Summary: Bob has his first solo mission coming up. Leaving the whole team to wonder who is going to volunteer to join him to make sure things go smoothly. You’re avoiding the responsibility because you’re barely able to stay in the same room as him without short circuiting…but when Alexei figures out you have a crush on him he volunteers you to go on the mission with him…what could possibly go wrong.
Word Count: 6.5k
Warnings: UHHHH maybe spoilers for Thunderbolts* (it's set after though so not really). Description of gunshot wound - blood and blood loss. Use of (Y/N).
A/N: I'M A LITTLE RUSTY. But Thunderbolts* has slingshot me back to the Avengers tower fic 2012 era and I just needed to write for Bob…I love him too much. I have more planned for this - just know this is a warm up fic (ignore that its 6.5k words)…okay ENJOY.
You had a serious problem.
Scratch that - you had two serious problems.
The first one being your ever growing, debilitating crush on your teammate Bob.
The second one being a certain someone that was currently staring you right in the face.
“You like Bob!”
Framing your face with your hands, you let out a long sigh as you try and curl in on yourself. You’re only halfway successful, anymore and you would have fallen off your stool. And you really didn't want to give Alexei ammunition for this barrage of embarrassment.
“No…no you completely misheard me…” You groaned, leaning your head onto the cool island counter.
You could not believe that you had let it slip. You had been so careful. It was easy at first, when you first met it had been in an incinerator meant to kill all of you so your main priority was to live. Not to swoon over the cute puppy eyed guy who made your heart leap in your chest when he kept introducing himself and trying his best to be helpful despite obviously not really having a clue what was going on. There was no need to address whatever spark you had felt in those few seconds when you and the rest of the team were trying to make it out of the O.X.E facility…alive. But then he proceeded to - at least what it looked like at the time - sacrifice himself so you and Yelena, Ava, and Walker could get away.
How could you not fall for the guy?
“Ah Ah Ah! I have good ears, I heard correctly! You said you liked him too much to be given individual assignment with him.”
“I don't think that's what I said.”
“No, I quote directly.”
“Ahhh Im not -”
“No, yes that is exactly how you said. Verbatim.”
The both of you stared at each other, having a sort of battle of wills. You stared down Alexei with an ever growing blush creeping up from your neck to your cheeks whilst he stared directly back, a growing smile and similar blush of satisfaction rouging his cheeks.
Taking a beat, you met his eye before feeling your shoulders fall. There was no point in denying it.
“Fine…yes I like Bob.”
“YES!! I KNEW IT!” He cheered as he shot his arms up into the air, a laugh erupting from him as he jumped around.
“Hey! Hey!! Can you keep it down!? I do not need the whole tower knowing.” You whisper yell, shaking your hands at him.
“Oh yes! Yes yes…shhhhh. Quiet.” He put a finger on his lips as he smiled at you.
There was a second where Alexei just stared at you smiling. He had this proud look on his face as he walked around the counter island and sat next to you. His hand came to rest on your back as he watched you stare off ahead, seemingly preparing for whatever he was going to say next.
“Why have you not confessed to him? You both would make such beautiful couple.”
This got a quick chuckle as you ran a hand over your face.
You wished it was that simple. You really did. Then the aching in your chest could finally be alleviated every time he walked into a room. You would actually be able to focus on whatever assignment you were given instead of focusing on what it would feel to be able to hold his hand.
By the gods you were down bad for Robert Reynolds.
“I-It's not that simple Alexei. I'd rather not ruin…the team dynamic.” You mutter, beginning to pick at the skin around your nails.
He hummed next to you and you knew he didn't believe one word you had said. You knew he could read into people more than he let on. You supposed that was part of his charm, part of his dynamic in this odd found family unit. There had been plenty of times you had seen him giving a dad-ly speech to whoever needed it at the moment. Right now just happened to be your turn.
“I think you are scared to confront what is in your heart.” He reached forward, resting his finger right above your heart. The moment was sincere…for only a second.
Clapping both hands onto your shoulder, he smiles as he stands.
“But I am not! I shall help you confess your undying love for Bob! A love like this should not be hidden.”
A cold chill ran up your spine as you quickly stood, watching as he began his leave of the kitchen.
“No Alexei, that really isn't necessary!”
“It is no trouble! I will be best wingman! You’ll see! You won’t regret!”
“Won't regret what?”
Both of your heads whipped towards the entrance to the kitchen, seeing Walker standing there in his training gear. He had a towel wrapped around his neck, but no visible sweat to soak it up. Either he was headed there now or attempting to show off how not tired he was. You were not in the mood to decipher or feed into his ego right now.
Alexei coughed loudly, holding out his hands to you with a smile.
“Our dearest (Y/N) here has agreed to go on Bob’s first solo mission with him!”
Going still, you watch as Alexei gives you a big smile. Walker looks between the two of you before letting out a big sigh and swinging open the fridge door.
“Thank God! Honestly I didn’t think I would have the patience to deal with him.” He laughed as he proceeded to look between the two of you, taking a rather large bite of an apple as his gaze stayed on you.
“You’re up for the challenge right? Cause I don’t think anyone else is…”
With a roll of your eyes, you gave Alexei a quick glare. All he did in return was give you two thumbs up while patting Walker on the shoulder. The super soldier stumbled a little, choking on air as he branched himself on the counter.
“Of course they are! This will be walk in the park!”
──── ✦ ────
It should be criminal, requiring a mission briefing this early in the morning.
Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you stumbled towards the conference room with a huff. You weren’t entirely sure why Bucky felt it was necessary to meet so early. Maybe it was the soldier in him. You remember some off handed conversation from a while ago about it setting the day off on a good routine. Personally you were more than okay with starting the day off by sleeping in a little longer.
Pushing open the door, you sighed as you took a look around the room.
Since it was the meeting regarding Bob’s first mission, you knew most of the team would be there to discuss. It was a big step for him, and even if everyone didn't want to say it out right, they all wanted him to succeed.
Bucky and Yelena stood side by side going over the documents, no doubt plotting the best route for success. Ava was being Ava meaning she was doing her usual brooding in the corner going through what was no doubt her fourth cup of coffee. You couldn’t imagine how tired she was having to be up this early whilst simultaneously keeping her physical body in check.
Before you could see where the rest of the team had decided to perch up, Alexei was in front of you with a folder and a cup of coffee. You gave him a once over before slowly taking both.
If you had been more awake, you would have been able to see what was coming next.
“Good morning! How you sleep? Good? Great! Here, let me sit you down so you can be ready for mission brief.”
Putting a hand on your back, Alexei took your arm and led you over to a pulled out chair. You could tell he had used some of his super soldier strength to sit you down and push your chair in, you had to steady your arm to keep your cup from spilling.
Suddenly he was on the other side of you, one had on your shoulder as he looked back and forth from you and…someone else.
“You both should discuss mission! Would be good preparation.”
When Alexei pulled back, with a very strong slap to your shoulder, you finally saw who was in the other chair.
Bob sat there, rubbing his shoulder with a wince. He looked just as awake as you, with his hair tousled and clothes still wrinkled from sleep. When Bob met your eye you watched as he swallowed and gave you a small wave. You felt your heart skip in your chest as he gave you a small dopey smile.
“Goodmorning.”
You were too busy trying to catch your breath to see Alexei tip toeing away with the biggest grin on his face.
“Morning…How are you feeling about all of this?” Clearing your throat, your eyes flicker over him.
He shuffled in his seat, straightening his shirt as he reached and played with the corner of the document. It didn’t even look creased, he hadn’t even looked at the assignment. Probably out of fear, in truth you had been too nervous to open it as well. Whatever lay in that envelope would determine the course of Bob’s heroic career.
“Nervous…I know everyone will be watching…waiting for me to ‘void’ out or whatever…”
You felt your hand twitch in your lap as you reached to take hold of his shoulder. He turned towards you with a look of curiosity. “Don’t worry. Whatever happens I'm sure you’ll do great.”
Reaching for the document, you cleared your throat. “Plus, I’ll be there to help you out.”
“Wait, really?”
Taking a quick look over at him, he was giving you such a hopeful look. He straightened up a little, leaning forward on his elbows as he looked at you.
“Y-Yea…I v-”
“They so valiantly said they wanted to be one to go on mission with you!”
If you could disappear right now at this very moment you would. Just poof out of existence the minute Alexei opened his mouth. Both you and Bob winced, before looking forward. He stood there next to Yelena with a big smile while everyone else in the room looked a little flustered by his sudden outburst. Walker even chuckled as he brought his cup up to his lips, before a heavy hand slapped him on the back making him choke.
“They will make a great team won’t they?” Alexei smiled, giving you a not so subtle wink.
Walker rolled his shoulders back, cracking his neck as he reached to pat off whatever coffee had spilled on him.
“Yeah sure, whatever you say…”
Looking over at Bob, you were sure the both of you were a violent shade of red. You gave him a short smile which he reciprocated as you two both sat up just a little straighter.
“Alright everyone, we’re already behind schedule so if we can get started.”
──── ✦ ────
It was a simple recon mission.
The two of you were gonna infiltrate a classified mountain base, copy and wipe their hard drives, then get out without them even knowing you were there.
It was specified that you would do most of the heavy lifting. Your background in covert operations would be the main asset to this mission. You would get yourself and Bob into the building, then hack the system and make sure every nook and cranny was scraped then trashed. Avoid interaction at all cost.
Bob was there mostly for muscle.
And to watch you work.
That was the part that made you nervous. The rest you could do with your eyes closed, and a hand tied behind your back without breaking a sweat. But the thought of Bob watching your every move made your hand twitch.
The both of you stood at the edge of the jet’s drop off. You were hovering there, waiting for the open window to drop down.
This was Bob’s first test and would kick start the mission. He was supposed to get the two of you down safely and without alarm.
“How’re you feeling Bob?” Fixing a strap on your suit you finally looked up to meet his eye.
“Fine…Yea y’know just the first time I'm using my powers since I nearly wiped out all of New York…so a walk in the park really.” He was flexing his hands at his sides, like he was trying to get a grip on the reality of the situation.
You let him breathe there for a second, giving him enough time to catch his bearings. But not enough time where he could possibly spiral.
“If I’m not worried you shouldn’t be worried. This mission is just meant to test the waters…we’ll be in and out.”
Turning his head to look right at you, he swallowed hard. “I just don’t want to hurt you if anything goes wrong…”
A chill ran up your spine. You weren’t sure how to respond to that. Anything you could say got caught in your throat, choking you on your own desperation. Hearing those words was something that you didn’t know you needed, it set something ablaze in your chest. You were clawing at anything inside of you to respond, to get him to say anything else. To not let this moment slip by, even if it wasn’t the most appropriate time to.
If you could just get the words out, you could tell him there was absolutely nothing he could do that could hurt you. That even though he was the god amongst men, you were devout only to him.
When your lips finally parted, when you felt your confessional finally reach the tip of your tongue the plane jolted. You couldn’t react in time, your feet catching on the other as you reached for anything to steady yourself. It felt like practically the whole plane turned at a sharp 90 degree angle, before you could steady yourself something else did.
Bob wrapped his arm around your waist, steadying the both of you.You squeezed your eyes shut waiting for an impact that never came. The air around you felt like a shield as he held the two of you there, holding just a few inches above the air. His hands gripped onto you tightly, like if he let you go the floor would fall out from beneath.
When you opened your eyes again, he was staring down at you with a golden gaze. One arm stayed wrapped around your waist as the other came to hold your face. His touch felt like fire on your skin, holding your attention on him. If you tore your eyes away it felt like you were to commit a sin.
“SORRY! TURBULENCE! EVERYTHING OKAY BACK THERE?”
His eyes snuffed out as he looked over to Alexei in confusion then back to you. You couldn’t help but notice that he had yet to let you go as the both of you touched back down.
“But we’re not moving?”
With a sigh you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Yea I don’t…I don’t know what to tell you. Let’s just get ready to drop.”
──── ✦ ────
Everything was going fine until it wasn't.
Which is usually the case for missions that seem like they were going to be a breeze, but you just wished it wouldn’t happen on this mission.
Bob was able to land the both of you on top of the building, near the entry point mapped out in the briefing. Breaking in was a breeze, especially since Bob was able to just force open any lock that gave you trouble. The two of you walked in sync, your footsteps becoming one as you turned each corner with your head on a swivel. There was a lot of security here, and people practically at each bend.
But with bated breaths and practiced steps you were able to get to the command center without incident.
You had only been in there for a few minutes when Bob came up beside you, watching as your fingers began to fly across the keyboard.
“So…what are you doing exactly?” He leaned in close, his shoulder touching yours as you typed.
You faltered for a second, your brain short circuiting at the contact. His breath fanned over your neck as he looked over your shoulder, beaconing your pulse to quicken. You took a second to take a deep breath and close your eyes, willing your heart to slow down. He was too close for you to not be able to hide how shaky your hands became, to hear how loud your heart beat for him.
“I-I'm just bypassing any security measures they have in place. That way when I begin the download nothing corrupts the hard drive. Right now I'm sorta just on the surface level of their database, trying to reprogram all security clearance through my own user so I don't set off any alarms within their system.”
He hummed next to you putting his knuckle on his lip like he understood. But you saw a familiar glaze run over his eyes, the one that people got when something went completely over their head. Sometimes you forgot that Bob was a civilian before all of this…
Slowing your typing, you threw up what you were doing on the big monitor. Nudging him with your elbow you pointed to where your cursor was.
“Since we want to get everything off their computers without letting them know we’re even here…I'm rerouting every employee login and account through one. Mine. That way no matter how high the clearance of any specific file I'll be able to grab it up without their system knowing any wiser.”
“What’re you gonna do after that?”
Pressing a few more keys, a progress bar came up on the screen, read at twenty-three percent uploaded.
“Well while we wait for everything to download, I need to install some sort of malware. Something that’ll delete everything including any trace that we were even here.”
“So what am I here for?”
“In case anything goes wrong, you’ll be my golden guardian and punch a way out. Think you can do that?” You smile, trying to lighten the mood as you pull up the surrounding camera feed.
He gives you that same smile, the one that makes your heart drop into your stomach as he rocks back and forth on his heels. “Don’t worry. I've got your back.”
Giving him a once over, you gestured at the screen. “Y’know I could teach you this stuff…it's really not that hard once you get the hang of it.”
He looked at you like you had hung the world. You watched as his eyes flickered gold for just a moment as he processed what you had said. Turning back to your typing you tried not to give it away that that single look made you want to never break away with him again, you wanted to covet every iteration of his attention that you could hold.
“It’d be nice to have someone else on the team that knows this stuff.”
“Does Yelena not know how to do this?”
“Who do you think gives Yelena and the rest of the team the thumb drives that does all of the work for them?
This gets a laugh from him, one that makes your ears burn as you continue to type.
“That would be cool, I'll definitely take you up on that after we get back.”
“It's a date.” The words slipped out in just that order before you could reel them in. A chill went down your spine as you realized what you had just said.
You could tell that you had taken Bob by surprise when you said that. His shoulders squared and rolled back ever so slightly as he straightened to look at you. He was still nervously pulling at his fingers but you had captured his attention.
You opened your mouth to say more - when suddenly the room was shaded in red.
The both of you turned to the screen and saw a large flashing warning screen piercing your eyes. You reached up to shield them as one of your hands went to type on the keypad.
“ALERT ALERT. UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS AT TERMINAL 3-2-4-8!”
“Fuck.” You whispered, your fingers beginning to make dents in the keyboard with how hard you were typing.
“What's happening!?” Bob yelled, covering his ears.
You weren’t completely locked out yet. This was merely a scare tactic. They had realized where you were accessing the system but hadn’t been able to locate which string of commands was yours. The progress bar showed you were at eighty-three percent.
You just needed a little more time.
“They found out we’re here. I should still be able to get everything downloaded but I just need a little more time.”
Pulling open one of your pouches you pulled out a small SD card. You really didn’t want to upload the malware while you were still scrapping all the information but you couldn’t afford to wait any longer. You’d just have to hope that you could download the last seventeen percent before the virus infected everything in the facility.
Looking up you see Bob standing there like a deer in headlights. The red light seemingly being a personification of his anxiety, it painted every crease of fear on his face.
“Bob! BOB! I need you to reinforce the door.”
He shook his head, as if he was shaking all the anxieties out of his thoughts. “Right! Yup! On it!”
It took just a beat for the two of you to jump back into action. You quickly began stripping the terminal internally while Bob ran to pin the door closed. You were racing against your own software as you watched the malware start to eat up the server you were on. The screen started to glitch as you continued to type.
“Fuck…FUCK! C’mon.”
Looking up, you saw Bob pushing multiple desks in front of the door. He was stacking them atop one another, creating a mountain of protection to keep any of them from getting in. Bob let out a huff as he leaned against the pile.
“That should hold them. Hows it coming on your end?”
“Just…Give me a few more seconds…”
Right when the progression bar reached one hundred percent you ripped it out of the computer and held it up.
“I GOT IT!”
You should have known that this would be when shit hit the fan.
You were only able to see Bob give you a strained smile and thumbs up before the windows to the office exploded with gunfire.
Glass flew in every direction, cascading over the desks as you dropped to your knees behind them. Covering your head you let out a scream as you tucked under the desk.
You heard Bob call out your name above the gunfire, a blur coming into view as he kneeled in front of you.
“Are you okay?!”
“Oh y’know never better! Getting shot at is my favorite way to end a mission!” You yell, giving a thumbs up as you slid the hard drive into one of your belt pockets.
You weren’t prepared for this to happen. It was supposed to be a covert mission, they weren’t supposed to know you were here. You didn’t have any bulletproof anything on, you didn’t have any exit gear or counter measures you could use at your disposal…You were totally exposed.
Closing your eyes, you winced as you continued hearing the bullets rain down around you. You tried to make sense of every different sound coming from around you, from the metal banging on the reinforced door to the smell of smoke and gunpowder coming from the other side of the room. There were two loud bangs that erupted from behind, making you curl further into yourself. The room had surged into chaos around you, a chaos you weren’t able to escape it seemed like.
Then you felt a tender touch on your wrist, pulling it away from your ear. Slowly looking over you saw Bob now haloed by a light behind him.
“Hey! Hey! I think I found a way out. There's a door in the back. We just need to make a break for it.”
Even under a hail of bullets, Bob still managed to halt your every action with one gesture. He held his hand out for you, waiting with an expected gaze.
“C’mon…”
When your hands locked together, Bob quickly pulled you out from under the table. He whipped you around to shield you from the bullets, tucking your head into his chest as he curled around you. You watched as the bullets just bounced off of him, landing just a few inches away from you. He didn’t even seem bothered by all the commotion like he was a few seconds ago, you could tell now his main concern was making sure you got out safe.
There was a pause, when the muzzle flares stopped and the sound of clips dropping filled the air.
“They’re reloading…Bob they’re reloading…GO NOW!”
The both of you started running, your feet pounding hard on the ground as Bob led you to the door. It felt like your two hands were more than interwoven. It was like they were sealed by the very grooves in your palms, fusing into one pulse. You could practically feel how hard his heart was pounding, it got louder and louder the closer you got to the door. Like it was telling you that you were almost out of harm's way.
If you could have just made it through that door without incident…
The door was bolted shut, that much was evident when it didn’t move an inch despite Bob’s pulling on the handle. His one hand remained with you, while the other smacked the door.
He was too stressed to even think about using his powers…
“Bob…Bob just breathe! Focus on pushing the door open. That's all you need to do!”
You felt a twitch in your ears when the familiar sounds of chambers being loaded ricocheted off the walls of the office. Turning your head back, you swallowed when the men that were behind the windows had seemingly disappeared, but you could hear the squeak of their boots. They were moving into a better position, a better vantage point that gave them a better angle on the two of you.
When Bob looked back to give you a triumphant opened mouth smile, a burning sensation erupted through your side. You felt confused at first, a grimace making its way on your face as a searing pain shot up through your nerves.
The air around you turned stale when you pulled back the hand you had placed on your side, and it was coated in your blood.
You were bleeding. You were bleeding from a wound that suddenly felt like a red hot rod was slowly making its way through your side.
You tried to catch your breath as you looked up at Bob, who had gone pale. His eyes were trained not on you but on your hand and your wound. They flickered between the two quickly, before slowly making their way up to meet your eye.
“Bob…Did I just get shot?” Your voice barely peaked above a quivering whisper as the pain reached your knees, making your joints buckle under the pressure of the pain…how fast it was coming on.
You braced yourself in his arms as he caught you, pulling you through the doorway as the sound of gunfire erupted in your ears once more. Had the pain amplified everything else? Those gunshots were not nearly as loud as they were last time they shot at you. You winced as one hand kept pressure on where you assumed the wound was, while the other cradled your head.
Bob quickly sealed the door shut, rushing over to your side. One of his hands came to press on the hand that held your wound, while the other cupped your face. Just like on the plane, his thumb stroked under your eye. The moment he held you, you forgot all about the pain that was tearing through your muscles.
“Hey…Hey…You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be alright…It's not even that bad really…” Bob kept muttering as he kneeled above you.
When he pulled his hand away from your cheek you were reminded of the pain again. You groaned as the pain made you writhe up into a hunched sitting position. Both hands now rested on the wound, as you looked around with squinted eyes.
Your mind was trying to recall the building schematics from the mission briefing…the rooftop access that led to a maze of hallways where the end goal was the office. Everytime your mind was about to remember the multiple routines planned for your exit a gush of blood would spill between your fingers.
“I can see those gears turning in your head. C’mon (Y/N)...Once you get us out of here you’re gonna be right as rain.”
When he was right in front of you again, placing both of his hands on either side of your face it all came rushing back to you.
The door was right in the back of the office…to the left of the door you both came in…so if you were right this hallway was headed in the south west direction of the building. It would just be a maze after that…a maze you knew neither of you could navigate together given current circumstances.
“Okay Bob…I'm gonna pack and dress my wound while you…break a hole through the ceiling.”
It was like he short circuited. His eyes widened then squinted as he tilted his head and licked his lips. It almost looked like he wasn’t fully computing what you had just said, which drew a pained chuckle from you.
“Are you sure you haven’t lost too much blood? Do you know where we are right now? Quick, without thinking what year is it?”
You gave him a shove as you began to pull gauze and medical tape from a pouch to your right. The bleeding had slowed but that didn’t mean much to you given that the pain had made your entire side go numb now…
“Im serious…Im probably gonna pass out within the next three minutes and the emergency evac won’t get there before that. So our next best option is for you to fly us out of here and to the evac point instead of trying to be covert and manage your way through this maze of a building.”
“Wait, you're gonna pass out before they get here?!” He whipped around, watching as you wrapped the tape around the gauze and your waist.
“My body is going into shock…” You mutter, your fingers beginning to tingle as you stumbled down onto your knees.
“Fuck…Okay…J-Just give me a second!”
Bob quickly flew away from you, giving you quite literally only a second to press the panic button on your suit before he was in front of you again. There was a breeze that wafted through the hallway now, calming you ever so slightly as you let out a shaky breath.
“C’mere…” Holding out his arms, he motioned for you to come closer.
Slowly, you moved into Bob’s space. He reached forward slowly, pulling you into him. Letting him move your arms to wrap around his neck, he reached to hold onto your back before hooking his arm under your knees. You kept your eyes shut as you felt him tighten his hold on you, followed by a gushing of wind.
You knew exactly what was happening, and you did not trust yourself to open your eyes.
“DO NOT DROP ME BOB!”
You felt a chuckle rumble through his chest as the two of you came to a stop. The air around you held you close, brushing against your cheek as you dared to peel it off of Bob’s chest.
“I told you I’ve got your back. Everything is going to be just fine.”
Peaking one eye open, you saw him smile down at you. You let out a breathy chuckle as you felt him tug you even closer - if that was even possible.
──── ✦ ────
Something was pinning your arm down.
You were hyper aware of how your entire body felt right now, especially your side…where you were shot was sore but no longer on fire. You were tucked into what felt like a starched hospital bed. But you couldn’t make sense of why your left arm felt like it was pinned down by some weights. Nothing had happened to it to your knowledge.
Slowly you peeled your eyes open, smacking your lips together. After you managed to pull whatever was pinning your arm down off of you you’d need to get a glass of water.
When you finally managed to turn your head, you saw Bob. To be more specific Bob was sleeping atop your arm, his body steadily rising and falling as he was practically hanging off the side of your bed.
Everything about the end of the mission was coming back to you now. How you put your life in Bob’s hands as he got the both of you out of harm's way and home. A small smile made its way on your lips as you adjusted ever so slightly. As much as you liked looking at him like this, you really wanted your arm back.
He must have sensed that you had woken up, because before you could peel him off your arm he lifted his head up. Your breath got caught in your throat as the both of you just stared at each other.
Bob immediately shot up, the chair he was (barely) sitting on screeching back into the wall. “You’re awake! H-How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”
You laughed as you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, seeing Bob freeze as he waited for something to go wrong.
“Water…” You rasped, coughing into the back of your hand.
A bottle of water made it into your hand in record time, with Bob holding the back of it as he opened the bottle for you. With a slow swallow, you hummed as Bob put the lid back on and moved it over to the bedside table.
“How long have I been out?”
He slowly pulled the chair back up to the edge of your bed, sitting right beside you as he rolled his shoulders back.
“About eighteen hours. We got back at around three am, they rushed you to surgery after that. Said you were lucky that it went clean through.”
You nodded, glancing down at the edge of the bed he was sat at. He was picking at the skin around his finger nails, eyes not meeting yours as he recalled what happened with precision. Like it had been running through his head the entire time you were out. There was no doubt in your mind that this entire time that he was waiting for you to wake up his anxieties were eating him alive…
Your fingers twitched in your lap as you took a second to compose yourself before slowly sliding your hand into his. The warmth of your palm seeped into his as the two of you just sat there in silence, neither of you looking directly at each other but rather at the grip of your palms together.
You broke the silence first, your voice cutting through the tension. “You did a really good job Bob.”
“Ahhh, It was all thanks to your calm head. You really were the reason why everything went smoothly.” He muttered, his thumb running across your knuckles.
“Bob you’re the whole reason why I got out of there in one piece you know that right? You’re also the reason why we were able to get in and out without incident.” You lean your head down to try and catch his eye.
“Without incident.” He scoffs, looking to the side. But he didn’t let go of your hand, if anything his grip got tighter.
“Bob…I hope you know that wasn’t your fault. Everything was going smoothly up until that millisecond where they got the jump on us. Did you forget you literally shielded me from a barrage of bullets seconds earlier? I was watching them just bounce off you with awe.” You chuckle.
He took a second to process what you said, his eyes staying on your hand before finally making their way up to yours. When his eyes met yours his sweet smile finally graced his lips again, making your cheeks go hot.
“Y’know that still shocks me that I can do that…”
“Dude I wish I was bulletproof! Would save me so much time honestly.”
This gets a laugh from him as he sits up straighter, running a hand through his hair as he looks at you with such a devoted look. “Says the expert hacker. Which reminds me, you promised me some hacking lessons when we got back.”
“If I remember correctly I believe I called it a date…” You paused for just a second, a warmth exploding in your chest as a foreign confidence found its way into your veins.
The blush that had been painting your cheeks everytime you found yourself in a room with Bob seemed to spread to him as he smiled at you. Or maybe he always had that rouge on his cheeks as you were just never able to see it past the burning of your own.
When he opened his mouth to respond, another voice shook the walls.
“FINALLY! YOU AGREE TO GO ON DATE! I HAVE WING MANED SUCCESSFULLY!”
Alexei stood there with his arms high up in the air, laughing as he looked between the two of you. He clapped his hands together before holding them out to bask at the two of you. Both you and Bob just sat there in shock, waiting for the cheerful Russian to reach a normal volume.
When he noticed that the two of you were both blushed deer in headlights left to his jests, he went stiff as he raised his hands in surrender. “Do not mind me. Go back to your confessions of feelings. I will be down the hall…Glad to see you are awake and well.”
If he could have left a puff of smoke shaped like him in his wake as he ran away, you were sure that's what you would be staring at now instead of an empty doorway.
There was a beat of silence, as both you and Bob slowly turned to look at eachother again. But instead of an awkward tension he only gave you a shy smile as his other hand reached to rub the back of his neck…with his other still holding yours.
cant get over the fact that yelena was struggling with her "light" throughout the beginning of the movie - trying to find her purpose and reason to keep going
and while shes struggling to find said light - she finds this guy (bob) struggling with his own inner darkness reflecting her own. shes pushed together with this group of misfits that no one wants and when she starts to lead them/find purpose with them, even alexei can see this and comments thats shes begun to shine brighter.
later when bob is overtaken by his darkness, shutting himself in and thinking that theres no way out of the darkness there she is with a pull towards the light offered to him (you can even see it in how the scene is set up - his side of the screen is clouded and darkness and theres a halo of light surrounding and backlighting her)
she pulls him out, showing him that even when you have dark days you can rely on the people around you to pull you out. just like she had (even if she didnt realize). she showed him that you dont have to struggle alone.
you can have dark days - but as long as that light never gets overshadowed you too will make it through.
i love this movie so much and i love the themes in it cant you tell
I don’t have a deep plot but I do have an idea. What if reader takes the place of Jace and flies to encourage Cregan like in the recent episode and he’s mesmerized by her beauty? 👀 Something along those lines — feel free to add or change it! ☺️ Thanks!
Snowflakes, Stolen Looks, and Beating Hearts
(Cregan Stark x Strong!Reader)
Summary: When you are sent with your brother Jacaerys to meet up with the Lord in the North, Cregan Stark, some feeling being to make the both of you light headed and forget just exactly what duty calls from the both of you.
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: MAYBE POSSIBLE SPOILER ISH FOR EP 1. Yearning, possible OOC for Cregan (love does things to a man can you blame him??), Use of (Y/N)
A/N: This took…too long to write. I wanted to make this a yearning lovesick-y fic of Cregan that I have been DYING for and kept mulling over all the details. BUT ALAS it is here, I hope it filled your request and you all enjoy!!
You never thought that you would see snow.
You always wished to see it, having heard of its beauty. Ice falling from the sky in beautifully small flakes that seemed to be sewn together by the gods.
Looking at the palm of your hand, you smiled as you studied the pattern of the snowflake. Its exquisite beauty only lasting mere seconds as it began to melt into the valleys of your skin. A small frown made its way in place of your smile as you temporarily mourned the flake, before you wiped your hand on your cloak.
To think this place was blanketed in such beauty for the entire year.
Just ahead, Jace took a glance over his shoulder as he stared at the spectacle that was you. You stood next to your dragon, still as ever letting the snow collect on your hair and shoulders. You looked statue-esque as you continued to catch snowflakes, admiring them before they met their inevitable fate. Lost in your own world as you took a moment to forget about everything that had been plaguing you for the past few months.
He wished he could do the same, even for just a moment. Arriving at Winterfell, had him feeling on edge. For his whole life Jacaerys had protected you, feeling it was his duty to make sure nothing ever hurt you. The both of you, him being the first son of Queen Rhaenyra and you the first and only daughter, had grown up to know the true meaning of duty. This alone had bonded the two of you practically to the hip, it did not matter that you were older than him.
Looking back at you, he smiled as he saw how much snow had collected on your hair…people could mistake you for a “true” Targaryen…
That alone reminded him of the reason they were there.
“(Y/N)...c’mon we mustn't be even more late than we already are to meet with Lord Stark. Nightfall will be upon us yet…”
He watched as you finally looked up from the palm of your hand and sighed. Shaking the snow off of your head and shoulders, you rushed to meet his pace.
“I must say, I quite like this cold. It's much better than the humidity we face on Dragonstone.”
This earned a chuckle from Jacaerys. “Is that what you think of now? Not what to say to Lord Stark? What words to sew together to ensure he is our ally?”
“I do not need to take such action. Diplomacy comes easy to me. Besides, the Starks are known to be loyal to a fault.”
That much was true. Jace wasn’t entirely sure why he felt such anxiety with this meeting. It could have been that the simple act of ensuring allyship meant that war was truly upon your house. Or perhaps it could have simply just been that he did not wish to look a fool aside you as you expertly made your way through conversation with Lord Stark despite this being your first meeting. Since the both of you were small you had a knack for persuading people with your words. The Silver Tongued Dragon, you had been known as not long after this talent was found out.
Yes, he had nothing to fear. This would all go smoothly.
“Lord Stark, Prince Jacaeyrs Velaryon and Princess (Y/N) Velaryon of House Velaryon have arrived.”
Cregan nodded to the squire, straightening his cloak as he strapped Ice to his back.
This meeting in particular was one he was not too entirely worried about. House Stark had bent the knee to King Visery’s when he named his daughter as heir to the iron throne. This matter had been in the back of Cregan’s mind, with many more pressing matters being his top priority. He supposed that is why he often did not make the best first impressions, as his priorities were not that of the common list that many found themselves concerned with. He did not take an immediate interest in the pursuit of heirs or of ensuring that the house had a formidable reputation. Duty was his priority.
This meeting was a matter of formality to him. To ensure that he would stand behind Queen Rhanerya and support her in whatever way he could, without crippling the defenses on the Wall.
His hands reached back to tie his hair halfway up, his eyes focusing on the black ice of the steps. As his fingers struggled to snap the band around, he finally looked up to meet the faces of the two young dragons.
When his eyes met yours, everything seemed to stop.
It was as if the snows knew to freeze this moment over, so he could have the chance to meet your eye.
Cregan Stark had heard of the beauty of the old Valyria. He listened to the stories men shared of the silver haired house that brought out the darkest of temptations of man. How their men and women held a grace about them that had wives and husbands lust for just the touch of their hand on theirs.
As he looked at you, he felt that those stories were watered down backswill of a drunkard. There was not a word within the all known language of the Seven Kingdoms that could describe what he felt in this moment as he had the fortune to lay his eye upon you. He felt his grip on the banister tighten as he took in the sight of you. You, who looked up at him with the most mesmerizing beautiful eyes that only looked at him.
It wasn't until he saw the rise and fall of your own chest did he remember to breathe.
“Lord Stark, It's an honor to make your acquaintance.”
Looking over at your brother, Cregan cleared his throat as he made his way down the stairs to properly shake his hand.
“The honor is all mine, to host the both of you here. My apologies for the weather, but it is the North.”
His accent stuck out to you. On Dragonstone and even throughout the Keep, when you had stayed there once upon a time, people often shrouded themselves in uppity falsehoods. Either to seem as if they were meant to truly walk amongst you, or to be someone entirely different from whence they came. It was part of the reason why you were so glad to have fled to Dragonstone, there were not as many falsehoods there.
So to see Cregan Stark have no fear in brandishing his weaponry, and speak to you in the laced tongue of the North was refreshing. You were drawn to the way he felt as if the niceties of royalty were second thought. As if the both of you could afford to toss aside pleasantries. It made you smile.
There was something else to be said about the Northerner. Just the way he stood before the both of you alone was enough action to intrigue you.
“Lady Velaryon, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
When his hand enveloped yours, you felt your breath catch in your throat. His eyes did not leave yours, as he lifted your knuckles to his lips.
“I wish it under other circumstances, Lord Stark.”
Giving him a small smile, the two of you stood there eye in eye. He had yet to let go of your hand as the two of you held each other there. When you stood this close to him you were able to get a better look at the man they had named Wolf of the North. Cregan Stark stood before you, dressed in fur and leather, bowing as he held your hand. You couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter as he held your eye. A flurry of grey and blue looked at you, purely you, and you couldn't help but feel as if that's all he wanted to do. Just as you stood there now, feeling consumed by the eye of the storm and wanting nothing more but to throw yourself to the whims of the winds.
“Lord Stark, Is there somewhere more private we could discuss?”
Feeling the hot stare of Jacaerys gaze on you, you regrettably took your hand from Cregan’s grasp. The imprint of his warmth on your skin remained, even through the leather, making you bring your hand to your chest as you bowed your head to him quickly.
Clearing his throat, Cregan looked at Jacaerys with a nod before motioning to the large metal lift.
“ ‘Course, let us talk atop the Wall.”
Jacaery’s held your eye for a moment as the both of you followed the Wolf. His eyes held a question within them as the two of you silently spoke. He had watched that whole scene unfold, having been a bystander to the tension that grew with every second that Cregan held your gaze. You simply rolled your eyes as you shoved him before following the Northerner into the metal cage.
Closing your eyes, you froze for a moment to feel the northern winds run through your hair and cloak. Snowflakes found themselves resting on you again, drawn to the warmth that ran through your Targaryen blood. As the lift brought you higher and higher into the sky, level with where you flew your dragon, it almost felt as if the air in your lungs crystallized.
“So tell me Lord Stark, What is this that falls from the sky and shivers my bones? Is it not still summer throughout the isles of the Seven Kingdoms?”
Cregan was so lost in his jealousy of the snowflakes that rested upon your skin that he almost didn't hear you speak. It wasn't until you had opened your eyes and looked at him through your lashes did he realize you had addressed him.
“This is only a late summer snow, my princess. In the true winter it will cover all you see, any memories you hold of warmth will be forgotten.”
“Sounds..hauntingly beautiful. Whilst this is my first time seeing snow it is my understanding that this is not the first time our ancestors have met here to treat? If I am correct it was the…Conqueror and the King in the North?”
Jacaerys felt a relief fall over his shoulders as he heard you expertly laced the matter at hand into conversation. His eyes landed on Cregan as he watched the man hang onto every word you spoke. Not once had he looked at Jacaerys after the three of you stepped into the lift. His eyes never left you even before you spoke. He would like to think that it was because of the presence and attention you demanded. He had seen it many a time before, people could not look away from you whenever you entered a room, and their fates were often sealed after you had started to speak.
But, something else lay within his gaze. Jacaerys had seen that look before. The look of total awe and devotion to the other.
It was the same exact look he gave Baela.
“Surely the great Torrhen Stark would have sooner died than bent the knee. Unless of course he believed the Conqueror could bring unity to the Seven Kingdoms?”
Cregan looked over to Jacaerys with a sigh. This meeting was meant for diplomacy, he had to remind himself of this as he looked to the Prince. He felt a crease grow within his brow as the three of you walked throughout the icy walkways of the top of the wall.
When your hand reached to hold his arm, he felt a fire light in his chest at your touch alone. It was as if you took all his pain and worry, forbidding it from plaguing him. When he took the opportunity to look over at you, he felt the ice in his veins thaw.
“What my brother is getting at, Lord Stark, is that there is a threat upon the unity to the Seven Kingdoms. One that would tear the realm apart if the men and women who swore an oath to our grandfather do not remember who the rightful heir is. You understand our concerns do you not?”
“Starks do not forget their oaths, my princess…”
Looking at your hand placed on the crook of his elbow, he swallowed as he rested his hand atop yours.
“Can we depend on your men if the time comes that the Hightowers declare war upon our mother’s claim to the throne?”
Looking at Jacaerys, Cregan swallowed. He should not have felt torn, but he did. He needed his men here, to defend the wall from that which dared to plague Westeros. There were forces that lay in wait, that threatened the sanctity of not only the North but the South as well. He did not wish for his duty to falter in this dire time of need. But he had seen the worry in your eye. He knew that you were dependent on the power of the North if your mother’s throne, if you family was meant to remain the next in line. Another part of him wanted to promise whatever he could, whatever you needed just at the drop of the word.
“You must understand my hesitation, my Prince. Whilst I wish for nothing more than to offer you the whole of which the North has to offer, I must keep my army here to defend the Wall. Do you think my ancestors built a seven hundred foot wall to keep out snow and savages?”
As the three of you approached a divet within the wall, all of a sudden a very overwhelming dread filled your stomach. Looking over the edge, you saw nothing but a vast forest, covered in snow. But for some reason, the dragon within you faltered. Every sense you had was screaming at you to back away from the ledge that you took further steps towards.
“What does it keep out?” Jace asked, as he felt his heart fall in his chest at the sight of you taking a closer step to the edge of the Wall.
“Death.”
You took a moment to look over your shoulder at Cregan once hearing the declaration. You had heard stories about the meeting place that took place here. How when King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne stood in your very spot, their dragons refused to cross the threshold. It made your stomach drop just at the idea of there being something more beyond the wall. That was a thought for another time however.
Both Jace and Cregan watched as you stood still as a statue once more, looking over the land of the North.
“I understand your hesitation to pull your men from the Wall, Lord Stark. It is quite the responsibility you have here,” Taking a step back, you swallowed as you smoothed your hair back. Jace offered you a hand to steady yourself as you took a few steps back from the edge.
“All we ask is that you provide whatever you can when the time comes. In return I personally can promise you’ll have mine when needed.”
Cregan sighed as he looked between the Wall and you. That alone had just sealed his fate, that he truely would give you whatever you needed, especially now knowing that you felt a duty to protect what was his as well. He could see it in your eyes when you looked over that edge. You believe his tales of things that lurked in the dark, just as he believed you when it came to the vile words of treachery.
The both of you would need the other soon enough yet.
“I can offer you thousands of greybeards. They have seen far too many winters, having grown a distaste for the cold. Their skills are well honed, and they can be ready to fight at a moment's notice. They will fight hard for you, like Northerners.”
There was a visible tension that dropped from the both of your and Jace’s shoulders after his words. Your brother rested his hand on your shoulder as you clasped your hands together in front of you. Jace then reached forward to shake Cregan’s hand with both of his.
“Thank you Lord Stark. Your promises will not be forgotten.”
Finding your way beside the both of them, you clapped your hand on both their shoulders with a beaming smile.
“Lets celebrate shall we?”
-
He couldn't take his eyes off you.
You sat across the table, the warmth of the candle light that lit up the meeting hall suiting itself well on your cheeks. You had settled in well at the opposite head of the table, chatting with other Northern women. You were content, from as well as he could tell.
His eyes hadn’t left you since the minute you found yourself in his halls, drinking his wine and eating his food. There was something that stirred in the pits of his stomach as he…provided for you. In the ways of war and also in the niceties of comfort. You had taken well to both, and he planned to bathe in your presence for as long as he could before you took your inevitable departure.
After that he wasn’t sure he would see you again ever.
While he should have been fine with that, as he had told himself a multitude of times that courting and the ways of society were well beyond his interests, something made him sick at the idea of letting you just slip away because of some silly notions he had been telling himself. You had bewitched him at first glance, and as he had taken in more of your presence throughout the day he could rightfully say that you had taken up a space in his mind if not in its entirety.
His hand gripped his chin tighter at these thoughts alone.
“Lord Stark…”
Shaking his head, he looked over to see your brother standing beside him.
“My prince, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
Jace motioned to the chair besides Cregan, sitting down as the Lord motioned him. Taking one last look at you, as you laughed aloud at whatever the person holding your attention had said, he figured he could spare a moment of his attention being somewhere else.
“I just wanted to come by and thank you once again for pledging your support. I know it was not your responsibility to ease my anxieties but you did anyway, and I am grateful for it.”
He gave a curt smile to the prince, turning his body to face him to ensure that he was indeed involved in whatever conversation Jacaerys had meant to begin. However that could not be further from the truth as his mind began to wander.
“A Stark never forgets their oath. I would not be the man I am today had I intended to ever break it. “
“I figured as much. My sister said quite the same thing when we arrived, she being the more faithful one.”
Cregan smiled at the comment, taking another look over to you. You were alone in thought now, whoever you were speaking with having taken your attention for granted no doubt and departing to enjoy the festivities that were about. You were looking out the window, taking in the snow of the North like you had been earlier that day.
“She the smarter of the two of you hmm?” He quipped, smirking as he watched Jace chuckle to himself.
“She is the smartest out of all my siblings I would say. (Y/N) has always been a good judge of character, I don’t think I have ever seen her put her trust into someone who didn’t deserve it.”
His heart jumped at the words Jace bestowed upon him. Somehow knowing that you trusted him, that he was one of the few that could claim to have earned your admiration even within just a few words made him feel stronger in a sense. Is this what men talked about, when they said that the affection of a woman made them feel as if they could move the hills? If this is how he felt just at the mention of your trusting him, he couldn’t help but ponder on how he would feel from being the object of your affections.
“I think that might be one of the main reasons why she hasn’t been courted.”
Cregan froze, feeling himself look over at you once again. For some reason the thought did not run through his mind that your hand could have already been called for. It stirred something in him, knowing that your name was still Velaryon.
Your seat was empty when Cregan looked over again. He saw your silhouette turn the corner quickly, vanishing in a flurry of red and black.
“Enjoy the rest of the meal my prince.” Cregan laid his hand on Jace’s shoulder before making his exit in the same direction that you had.
Jace smiled to himself as he watched the man quickly follow your footsteps with haste, his cloak making a rather dramatic arch at the turn.
There you stood, looking into the sky. You looked as if you were infatuated by the moon herself, lit up only by her beam as snowflakes flitted around you. If it was possible for you to look anymore ethereal Cregan would become devote. You were cast in a halo of moonlight, so entranced that it almost made him guilty for interrupting such an intimate moment.
Looking over your shoulder, he swallowed whatever nerves he was feeling so he could actually have the opportunity to talk with you. But then you smiled at him, and he felt himself grow weak. Part of him wanted to fight against this foreign feeling, the other wanted to bask in it.
“Lord Stark, I hope my leaving didn’t come off as rude. I wanted to enjoy the cold for just a little longer.”
“Not at all. I’m glad you have taken such an interest in what others would consider harsh.”
This got a small hum from you as you held your gloved hand out. “How one could consider this harsh is beyond me.”
Cregan chuckled to himself as he came to stand next to you, watching as you studied the snowflake in your palm.
“Winter is not often kind. The cold and ice have a tendency to turn those away, since it takes so much and gives so little.”
“Fire does the same, yet people hold it in such a high regard. People should do the same with snow.”
Cregan hung onto every word you said, taking this private moment deep within. Hearing you speak so poetically, especially when the topic was anything other than the purpose of which you came. To get a glimpse into who you were, to know the person that was you made him think of a million other questions to ask just to fill out every step it took to understanding you.
He watched you closely as you brought your hand down, and held your arms when you looked up. The cloak you had dawned earlier was nowhere in sight, and if he could recall it had been left behind on your chair in the haste of leaving the room. Cregan was quick to remove his own fur lined cloak, and drape it across your shoulders. It swallowed you, enveloping you in the lingering warmth that was him.
“Thank you, you did not have to.”
“What type of a host would I be if I let you freeze?”
You laughed at his comment, a full laugh, and placed your hand on his bicep. It was still cold, from catching snowflakes, but it warmed him none the less.
“Plus, it looks better on you. The North suits you.”
A flash of blush rested on your cheeks at the comment, and made you tighten the grip on his cloak.
“Thank you, Lord Stark. I do have to say of all the places I’ve been I think I have enjoyed my time here the most.”
With a nod, he clasped his hands behind his back before leaning a little closer to whisper to you.
“Well I hope then that the next time you are here I can show you all that Winterfell has to offer..that is if there is a next time?”
You both had turned to face each other now, your hand still holding his arm as you looked up and only him now. He looked at you the same way the moon did, and you basked in the warmth of him in the same way.
Reaching forward, his hand came to hold a bit of your bang before wiping the snow from it and tucking it behind your ear. His hand came to rest on your cheek, holding the side of your face as the both of you were able to finally really look at each other without the wandering eye of anyone else.
He took his time committing your face to memory, just in case this was truly the last time he would see you. Cregan wanted to make sure his dreams were able to replicate the image of you.
You stood there, doing the same. You were surrounded by him entirely, in scent and sight. This entire afternoon when he wasn’t looking at you, you were looking at him. You could feel this back and forth game of cat and mouse that had played out, but there was a nagging reminder of everything that lead to this meeting and everything that waited after it.
Perhaps you could take this night to bask in something that wasn’t duty.
“I could entertain the thought, only if you could make the trip worthwhile.”
This earned a laugh from the northerner as he looked at you, and his thumb ran under your eye. The feeling off his touch had you feeling drunk off his attention. Oh you were absolutely certain if anyone had seen the two of you in this exact moment there would be many an accusation.
“Oh? And how exactly would I do that my princess?” He mused, looking at you tenderly
Reaching to hold the wrist of the hand that held you, you stroked his wrist and hummed.
“Give me a reason to come back, Cregan Stark. A reason that isn't just snow, or the cold. Something that is more than the North. More than duty.”
He stood there, just staring back into your eyes as he thought of the declaration. To give you a true and proper reason to ride all the way back here, where he was nothing but duty and sacrifice. To give you a part of him that was something else completely. You asked this of him as if it was the easiest thing he could sacrifice in order to see you again.
It should have been a hard request to fill. A question that should have left him tormented when giving the answer.
But somehow his answer was sealed the minute you stepped into view.
“Me…Come back for me.”
In the silent moment between the two of you, all that could be heard was the howl of the wind and the beating of your hearts as they became forever joined with just a touch.
I loved Temptations of the Wolf. Like, how you wrote Cregans and the readers yearning is just 10/10.
What I wanted to ask you tho is do you write smut? I don’t want to overstep any of your boundaries when I request something.
Hi!! Im so glad you liked Temptations!! It makes me really happy to hear 🥹.
I do write smut. Angst is just my favorite to write so thats usually what I write. Also dont worry about overstepping boundaries! If I dont feel comfortable writing something I will just pass over it.
But thank you for having the decency to ask!! Very sweet of you.
Summary: Being a Targaryen meant sacrifice. Being a Stark meant sacrifice. Both these houses know the service of duty well. But when war is amiss, and two leaders of these respective houses meet to discuss allegiance, feelings for one another bubble to the surface and get in the way. Oh how the winds of war turn would be lover on would be lover.
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: MAYBE POSSIBLE SPOILER ISH FOR EP 1. Angst, Foribbiden-ish Love, Use of (Y/N), proof read only by author.
A/N: I AM A HOTD TV SHOW PERSON ONLY!!! I did research on wikis to try and write Cregan correctly, however I am but a simple man that writes fanfiction, so mischaracterization isn't totally unavoidable. ENJOY!
A dragon does not get cold.
A dragon does not feel the cold as they have fire brewing under their scales, penetrating not only their bones but also their soul. The soul of a dragon is a fiercely burning one, said to run so hot that their touch alone melts the thickest of ice.
(Y/N) Targaryen knew of this fire better than any dragon. Or that is what the people of King’s Landing had quickly grown to best know them by. Growing up within the tense house of Targaryen, especially during war times, justly called for you to have more than just a spine of a predator.
To survive amongst dragons, you must be able to breathe their fire.
Making every other tense occasion feel as though you were walking on air.
Perhaps there was another reason as to why you felt no fear as you flew North. A reason that bore the Stark symbol.
That is why, as Polarxes rode through the winter chill, with the wind daring to snip at your skin you felt calm. At peace almost, even as the great Wall came into view.
It was realized that in order to keep the throne that was meant to stay in the hands of your brother Aegon, relations had to be made. Families and Houses had bent the knee for King Visery’s heir not long ago, and it was soon made apparent that your family would have to make the same bend the knee again for Aegon. Just to make sure that loyalties lied with the correct Targaryen.
Whilst you particularly did not care for such politics, or politics in general, your mother had other plans. Seeing as you and Aemond stood as…the most intimidating of the family it was an easy decision to send the both of you out to ensure alliances were made and pacts bonded.
You knew that the decision to send you to the Wall was laced with more than just truce in mind. Your mother was a cunning woman, and recalled the times that whenever the Starks came to make your acquaintance you favored the nip of the cold family over the burning of the dragon pit. The touch of their ice, and the gaze of one particular wolf.
As your dragon landed, her talons digging in to break, you took a moment to yourself to feel the snowflakes rest on your warm cheeks and melt into the white of your roots. The cold felt nice on your skin that had grown used to the humidity of King’s Landing. To feel at ease in your skin, to have even the opportunity to cool off was an unknown blessing of this trip.
“I hope the ride here was not too tiresome for your dragon here, the winds can be quite hard in preparation for the change of season.”
Looking down at the boy, who looked no older than four and ten years of age, you smiled as you slid off your dragon with ease. She shook her head in response, her ivory scales offering her a sort of camouflage to the elements around her as she settled down. The heat of her breath alone melted whatever ice laid around her, the rest becoming swept up as her wings folded in.
Whilst you looked at her with admiration, you could tell that this was the first dragon the boy had ever seen. It was a mix of awe and fear that flooded his eyes, which you did not doubt also kept him frozen still in fear of her eating him to remain warm.
“Do not worry about her, she is not the dragon that will eat you alive should you make one wrong move.”
A wolf does not get cold.
A wolf does feel the cold because the wolf knows how to bear the frigid winds. Their fur having grown to shift with the winds that come with winter. They stand strong against the chill of winter, and stand headfast at the front of the storm.
The gaze of a wolf alone makes one question whether or not the storm bends to the wolf’s howl.
Cregan Stark knew that his house would come to be called upon soon enough. That is what comes with the winds of war. He just never felt bothered enough to actually busy himself with the calls of the storm.
But it became increasingly hard to ignore as a dragon landed at the gates of the Wall.
Especially when it was a dragon he recognized, that held a rider that had occupied his mind in the dark of the night as he stared into a fireplace. The lick of flames taunting him the same way a certain Targaryen had whenever in their presence.
He had begun to regret not knowing what exactly this storm of war would make him face.
The warmth of a Targaryen was hard to ignore, it made the men wish for the comfort of home as they were reminded of just how cold winter really was when left in their absence. A reaching hand hoping to grasp onto the hearth that was your soul.
Even as he looked up toward the wall, the announcement of your presence was made when he felt sweat beghin to build on the back of his neck.
Turning towards you he noticed the sea of men that had parted to make a runway for you,almost as if they were presenting you to him. Or maybe it was the other way around as he noticed the way your predatory gaze ate up every inch of him.
He should have felt intimidated just by that alone.
You stood there before him, adorning only the one coat that seemed to mock the furs that he had adorned in order to retain even a fraction of the heat that you held onto. Your head was held high as you looked upon the Stark, giving him the smallest courtesy bow as your hand reached to shake his. He should not have been so eager to be in your presence upon the precipice of war.
Cregan Stark was no fool, he knew the reason for your visit. But still, appearances seemed to be becoming more and more important in this age.
“Lord Stark, I hope I am not intruding? There were some important business I’d like to discuss and well…dragons are faster than ravens.”
He offered you a curt smile as he stood to his full height, hoping to give himself an advantage on the conversation. Or at the very least to provide some distance to distract from the pit that had been lit a flame from your very speaking of his name.
“You’re not intruding in any way. Would you like to take this discussion somewhere more private, if the matter happens to be so important?”
You were not used to the Northern accent. The regality of the South had become your norm as you dealt with many affairs there, instead of bending to the will of the many Lord and Lady that wanted an audience with the great Targaryen rulers of the day. Thus you were used to their customs, clothing and accents.
Everything about the North always took you by surprise, and assaulted every sense that you had.
Cregan Stark was no different. If anything he made the divide even more stark as you set your gaze upon him.
He stood tall, and unbroken as he looked at you. The Wolf of the North was everything that had been said about him. Tall, broad, strong…handsome. His steeled eyes locked you in your place almost instantly. You weren’t sure if it was because you feared a single wrong move from you would provoke the beast or because you wanted to soak in every minute of his undivided attention. Never had you met someone with the same resolve as you, nor the same gaze.
You knew now why people were so intoxicated by you.
He always had that effect on you.
Taking his hand, stepping onto the lift you couldn’t help but be drawn to the cold that laid on his hands. The chill that ran up your arm from his touch alone made you want to keep a harsh grip on his gloved hand.
When the both of you were locked in, it was only then did your hands regretfully break apart by the jostle of the cables.
“I’m sure you know why I have made the trip all the way out here?”
“Was it not to take in the view atop the wall?”
The chuckle that left your lips resonated throughout the cart, it made Cregan want to fill a book with quips that would draw similar sounds out of you. He smiled to himself as the ride came to a halt, and the two of you made the trip to a balcony overlooking the edge of the forsaken wall.
“ While that is a plus, I have come here as a courier from the Queen Mother. Whilst I believe you are busy with the responsibilities of defending the South from that of which come from those blasted woods, it would shock me to find you do not know of the developing situation within my family?”
His suspicions were confirmed. While there was no doubt you had come to discuss the usurping of the throne, it lifted some weight off his shoulder to know that you had been the one to broach the topic first. For some…unknown reason he felt hesitant to the idea of bringing up a topic that would only bring a scowl upon your face. Or any topic for that matter that would cause a crease to form between the bridge of your gaze.
But upon the question he found that you were calm and collected. As if you had not just brought up the topic of a deed that often led to disorder amongst the throne and council. Many of the men that served the wall had been sent here for just the discussion of mutiny alone.
Your confidence alone shook him, and confused him at the same time.
“I’m sure even the farthest reaches have heard of your brother taking his seat upon the Iron Throne. I'm confused however on what this has to do with me?”
Taking your gloves off, Cregan watched as you placed your hands on the edge of the ice that formed this pocket amongst the wall. Your shoulders dropped along with your head as you took in a deep breath. It was interesting to take in your mannerisms when it was just him instead of him and an audience. You behaved…well like a dragon. A foreboding presence that did not easily reveal their intentions, a ticking trap of anguish and fire. A continuous stream of steam left your nostrils as you took a moment to contemplate.
The dread that spilled from your exhale had Cregan convinced there was something more amiss this meeting of allegiance.
“I truly do not care of the affairs of my brother, he has rarely acted on his own accord. Thus why I am here, to gather support of others that will make sure whatever whims he does hold are defended from those that aim to make all of this harder than it has to be.”
Looking at the palm of your hand that had been grasping the ice with a fury, you noticed that it had only now just started to turn pink. Whereas you were sure if anyone else had dared to meet flesh with ice, it would be purple and dead by now. It was a calming reassurance to feel the calming touch of ice. When looking into Cregan eyes, you felt a similar calm as his brows furrowed into a look that resembled something of sympathy.
He understood more than anyone the weight of duty.
“If I may ask, it seems as if you do not have much desire in the battles that are brewing? So why come here to make a play with a house that is known to keep their oaths?”
Of course he knew the weight of duty. The Stark house was known to be one of the most noble houses when it came to keeping a promise. They had bent the knee for your half sister years ago, so why must you have come out all this way to try and turn their tides? You truly did not want to come out all this way, only making the trip at the request of your mother who had become a thorn in your side ever since you made your indifference to the throne known.
You knew coming out this way would not sway the Stark, but instead sway you.
“Who wishes for war? Only mad men desire a battle that would take their life,” Taking a moment to compose yourself, you straightened your back.
“Which is exactly why I come in hopes that you share the same sentiment.”
Your eyes seemed to hold all the emotions of the seven kingdoms. Cregan took a moment to compose himself, and remind himself that he was the Warden of the North. He does not need to consult himself on ways to keep the blaze of your heart lit. He had a job, just as you had yours.
Which is why he felt himself faltering.
“A Targaryen that does not wish of war? You are a rarity amongst your family (Y/N).”
Your name should have felt foreign to say. It was not dressed with honorifics, and he meant it. The lack of title that came before your name was with the purpose of bringing this conversation down to a more personal level.
He watched as you tensed with him saying your name. But he knew it was not in offense, he could never offend you. It was in realization of the fragility of this conversation.
His informality was sealed when he rested his hand on the small of your back. The both of you just took in the moment to look beyond the wall. Cregan knew that this simple action could warrant reaction from you, it would be justified for you to take his hand and his tongue for even speaking to you in such a casual way.
Instead you melted into his touch, turning to face him.
He took this as an invitation to invade your space once more, taking a step forward to move a piece of hair that threatened to obscure his view of you.
“You flatter me, Lord Stark. But a compliment such as that will only do so much to sway me. I was sent here for a reason.”
His title wavered on your tongue as you spoke to him. This just drew more a response from him as he did not move, humming almost in agreeance as his hand found its place on your cheek. For a moment he felt jealous of the leather that dressed his palm, for it had the honor of holding you truely.
“Hmm yes, you were sent here for a reason. But could there not have been another? One that you hold instead, that trumps the duty you feel to your house?”
He was always good at reading you.
Perhaps you should have felt unease in coming here, to think it would just be a simple trip to the Wall that would just lead you to return home with nothing but a word that the Starks were not aligned with your house.
You were blinded by the urge to see him, the want to make his acquaintance one more time before the realm tore itself apart.
“Cregan…”
His name fell from your lips with a whisper, as if you were praying to the gods above to harden your resolve.
“Tell me the real reason you came here.”
He was incredibly close now, his presence shadowing over yours. He covered you in a shroud of snow, his touch almost paralyzing you as you remained locked in a fight of wills.
Who would win? The fearsome dragon or the unbending wolf?
“To speak with you. There are…alliances that need to be made in order to keep my family from tearing itself and the world apart.”
This earned a frown from him as he leaned even closer to you. He assaulted every sense you had now. His eyes burned into yours, rivaling your gaze as his scent came over you. There was a reason you favored the smell of leather and musk. It reminded you of him.
“Could you just this once make a decision that was not dictated by your family, but rather made in lieu of what you wanted?”
Your hand reached up to hold his wrist of the hand that grounded you. Your touch was searing, Cregan knew that had you touched his skin he was sure there would be a burn where you had touched him. And he would wear it with honor.
He wondered if a kiss from you would be just as searing. If steam would rise from the both of your lips as you became one.
The fan of your breath over his cheeks threatened the very resolve he was known for.
This very act alone could be considered taking a side. The both of you would seal your fate if you fell blindly into your passions right at this second. A thought crossed the wolf’s mind, how truly awful would it have been to give in, even for just a moment?
Your hand on his cheek, a mirror of his own action, made him clasp his eyes shut as a shaky breath escaped his own trembling lips.
He looked beautiful, in this very moment, you thought.
The both of you were so close, the desire of one thing burning in your mind as you stared at him.
You were never one for politics, but could that argument alone be excuse enough to betray the whims of your family for a single kiss from a man that would stand against them?
You wished to lite his lips ablaze with the passion of your touch.
He wished to swallow the fire that burned in your throat.
A dragon does not feel the cold.
A wolf does not feel the cold.
But right in this very moment they both wished the winds would freeze them in place, if not to hold onto the memory for just a moment longer.
“Cregan..”
“(Y/N)..”
The side of his nose seemed to fit perfectly against yours as he leaned in. Your hand rested up against the nape of his neck perfectly, anchoring both of you in this stance.
Just as the both of you felt a graze of the other, there was the annoyance of another made present.
The squealing of the lift cables broke the silence, and thus breaking the tender moment of the two of you.
It wasn't until they came to a halt did you finally step back, and Cregan was left to imagine the moment for only a second before opening his eyes to the reality of the situation.
“Lord Stark, Prince Jacaerys Velaryon of house Velaryon has arrived to speak with you.”
With a small huff of a laugh, you straightened your cloak and looked out over the wall once more.
This would probably be the last time you saw winter…the snow…and him.
Feeling his hand grip your chin, making you face him you could only chuckle as you held his face again. Only this time with longing and remorse. You were already mourning any possibility you had with him, and he knew it too as he looked down at you.
“I wish it were that easy…”
Leaning forward, you played with fire one last time as your lips came to rest on the corner of his. It was a quick moment, only giving yourself enough of it for the small gesture. You knew if you lingered for even a moment the Northerner would take it upon himself to seize whatever he could. And then you truely would be gone to the whims of a lovely passion.
Pulling away, you watched as he held where you had kissed him, before breaking away from your eye as you made your way to the lift to leave him.
But when his hand found your wrist, you could feel the fire brimming in your throat.
“Just…think about what I said…before its too late.”
Looking over your shoulder, you couldn't help but take the moment to study his face. Commit it to memory. Perhaps that is truly what you came here for. Not some silly test of allegiance, for you already had that answer before you even mounted your dragon.
My requests are open but Im putting a call out for House of the Dragon requests just to put my name out there!! I have ideas but I also wanna fill in any ideas people have!!
Aka Im gnawing at the bars of my enclosure to write for this show.
People I will write for:
Rhaenyra Targaryen
Daemon Targaryen
Aemond Targaryen
Aegon Targaryen
Cregan Stark
Jacerys Valeryon
+ MORE!
If the character is a minor I will only write Angst/Fluff/Friend
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Note: I tend to write gender neutral/appearance neutral to be inclusive but I will go into specifics if requested!!!
