Ashley Soleil's random gibberings

Some random 30+ enby's main blog, used mainly for reblogs of stuff I like. He/they. DNI if you're going to be a jerk.

[mariacallous]

[oneheadtoanother]

are you lost little boy

[oneheadtoanother]

This is so much funnier than my caption, dammit

[mullet-man05]

I'm right where I want to be

[mullet-man05]

Also hey you cut off the part where I support the Oregon Ducks. We just beat UW a few hours ago, sco Ducks!

[i-am-shitpost]

[mullet-man05]

Lmfaoooo this is hilarious

[wizardshark]

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

[saspitite]

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING

[liberalsarecool]

We are an occupied country. Isreal is running MAGA. You can't even criticize Israel.

[alexa-santi-author]

One of these days, everyone on the left who didn’t vote or voted third party because of “Genocide Joe” and “Holocaust Harris” are going to realize the FSB and IDF deliberately platformed and amplified Gaza to get Trump elected. And then it will dawn on them that Netanyahu refused every ceasefire proposal to boost Trump’s chances of winning the election.

And it worked great! Netanyahu and Putin got exactly what they wanted from Americans.

That’s why they’re feeding you the “AIPAC controls all American politicians” narrative, by the way. They want to make sure Trump has no effective opposition.

[presidentkamala]

^^^^ Liberalsarecool is atp a compromised account. This post is also antisemitic and no fucking wonder bc they're screenshotting thomas fucking massie - MAGA and Trump in particular are known to have been boosted and aided by the FSB from the BEGINNINGGGG and netanyahu's subsequent opportunism should not be mistaken for that.

[bill-blake-fans-anonymous]

Stephen King’s Fujo

[kungfunurse]

yeah @sunderwight these tags are gold

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[ftmtftm]

Sometimes I really want to take everyone under the age of 24 (as of 2026) by the shoulders and say:

"I'm really sorry that lockdown and the ongoing pandemic interrupted pivotal educational and social/emotional development moments for you. You have an uphill battle towards adjusting to a lot of community based efforts because you experienced a mass trauma during an incredibly important time in your life where you should have physically been around your peers learning to engage in shared community. There is no "but" here, I'm genuinely really sorry. Something many of us consider key points in our interpersonal growth as youths was taken from you, not without reason but without care for its impact on you. I hope you know we are eternally allies in our struggles and if that is something you struggle to know I hope you can learn it someday."

Because so many of the angriest, most disenfranchised people I see on this website are under 24 and I often try to put younger people's behavior in the context of where they might have been 2020. I've seen the impact on my siblings and their peers+friends first hand, all ages 18-24. We've talked about how its impacted them, the isolation, the attachment to the internet, the anxieties and phobias and fears it developed in them due to the pandemic, the political unrest, and the responses to both that we've seen since. I know they're not the only ones and I know how much being marginalized also influences that impact too.

It's terrifying. I know it must be terrifying for a lot of the young people on Tumblr too. I hope one day we're able to bridge all of those complex feelings into something collective and positive so we can do our best to prevent similar traumas from happening to future generations.

[captain-price-returns]

Ukrainian drones armed with a Big Stick smack Russian FPV strike drones near Kherson, courtesy of the 39th Marine Brigade. Published 29 May 2026

[captain-price-returns]

This is what Teddy Roosevelt was talking about btw

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

I need the HRT (hostage rescue team) to rescue me from the overthinking holding me back from HRT (hormone replacement therapy)

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

You got it boss, sending in CATGIRL Team 6

[changeling-automaton]

Sending in the MTF MTF (male-to-female mobile task force)

[bacony-cakes]

sending in this

[thediam0ndt]

bacony what even is this fascinating and unusual car

[bacony-cakes]

officially it's a "fuji cabin" but i just call it the gormless automobile

[kingbuffy]

Frank Oz and Jim Henson ad-lib as Fozzie and Kermit in this test footage for the first Muppet movie, and honestly it's pure gold.

[evanelleonyx]

This is a professional shitpost roleplay.

[annabellioncourt]

I’m crying becuase this is something I’ve never seen before, something original of that era of the Muppets with both Oz and Henson working on one of my favorite movies, but also becuase this is the funniest thing I have seen in mONTHS.

[urfavhatesterfs]

this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

This is the cutest thing ever. Godzilla says trans rights.

[kitt-the-werefox]

GODZILLA OFFICIAL???

[sciencebees]

[cpericardium]

[imjunebitch]

having an actual consistent set of morals in a vibe-based world full of people who say they have a "strong sense of justice" as shorthand for "I get really pissy when I don't get what I want" is kinda exhausting lol

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. If you’re experiencing a time loop in which you’re repeating the month of June over and over, that’s totally intentional. We at Aperture Science felt that pride month was not long enough and so we created this loop to let employees experience as much pride as they feel like. To get out of this loop, simply use the pod labeled “Time Machine” in Shaft 6 and then either kill or save the baby on the other end depending on when in the loop you’re on. Don’t worry about the baby’s identity, he grows up to be an asshole.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, happy to announce that our Rainbow Gel project was a massive success. We have developed distinct gels in every color of the rainbow pride flag. In fact, it was too much of a success, so we’ll be updating our pride flag accordingly to include 75 new colors corresponding to all of our new gels. Word of advice, though, don’t stare at the flag for too long, most of these colors haven’t been tested on human eyes yet.”

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, Cave Johnson queer. Get used to it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Caroline just informed me that I am her “beard”. I checked, and I fail to see how I could possibly have grown out of her face. If anybody knows anything about human-to-facial hair transmogrification, please report to my office.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Friendly reminder that Aperture employees living prior to the legalization of gay marriage are invited to use our Aperture Science Temporal Matrimony Pod in order to travel to the future with your same-sex partner and get married there. Employees from the future who wish to return to a time before gay people being able to marry are also welcome to use the pod and we’ll make sure to send you to an era well before gay marriage. I’m thinking maybe Late Cretacesous.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m proud to announce that our plan to hire only female test subjects to prevent them from flirting with our female scientists has been a resounding failure.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m afraid we’ll have to temporarily pause all experimentation with the Gender Affirmation Beam. The testing itself is going great, the beam is working. But we’re starting to run out of thigh high socks and khaki shorts.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johson here. Shafts 10 through 14 are currently under lockdown due to a meltdown in the Neopronoun Syntheizer. The transphobes up in DC might call that ‘a disaster in the making’ but I call it a win for diversity! That being said most of these pronouns are radioactive so do watch out.”

[charlesoberonn]

Cave Johnson here. If you feel a sudden sense of elation and contentness when putting on your new Aperture Science unisex uniform, that is not Gender Euphoria! That’s a hallucinogenic fungus taking over your brain. Take the uniform off immediately and throw it in the nearest incinerator.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I won’t tolerate any misgendering of the interdimensional invaders swarming the facility! Their pronouns are they/them and we’re ought to respect that. We’re also ought to shoot them on sight since they’re extremely hostile and bent on enslaving our planet.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all of my suitors and secret admirers: Thank you, honestly I’m flattered. Unfortunately for you, I don’t swing that way. Or any way. I only swing where the wrecking ball of science takes me. Usually into a brick wall.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve been thinking. We have gay pride, and we have gender envy. What other deadly sins can we incorporate? Maybe bisexual sloth? Lesbian wrath? I’ll talk to the lab boys about it.”

“Cave Johnson here. Update: The Lesbian Wrath project is postponed indefinitely. My condolences to the families of the deceased. Though let’s be honest, they probably had it coming.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. For the last time! “I’m reclaiming the slur” is not a valid excuse to shout out loud the killer androids’ activation codes! We picked that word for a reason.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’d like to apologize to Floor 194 Safety Supervisor Doug Blakely for firing him after allegations that he was forcing employees back in the closet. I was not aware that said closet was a literal storage closet for zombified Aperture employees. To make it up to Doug, he’ll be allowed to feed Floor 194 HR Manager Lisa Briant to the closet zombies if he so chooses.”

[charlesoberonn]

”Cave Johnson here. A reminder that next year Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Extradimensional Day of Visibility. The lab boys are cautioning me to caution you to be prepared. Do not confuse transgender and transdimensional! Big mistake.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all cishet Aperture employees who volunteered for the ‘Get More Woke’ program, please report to your department’s OR at the nearest convenience to get the alarm clocks surgically removed from your spinal cord. Aperture Science apologizes for the misunderstanding.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Dr. Barnaby from Cyborg Engineering is an attack helicopter. That’s not a transphobic joke, by the way, they literally transformed themselves into an amalgam of human and helicopter. Impressive. Unauthorized, of course, but still impressive. Anyway, we lost track of them, so everyone watch the sky for a mad scientist with blue rotors and machine guns.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To the joker who added ‘make the sun gay’ to our quarterly agenda, I hope you’re pleased with yourself. The Astrophysics Department is tearing itself apart with half of them shouting that you can’t make the sun gay and the other half screaming that the sun is already gay. Either way, we’re not doing it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. The congressional delegation of Senator Patrick Johnson (no relation) to inspect our facilities had to be cut short due to a mishap with the Gender Affirmation Beam. I’d like to apologize on behalf of Aperture Science to Senator Johnson and her staff.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Just the other day, our sign guy asked me ‘Cave, don’t you think LGBTQIA2S+ is a tad too long?’ and I told him ‘First of all, that’s Mr. Johnson to you! And secondly, I actually think it’s not long enough!’ and that’s why I’m adding an ’&’ to the acronym. Don’t know what it stands for yet, but I’ll figure it out.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. You already know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about gender affirming care. We’ve been at the forefront of hormone replacement therapy since before we knew what these hormones do. You also know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about not getting sued. So everyone be quiet about our role in the Estrogen Cola disaster.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. So far, we received 832 submissions to our Homophobia Remover design competition. Unfortunately, 829 had to be disqualified for being a schematic of a gun. Objectively hilarious, but not what we’re looking for. Wait, the lab boys just got another submission: and… it’s another gun. Keep at it, folks.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Using a set of genetically identical triplets and a molecular combinizer, we just proved scientifically that being bisexual isn’t the same as being half-straight and half-gay. Now we just need to figure out how to separate Craigstopher back into his component brothers.”

[toopunktofuck]

ayn rand failing to understand that sesame street is for young children

[threegoatsinatrenchcoat-deactiv]

god this is missing the best part JIM HENSON I think Ms. Rand and my character Oscar the Grouch would have a lot to talk about actually. I am laughing out loud at this idea. AYN RAND Why would I want to talk to him. What has he achieved or trying to achieve. JIM HENSON He has achieved what I think is the ultimate goal of your way of thinking.

[threegoatsinatrenchcoat-deactiv]

lmao

[tallulahshorts]

Savage

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I can’t believe I never knew that Jim Henson straight up murdered Ayn Rand. 

[nonbino-chaos-fox]

[Image descriptions: two screenshots of a transcript of a conversation.

Yoko Ono: My favourite is Big Bird. He is so tall and gentle.

Ayn Rand: To be honest I find it to be senseless entertainment. I prefer the celebration of men and what they can achieve.

Jim Henson: Do you have children Ms Rand?

Ayn Rand: What do children have to do with what I prefer? /ID end]

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

I would fuckin ROCK a maid dress

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

10000 notes and I post a pic of me wearing a maid dress

[gus-offical]

@tagging-officals-offical

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

I swear to god if I wake up tomorrow to 10000 comments

[frogblast-the-ventcore]

i follow u bc battletech and other good posts and youre also normal in a good way which is really refreshing

Thanks!

Most of my Battletech stuff is actually over on my sideblog nowadays: @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not

[nevertrustasmilingnid]

............................................................

Ngl, thought ya'll were different people till right 'bout now.

[frogblast-the-ventcore]

Lol