it dawns on you rather quickly, there's only so much time left - only so many star-filled nights, snow falls, brisk fall afternoons, rainy midsummer days. so how you conduct yourself, and do your work matters. how you treat your friends, your family, your lover. on good days, a blessing falls over you, it wraps its arms around you and you're free, and deeply in and of this world. that's your reward, being here. that's what gets you up the next morning. a new chance to receive that benediction while you're buttering your toast, getting dressed, or driving home from work. you stumble into those moments where you can feel the hand of god gently rest upon your shoulder, and you realize how lucky you are. lucky to be alive, lucky to be breathing in this world of beauty, horror, and hope, because this is what there is - a chance, a world where it's lucky to love, lucky to be loved. so you go, until it fills you. until the sweat, blood, and hard tears make sense. you go until the light from the fading distant stars fall at your feet.