Poet M. P.

Hi! Im Orion, She/They. Spotify: Poet 💚 Honestly im not in really anywhere but here 16.5

[fandompoet]

Intro

I post a lot about my life so u should probably get to know me. Hi, you can call me Orion or Poet: she/they. I’m bi and on the asexual spectrum, confusingly not single? Im also chronically ill and can’t shut up about it.

I use this blog as my personal- reblogs, journal entry posts my life sometimes poetry I have another account but I don’t use it very often: @orion1418! Im on Spotify too so you can see the soundtrack to my life.

I am in a lot of fandoms, shameless, tadc, spn, osemanverse, riordanverse, marauders, stranger things, bat family, marvel, sabrina, and probably a lot more I can’t think of right now.

I am always free to talk if you need ANYTHING dm me anytime.

Love you all 🩷

[fandompoet]

Dear friend,

Had a drive through interaction today that had me driving away thinking, stupid stupid stupid, you socially awkward alien

It went something like this,

At the new chain coffee shop right by my house pull up and there is a very attractive man at the window

“Hi, how are you today”

“I’m good how are you”

“good, you have plans today?”

“*loud noises from the main road right behind us* I got my hair cut today :)”

“what?”

“I got my hair cut today”

“oh, it looks very nice”

“thank you, how’s your day going”

“good”

*silence from me as he tells the other workers that he is trying to get the AC fixed this week*, he mutters, “I’m hot”

*awkward silence*

He asks, “well, do you have any plans for the rest of the day?”

“*loud noises from the main road right behind us* yeah, I think I’m gonna go pick up my sister”

“What?”

“I think I’m gonna go pick up my sister”

“Oh is she at the airport?”

“Well, she lives by the airport”

“Pretty cool I guessed that.”

*I awkwardly smile as we sit in more silence*

He asks, “have you been to *this chain coffee shop* before?”

“Yes”

*I say this knowing I’ve been like 3 times total*

“Oh, what’s your home store”

“This one.”

“Oh I’ve never seen you before?”

“I go to the one by my school most often but this one is closest to my house”

“Cool, cool, you go to *local university*?”

“No, I’m still in High school .”

“Oh, you go to *local highschool*.”

“No…. I um go to private school.”

“Oh. Ok. Well, here’s your drink”

“Thanks have a nice day.”

Genuinely idk why it was so so so bad but it was and I wanted to shrivel up and die. So I texted sphinx.

I thought she would say something like, yeah… you need to get out of the house. But instead she said what’s pictured in the screenshot. Usually when I talk about other people she gets kind of guarded and a little what I would consider jealous but this time she was totally down for it. But also this is the texting tone so maybe she is feeling feelings about it. I feel a little odd about me being a human right now. Maybe I’m just losing it.

[fandompoet]

Dear friend,

Yesterday was good even though I still felt like crap, I wish the summer didn’t try to kill me. We went into town and shopped. Everyone but sphinx and I got coffee and then we went and looked at some rock stores, I LOVE ROCKS. Then we looked at clothing stores for PJ and sunglasses stores for sphinx. SB wanted cookies so we went and got cookies and then everyone but me got ice cream. But I stole a bite of sphinx’s. A really dainty bite tbh, and then I made a joke about not putting my mouth on things that have had other peoples mouths on them and sphinx smirked at me. At this point though I couldn’t really hear or pay attention so I was sitting down I walked away and came back, I was thinking about just standing but then sphinx looked at me and pointed to the bench and told me to sit, so obviously I did. Then our other friends left for a sec and she tried to see if she could make me feel better, made sure I’d eaten and drank water or if it was walking or just the heat. Then when I answered she smiled and said, “are you lying” I was not lying. We went to the grocery store again and then came home. I slept for half an hour while sphinx cooked, she made enchiladas, I usually hate Mexican food but they were really good. Then we played cards against humanity, again. Made cookies, very good. Then we watched Les miserables because MH hadn’t seen it. I slept through most of the middle ngl, it was like midnight and we were watching a movie in the dark what did you expect. Then we went to bed at like 2:30. It included less cuddling but still rolling into each other when we moved. It was like 3 am when we finally were ready for bed and sphinx and I were both a little over stimulated so we decided not to snuggle, or touch for that matter. But I was on the end of the bed which meant if we weren’t gonna touch I was gonna be 65% off the bed. Which was fine but my hips were already hurting so I was struggling falling asleep. My hips, my butt, and like half of my arms were off the bed and I was on my side facing sphinx but like no touchy. 10-15 minutes like this and she elbowed me and said, “are you on” and I said, “yes” and then she whispered, “come closer” so I pulled myself fully on the bed and curled into her. That was comfy but then she rolled to her side and as stated yesterday I genuinely cannot bear to stare into her soul while I try and fall asleep. I rolled the other way and basically sphinx big spooned but like sardine style, touching on body but no arms around each other. We fell asleep like that. As we moved throughout the night we stayed touching at least a little bit. Either spooning, one way or the other, or me curled into her. She smiles a lot in her sleep, it’s really cute actually. We all slept in this morning, noon 💀.

[fandompoet]

Dear friend,

Yesterday was a doozy in the ‘dating’/sphinx situation.

The friends and I are up on a girls trip! I got picked up yesterday then we picked sphinx. I had to sit in the back bc MH had a ton of shit in her car and sphinx has long legs and wouldn’t fit. *running theme* then we met the other friends and got in PJ’s car bc it has three rows. SB called shotgun which meant that I as the second smallest I was doomed to the 3rd row. We went to lunch and I whacked my head on the car roof, twice. Only me and sphinx were eating there so we walked in and I was going to the bathroom, didn’t announce it for once. sphinx goes, “where are you going” so for the first time she had the awkward answer of “I’m going to the bathroom.” Instead of me. Then we went back to the car where I tried to sleep bc I felt like shit. But bc of the energy drinks I couldn’t, I put my dead AirPods in so I didn’t have to talk and closed my eyes. When we arrived to where we going- grocery store first, sphinx told me that I looked really uncomfortable but peaceful, how long was she watching me sleep? Anyways. Then we got to the house and I laid on the floor for like an hour bc I thought I was dying. Couldn’t speak or use my body. Then me and sphinx played pool and hung out, looked at yearbooks. Then we had dinner and played a card game where we sat next to each other and touched knees. Then we went and sat in the hot tub as a group, where we played Fuck Marry Kill and different variations. We went around and did kiss, marry, take a bullet for of our friends. Me and sphinx both said we would kiss each other- previously decided a kiss would be a full make out sesh. We would marry our best friends, they were both there. Then we decided to all sleep in one king sized bed, all five of us. I was on the end of the bed bc I knew I wouldn’t fall off. Sphinx slept next to me. I shit you not we fell asleep spooning- she was the big spoon bc she hated me big spooning, three seconds until no no no, im big spooning. Also, holding hands. Spooning and holding hands fully pressed into eachother. She said something about holding back a lot of things she wanted to say, then I said, hit me. She said, my mouth is really close to you right now. I said yeah, that’s why we can’t sleep face to face, especially after today’s Kiss Marry Kill answers, could be bad. She said, could be really good. We said some other stuff too but I was a little more confused than I was before. And we both rolled in the night but kept moving into eachother. It was nice. Last week One of my friends said, “I look at you guys a lot and think, they are dating and they don’t know it.” I’ve been thinking about that, Idk. A LOT of people think we are dating. I’m just confused. Thoughts?

[fandompoet]

Some poetry esk thing I wrote tonight

Spiralling

Dont.

Just don’t.

I’ll never be normal.

Don’t stick around.

Don’t listen

Don’t care.

Don’t touch me.

Don’t hold me.

Even if it’s all I want.

Even if I beg.

Know I’ll push away.

Know I’ll sabotage it somehow.

I always do.

I thought I was better

I thought I could take up space

I thought I wasn’t worried about being a burden anymore.

I was wrong

I was wrong about it all.

Maybe I was wrong about you too

Maybe you didn’t fix me.

Maybe no one can.

Maybe I’ll be stuck in this loop forever.

Forever unable to be loved.

Just the broken useless husk of who I wish I could be.

I’m not good enough for you

Even if you say the opposite

I’m not even good enough for me. Why do you think I’m worth it.

Just stop worrying about me.

That’s how’s it’s always been.

That’s how it’s supposed to be.

Right?

[fandompoet]

Dear friend,

Update on my life - mostly family/living situation

Basically I hate my family. I haven’t been home more than 7 days in the past 3 weeks. I stay at the VW house most often.

My grandma is mad that I’m gone but then is mad when I get home but also glad that I’m gone? Idk It’s fucking confusing.

My grandpa is a fight picker and just an old grumpy asshole. So I’m not home when he’s home a lot.

I want KV’s mom to adopt me, but I know that isn’t gonna happen.

I’ve felt so angry inside idk sometimes I say things or I write or draw things and I can tell it’s just anger seeping out of me.

But being at the VW house also makes me feel happy and calm so I’ve felt less of the anger.

I’ve felt very creative but had no motivation to actually create like ideas galore but no physical stamina.

I’ve started going to the gym but it hi-key makes me feel like shit so idk.

I think I’m gonna get a job within the next 3 days. Makes 21 an hour payed bi weekly. I already have a job, work sundays but only 3 hours a week 20 an hour and get payed monthly. I need more money.

I’m pretty tired, all the time. But I’ve noticed I am a hard sleeper at the VW house and fall asleep whenever my body needs it, no fight or slight response.

KV is gone rn so I have to be home. I miss her.

I also miss interning for TD, I just miss talking with him. I think it’s bc I don’t really have any male figures in my life outside of school it’s like QTW and TD. They are two of my biggest mentors and the summer months without them is kind of hard tbh.

I haven’t been to the H house in a while, I miss MH and LH but honestly their house is just as chaotic as mine and it kinda stresses me out.

I think that’s all I got for right now, if you have questions, u can always ask and I will expand ❤️ It’s getting hot so don’t forget water, salt, and food.

Love you

6/2/26

[fandompoet]

Ok, yap sesh.

As you know I hate being at home. I have spent less than 7 nights at home in the past 3 weeks. I’ve been mostly at one persons house. Their house is nice and quiet and they are one of my closest friends. This is great and amazing and I love their family, except… We keep getting asked if we’re dating.

Which I don’t think we are. We are very stable, or atleast we were, in our dynamic but it’s very confusing to other people. We go places one on one, dressed as we usually dress (we both look really gay) which makes random people think we’re dating. I have some of their clothes (hoodies) that I wear which makes my family think we’re dating. We cuddle or like stay touching each other when we watch shows and movies in public and private which makes our friends think we’re dating. We both have a hard time denying it when we get asked because we are both the kind of people to sarcastically say yes. So the other day their mom was talking about them going to college and I made a joke about them not being allowed to have personal growth. I want them to come back the same, personal growth means maybe they will come back and not like me anymore, I said this as a joke. We then were talking about some of our friends and if they are gonna be able to make long distance work. But then their mom said something about us not dating so it’s gonna be fine, we both laughed kind of awkwardly. Which we laughed about later but it kind of got me a little anxious their mom thinks we’re dating. When I brought it up they said that their mom knows about their kind of sort of ex girlfriend so she won’t think anything. But like that’s a whole other issue. They had a girlfriend for just over 6 months I think but then they tried to break up with said girlfriend but it didn’t really work so they tried again 2x but now they aren’t dating. But like the girl still calls them her girlfriend I think? But they think they are just friends? So idk. I’m not trying to be the other girl. But like they aren’t dating? But kind of are?

Now I’m super confused bc idk what they think or what I think and there are times where we definitely flirt but maybe that’s just us being friends? But maybe it’s more? But like we are both ace so what would dating include more than what we already are besides like maybe holding hands or saying a pet name every once in a while.

I can imagine living the rest of my life with them but not dating them but like they’re a piece of my soul or maybe, but like no. Idk bro queer relationships are kind of confusing.

[rrrrraquelle]

When people are around each other enough, they inevitably pick up each other's mannerisms.

The same is true, possibly more so, for two people trapped on a spaceship together for the rest of their lives.

I like to think you and Ryland both have glasses.

The first time you saw him pull his glasses down instead of pushing them on top of his head like everyone else does, your only thought was "What the hell"

Now, you've grown fond of it. You smile the first time you catch yourself doing that same motion.

The first time Ryland saw you crack your back during a meeting, he thought his students doing that in class, grief twisting in his chest at the memories.

Now, he still thinks of his students, but with a particular fondness, both for you and them.

Maybe you're from another country, and the two of you pick up each other's slang words and expressions, and you teach him your native language.

Maybe you're there as a medic. You start to teach him everything you know, and he does the same for you.

Maybe you're religious, and you pray every so many times a day. Ryland doesn't pray with you, but he feels distinctly off if he doesn't take those breaks with you.

At a certain point, the two of you just start sharing everything on the ship. Clothes, drinks, food. You start using each other's laptops, not seeing the point in having two different ones. Each of you two's headphones/earbuds are connected to the other's devices and you share those too. The mattresses get taken out of the beds and shoved together on the floor somewhere. You share each other's space too, constantly touching and wedged halfway on top of the other.

Rocky sees it too. He doesn't say Grace and you, he says Graceandyou. One word. One person.

When the two of you settle down on Erid, it's the same as it was on the ship, just a little more intentional. Everything is shared. The two of you thrive off each other.

Ryland teaches about science. You work with Eridani medics and help expand your own knowledge on medicine as well as theirs. You both teach about earth and humans.

You're not sure exactly when you and Ryland began to move and live and breathe and think as though the two of you are one and the same, but you can't find it in you to care. Maybe it's always been this way. Maybe the two of you were destined for the stars all along, two halves of one being.

MASTERLIST

PROJECT HAIL MARY MASTERLIST

[fandompoet]

Mmmm Gracee

[lynlynthewise]

Literally rubbing salt in the wound

[fandompoet]

No date yet. But like…. In love. Deeply.

[clleanlliness]

life is too short to spend it at war with yourself

[lennyjamin]

spoke deeply to me.

[fandompoet]

Dear friend,

This weekend was very good, I had tech rehearsal for this dumb MS thing but then I had our theatre banquet. Attached is a photo of me in my dress, plus a few of my friends :). I’m now copresident of our ITS troupe for any nerd who cares. I won 3rd place in the art show too not that it matters. After the banquet I went to PJ’s house and hung out for a while, ate ice cream with my friends, PJ, SB, MH, and KV. MJ was also there, PJ’s little brother, idk if I’ve talked about him. Saturday I slept in bc I was out late then I had the MS showcase thing, well sat at school for 5.5 hours then the showcase. It was not my finest work but TD made it feel ok, then I had a cast party for the musical I was apart of a just over a month ago. It was lots of fun. Hung with same people - SB + QTW. Played a game called blood on the clock tower. One of my favorites!! Then we watched the recording of our show and me and KV cuddled. It was great honestly. Me and KV left after intermission and I spent the night at her house. She slept on the couch with me and we just talked for an hour or two. I had to leave her house by 9 though to be at work so that was a lot. Getting up and getting ready at hers on like no sleep before going across town to work was kind of brutal. But I saw her whole family and it was nice. They are like my third family bc no one can replace the H family. Had a huge fight with my grandpa so I’m at the H house spending atleast a few days. Not sure when I’ll go back. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not.

Love you all sleep well, drink some water

5/18/26

[fandompoet]

Fuck I have been meaning to post this but keep forgetting.

Dear friend,

Tuesday was a great day. Like a solid 5/5 day.

It was PL’s birthday and I got them some stuff. I made cookies and I felt very good about it. I made like 4 dozen so I gave some to TD too. PL seemed to be having a hard day so I felt bad but I think I helped make their day a little better.

One of adults at school wants me to go to therapy. So she made me see the counseling intern, G. I’ve known her like 6 years I think but it’s still annoying. They are pulling me from TD’s class which is even worse.

School generally was fine nothing crazy. Well, I did have an AP exam but it was chill.

Then it was theatre. I got there at. 3:15 like I was supposed to do but then I wasn’t needed until later so I went and talked with KV until like 4:30. MH brought me Chick-fil-A which I didn’t eat until 9:30 but that was fine.

Rehearsal was a mess and I ended up doing the show fader by fader which undid all the work I did on Monday but it’s fine. We ended at 7 which was great. I spent most of the time figuring things out or yelling at middle school boys. Or I guess kindly guiding them while I was mentally yelling at them.

After rehearsal and demicing whatnot I sat in the booth and changed the stuff I needed to. I offered to come early Wednesday to change it but TD said I don’t bother him and I could stay. BT the middle school director came up and helped program while gave me advice. Shes one of my biggest hype people, and as someone who went to college (she graduated Friday 🎉) for the arts she gave good advice with a little input from TD.

After a few hours of this around 9:30 I was like, I’m gonna leave. Only bc I had said I was “leaving soon” at 9:10 and then I got to the door and BT was like “Orion :(“ so I said that it was just driving my stick home in the snow in the dark that stressed me a little. And was like… you drive stick? I was like yeah. And she told me I was very cool, we talked for another half an hr.

After I lowk tried convincing myself they didn’t want me there but the fact BT stopped me was so sweet and then I sat back down and TD jokingly goes, looks like leaving is going well. So then I felt better.

That’s a lot of yapping so I’ll make another post for the rest of this weeks highlights and lowlights.

Love you!!

[fandompoet]

Dear friend,

I’m losing it rn. In a situation rn and getting different advice from different people idk what to do bc nothing seems quite right. The thing I thought would work is currently kind of hard to put into practice. I literally don’t know what to do. This isn’t how I thought this last two months of school would go and I’m not really sure how I feel. Good and bad things.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[fandompoet]

Oh also. Here’s a blog post!

Dear friend,

Hi!

My day was good actually like a 4.5/5. I was late to my first class bc I had to go get my pictures from Walgreens for our schools art show. Then I got Starbucks and parking this morning was a nightmare. I didn’t get counted tarty tho so that was awesome.

I got to listen to my music in both my first two classes and that was pretty epic. Meant I didn’t have to interact with other ppl. tho, I did actually have some nice interactions.

I talked to PL and EN in 6th ofc. It was nice, block days mean long convos.

Then we had chapel which was fine I guess. nothing crazy. Though the mix was kind of bad on the audio side of things and PC was running slides. he thought he did bad, which he lowkey did but he’s fragile so I told him he did a good job. So tech in general kinda sucked which always irks me.

After that we had to do an assignment before we could go do actually important stuff but the server deleted it so I had to start over.

When I finally finished that I got to go sit in peace and banter with TD. He helped me pick my art show pics bc I printed a few extra I liked and then I matted them. We talked for like an hour then PC came back and we talked for a bit.

After school I had the best theater practice I’ve had in the longest time. It was just me MH, KV, PJ, and for a little bit this kid HD. But mostly it was just us girls and that’s my main friend group though obviously SB wasn’t there. It meant that we got to be get stuff done while also talking and being goofy.

We ended early and aft figuring out some stuff for our show, me and KV get to MC it. KV drove me to my car and we had a nice “car convo”

I’ve been texting PL since school was over and it’s been nice. Today was great I hope it continues to be so. *knock on wood*

MH, KV, and I are going on a band trip tm and I’m pretty thrilled. LC, BV, and EB will also be there among others. I have to pack and be at school early which I’m kind of reading but I know it’s gonna be great.

Anyways, love you guys!!

Drink some water, eat real food, and sleep if you need it.

4/22/26