The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.
How Prenatal Maternal Infections May Affect Genetic Factors in Autism Spectrum Disorder
Researchers find activation of maternal immune system during pregnancy disrupts expression of key genes and processes associated with autism and prenatal brain development.
The research is in Molecular Psychiatry. (full open access)
Autism is correlated the most with Female stress & cortisol before pregnancy and during pregnancy in the womb and age of female having baby combined.
As stress levels rose in women and women postponing childbirth into 30ā²s, this correlates with rising autism genes to be epigenetically activated or set up to activate early in life..Ā
I was shockingly surprised by how very good this is...
This is an honest, open story from a young woman about her marriage. There are some powerful truths spoken here, worthy of notice and reflection. If youāre married, have ever been married, or plan on getting married eventually, this is for you.
From Tickld via Reddit:
My āAha Momentā happened because of a package of hamburger meat. I asked my husband to stop by the store to pick up a few things for dinner, and when he got home, he plopped the bag on the counter. I started pulling things out of the bag, and realized heād gotten the 70/30 hamburger meat ā which means itās 70% lean and 30% fat.
I asked, āWhatās this?ā
āHamburger meat,ā he replied, slightly confused.
āYou didnāt get the right kind,ā I said.
āI didnāt?ā He replied with his brow furrowed. ā Was there some other brand you wanted or something?ā
āNo. Youāre missing the point, ā I said. āYou got the 70/30. I always get at least the 80/20.ā
He laughed. āOh. Thatās all? I thought Iād really messed up or something.ā
Thatās how it started. I launched into him. I berated him for not being smarter. Why would he not get the more healthy option? Did he even read the labels? Why canāt I trust him? Do I need to spell out every little thing for him in minute detail so he gets it right? Also, and the thing I was probably most offended by, why wasnāt he more observant? How could he not have noticed over the years what I always get? Does he not pay attention to anything I do?
I suddenly felt terrible. And embarrassed for myself. He was right. It really wasnāt anything to get bent out of shape over. And there I was doing just that. Over a silly package of hamburger meat that he dutifully picked up from the grocery store just like I asked. If I had specific requirements, I should have been clearer. I didnāt know how to gracefully extract myself from the conversation without coming across like I have some kind of split personality, so I just mumbled something like, āYeah. I guess weāll make do with this. Iām going to start dinner.ā
He seemed relieved it was over and he left the kitchen.
And then I sat there and thought long and hard about what Iād just done. And what Iād been doing to him for years, probably. The āhamburger meat moment,ā as Iāve come to call it, certainly wasnāt the first time I scolded him for not doing something the way I thought it should be done. He was always putting something away in the wrong place. Or leaving something out. Or neglecting to do something altogether. And I was always right there to point it out to him.
Why do I do that? How does it benefit me to constantly belittle my husband? The man that Iāve taken as my partner in life. The father of my children. The guy I want to have by my side as I grow old. Why do I do what women are so often accused of, and try to change the way he does every little thing? Do I feel like Iām accomplishing something? Clearly not if I feel I have to keep doing it. Why do I think itās reasonable to expect him to remember everything I want and do it just that way? The instances in which he does something differently, does it mean heās wrong? When did āmy wayā become āthe only way?ā When did it become okay to constantly correct him and lecture him and point out every little thing I didnāt like as if he were making some kind of mistake?
And how does it benefit him? Does it make him think, āWow! Iām sure glad she was there to set me straight?ā I highly doubt it. He probably feels like Iām harping on him for no reason whatsoever. And it Iām pretty sure it makes him think his best approach in regards to me is to either stop doing things around the house, or avoid me altogether.
Two cases in point. #1. I recently found a shard of glass on the kitchen floor. I asked him what happened. He said he broke a glass the night before. When I asked why he didnāt tell me, he said, āI just cleaned it up and threw it away because I didnāt want you to have a conniption fit over it.ā #2. I was taking out the trash and found a pair of blue tube socks in the bin outside. I asked him what happened and why heād thrown them away. He said, āThey accidentally got in the wash with my jeans. Every time I put in laundry, you feel the need to remind me not to mix colors and whites. I didnāt want you to see them and reinforce your obvious belief that I donāt know how to wash clothes after 35 years.ā
So it got to the point where he felt it was a better idea ā or just plain easier ā to cover things up than admit he made a human error. What kind of environment have I created where he feels heās not allowed to make mistakes?
I know now that what he means is, āthis thing that has you so upset is a small detail, or a matter of opinion, or a preference, and I donāt see why youāre making it such a big deal.ā But from my end I came to interpret it over time that he didnāt care about my happiness or trying to do things the way I think they should be done. I came to view it like āthis guy just doesnāt get it.ā I am clearly the brains of this operation.
I started thinking about what Iād observed with my friendsā relationships, and things my girlfriends would complain about regarding their husbands, and I realized that I wasnāt alone. Somehow, too many women have fallen into the belief that Wife Always Knows Best. Thereās even a phrase to reinforce it: āHappy wife, happy life.ā That doesnāt leave a lot of room for his opinions, does it?
Itās an easy stereotype to buy into. Look at the media. Movies, TV, advertisements ā theyāre all filled with images of hapless husbands and clever wives. He canāt cook. He canāt take care of the kids. If you send him out to get three things, heāll come back with two ā and theyāll both be wrong. We see it again and again.
What this constant nagging and harping does is send a message to our husbands that says āwe donāt respect you. We donāt think youāre smart enough to do things right. We expect you to mess up. And when you do, youāll be called out on it swiftly and without reservation.ā Given this kind of negative reinforcement over time, he feels like nothing he can do is right (in your eyes). If heās confident with himself and who he is, heāll come to resent you. If heās at all unsure about himself, heāll start to believe you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neither one is a desirable, beneficial outcome to you, him or the marriage.
Did my husband do the same to me? Just as Iām sure there are untold numbers of women who donāt ever do this kind of thing to their husbands, Iām sure there are men who do it to their wives too. But I donāt think of it as a typical male characteristic. As I sat and thought about it, I realized my husband didnāt display the same behavior toward me. I even thought about some of the times I really did make mistakes. The time I backed into the gate and scratched the car? He never said a word about it. The time I was making dinner, got distracted by a call from my mom, and burned it to cinders? He just said, āWe can just order a pizza.ā The time I tried to put the new patio furniture together and left his good tools out in the rain? āAccidents happen,ā was his only response.
I shuddered to think what I would have said had the shoe been on the other foot and heād made those mistakes.
So is he just a better person than me? Why doesnāt he bite my head off when I donāt do things the way he likes? Iād be a fool to think it doesnāt happen. And yet I donāt remember him ever calling me out on it. It doesnāt seem heās as intent as changing the way I do things. But why?
Maybe I should take whatās he always said at face value. The fact that these little things āreally donāt matter that much to himā is not a sign that heās lazy, or that heās incapable of learning, or that he just doesnāt give a damn about what I want. Maybe to him, the small details are not that important in his mind ā and justifiably so. Theyāre not the kinds of things to start fights over. Theyāre not the kinds of things he needs to change about me. It certainly doesnāt make him dumb or inept. Heās just not as concerned with some of the minutia as I am. And itās why he doesnāt freak out when heās on the other side of the fence.
The bottom line in all this is that I chose this man as my partner. Heās not my servant. Heās not my employee. Heās not my child. I didnāt think he was stupid when I married him ā otherwise I wouldnāt have. He doesnāt need to be reprimanded by me because I donāt like the way he does some things.
When I got to that point mentally, it then made me start thinking about all the good things about him. Heās intelligent. Heās a good person. Heās devoted. Heās awesome with the kids. And he does always help around the house. (Just not always to my liking!) Even more, not only does he refrain from giving me grief when I make mistakes or do things differently than him, heās always been very agreeable to my way of doing things. And for the most part, if he notices I prefer to do something a certain way, he tries to remember it in the future. Instead of focusing on those wonderful things, I just harped on the negative. And again, I know Iām not alone in this.
If we keep attempting to make our husbands feel small, or foolish, or inept because they occasionally mess up (and I use that term to also mean ādo things differently than usā), then eventually theyāre going to stop trying to do things. Or worse yet, theyāll actually come to believe those labels are true.
In my case itās my husband of 12+ years Iām talking about. The same man who thanklessly changed my car tire in the rain. The guy who taught our kids to ride bikes. The person who stayed with me at the hospital all night when my mom was sick. The man who has always worked hard to make a decent living and support his family.
He knows how to change the oil in the car. He can re-install my computerās operating system. He lifts things for me that are too heavy and opens stuck jar lids. He shovels the sidewalk. He can put up a ceiling fan. He fixes the toilet when it wonāt stop running. I canāt (or donāt) do any of those things. And yet I give him grief about a dish out of place. Heās a good man who does a lot for me, and doesnāt deserve to be harassed over little things that really donāt matter in the grand scheme of things.
It takes two to make a partnership. No one is always right and no one is always wrong. And youāre not always going to see eye-to-eye on every little thing. It doesnāt make you smarter, or superior, or more right to point out every little thing he does thatās not to your liking. Ladies, remember, itās just hamburger meat.
Men want to be good and being judged for every effort and nagged to do stuff takes away the charitable aspect....women must let her man take the lead without controlling him voluntarily.
It is funny that NASA will declare they found life on Mars if they discover 1 single living cell on any planet, yet feminists think that a 13 week old fetus growing in their wombĀ is not a human being and does not have rights
Protect yourself from these emotional vampires. They will drain your energy, leave you exhausted and then they start replicating your vibe and characteristics when you distance yourself from them. They want your happiness. They want your energy. They don't want you. Be careful.
izzy806
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
dailybridgerton
theartofmadeline
titsay
