I haven't always known I am a Fallen Angel, and its taken even longer to feel worthy to call myself that. I find myself in an environment though where to be a Fallen Angel is perhaps the only way I can be me at all. I've let myself go. I've become a creature that I feel ashamed to be and I let the world sit on my shoulders as I go about my day so much so that the weight has become like Quasimodo's back lump and I myself hunch and shy away from the world as if I am afraid of others, but how can this be? I've been so focused on looking after everyone else even trying to save the world (and I did have an impact I know it!) and so I guess I know that underneath all this blubber and hiding myself, I know that I am so much more than what I've let myself become.
This entry is the first of my declaration to transform myself into something/anything like who I truly am. I understand who to listen to and who gets through to me in ways no others can. I know how to honour my father and mother and I know how to be the best I can be. Now its a case of putting all this into action and I'm hoping this blog will showcase the developments from what I am now........to who I truly am!
To get back to my true self and create my life just how it needs to be, I've taken up guitar to pour my energy and remaining darkness into so that I can use my voice to support those already on the frontlines in defending and protecting our sacred home from anymore destruction or persecution of any kind. It'll be clear from the songs I chose to learn who I am dedicating this musical journey to. So stay tuned for uploads of songs I've been able to learn and you can tell me what you think!
I'm also going to be focusing on undoing the damage I've done to myself physically through trying to become as unattractive as possible to repel unwanted masculine attention in an environment where I'm like a sitting duck with the wings clipped, though I am still proud to be called a duck, this strategy doesn't work either because its only your lady parts they want and they'll do anything to get to them so theres was no point making myself ugly for their sake afterall., infact it makes you more attractive because nobody will believe you if you cry sexual harassment.
 I've got exercise dvds coming which will be the start of getting my shit together and working through from trauma from my past inspired by the most legendary female inspiration I have ever heard of whether she is fiction or not. I will be forgetting my age and returning to a level of fitness that will mean I can protect myself from any kind of physical attack and even protect other women who are in a threatening situation. I am also getting a gymnastics bar put up in the garden that will take me back to my early childhood days and be a way of challenging the progress I've made in fitness program as I've always admired flexibility as a strength in a male or female physique and it aids the body in being able to recover from any kind of injury.
So this is the basic plan and as I get into things I'll have a weekly timetable to ensure I can focus on these personal development plans as well as the commitments that give me wings in the first place and a leg to stand on calling myself a Fallen Angel.
I hope that the transformations will inspire others to recognise how they can turn their darkness into bright lights and be strong against discrimination and stand on my own two feet regardless of the situation or circumstances I find myself in.
Goodluck to you and your journey, I hope you feel inspired by the tranformations here but even if nobody else sees this, its somewhere I can keep a blog on my personal efforts to improve my quality of life and overall health so that I can be in the driving seat of my own life and be the creature God would have me be.
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