I'm fine.

It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired.

[faded-monologue]

Life after college

Family: “How are you holding up?”

Me:

[faded-monologue]

Why I’m still single...

Potential Bae: So, what turns you on? ;)

Me:

[straightboyfriend]

[segadreamcatcher]

boy if u dont get 

[mygoldendear]

@irrelevant-relevancy @silentspaces

[faded-monologue]

Just another reason to vote for Bernie. #feelthebern @mygoldendear

[najaaozixxjsiaaiaiia]

im maddie

[faded-monologue]

“Please do not be like this.”

[irrelevant-relevancy]

This one time, I got so high that I though the upholster in the car parked across from mine were two women wearing hijabs…

[irrelevant-relevancy]

What if navigation systems were programmed by oil companies to always take the longest route so we’d waste more gas?

[veryfunnymemes]

[scoutbert]

ATTENTION

I AM ON A MISSION. I AM GOING TO FOLLOW EVERY BLOG ON THIS SITE. ALL OF THEM. HELP ME ACHIEVE THIS GOAL, INTERNET STRANGERS, BY REBLOGGING THIS POST AND I WILL FOLLOW ALL WHO REBLOG IT. E V E R Y O N E.

[marsnmango]

I want to call bullshit but I can’t take that chance 

[scoutbert]

good.

[sassywitchclub]

holy shit you’re really doing it

[faded-monologue]

Together we'll be Tumblr famous! Muhahahaha!

[faded-monologue]

People: “It’s a sign from God!”

Experts: “It’s just a rolling shutter effect.”

Me: “The Avatar has returned.”

[faded-monologue]

Dating

I think I'm gonna make a dating profile and put "comes with Netflix" as one of my qualities.

[faded-monologue]

Back to School

I still feel anxious when I read back to school posts, but then I remember I graduated over a year ago and I never have to go to school again.

[faded-monologue]

“Resist not, human, for in your state of panic you have yet to realize you are drowning.”

[faded-monologue]

Tears Bethe Correia apart in 34 seconds. Gets embarrassed and covers her face when applauded for saying, “I love Armenians very much” in Armenian. She is adorable.

[faded-monologue]

I think Olive Garden should create a to-go bag designed to look like a purse specifically for their breadsticks.

[faded-monologue]

Since I work for a marketing post house, we do a lot of subtitling work. For one of our recent projects, we had to plug in the Swedish translations to our subtitle template. One of the English phrases translated was “tail bump.” Of course, most languages won’t have a direct translation of it, but Swedish had the best one...

[faded-monologue]

I work for a marketing post house and before uploading any marketing asset to our website for distribution, we have to perform a quality check to make sure everything is in order. While quality checking this asset, I accidentally paused the video on Jai Courtney doing the “not bad” face like he’s super impressed with his own stunt. 

[faded-monologue]

Mom! The ice cream man! Hurry! 

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