Pairing: Bob Reynolds x telepathic! reader
Summary: In which you accidentally overhear Bob's thoughts about you late into the night
cw - brief angst, mentions of nightmares, fluff
Darkness had fallen over the Tower hours ago, leaving the city unnaturally quiet tonight. Too bad you were wide awake, restlessly tossing back and forth in the sheets.
Trying to sleep when plagued with nightmares of your past was hard enough; it was even worse when you could listen to other people's dreams at night. Not to mention, you were living with nearly half a dozen other equally traumatized people. Over the past few months, you had gotten better at managing your powers and could ignore most people's thoughts, especially when they were asleep.
"Stupid nightmares" drifted into your mind, but it wasn't your own thought. Shoot! You had accidentally connected to someone else's mind. Who was it?
Memories of a shadowy figure in the sky, hovering over the city, crashed into your mind.
Bob? No! Anyone but Bob!
Accidentally connecting with someone's thoughts felt invasive enough, but Bob's mind was a battleground for him, so it felt worse somehow. Guilt crept up in your chest, taking over as you tried in vain to push his thoughts away. Even if it was an accident, it felt selfish to listen in, given how you've noticed the dimples in his smile lately, or volunteered to stay with him when the others were out on missions, or helped him with the dishes each night after dinner. Okay! So you had caught feelings for him. Even you weren't oblivious enough to ignore that.
With a groan, you rolled over, burying your face into a pillow in embarrassment. Just as you began closing your eyes, you caught a name- your name.
"I wish they were with me now." Bob's thoughts entered your own. Even from here, you could get a hazy picture through his own eyes as he tugged a pillow to his chest. "If they were, I would do this..."
Oh no. No. No. No. Was this about to get weird? Sure, Bob could be a bit awkward at times, but you never suspected him of being some perv.
Instead, fear gripped you, followed by a sense of peace flooding every inch of your body as he hugged the pillow pretending it was you. For a moment, the connection was so strong you felt as if his arms ghosted around you, pulling you in gently. The sensation was odd, nearly making your breath go away.
Images filled your mind like a glitching movie from his imagination. Nothing weird at all, actually. Images of Bob gently pushing your hair back while you smiled in your sleep. The two of you curled up, watching a movie together in the Tower as you munched on snacks. Taking walks in the snow and laughing. Protecting him from Val, or anyone else who tied to hurt him.
An image of you holding him, as if you would never let go.
Wow, this was just sad. It's heartbreaking to see what Bob thought about- all he wanted was to be accepted.
Was Bob so terrified at night that he was pretending a pillow was a person? Besides, why would he imagine you rather than Yelena? Even if they weren't together like that, they seemed to share some sort of unspoken understanding of one another. The two of you were just teammates who got along well, right?
"You know, I've been meaning to tell you something," he whispered to nobody, almost as if he had practiced this several times. "And it's okay if you don't feel the same, but I r-really want to spend more time with you because I like you..."
His fingers curled around the pillow's fabric gently, caressing the silk almost reverently. Suddenly, he pulled it closer, clinging to the pillow desperately, as if it were a lifeline. Short, rapid breaths escaped him before they finally lulled, his heartbeat slowing down to a calm.
For a moment, your heart nearly stopped in your chest. It took everything in you not to leap out of bed right now, rush to his room in your PJs, and tell him you felt the same. To tell him you would protect him from the nightmares, from the memories that haunted him, and the other person who followed him like a shadow. Honestly, you assumed he would never like you back. The two of you were so different, and he was recovering from so much; it didn't seem like the right time.
"That would never work," he muttered to himself. "She's so amazing...and terrifying. Honestly, I don't think she likes anyone, so why would she like someone like me?" Rolling over, he buried his face in the pillow, mumbling, "She probably likes Bucky instead."
Bucky? No way! He was more like an older brother to you than anything.
"I'm not enough," he thought to himself, "I'll never be enough for her."
Enough! You couldn't take this anymore. Tossing your blanket aside, you marched out of your quarters and down the hall towards his. Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.
"Bob? Are you okay? I was up getting something to eat and heard noises," you asked, forcing a casual tone.
"Uhh...I'm fine!" he called out with a hint of embarrassment. There was a shuffle, then he cracked the door open. Sad, brown eyes stared out from the dark, shining with a mix of fear and almost hope. "See? I'm okay," he said awkwardly, giving a crooked smile. "Are you?"
"Bob, if you ever need help or anything," you began, unsure where to go with this. Words weren't exactly your skillset. Not in the way using a blade was. Why was this so much easier in the books you read? "Look, I get it...how the past sticks around. The nightmares."
Bob's eyes widened with understanding, staring a moment quietly. "It never seems to leave, does it?" he said, glancing away and scratching the back of his neck. "Follows you around."
"I can help, if you wanted."
"No, no...I'm fine," Bob began. "Uh, goodnight." Before he could shut the door, you pushed your foot in the crack, stopping it.
"Did you need something?" he asked.
No use beating around the bush. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Bob nodded shyly, letting you step inside.
Tossing the pillow aside, you asked, "Do you want the left or right side of the bed?"
Thanks for reading! Requests always open! Tag list open!
Ommggg Sooooppphhh I've been out of it for soooo long but I miss you sooo much ommggg 🩷🩷🩷 I'd love something with Bob, if you're still taking requests 🩷🩷 either spicy or sweet, I'd absolutely love it, I miss him soooo much
Haha Masumi,
I missed you all so much as well!!! 💛✨
I really really want to start picking up pace on here again, so the request is very much appreciated!!
I'll think of something, and I recently had an idea for a setting in which I can see all of the aviators?
I might just write that as well, as a little comparison?
Notes: This took so much longer than I was planning :(( life has been crazy, but I think I will have time to write a little more these upcoming weeks. In the end this fic will turn into a three parter. I really want some more romance for these two, sooo I will try to have the last part ready asap because I’m think I can do better than this haha 🙈
we: 2.3k
* * *
‘Who is Bob?'
The question rings in your ears and your head starts spinning. You are about to ask whether this was some kind of sick joke, but you already know the answer. His eyes are pitch black.
Your heart pace picks up as you take two tentative steps towards him.
'Can I sit with you?' you ask timidly.
Bob does not react, but when you lower yourself on the floor across from him, he also doesn't stop you.
'What's your name?' you ask.
He blinks at you owlishly and doesn't respond for some time. Then softly: 'I don't know.'
You swallow thickly. 'Well, I can tell you my name, if you want.'
His eyes focus on your face as he nods slowly. You tell him, and with a heavy heart realize that there is no recognition on his face.
'What are you doing here?' You hope you're not pushing him too far with these questions, but it's the only thing you can think of to do. If the Void is taking his memories, you need to alert the team, but you also don't want to leave him alone.
'I don't know, actually.'
'Do you know where you are?'
'I ... I think this is the Avengers Tower.'
You smile at that. 'That's true. Do you know how you got here?'
'I - I was with the girl. She had blond hair and like ... she was Russian?' His voice wobbles.
'That's Yelena. Do you remember anyone else?'
'There was another Russian. And a blond man who was mean - but also really sad.' You suppress a snort at his descriptions.
'That would be Alexei and John.'
'I think there were more people but I don't remember.' His forehead creases, eyebrows drawn together as his lips settle into a tight line.
'That's okay,' you tell him, tempted to reach out and take his hand. 'Do you want to talk to Yelena?'
Bob shrugs, and then nods once.
'Come on, then,' you say as you get up and stretch. 'I think she is training.'
He gets up as well and trails awkwardly behind you, fiddling with his sleeves and scratching his arm.
You were right, and find Yelena as well as Ava in the training facilities. You enter with Bob, and ask him to wait while you talk to the women.
'Guys, we have a problem,' you announce in a hushed voice.
'When do we not?' Ava deadpans.
'This is serious,' you sigh, 'I think the Void has taken over again.'
'Bob seems fine to me,' Yelena argues, after a quick glance in his direction.
'Yeah, well, he doesn't know that he's called Bob. The only person out of the team he remembers is you, and even that was fuzzy to him.'
'You are saying he lost his memory?' Yelena asked with a scowl on her face.
You nod. 'He knows where he is, and he knows he came here with you. He also vaguely remembered Alexei and John, but the rest is... puff.' You make a gesture that vageuly resembles a confetti bomb.
'Okay. I will take over,' Yelena says determined and saunters off into the direction where Bob is still standing motionless. You stare after her and see her grab Bob's arm softly.
'How are you doing with that situation?' Ava pulls you back to reality.
'Me? I don't know.' Your heart stutters a little at thinking about it. 'I guess I should be relieved that the past few weeks didn't have anything to do with me, right?' You turn towards Ava and away from Bob.
'I gather you don't,' she observes.
'I don't,' you confirm, 'I feel like shit still. Losing his memories must be horrible,' you mumble, thoughts trailing off again.
'Hey,' Ava put a hand on you shoulder, 'we'll figure it out. Don't worry. After all, we are the Thunderbolts.' Her fake cheering at the team name makes you snort. You wipe your nose, and pull your sleeves over your hands.
'Thanks, Ava.'
'No worries. Does the rest of the team know?'
'Not yet,' you reply, 'I thought it was easier to go to Yelena first.'
Ava nods. 'You should tell the rest, though. This is something we need to solve together.''
You hum. 'Yeah, I'll go tell them.'
* * *
'I just think a group hug won't do this time around,' John sighs.
After you had updated everyone, Yelena had called in an emergency team meeting. Now it was almost midnight, and everyone was tired but none the wiser as to what to do with Bob.
'At this rate, I'm not even opposed to trying,' Bucky groans. Across from you Ava is blowing bubble gum, while Yelena rubs her temples.
'What if we just ... tell Valentina?' you suggest.
'Nooo,' the entire table groans.
'Sorry,' you mumble. 'Just trying to find a solution.'
'What if we just show him footage from the past months he's been with us? Try to force his memory back,' John suggests.
'And have him go into a shock? What if the Void completely takes over?' Ava argues.
You let your forehead fall onto the table with a loud breath. 'This is useless,' you mumble.
For a moment everyone is quiet.
'Okay,' Yelena clears her voice and straightens up, 'what if we treat him like we would treat someone with dementia or Alzheimer's or something. Or amnesia, I don't care. We try not to overstimulate him, we try to gently bring his memories back to live, and if he remembers something we just, you know, try to work with that.'
'So you're suggesting we don't do anything?' you deadpan.
Yelena rolls her eyes. 'Did you not listen to anything I just said?'
'No, no, I did,' you say, 'it just doesn't sound like a plan, is all.'
Yelena squints her eyes at you, but Bucky gets up to interrupt. 'Alright, fighting does not help anyone. We'll treat Bob like a memory loss patient, until we can come up with something better. I want everyone to keep an eye on him, and to share anything out of place with the whole team. Is that understood?' He shoots a pointed look at you and Yelena.
'Understood,' you mumble.
'Loud and clear,' Yelena sighs.
With that the meeting fades out, everyone shuffling out of the meeting room and towards their bedrooms.
Yelena and your room are on the same floor, and so you walk together in silence. When she turns to her room, you turn around and say: 'I didn't mean to snap earlier.'
She sighs and turns to you. 'I did not mean to be insensitive. But I really think this is the best approach.'
'I know,' you mumble, eyebrows drawn together.
'Get some sleep. Everything will be fine,' Yelena says uncharacteristically softly.
* * *
Everything was not fine. Bob's memory didn't come back and he did not remember anything between the New York incident and now. He barely talked, least of all to you, and you felt as though every time you entered a room he would leave immediately.
To say you were desperate would have been an understatement. You noticed yourself pull back from Bob, but also from the rest of the team, spending more time in your room or outside of the tower.
You knew pulling back would not solve anything, but in the end you couldn't help it.
When Bob walks into the kitchen while you are searching for a snack one day, you instinctively try to make yourself smaller.
He doesn't say anything, but still you are painfully aware of his presence behind you. When you finally found the snack you were searching for, you turn around to see Bob reading Frankenstein.
You reread the book recently and accidentally left it in the lounge are. The next day you could not find it. You had given up searching for it. Seeing it now in his hands, you stand frozen. He is already halfway through the book, for sure somewhere in the Creatures account of the story.
You can't help but blurt out: 'You know, there's a great Netflix adaption that came out recently.'
Bob looks up slowly from the page, directly into your eyes. Your breath stutters and heat creeps up your neck and cheeks. 'Sorry,' you mumble, stomach clenching again.
'Is it just as sad as the book?' he asks.
Perplexed you look up. You didn't expect Bob to be interested.
'I think the story is sad by nature. The movie has some different plot lines, but yeah, it's still quite sad.'
'Why do you like it then?'
You chuckle softly. 'How do you know I like it?' you challenge.
'Because you said so.' Bob turns the book so that you can see the pages he's been reading. They are full of annotations and underlined quotes. 'That's your handwriting,' he adds.
You are not sure how he would come to that conclusion, but you won't question him. You're way to glad he's speaking to you again.
'I think I like it because... because it portrays the human nature so accurately. And it humanizes the creature. To be honest, the movie is even better at that I think. You get a real sense of the injustice done to him.'
He hums in acknowledgement. 'You read a lot.' It wasn't a question really.
'Yeah,' you smile, 'who told you?'
His brows furrow in concentration. 'No one,' he mumbles. 'I just know, I think.'
You swear you see his eyes flicker and his usual blue color shine through for a second, before his irises go back to the bluish-black hue. Your heart drops at the change.
'Yelena said we used to read together.'
You nod shortly. 'We did. A lot actually.'
'I'm sorry I don't remember you,' he says sheepishly.
You press your lips together. 'That's okay. It's not your fault, really.'
'Can I borrow this?' he asks, holding up the book.
You swallow, unable to look him in the eyes. Your mind replays the memories of a similar conversation, which now seemed ages ago. The irony of him asking you is totally lost on Bob, yet ever more painful to you.
'Sure. Just - don't eartag, please.'
'Wouldn't dream of it,' he replies with his crooked smile. You don't quite manage to return the smile.
* * *
In the days and weeks after that you try to leave out more books, curious if Bob would be interested in any of them. In some books you check the annotations you made, and update a few of them. The books with more sensitive information on you and your friendship with Bob you keep to yourself, mindful of the team agreement to not overstimulate Bob's memories.
Bob takes some of the books to read, and when he's finished he always returns them to the place he found it. Sometimes he would stick on a note to say thank you, or to comment on the book. Your heart always warmed at that. It was like a piece of the friendship was restored.
Yelena made the most progress with him though. Soon Bob remembered what had happened in New York, and how he came to be friends with Yelena.
He started remembering John and Ava more, and warmed up to Bucky and Alexei, remembering the very first month in the Avengers Tower.
Only you were left. Sometimes you felt as though the Void had specifically targeted the memories from the moment you had joined the team.
It made you feel disconnected from Bob, but it also made you doubt your place on the team and your value as an Avenger.
You barely talked about that part, though Ava figured it out quickly. You were making chocolate chip cookies - Bob's favourites, which you pretended was unimportant- when Ava walked in, sat down and said in a very serious voice: 'Listen. I know you hate talking about it. And I know I'm not very touchy-feely. But I want you to know that we all appreciate you. You're a great addition to the team. And Bob's weird selective memory loss is not reflective of our opinion of you.'
She seemed out of breath after saying it, while you on the other hand had to hold back tears.
'Ava-' you started, sniffling a little.
'No, don't,' she said, 'no hugs or thank you's or anything. I hate emotions.'
You choked out a teary laugh. 'Okay. No thank you then.'
You turned back to the cookie dough, trying to get your emotions back under control.
'You know what, Ava? For someone who's not touchy-feely, you are the only one who seems to understand how I feel.' you said, your back turned to her, out of fear she might scold you again.
'I don't understand how you feel,' she says evenly, 'what I do know though, is how it feels to have no one to share your feelings with. And I want you to know that you can always share with me - with us. We might not understand but we will listen.'
You open your mouth to reply, when someone walks into the kitchen, prompting Ava to get up and leave with a quiet 'See you later.'
When you turn, Bob is standing there.
'Oh, hey,' you mumble.
'Hi. What are you making?'
You nod your chin towards the recipe book. 'Chocolate chip cookies.'
Bobs eyes glint childlike. 'I love chocolate chip cookies! Yours are the second best,' he grins.
'Second best?' you shout playfully. 'Bob, that's ... oddly specific,' You turn to face him, eyes squinted slightly. 'I never made cookies for you before.'
Which wasn't true necessarily. You had made the cookies before, just not specifically for him.
'Well, my Grandma makes the best cookies. I dont think anyone can beat nostalgia. And yours are great. Yelena gave them to me a couple of month ago, because she thought they were too sweet.'
You stare at him dounbfounded. 'I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the fact that Yelena is a good liar. She told me they were delicious.'
Bob chuckles. 'Well, I think they are.'
'Keep the compliments up and I will bake you brownies next week.'
'Well, that was what I was hoping for.'
You snort softly in reply and try to ignore the blush you thought you saw colour Bob's cheeks.
Let me start by saying that I may not be that into marvel movies but I saw thunderbolts and I fell in love with Bob! Like, OMG! He's so adorable I could cry!
Now shoutout to @huenungkai for this lovely idea. I came across one of their post with this idea and thought i could try to write a fic for it. Hope you all Bob girlies enjoy it.🤭
Isn't he so dreamy?
A week ago you were a normal citizen and now you walked behind Valentina as she made it her mission to put you with the thunderbolts because of your newfound powers.
You felt out of place, you whole body felt cold or maybe that was because of your powers but it all felt awkward and new.
Valentina slapped your hand as she noticed your chewing on your nails in nervousness. "Relax, would you? They don't bite. Everyone there looks intense but they're normal. Well, whatever normal is in this world. Just smile and act cool."
The elevator doors slide open and you tried to hide behind Valentina but she pulled you to her side. "Everyone! Meet your newest member. Isn't she adorable?" You looked at Valentina with a horrifying look on your face.
"Hey, you're the kid who froze someone at the news? I saw that. Pretty cool." Alexei laughed.
You blinked unsure what to say and just nodded.
"She doesn't speak? Or scared we bite?" Yelena made her way towards you and looked at you carefully.
"I-I am-"
Yelena's eyes widened followed with a smile, that almost felt forced. "Ah, she speaks. Welcome." With that she walked back to her place.
"Welcome kid, I'm bucky." He was first to forward his hand and your freezing hands met his metal one.
"Hello," John waved. You smiled and waved back feeling at ease a bit.
"Don't freeze us to death. Welcome." Ava said with a poker face and you forced a small smile. They did not seem intense but they were simply as awkward or stiff in emotions as you were and with all of them staring at you. You almost missed one last person standing closer to the wall as if he was hiding but had this soft smile on his face.
He stood at the corner with his hands in front of him, dressed in the comfiest sweater as he looked right at you. His eyes filled with innocence and curiosity.
For the longest minute, the two of you just stared at each other. It didn’t fell wrong but soft. It was Yelena who nudged him to move forward.
He made his way towards you, still keeping his soft smile. He forwarded his hands and you stared at them before joining in a handshake. "I'm Bob. Everyone calls me B-Bob."
You smiled. "Hello, Bob. I like that name, Bob. I like your Bo- I mean your hair. I had short hair once and everyone kept calling me Bob because it was a Bob. But I like it, I can keep it better than my long hair, I have a small face so long hair makes me look weird, like right now. I feel weird, I mean i always feel weird not because of my hair I mean I-i am not at this. I'm sorry." You shut your lips before you rumbled any further.
"Wow," John mouthed towards Yelena.
"I bet you five bucks they got a spark going on." Ava whispered to Bucky.
"Look at them, I call dibs on officiating the wedding." Alexei chuckled low.
Meanwhile, you and Bob stood in silence. He chuckled. "I think you look good, not that you'd look bad with Bob but you would look amazing with a Bob, I mean that hair." He stuttered. "You look good now, very good."
You giggled, twirling a bit. Almost in an instant you cleared your throat as you realised what you just did. Yelena and John snorted a laugh hiding their faces pretending they didn't see you do that at all.
"I like your smile, you have a pretty smile." Bob said feeling his cheeks burning but he was determined to keep a conversation.
You blinked. "I do? Aw, that's so sweet of you. You're pretty."
Ava slapped her mouth to hold her from laughing while John pulled his lips in a straight line to keep his poker face. They all were aware of you two clearly awkwardly flirting right before their eyes.
Yelena snorted before speaking. "At least let go of the girls hand."
Bob looked down and realised that he has been holding your hand the whole time. His face burning in embarrassment as he slowly let go of your hand. The two of you stared at the floor with a stupid smile on your face.
"Watch them stumble and break something with all that twirling." Yelena whispered to bucky.
"D-Do you want me to show you around?" Bob asked and you moved a bit to further that your hand hit a glass of the nearby counter and shatter on the ground. You gasped and Bob was quick to your side.
Yelena snorted a laugh, "classic. Idiots in love." None of them cared about the glass they were amused by the lover story unfolding before them.
Summary: The Void realizes that Bob has gotten better and navigating his emotions and doubts. So when he feels his power decline, he tries a different approach. Slowly, the Void projects the doubts to you, while Bob looses his memory bit by bit.
Pairing: Robert ‘Bob’ Reynolds x female reader
wc: 4.2k
cw: angst, no happy ending, yearning, memory loss, arguments, swearing
* * *
The shivers were creeping up his back, over his shoulders and into his chest as if a thousand people were hovering their fingers over his skin. Not touching, just dangerously present. Simultaneously his vision blurred at the edges.
If you had asked Bob about the sensation he wouldn't have remembered it, just as he didn't remember why he was standing in front of your door. What did he want here? His brows furrowed in concentration, right thumb coming up to his left hand to aggressively rub at his palm. His sigh was frustrated and he had half a mind to turn around and leave. What was is that he wanted from you?
In that moment, the door swung open and you stood there, slightly startled, though a smile spread on your face.
'Hey, Bob. Whatcha up to?'
His hand had shifted higher, his nails softly scratching the inside of his arm. 'I don't remember,' he mumbled, brows still furrowed, his eyes trained on nothing in particular. He seemed far away.
'That's okay. Happens to me all the time, especially when I don't sleep well.'
Bob exhaled softly, and straightened his posture.
'Do you want to get some coffee?' you asked.
'Yeah, that would be good.'
You walked down the hallway towards the elevators. A comfortable silence wrapped around you and Bob as you made your way towards the kitchen. The closer you got, the more Bob seemed to relax. He dropped his shoulders, his face softened.
'Oh, I remember,' he let out suddenly. You turned slightly to look at him, as you waited for him to continue.
'I wanted to ask you about that book you were talking about...'
'The Ministry of Time?'
'Yeah, exactly! Could I borrow it? I'm finished with On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous.' he told you.
'Oh I haven't read that one yet, is it good?' you asked as you poured two cups of coffee.
'I liked it a lot. Though there are some heavy subjects that are discussed.' He went on to tell you everything he did and didn't like about the book, while you sat, listening to him comfortably.
The two of you had developed a strong friendship over books, swapping books recommendations frequently, giving each other recommendations and going to book stores together.
Bob felt as though he could be normal around you, as if your friendship grounded him back in reality. It was the same for you; your were more than your powers when you were with Bob, more than just a useful addition to a team. Valentina had included to the New Avengers roughly half a year after the New York incident, and while you were grateful to the team you never felt like you were really part of the group.
Bob had not talked to you for the first few weeks, until he was practically forced to. He had left a book lying around in the kitchen, which you had picked up and started reading, unaware of who it belonged to. You were engrossed in the story, reading half the book in just a few hours, unaware of what was happening around you, when you suddenly heard someone clear their throat close to you.
You had looked up and found yourself face to face with Bob, who looked utterly uncomfortable and awkward, fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater.
'Are-are you going to f-finish that?' he had asked, his voice breaking slightly.
'I think I might. It's really good' you had replied, still unaware that it was his.
'Oh.' he paused, though you felt like there was something more he wanted to get off his chest. You had asked him if he was okay, and he had nodded nervously, not meeting your eyes.
'You're not very convincing, you know?' you had said.
'W-well, it's just that I had hoped to finish the book today.'
You were of course mortified, immediately handing over the book and slipping of the chair you had sat on.
'I'm so sorry, i shouldn't have-' 'no,no, keep it as long-' 'I don't know-' The two of you were practically holding a people pleasing competition, before you broke out in laughter at the absurdity of the conversation.
In the end you agreed that he would finish the book first, and then lend it to you.
If you were honest, you were a little worried that he forgot what he had wanted to ask you this morning. When it came to books, Bob was the sharpest. He had once told you that reading helped keep the void in check, especially when the team was on missions. He said he'd get so invested in characters and plot lines, that he didn't have time to think about himself, which prevented self doubt.
Forgetting which book he was going to ask about was uncharacteristic, and you felt your gut turn as if it was anticipating bad news. You tried to assess him, and thought to yourself that he really did look tired.
You tried to shake the thoughts off and calm yourself down. Everyone sleeps bad every now and then.
The rest of the day was comparatively peaceful. You and Bob both got lost in your current reads and tried to block out the bickering and shouting of the team as best you could. By evening the incident was basically forgotten.
* * *
You and Bob were sitting on the roof of the tower, enjoying the first warm day of the season. He was reading Pride and Prejudice (your recommendation) and you finally got started on The House on Mango Street (his recommendation).
'I like how Esperanza really has a hybrid identity.' you said after having finished a chapter, turning to Bob.
His brows furrowed. 'Who's Esperanza?'
You turned to him incredulous. 'The protagonist of The House on Mango street.'
'oh, i don't know that one. Sounds interetsting though.'
Your stomach turned, you could practically feel the bile coming up. 'Bob? You recommended this book to me.'
His eyebrows were still pulled together, and he seemed to unfocused. He didn't reply for a few seconds, and then: 'I did?'
'You said it was an interesting exploration of mixed cultures and the immigrant experience. Bob, you praised this book to high heaven.' You didn't ask him how he couldn't remember it. It was implied, and you could see his thoughts race in his head.
'I must be really tired,' he muttered. 'Can you tell me more about it? To jug my memory.'
'Of course,' you replied softly, and started summarizing the plot, and repeating the thoughts he had shared about this book.
'She becomes a writer in the end, doesn't she?' Bob asked at some point.
'Yeah, she does. In her own home.' You scrutinize his face.
'I think I remember now. I don't know why it's so fuzzy.'
Your lips press tightly together, before you reply: 'It's okay. Sometimes it happens. Maybe you are just stressed.'
He nodded slowly. 'Yeah, maybe.'
You got up. 'I'll get something to drink. Do you want anything?'
'Yeah, a tea please. I can come with you.'
'No, no,' you waive him off. 'Relax, I'll get it.'
You turn and enter the building. As soon as you are out of Bob's sight you start to jog towards the meeting room, where you expect Bucky to be. You were right and you spot him hunched over what you assumed were mission reports. He looked tired and worn down and a small part of you felt bad for bothering him. Doubt crept up your spine and made your fingers itch, as you wondered if this was the right time to ask for help. You convinced yourself to just move, one feet at the time.
'Hey, Bucky,' you greeted the grumpy man, while opening the door not bothering to knock.
'Hi,' he replied not particularly enthusiastically.
'I need your help with something.'
He groans tiredly. 'I swear if one of you idiots broke something again-'
'It's about Bob,' you interrupt him loudly. He looks at you with an exasperate expression. 'It's Bob,' you repeat, calmer this time, swallowing the lump in your throat. 'He - he doesn't remember a book he recommended me.'
Bucky's eyebrows shoot up. 'That's the big emergency? He forgot about a book?'
'Bucky, you don't understand. He adores his books, he loved reading it. He told me he would give this one five stars, which for the record he never does. It's ridiculous really, but he says four stars is for a great book, and only really special books get five stars. But this one he thinks is special. He said he connected with the protagonist on 'a spiritual level'. He recommended it to me two month ago, and now he doesn't remember it. That is not only weird, that is concerning.'
Bucky looks at you bemusedly and unimpressed.
'What?' you snap.
'Nothing,' he chuckles, lifting his hands up in mock defense. 'Just, if you have a crush on him, you should tell him not me.'
Your face grew hot from embarrassment and anger. 'That doesn't have anything to do with what's going on,' you mumbled, while vividly contemplating if you could get away with murdering your team leader.
Bucky grunted and got up from his seat. 'Look, I get it, we all worry about Bob. I'll talk to Yelena, see what she thinks. But I think it's normal to forget things. Don't read too much into it just because you have feelings for him,' he said earnestly, patting you on the shoulder once.
You slumped a little, feeling like a little child who got too exited and was then scolded by his parents. You made your way toward the kitchen to bring Bob his tea.
When you walked back out on the roof, Bob was sitting up straight and the book laid forgotten at his side. He stared off into space and you noticed he was scratching his left arm absentmindedly.
Tension rose in your stomach when you saw him. Bucky had been right of course, you had started to develop feelings for your friend. You had tried to keep it a secret but obviously had been unsuccessful. If even Bucky saw it, the whole team probably knew. And if the whole team knew then Bob probably knew- you suddenly wondered if Bob pitied you, and felt utterly pathetic.
Your face grew hot, shame climbed up your throat, squeezing past your airway, making you choke on your nothing. You instinctively cleared your throat, and Bob turned around. UNsure just how it was possible, you felt your cheeks grow even hotter.
'Here's your tea,' you croaked, extending the cup towards him like a peace offering of someone trying to please the gods.
'Are you okay?' Bob asked, taking the cup and carefully blowing on the liquid. The gods were pleased, the subject still in distress.
How more blood rushed to your face was a mystery to you. You felt as though everything you did was somehow wrong and making the situation worse. 'I-I'm actually not feeling great.' you admitted, 'I think I'll lie down.'
You fled the scene, and left Bob standing there utterly in the middle of the roof, limbs dangling aimlessly, the cup directionless in his hand. He had wanted to tell you something but as soon as you had given him the cup of tea, his vision had blurred and shivers had spread across and into his chest.
* * *
The next few days you were absolutely miserable. Moping in your room, barely interacting with the team. It got so bad that Bucky felt the need to apologize for his comments. It was a conversation you hoped you would never have to have again, with awkwardness and stiff words on either side.
You tried to avoid Bob, for fear of embarrassment and because your mind started to convince you that he actually didn't like you, not even in a platonic way. You were sure he was just putting up with you, and that you were becoming annoying.
Bob, on the other hand, was miserable as well. He didn’t understand the change in your demeanor, and couldn’t remember doing anything to hurt your feelings. He was sitting on the couch in the lounge area, open book in his lap, though his gaze drifted and he didn’t take in the words on the page.
John walked in, sweaty and panting from his workout. He dropped his bag and plopped down next to Bob.
‘Hi, Bobby,’ he said, taking in the state of the man next to him. ‘You alright there?’ Whenever Bob was not doing great, John would get flashback from the vault and the shame rooms.
‘Wha-? Oh, hi Walker.’
‘Wanna tell me what’s got you sulking the past few days?’
Bob shrugged. ‘It’s nothing,' he mumbled. 'Can I ask you something?’
John nodded shortly, eyebrow raised in his signature resigned look.
‘How did things end with Olivia?’
‘What the fuck, man?’ John scowled and Bob reacted immediately. ‘I-i-i’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in an asshole way.’ He gulped thickly. ‘I just- I need to know. I don’t wanna lose her.’
‘Lose her?’ John clearly wasn’t convinced. ‘Who the fuck would you lo- oh.’
'Yeah. Oh.' Bob rubbed his face.
John sighed heavily. 'Look, Olivia and me... a lot happened. And a lot of mistakes were made. If you want to boil it down to just one thing... I was selfish. We didn't - I didn't sort my problems out before it was too late already. But I don't think our situation is comparable to yours.'
Bob hummed in acknowledgment.
'Have you told her you like her?'
'I can't. What if she laughs at me?'
'Yeah, right,' John scoffs, 'cause that is totally something she'd do.'
'I don't know, man. I just really like her and I don't wanna lose her.'
'You know that there is a very simple solution to your problem, right?'
Bob's head whipped up, eyes bright. 'Yeah?'
'Yeah. Talk to her.'
Bob slumped back and stared off again.
'Look,' John admitted, 'I'm not great at the advise part. But I know your a good person and I think she likes you too. But you won't get anywhere if you don't talk to each other. You don't know if she's even quiet because of something you did. It might be unrelated.'
Bob nodded slowly. 'That's solid advice man. When did you get so nice?' he teased.
John let out another groan as he got up from the sofa. 'Yeah, yeah, fuck off. I liked you better when you were scared to make fun of me.' He snatched his gym bag off the floor. 'But seriously, go talk to her.'
Bob stared a little more into the distance, but knew that ultimately John was right. So he pulled himself out of it, grabbed the little bookmark you had made for him with your favourite quote written on it, and closed the book. He got up and felt his head ache a little, like he was getting a migraine.
He walked to the elevator with heavy steps experiencing a weird deja vu sensation. Once inside, he realized his back was prickling and shivers ran up his neck and down his arms. He stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway. Why was he here? He was reading before, he didn't remember why he had stopped. Where did he leave the book?
He shook his head at himself, then turned around to find his book.
* * *
A demanding knock pulled your eyes away from the phone and towards your door. You closed the doom scrolling device and let it fall next to you on the pillow.
'Come in,' you called out.
Yelena stuck her head in and entered. 'Hi, there,' she said in a bored tone. 'Are you alive'
'No,' you deadpan. 'Why?'
'Just checking,' she retorts, eyebrows raised as she examined one of the books on your shelf. You desperately needed a new shelf; books were stacked and crammed into every compartment, some threatening to fall out, while there were more books stacked next to the shelf on the ground.
'Did you eat today?' she asked.
Your eyebrows pull together in concentration, as you try to remember. The days were blurring together in your head. 'I had a banana earlier.'
'Yeah, well, its 3 pm. You need to eat.'
You groaned in response and turned to lay on your back.
'Come on, get up.' Yelena nudges you, poking your side.
'Ey, stop that!' You swat her hand away and flop your arm back on the bed. 'I don't even feel hungry.'
'I do not care how you feel, you need to eat.'
You whine as you get up as slowly as possible, just to annoy the assassin a little more.
'Come oonnnn,' she complains. 'It is food, not torture.'
'Why do you even care?' you asked, as you slipped on a pair of socks.
'Because you're the only sane one of this team, I'm not losing you to malnutrition. Now let's go.'
'Awwww,' you coo playfully as you follow her into the hallway and shut your door, 'you like me.'
'Yeah, yeah,' she can't help the smile taking over. 'I'll like you even more once you've eaten.'
You enter the elevator and gasp in mock surprise. 'Even more? You are going soft on me.'
Yelena rolls her eyes. 'Don't worry, Bob's still the softest for you. Or the hardest, who knows?' she smirks.
Usually you and her would giggle about these kind of jokes, but you just blush and avert your gaze, without any response.
'Oh,' Yelena's voice turned soft. 'so this is what this is about?'
You shrug simply.
'Okay, you know what? You need a girls night,' she says as you enter the kitchen. 'Just you, me and Ava.'
'What about me?' You hadn't seen John when you had entered.
Yelena's eyes shot daggers at him. 'Absolutely not. Girls night with just the girls. We don't need more men ruining the vibe.'
'More men? Jesus, who got your panties in a twist?'
'It's just Bob.' Yelena said as she pulled out a bag of pasta and pre-made bolognese.
'Wait, so he still didn't talk to you about it?'John asked turning to you.
'About what?' you said, forehead wrinkled.
'Oh,' John let out a breath, realizing his mistake.
'Walker, what does 'oh' mean?' You asked concerned.
'Nothing,' he replied, hands up in defense, though his eyes revealed panic. Yelena had turned to him as well now, the two of you were standing right in front of him. For some reason, Yelena was holding a kitchen knife.
'Walker,' she said, 'I suggest you tell us what you know. Right now.'
An exasperated sigh left his lips, as he started recounting his conversation with Bob from a few days ago.
* * *
You sat numbly on the chair, contemplating the past few days.
'I swear, I saw him walk in the direction of your room. I thought he'd talked to you already.' John looked helpless.
Your airways were restricting again, your chest felt hollowed out and squeezed in at the same time.
'We know he is shy,' Yelena tried to diffuse the situation. Your stomach clenced and you felt like you were going to throw up.
'Or he realized I'm not actually worth the trouble and he doesn't want me that much after all,' you choked out.
'Look, again. I know I'm not great at advice,' John interjected, 'and I don't follow my own advice very often. But- you guys need to seriously talk to one another.'
You nodded absentmindedly, though John suspected it was a sign that you heard him, not that you agreed with him.
You didn't belief in fate or destiny, or karma, or any of those things, but Bob walking into the kitchen in that exact moment had to be a cosmic middle finger from the universe.
'Hey, guys,' he greeted simply. Everyone let out a soft hey, one after the other, and an awkward silence stretched between the four of you.
John was the first one to snap out of it. He cleared his throat and stammered: 'I actually need to be- I gotta - yeah... Yelena can you help me with that?'
Her eyes were huge, and if you didn't know better you would have thought she was panicking. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, I also gotta...'
The two of them left the kitchen without saying anything. In any other situation this would have been declared a miracle. Now it was just you and Bob and a lot of tension between the two of you.
'What were you guys talking about?' Bob asked, seemingly distracted.
'Uhm ...' you knew this was your chance to actually have the conversation with him. You knew if you didn't talk about it now, you'd never have the courage to actually bring it up.
'Well, John was telling us - me about... about the conversation you two had a few days ago.'
Bob's eyebrows pulled together, yet he didn't interrupt you.
'A-about... me,' you clarified.
'What about you?'
You felt your stomach try to bring something up, but since you hadn't eaten you couldn't throw up. 'What do you mean what about me?' you asked, as you felt tears gather in your eyes.
Bob just looked at you without any emotions. Your eyes couldn't hold the tears any longer.
'Bob, seriously? What the fuck is up with you? This is so not like you.'
'How would you know what's like me?' he asked, his voice low.
Your heart shattered right there. 'I - what? We are friends, I know you,' you sniffled, tears streaming down your face and lodging themselves uncomfortably under your chin.
'I don't know why you'd say that,' he mumbled, his brows pulled together like he was trying to solve a math equation rather than talking to you. You couldn't stop the sob that tore from your throat.
You fled the kitchen with superhuman speed, hurrying to get to your room, praying to any divinity that you wouldn't meet anyone. Of course, the universe worked against you. When rounding a corner you bumped into Alexei.
'Hello there, little one,' he said in good humour, though when he saw your face he immediately soften his tone. 'Oh, no.' he mumbled. His huge arms came up to hug you.
'Alexei-' you started to protest, but he cut you off. 'Shh.... I know you don't think you need this. But let me help.'
You gave up struggling against him and relaxed into his arms, letting the sobs out and the tears flow freely. He just patted your shoulder. You assumed it was more awkward for him than for you, but it felt too good to finally cry everything out.
After a few minutes your sobs subsided and your tears flowed silently.
'So, tell me. Who may I kill?' Alexei asked.
A watery laugh left your lips as you wipe your face. 'No one, Alexei. But thank you.'
'You want to talk?' he asks much more gently than you would have expected from him.
'No, not really,' you sniffle. 'I think I'll take a nap.'
'Okay. But tell me if you change mind. I will gladly kill person who made you cry.'
You smile a tiny smile, and leave to go to your room.
* * *
The next day was torture. You cried most of the time, were unable to eat and unable to talk to anyone. Yelena and Ava dropped by routinely to check in on you, and try to cheer you up, feeding you your favourite snacks and comfort foods.
John came by to apologize at one point. You waved him off and told him you knew he didn't have bad intentions.
When Alexei found out what had happened he was, for the very first time in his life, speechless.
Bucky tried to navigate the chaos with military precision, but ultimately just clapped you on the shoulder with the advice to take a vacation if you needed it.
The day afterwards there was less crying, and less interactions. The girls still checked up on you, but the rest of the team gave you space.
The following days developed similarly, until eventually a week had past and you felt nothing anymore. You didn't cry, but laughter was also hard to muster and in the end you felt like a living corps.
You didn't see Bob at all, and a part of you was grateful. At least you could pretend nothing had happened as long as he wasn't around. You knew you would have to face him again eventually, but just for know you could pretend.
It happened ten days after the kitchen incident. You walked into the lounge room at six in the morning, unable to sleep. He was sitting crossed legged on the rug staring off into the distance.
When he heard you, he turned. It was hard to breath, and you swallowed thickly before choking out: 'Hey, Bob.'
You looked at him and noticed that he was weirdly still. His eyes were fixated on you, but seemed almost completely black.
cw: mental health, awkwardness, strangers to friends
synopsis: You help the New Avengers manage their stuff, Bob is the last team member you meet. When you two are alone at the tower, awkwardness ensues and friendship blossoms.
*****
'This is Bob,' Yelena announced.
You jumped at the sudden interruption. You were bend over your laptop, trying to match and sync Valentina's various requests for the New Avengers press moments. It seemed nearly impossible to fit every single meeting into a months time and yet you had been tasked to schedule everything for next week.
You had been hired as the New Avengers' assistant, in order to take some things off Mel's plate. She would primarily be responsible to handle all of Valentina's affairs and any 'group outings', while you were responsible for the member's personal schedules.
The job was great, really. The payment was phenomenal and it felt like you finally did something that mattered, but Valentina was a lot. You didn't like to complain too much, but there was a line to that, and valentina was dancing tango on the edge of said line. You didn't mind the working hours or the intensity, more so the unpredictable nature of your boss, combined with the unfamiliarity between you and the superheroes.
Yelena was nice to you, she tried to make conversation every now and then. It was a general plus to your relationship that you never had to guess what mood she was in. She was practically wearing her heart on her sleeves, if you were patient enough to sort through all the sarcastic and cynical comments. Alexei was similar, if ten times louder and chattier than his daughter, always sharing (unasked) stories of his glory days back in Russia. You liked both of them; you were not supposed to play favorites, but secretly it was the Russian father-daughter duo. They felt the most normal to be around, and the first ones to accept you as part of the 'family'.
Ava on the other hand was difficult to place. She barely talked to you, and ever so often she would randomly materialize beside you. It always gave you shivers, which you were sorry about. You never meant to offend, but you couldn't help but feel awkward around her. Next to that, she was also the only member who flatly refused to show up for appointments you had made. You didn't hold it against her personally, you supposed, being stuck in a lab for most of your life did that to you: not taking orders from anyone and not following a schedule, especially if it involved obnoxious and insensitive journalist who were interested more in her fashion than in her work. Still, you never really developed a professional, let alone friendly relationship.
The two super soldiers were polite enough to you, while the former re-imagined Captain America was a tiny bit chattier than the former Winter Soldier. Both were grumpy though, and did not appreciate small talk - that you learned the hard way. From a professional point of view though, they were great. John was used to press and publicity, so you didn't have a lot of issues. Sometimes he'd complain about scheduling, but in the end he always showed up and did what was asked of him. Bucky was the perfect counter piece. Though he wasn't very used to the media, he never made your work any harder. You got the sense that he was apologetic for your involvement in the chaotic team, and as a result tried to make your life as easy as possible.
You had met all of them, so it shouldn't have surprised you to be introduced to Bob. However, Valentina had scheduled no interview moments, no interviews, no press stunts for him, and so you had assumed that you wouldn't meet him until further notice.
You looked up from your device and the various papers and memo's scattered on your desk to see Yelena and Bob stand before you. The former in jogging pants and an oversized hoodie, the latter in washed out jeans and a crew neck sweater.
'Uhh ... hi,' mumbled Bob quietly.
You smiled brightly at him as you introduced yourself. 'It's nice to meet you.'
'Um ... yeah. You, too.'
'We were just wondering if there's anything to do for Bob,' interjected Yelena, before any sort of silence could form.
'Well, right now Valentina is keeping you out of the limelight,' you admitted, 'and since you are not going on any missions yet, there is no paperwork to be done. If anything comes up, I will be sure to get it to you asap. In the mean time, if there's anything I can do for you, these doors are always open.'
You cringed at how practiced that speech sounded, but it was in fact that: practiced. You didn't know how Bob would take this information, whether or not he'd be okay with being kept from the public's prying eye, so you had thought of different ways to approach the subject, not expecting to deliver the news to him this early.
'She means that literally, by the way,' Yelena said, turning to Bob. 'Her office is always open and everyone always comes in whenever they want.'
You chuckled. 'Not much sense in locking the door if one of you can walk through walls anyways.'
Bob let out something that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and you noticed a weird warmth spreading through your chest.
'Well, we'll leave you to it. Shout if there's an alien invasion,' Yelena deadpans, before sauntering of with Bob following close behind, though you swear you hear a soft 'see ya' from the man.
Getting to know Bob was less intense than you had expected. He was rarely around when you were there, or at least he was not staying anywhere near your office. At team meetings he would sit at the far end opposite of your seat. He rarely contributed but always seemed to be paying attention to what you were saying.
A couple of weeks after that first encounter, you found yourself alone in the tower way past your usual time. There had been a last minute mission the Avengers were sent on, and so it left you a heap of work to reschedule all the events and appointments they would miss, sending apologetic emails to other assistants of bosses who did not have the time and could not care to do any organization work themselves.
Honestly, time had slipped away and suddenly you realized it was dark outside, while you did not even get to have lunch, let alone dinner.
With a resigned sigh you made your way towards the kitchen. It wasn't a place you liked to be. It always reminded you that you did not actually belong here, that you were not really a part of the team itself no matter how close you were to them. So entering the kitchen felt like invading their sanctuarium. This was where the six of them could relax, could be themselves and not be judged by the outside world of press, gossip, and marketing strategies. You made a mental note to stack up on snacks in your office for cases like this.
Another heavy sigh escaped you, as you went looking through the fridge and the cabinets for something that would fuel you for just an hour more, before you got home and could finally reheat yesterdays pasta.
'I was gonna order food, if you wanna.'
You jumped at the sudden interruption of the silence that had engulfed the kitchen. Bob winced when he saw you jump at his voice and let out a tired 'sorry' while shuffling towards one of the bar stools around the kitchen island, in which he let himself drop unceremoniously.
'Hey, Bob. Sorry for freaking out, I totally forgot that I wasn't alone,' you replied, trying to sound cheery without coming across as fake friendly. You made another mental note to be more aware of the sixth team member.
'I can ..'-Bob started getting up - 'I can go, I didn't mean to bother''
'No, stay! You're not bothering at all. I'm just a little tired, when I'm tired I get jumpy... so really it's on me.' you bring out nervously. Since when do I get nervous around coworkers? The thought crept up on you, and you hurried to stuff it and the implications of it in the back of your mind.
He hums in response, fiddling with his sweater sleeves.
'What were you going to order?'
'I- well, I was really craving some Chinese food.' he mumbled, seemingly embarrassed.
You were kicking yourself mentally. Go ahead, and seem like you're afraid in front of the most vulnerable person in this tower. Great job making him even more insecure.
'That sounds great, could you just order me whatever you're getting?'
'S-sure.'
'Thank you, Bob.' You smiled at him, feeling a little awkward. He typed away on his phone, you assumed he was ordering and not just scrolling to avoid talking to you.
'Hey, what are you even still doing here?' he spoke up, while sliding his phone in his pocket.
'Oh! I have to finish up some work. With this mission a lot of stuff has to be rescheduled and its a lot of polite emailing back and forth and stuff.'
'Oh,' he trailed off a little, before adding: 'But couldn't you just do it at home?'
No matter how hard you tried not to, you must have made a face while saying: 'oh, yeah, of course. I can wrap up and-'
'Tha-that's not what I meant,' Bob croaked, blushing furiously, while ducking his head low. 'I - I'm sorry, I - I shouldn't have-' he broke off, before repeating quietly. 'I'm sorry.'
He slipped of the stool and started turning away but froze when you called out his name. 'It's okay. What did you mean if not... you know, that?'
'I just meant- it must be exhausting, right? A-and at home, you could probably do it more comfortable? Those shoes do not look comfortable,' he commented, pointing at your heels.
You huffed through your nose. 'You'd be surprised. But yeah, home would be more comfortable. It's just that I can't concentrate there that well, and I tend to get distracted. So I try to do as much as possible here, even if it means staying long.'
He hums again, and just watches you for some time.
'You know, I can go if it bothers you. I won't take it personally,' you tease him lightly.
'It doesn't bother me. It's nice knowing I'm not alone,' he admits, a blush still dusting his cheeks.
In that moment you would have loved to reach out your hand and touch him. He looked like a little boy, just waiting for someone to hug him. You could not work up the courage to actually step closer, and so you settled on giving him a sad little smile.
'I know Yelena teases me for it, but my door really is always open. If you ever want to feel less lonely just come by.'
'Th-thanks. That means a lot.' An awkward silence stretched between you, in which neither one seemed to know where to go from there.
Gulping down your nervousness, you announced softly: 'I think I'll go back to the office and try to get some more work done.'
'Yeah, okay,' he breathes.
'See ya, Bob.'
You turned and walked back to your desk, unable to shake the feeling that you had done something wrong. When you sat behind your desk, you shook your head and tried to regain focus. There was still a lot to be done, and Bob was right, home was a much more comfortable place to be at.
Just when you thought you were back to your flow, a soft knock at the office door made you look up. Bob stood there, in one hand holding the food delivery, the other one clutched around two small water bottles.
'Come on in!' you invite him, slightly pushing away from your desk and closing the laptop in front of you to face him entirely.
Bob shuffled closer, and wordlessly handed you one of the water bottles. He settled into the chair across from you and opened his water bottle.
'So... can I ask you something?' he posed carefully.
'Of course!' You open the take out container absentmindedly. 'What is it?'
'Why do you leave the door open?'
'I'm not sure I know what you mean.' you hesitate to answer his question.
'W-well, I get what you said about Ava being able to - to just come in. And that you are here to help, so people should come to you for help. But I-i-i... I was wondering if you never have moments that you would feel safer with the door closed?'
'Safer, as in from you guys? Or safer from the outside world?'
'Safer from everything. Like... like a sort of barrier between you and everything else, I guess.'
You hummed around some noodles, pensive before answering.
'I guess I would feel a little safer from judgment and maybe a little calmer. No offense, but you lot can be loud,' you chuckle and hear Bob join.
'But at the same time, I think I just want to make sure I can help you the best I can, even if that means just making you feel welcome. Because in the end, I cannot help all of you with everything, I'm not a superhero or a miracle worker. But I can take care of the small things to make your lives easier. And leaving the door open is part of that. I don't want anyone of the team wondering whether they can bother me with something. ' You exhaled quietly, unsure whether you had overshared or if what you had said made sense.
Bob just watched you for a couple of seconds, slowly blinking as if deep in thought. 'Does it bother you that the team doesn't know that?'
You laughed under your breath. 'Honestly? No. My job is to stay under the radar, to be invisible. Like Santa's elves. So if they don't know, that just means I'm good at my job.'
Bob hummed quietly. 'Can I ask you another question?'
'Anything you'd like,' you smiled
'Can you schedule something for me?' He was looking at the floor.
'Bob...' You hesitated. 'Valentina really doesn't want you in the public eye yet.'
'I-i-it wouldn't be in public-' he broke of, before whispering with closed eyes. 'I-i want to see a therapist.'
Your heart broke for the second time that evening. Then you took a deep breath, grabbed the team's calendar and your laptop, opening Bobs file.
'Of course we can schedule that. Did you have any particular therapist in mind?'
You were painfully aware of the fact that you were using your business voice, but that was the thing about your mind. When it came to helping someone, a switch flipped and you did everything in your power to help as soon and as accurately as possible.
An hour and thirty-eight minutes later, you had send various emails to therapist you and Bob had found, both near the tower and further in the states, even sending one mail across the pond to a British psychologist, who was renowned for his specialization in childhood trauma. You had also contacted Dr Strange, asking him whether there was anyone in his network who could assist Bob.
The man in question was sat next to you by then, slightly slumped over and fiddling with his sweater sleeves.
You let out a satisfied sigh, turning towards him in your chair. 'I think this is it for now. I will let you know as soon as someone responds.'
'Thank you,' Bob muttered, rubbing a hand across his face. 'I'm sorry I kept you from doing your work.'
'This literally is my job,' you chuckled, 'so you don't have to be sorry. I'll just do the rest tomorrow.'
You started packing up your laptop and the notebooks, pens and annotation tags and started shouldering your bag, when you suddenly became hyper aware of the fact that Bob hadn't yet left your office. 'Is there something else you need?'
'Oh, m-me? No, I just- I just wanted to walk you downstairs,' Bob mumbled, his gaze directed to the floor again.
You smiled to yourself, as you shouldered your bag and moved towards the door. 'Let's go then.'
The pair of you walked towards the elevator in silence, waiting for the soft ping announcing its arrival. Once inside, Bob pressed the button which would take you to the ground floor.
'I-' he cleared his throat 'I really want to thank you. Not just for helping me with the a-appointments. Also for having dinner with me. I-i don't have many friends, and its really nice to not be alone in the tower.'
Your eyebrows shot upwards as you turned to him with slightly parted lips.
'And don't say it's your job,' he interrupted with a sudden confidence, 'because i know you're doing more than what your job requires. So, thank y-you.'
By the time he had finished, the elevator doors opened and Bob immediately averted his gaze.
'I'm really glad I could help,' you said softly, squeezing his arm carefully. 'And I'll make sure to bring dinner for us whenever the others are not around.'
For the first time you thought you saw a real smile on Bob's face. 'How would you know if there are going to be there or not?' he asked with a teasing tone.
'Don't underestimate my skills, Bob Reynolds!' you chide playfully, buttoning up your coat.
Bob chuckled. 'I would never.'
'You better not,' you laugh, and after a short pause you breath: 'Good night, Bob.'
'Good night, see you tomorrow,' Bob responds, before turning away and shuffling back to the elevator.
You watch him enter into the lift, thinking about whether you should to invite him for something non-work related some time. You wondered if he'd like the book store, and made another mental note to find a way to get him out of the tower for a low stake activity.
Any person passing you who bothered to look at your face wouldn't have been able to guess that you stayed late for work; you were smiling the whole way home.
