Too Close for Comfort | Osaragi x F!Reader
[Sakamoto Days AU | Slow-burn jealousy | Domestic espionage & meat buns]
You thought grabbing meat buns after a mission would be harmless. You didn’t expect Lu to be so funny. You really didn’t expect Osaragi to tail you from across the street like a jealous crow with sniper vision and unresolved issues.
Now you’re stuck in a car with three assassins, one slightly passive-aggressive snack, and a storm of feelings no one will admit to having—least of all Osaragi.
But when she finally speaks, it’s not bullets she fires—it’s something much scarier:
“You should smile like that with me, sometime.”
3.8k+ words | Angst/Comedy | Emotional constipation (Osaragi flavored)
Osaragi adjusted the focus of the binoculars again. Not that she needed to—she could see just fine—but she wanted an excuse to keep looking. Through the cracked windshield of the beat-up car, parked across the street from Sakamoto’s store, she kept her eyes locked on the sliding glass doors.
Shishiba sat in the driver’s seat, half-asleep, lazily flipping through a convenience store manga. He hadn't spoken in the past ten minutes, which suited Osaragi fine.
What didn’t suit her, though, was you—laughing, again—with that Chinese girl inside the shop.
Lu.
The scene played out like a poorly written soap opera, but with too much meat bun and too much lingering eye contact. You had followed Nagumo in hours ago after your mission, said you’d wait a bit while he caught up with Sakamoto. Osaragi hadn’t thought much of it. She figured you'd stay quiet in a corner like you always did, arms crossed, eyes half-lidded, waiting to be dismissed.
But now? Now you were smiling. You looked like a damn puppy. Tail wagging in spirit. You had something warm in your hands—probably Lu’s famous meat buns—and Lu’s hand was still barely brushing yours, lingering like it meant something. You didn't pull away.
Osaragi blinked. Once. Twice.
Her thumb tightened around the binoculars.
“You’re going to snap that thing in half,” Shishiba muttered without looking up.
“I’m not,” she said flatly, though her fingers twitched again.
He hummed. “You’ve been staring for exactly twenty-seven minutes. What is it, a hostage situation?”
“Worse.”
Another laugh drifted through the glass storefront. You leaned on the counter now, Lu showing you something on her phone. Probably a meme. Maybe a stupid dog video. Your head tipped back as you laughed again—soft and unguarded. Osaragi had never seen you like that. Not with her.
Not even close.
She dropped the binoculars in her lap and crossed her arms, slouching low in the driver seat. A sulk settled over her like a weighted blanket. She hated that feeling in her stomach—cloying and ugly, like she'd swallowed something hot and sour. She wanted to go in there, grab you by the wrist, and—
No. That wasn’t fair. You weren’t hers.
Not yet.
“Whatever. Not like I care,” she mumbled.
Except she did.
Enough to watch your every move from the car like a deranged pigeon with expensive binoculars and a mission.
When the store bell finally chimed and you stepped out, the sun caught your smile first—still chewing, still holding that stupid half-bitten meat bun in your hand like it was some sacred relic. Your head tipped back as you laughed again, Lu following close behind, her shoulder bumping yours with casual familiarity—like the two of you had known each other for years.
Osaragi’s jaw tensed.
She didn’t move as you crossed the street, didn’t uncross her arms, didn’t even blink when the car door creaked open and a wave of humid summer air slipped inside—carrying with it the infuriatingly chipper voice of Nagumo.
“Yooo~ you wouldn’t believe how fast Y/N fell in love with Lu’s cooking,” he announced, flopping into the back seat like he paid rent. He dropped a plastic bag on the floor—Sakamoto’s takeout—and flashed a lazy grin at Shishiba. “Meat buns. For the two grumpy twins up front.”
Osaragi still didn’t look at him. Her jaw tightened further.
Shishiba barely glanced up. “Took your time.”
Nagumo snorted. “Well, I couldn’t just rip them apart, could I?” He leaned in toward your shoulder, voice syrupy with mischief. “They were bonding, right Y/N?”
“Yeah! I hope you guys haven’t been waiting too long,” you said with a sheepish smile as you settled into the middle seat beside Nagumo.
Shishiba grunted something unintelligible and flipped a page.
Osaragi said nothing.
You blinked, sensing the atmosphere shift. “Everything okay?”
She turned her head just enough to look at you, eyes unreadable beneath her bangs.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
You blinked at her tone. “I don’t know. You’re just… staring like you want to kill me.”
“I’m always like this.”
“That’s a lie.”
She didn’t respond, but the slight twitch in her eye betrayed her. You slid into the backseat anyway, the warmth of Lu’s meat bun still lingering in your palm. You bit into it again and sighed, completely unaware of how that sound made Osaragi want to crawl out of the car and throw herself into oncoming traffic.
“You want a bite?” you asked, leaning forward between the seats and nudging the bun slightly in her direction.
Osaragi turned slowly.
“Why would I want your half-eaten, saliva-soaked bun?”
“Because it’s really good?” you offered, grinning.
A silence stretched too long.
Then—
Shishiba closed his manga with a sigh. “For the love of god, just take a bite or shoot her. You’re ruining the air conditioning.”
Nagumo cackled from the back. “Ohhh, she wants to bite, alright. Just not the meat bun.”
“Shut up,” Osaragi and Shishiba said in perfect sync.
You blinked, confused. “Should I be scared or…?”
Osaragi finally snatched the bun from your hand—not looking at you—and took the tiniest bite imaginable. More of a graze than a chew.
You stared, wide-eyed. “You actually—?”
“I didn’t say I wanted it,” she snapped, shoving the bun back at you. “It was falling apart. Structural integrity compromised.”
Shishiba snorted.
Osaragi’s eyes narrowed, her gaze locked on the road now, knuckles pale against the wheel. But you didn’t notice. You were too busy nibbling on the now slightly less structurally sound meat bun, humming at the taste.
“Lu’s really sweet,” you said absentmindedly, eyes on the window. “I thought she’d be more guarded, but she’s funny. She’s got that dry sense of humor. And her cooking’s insane.”
You didn’t see the look Osaragi gave you—quiet, sharp, like a knife under the table.
“Maybe I’ll stop by again sometime,” you continued. “She said she’d teach me how to fold the meat buns properly.”
“She doesn’t even like you that much,” Osaragi snapped.
You froze. “What?”
“She acts like that with everyone. Don’t read into it.”
You sat up a little straighter, voice calm but edged. “I wasn’t reading into it, Osa. And... you didn’t even talk to her, did you? Like properly?”
“She doesn’t need to talk to me for me to know,” Osaragi muttered, eyes on the road. “People like her are easy to figure out.”
You frowned. “That’s kind of harsh.”
“She’s not special.”
“She was nice.”
“She was fake.”
You looked at her. “And what would you know about fake?”
Osaragi’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. The silence that followed was thick—like the inside of a storm cloud.
Nagumo let out a low whistle. “Whew. Okay. That’s enough estrogen for one afternoon. Maybe we all just need to… drink water or touch grass.”
Shishiba muttered, “Or chloroform each other and start over.”
You crossed your arms, annoyed. “I’m not fighting. She’s the one being weirdly possessive.”
“I’m not being possessive,” Osaragi said stiffly. “You can do whatever you want.”
“Clearly not. The moment I do, you start acting like I’ve committed treason.”
“You’re free to embarrass yourself. Don’t let me stop you.”
Your jaw dropped. “What the hell is your problem?”
Osaragi turned, just slightly—her eyes flicked to yours in the rearview mirror, dark and unreadable. “You. You’re the problem.”
The Order’s nondescript black sedan rumbled along a side road lined with stone walls and half-closed shops. Somewhere in the distance, thunder growled. The kind of route they only took after a job—somewhere between civilian roads and shadow operations. Shishiba had flipped open a different manga now. Nagumo was chewing on a lollipop like it might explode. You were staring down at the meat bun like it had betrayed you.
Nagumo patted your shoulder awkwardly, eyes still forward. “For what it’s worth, I think the bun was structurally sound. Like… solid B-plus. Bit of slippage on the edge but solid seal overall.”
You sighed. “Thank you, Nagumo, for introducing me to Sakamoto-san’s family. They were really kind and welcoming.”
Nagumo grinned, lollipop perched in the corner of his mouth like a cigarette. “Lu’s a gem, right? Sakamoto keeps her around 'cause she cooks the best meat buns this side of Tokyo.”
You smiled again, soft and genuine. “I hope I can visit her again soon. I really like her—”
Before the sentence could finish, Osaragi jerked the wheel and made a sharp, unnecessary turn around a corner. The sudden force threw you into the car door, your head lightly thumping against the window.
“Ow—what the hell?”
“My hands might’ve slipped,” Osaragi muttered flatly.
“Use both hands when driving,” Shishiba said without looking up, as though reading from a manual he wrote himself.
You rubbed your temple with a frown. “Seriously, are you mad or something?”
“No,” Osaragi answered far too quickly.
Nagumo snickered in the back. “Don’t take it personally, kid. Osaragi gets like this when someone else pets the dog she secretly claimed ownership over.”
“I said shut up,” Osaragi snapped, shooting him a look through the rearview mirror that could kill.
“You okay?” you asked her quietly, your voice tinged with concern now.
Osaragi didn’t answer at first.
The city lights streamed past her window, flickering over her face like gold dust. She gripped the steering wheel a little too tightly, jaw clenched. For a long moment, the car was silent except for the hum of the engine and the distant click of Shishiba flipping to another manga page.
Then, softly—so soft you almost didn’t catch it—Osaragi muttered, “You smiled a lot back there.”
You blinked. “Huh?”
“With Lu,” she said, still not looking at you. “Didn’t know you had that many teeth.”
You snorted. “Are you saying I shouldn’t be friendly?”
“I’m saying I’ve never seen you laugh like that before.” Her voice was quiet. Almost tired.
You opened your mouth to respond, but the words didn’t come. You looked at her profile—stoic, composed, but something in her eyes twitched, almost imperceptibly. You thought of the way she had taken that tiny bite earlier. Of how she didn’t give the bun back gently, but like it burned her fingers.
Your fingers itched to reach over, to touch her hand on the gearstick. But instead, you said, almost teasing, “What, jealous?”
Osaragi didn’t reply.
The silence returned. Louder now.
Then, just as the car slowed at a red light, she glanced sideways at you. Her voice barely above a whisper.
“You should smile like that with me, sometime.”
The light turned green. The car rolled forward again.
But your heart didn’t.
thank you so much for reading this! if you ever come across the same au on ao3, that’s my account—feel free to drop by and say hi, hahaha. but seriously, if you made it all the way to the end, thank you for taking the time to read this au of mine.
lately, i’ve been completely obsessed with osa and absolutely love her character. i noticed there’s barely any osa x reader aus here on tumblr, so i thought it’d be nice to contribute something for fellow fans—especially the daydreamers and yearners who wonder about all the “what ifs,” haha