¯\_(ツ)_/¯

26. I like dogs and video games.

[only-tiktoks]

[littleguysdaily]

[bowelfly]

Brother Ignatz trying to get out of dish duty by pretending to be a stand of reeds. again.

[bowelfly]

it didn't work

[gostaks]

on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

[btc-official-deactivated2024071]

“why don’t they teleport back” because they’re not on the planet where everyone can teleport anymore. try to keep up dumbass

[retroactivebakeries]

#this feels like a fable that would have some kind of moral but I’m not quite sure what#something about like hard work/effort/the need to be curious idk

the moral of the story is that a breathable atmosphere is important to one’s general well-being

[earhartsease]

the “ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon” is hilarious because it implies that everyone who teleported to the moon lands in exactly the same place which increasingly is “on top of a big pile of corpses” so they must have just enough time to look down and go “ah fuck” before explosive decompression - but it also implies that people generally know there’s an ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon but they still keep trying (that’s what “ever-growing” means) and each one of them has a different ridiculous theory as to why it’s a skill issue so eventually there’s even the corpse of harrison ford there in a refrigerator

[thememedaddy]

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[sioltach]

Your quality of life will increase ten-fold when you learn to appreciate the sight of a little bird

[dumbsuicidalteen]

the fact that i have to be in the “right headspace” to do even the simplest tasks. absolutely humiliating

[dot-0327]

[Repair 100] I got you.

Luckily she knows how to fix things in the middle of Mojave

[dingdongyouarewrong]

just so you know i know this dynamic is toxic and i'm not romanticizing it :/ i'm actually sexualizing it

[charl0ttan]

"you are one of gods strongest soldiers" i say, not even believing in either of those institutions

[justthatspiffy]

oh amen @obesecamels

[batsandboba]

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

[etchetcetera]

If you’re being questioned about a murder by one of those hobbyist detectives. it is an absolute rule that you have to be washing the dishes or pruning some plants while talking, so that when they finally get around to asking a pointed question about where you were at the time of the murder you can freeze for a second with a knife in your hand. It’s enrichment for them you gotta understand. They thrive off of red herrings, it’s their favorite treat, so even if you have a rock solid alibi and weren’t involved with the murder at all you have to give them some reason to be suspicious of you. It’s what friends are for.

[watermotif]

Everything passes

[denkryn]

SILO S1E03 - MACHINES

[eagans]

Jesus, this is actually... good.

[jellogram]

The bimbo feminism girls who love Legally Blonde really missed like the whole point of the movie. The point is that she's not a brainless bimbo. She saves the day with her knowledge of haircare, sure, but she got in the room by going to law school. You cannot reduce that movie down to "Girl knowledge saves the day!" because the perm wouldn't have mattered if she hadn't spent the entire rest of the movie working her ass off in an unrelated field. The feminist angle is that she can have girly interests and also be smart, not that having girly interests is feminist in itself

[jellogram]

I think it's also worth adding that the main reason Elle is so effective is because she's sweet to everyone and finds ways to connect with people. She's not sitting around judging other women for knowing less about beauty than she does. So if you're making tiktoks about being That Girl or snarking at other girls, you did NOT learn your lesson from Elle Woods.

[ahedderick]

Oh, we really can't be keeping THAT gem in the tags.

[nulltwink]

omg hii !!! hi you're home!!! (jerks you off to completion)

[swimminglovernut]

Meh

[nulltwink]

(puts the cum back in you) get out .

[andorology]

brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed

[kestrel-tree]

It's because the writer communicates their feelings for them. If people wanna pull that off in real life they need to hire a guy to walk around behind them narrating.

[bananonbinary]

#can i be the guy#ill narrate SO incorrectly#theyll all learn how to talk for themselves just to shut me up (via @cirrus-grey)

i'm loving the implication that this isn't something they hired you for, but something you'd do as some sort of public service.

[ahedderick]