April 29th (5 poems: Fight, Lion in a Cage, Based on a True Story, Firefighter, Shark Tank)
(Inspiration: Unsafe houses and people)
I don't want to do no harm / But harm to me always gets done
I don't want to play their games / I just want to have fun
Be a regular fucking kid / A regular no one
Feel like a soldier in a war that doesn't want to hold a gun
I fight to get out the field / That just causes infighting
Monsters want me under a dumpster / I won't accept their ring
Betrothed to multiple someones who are scary beings
Get threatened with knife when I did nothing
I got nothing to share Sir / my body's already been bought
Could only win a couple battles no matter how much I've fought
Make Mr.’s not wanna marry me
But they just find someone else
If I die pray to god I don't come back as myself
They say they wanna listen / Then put my tape on their shelf
Recording when I don't know / Just to mass their wealth
Then everyone who sees thinks I like it like that
Fuck me up at parties / If I fight back I'm wack
Happiness is a destination I want to see
Safety's long gone / So I'm just lonely
Wanna be a stray bitch / But I'm tagged with a fee
Feel like the world's a plantation
What on Earth can set me free?
(Inspiration: Stuck in the Sound)
The only place to cry is on this cage
If you unlock my door / you unlock my rage
Trying to write love letters / but no one's on the same page
I'm just a crying clown working for minimum wage
They tell me not to get a tattoo so I got a tattoo
They tell me not to make out with girls / that's a taboo
Introduce me to molly and lucy / Give me gum to chew
Is this a circus? / a jungle? / a party? / a zoo?
Why try to get out? / Get a tranquilizer / Lips turn blue
I'd rather be in the Saharan / ya
But I'm tied to a chair / ya
In the thunderdome they want me bare / ya
They touch my coat and say they care / ya
But in my mind I'm free to roam
Imagine a nice family and a safe home
I can have what I want without a shark to loan
And if I call for help someone will answer the phone
(Inspiration: My life, movies I watched, coping methods)
Title: Based On A True Story
I hate movies with happy fucking endings
Bad plots / Bad shots / Bad dialogue
I used to own “Requiem For A Dream”
Imagine I was a different character in each scene
And in the end they all end up fucked up
Because that's how my life is: Fucked up
Then I can think about how my life isn't as fucked up as those fiction characters and that makes me feel better somehow.
I watched “Green Card Warrior” the other day
A lot of main characters are fucked up and get fucked up
I imagine if I were Angel / or Jazmine / or Beto or Rosie
Just trying to live my life but still getting fucked up
I watched “Jamesy Boy” too
I imagine if I were James / Tracy / Conrad / Chris
I could never imagine a life like Sarah's
Having a home she didn't want to run away from
Everyone says I'm stupid / or smart / or a smart ass / or only says I'm smart if they want some ass
Everyone thinks I'm full of shit
But if I made a movie about my life they'd probably all shit themselves and run out of the theater
If they do make a movie after I croak
My ghost will laugh / cackle / and puff some smoke
For everyone who whoever thought I was a joke
(Inspiration: Firefighter obstacle course)
Dreams of being a firefighter / Rushing through the course
Smoke in all my lungs / Broodmare / Dark horse
Trying to scream / Falling beams / My throat is coarse
Maybe I can figure out the code / Maybe I'm morse
Dalmatian Boy / Don't call me spot
Embers all in my soul / So my body won't rot
Jump off the roof / Flames want me caught
If the trampoline don't catch me / Forget me not
Lost little boy blue thrown in the tank
No one noticed or cared so his body sank
No diver / No lifeguard / Will give me a rank
Saved him / His daddy called me a Nigger / That shit stank
One little fish had cut my hand
Tossed it to the frenzy / They thought it was grand
Kept my mind of the edge / Pushed the kid to land
Had to throw some life floats so the sharks wouldn't gain on me
Suck and spit the blood outta my hand
Then no one helped me out / Cause I'm a Nigga you see
Looked down saw one coming from under the deep
Pray to the lord that the kid would live
A fucked up life for another that's what I would give
A nazi pulled me out / My skin he couldn't forgive
Then said I threw the kid in / That shit hurt like a shiv