HHHHHHHH I LOVE CAT DAD!
This is, by far, the single most adorable fucking thing I have ever seen.
People don’t know how to write yandere stories and it shows. -_-
I feel so called out
Can I live?
Honestly, me too.
This has the same energy of the dash cam video of the Russian dude just lowering his sun visor to block the light of the exploding meteor thing a couple years back.
Why is this relaxing??????? Why are you relaxed, brain? ItS SOAP.
you’ve gotta stat romanticizing your life. you gotta start believing that your morning commute is cute and fun, that every cup of coffee is the best you’ve ever had, that even the smallest and most mundane things are exciting and new. you have to, because that’s when you start truly living. that’s when you look forward to every day.
live your life like a ghibli movie where literally everything is charming and beautiful
Good advice
“you all are great people, and what you’re doing is art, but it’s also a crime punishable by 28 days in prison” is a real sentence that got said to me tonight by a security officer i think i’m living my best life
this is what was happening if anyone was wondering
Some racist asshole is finding art of Beau on twitter and literally whitewashing them:
they’re really obviously trollin so, just a heads up for anyone else.
Matt Mercer confronted them!!! Super awesome to see him stepping up to protect proper skintone representation in fanart :)
Drag them, Mercer!
@beard-turban
mom: why dont you ever go outside?
me: DA BUGS!! DA BUGS MA!!! !!