A fantasy based on reality

So here's banter based on fantasy.

[nefaegis]

ffxv week: ( day 5 ) Noctis Lucis Caelum ↳ “ Wherever you should go, the line of Lucis goes with you. Walk tall, my son.” - Regis Lucis Caelum CXIII // insp.

[falseffxvbanter]

Fandom: Tabata please put Nyx in the game

Tabata: *puts Nyx's corpse hanging from the ceiling*

Fandom: FUCK YOU

[falseffxvbanter]

Libertus: Is Nyx around?

Crowe: Yeah, he's upstairs.

Libertus: Could you tell him I'm here?

Crowe: Yeah, no problem. *shouting upstairs* NYX! LIBERTUS IS HERE!

Libertus: Well, I could've done that.

Crowe: Then what did you ask me for?

[falseffxvbanter]

Ignis: What are you doing?

Noctis: I'm taking out the avocado.

Ignis: Since when don't you like avocado?

Noctis: Since I said "Gross, what's that?" and you said "Avocado."

[falseffxvbanter]

Libertus: Hey, I've got a message from Commander Drautos. He said "don't die under my command. You're enough of a pain without the paperwork." That was it.

Nyx: Tell him "Fine. There's no way I'm dying before you do, you morally bankrupt Commander with a god complex."

[falseffxvbanter]

Ravus has a great sense of humor. Or at least a really funny lack of one.

Ardyn Izunia

[falseffxvbanter]

Libertus: What's this?

Nyx: Change of address.

Libertus: For who?

Nyx: Me.

Libertus: Oh, I, I don't think I even have your old address.

Nyx: Well, now you have my new one.

Libertus: I feel like we've grown closer together.

Nyx: Okay, give it back.

[falseffxvbanter]

Nyx: About a month ago, Crowe and I slept together.

Libertus: And?

Nyx: I thought you would be a little more shocked.

Libertus: Oh, sorry. *in a shocked voice* And?!

[falseffxvbanter]

Prompto: Let's Thelma and Louise this thing.

Noctis: Great.

Ignis: Thelma and Louise drove off a cliff, so... be careful.

[falseffxvbanter]

Prompto: I like women. I like sleeping with women. I like the way that they smell, I like the way that they..the feel of their skin. I like their bird-like voices... I mean, does that sound gay?

Noctis: Nope, that sounds like a serial killer.

[falseffxvbanter]

Noctis: Am I in trouble?

King Regis: Have a guess.

Noctis: No?

King Regis: Have another guess.

[falseffxvbanter]

Ravus: Stop talking.

Ardyn: You know I'm not good at that.

[falseffxvbanter]

Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.

Crowe Altius

[falseffxvbanter]

Libertus: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

Nyx: And for punching me in the face, right?

Libertus: No. You definitely deserved that.

[falseffxvbanter]

Before I do anything I ask myself, 'would Nyx do this?' and if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

Libertus Ostium

[falseffxvbanter]

Crowe: Weren’t you frightened?

Libertus: Frightened? Crowe, you’re talking to a guy who’s laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe. I was petrified.

[falseffxvbanter]

Gladiolus: Look at the broken branches on this side of the trail. Deadeye has doubled back on us.

Prompto: Wait, you think it knows we're hunting it?

Gladiolus: No, I think it's hunting us.

Prompto: Oh, THAT'S good! ... no, I-I prefer it much more the other way around.