Edward: so now that Iām marrying Bella Iām finally going to be able to enjoy a night with her but Iām a little confused on what to do :/
Emmett whoās had a presentation prepared since the 1940s:
we're not kids anymore.

titsay
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Xuebing Du
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trying on a metaphor
Sade Olutola

Product Placement

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izzy's playlists!

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@fandomsanarchy
Edward: so now that Iām marrying Bella Iām finally going to be able to enjoy a night with her but Iām a little confused on what to do :/
Emmett whoās had a presentation prepared since the 1940s:
actually heres an addendum
If I may remind everyone
Source
Source 2
Source 3
IM WHEEZING
Michael B. Jordan Black Panther dir. Ryan Coogler, 2018
I want an inverse spy flick. The spy is a woman. Her whole team is made up of diverse women. All the villains are women. There is only one man in the entire movie and he is a Strong Male Character who is like 25 and decently ripped and has a scene where he slowly steps out of a pool wearing speedos because he is Confident and In Control of His Sexuality. We see his ass when he has to tug down his pants to get at the knife strapped to his thigh. His nipples are always erect for no fucking reason.
They are undercover in a nightclub. In order to keep their cover from being blown, he has to kiss another man.Ā
He knits to relieve stress and to keep his mind sharp. It is never discussed by any of the characters.Ā
Someone asks him how he knows how to do Traditionally Feminine Thing. āI have four sisters,ā he answers.
This is also how he knows how to fight while armed with nothing but a purse, a high heel shoe, and a can of hair spray.Ā During this fight, he is, for no apparent reason, shirtless.
The lead spy is Helen Mirren. She nails the Action Boy in the shower. Thereās a lot of lingering closeups on the way the shower spray runs across his breathlessly ecstatic face. We also hear every breathless whimper of his climax, while out in the hallway Lucy Liu is smoking impatiently, a duffel bag full of rocket launchers slung over her shoulder. The President isnāt going to kidnap herself, here, christ.Ā
Action Boy emerges in a small towel, sheepish yet radiant. Helen Mirren emerges in a tuxedo, also smoking, also with a duffel bag of rocket launchers.Ā
In one scene, the lead villain captures the Strong Male Character. He is, once more, inexplicably shirtless as she ties him to the chair. He makes some quips about his sexual independence before he is rescued by a sweat-drenched Helen Mirren, who kicks down the door and nukes everyone in the room. Strong Male Characterās hair remains perfect throughout the ordeal.Ā
Strong Male Character is heartlessly slain in front of Helen Mirrenās eyes despite all of his skills and combat prowess. His body slumps to the ground, lifeless but supple. Helen Mirren makes a witty quip at Strong Male Characterās killers before quickly and dramatically slaying them all.
She steals one last glance at Strong Male Character. His beautiful eyes stare back from a handsome face with perfectly tussled hair, lips positioned a if in a gentle sigh. Thereās no bringing him back now. Helen Mirren walks away, stronger than before. Strong Male Characterās death has hardened her, but given her the strength and resolve to complete her task.Ā
Roll credits.Ā
An after credits preview clip comes on as a teaser. Helen Mirren with a huge explosion tearing things up behind her walks toward the camera with a new Strong Male Character wearing the tiny, tattered remnants of a burned shirt about his flexing pecs and deltoids, and he is carrying the bag of rocket launchers as he steps in behind her.Ā
So Matt Bomer?
Iām seeing Matt Bomer
and then fandom burns itself to the ground trying to find some guy to slash him with
Nah, Matt Bomer is almost 40. Despite his good looks and great bod, heās way too old to play the shaggable romantic supporting character to 70-year-old Helen Mirren.
Matt Bomer plays Helen Mirrenās sadder-but-wiser ex, computer-savvy, gorgeous but still single, fiercely independent (but itās all an act).
Helen Mirren shows up on his doorstep to ask him for one last hacker job, for old timeās sake. Matt hauls off to slap Helen in the face, but Helen catches his wrist, pulls him close, and kisses him long and hard. Matt struggles at first but finally melts into her embrace.
Lucy Liu strolls past them into Mattās chic apartment, slapping Matt on the ass as she mutters āSome things never change, do they?ā
Late the next night, as Matt and Helen hack into the CIA database, Helen tucks a stray lock of Mattās hair behind his ear and asks him why thereās no husband or kids in the picture after all this time.
Matt turns his sad, beautiful eyes toward her and confesses that there has only ever been Helen for him, but he couldnāt stand never knowing if she would come back alive when she left on a mission. Helen and Matt nearly have a moment, but the computer beeps with the results of their search.
The next morning, Helen goes into the kitchen to find Mattās 20-year-old nephew has come to stay for the weekend. Helen and the camera slowly pan up and down his gorgeous, toned, oiled-up and glistening body as he stands, nearly-naked but for his tight, black satin booty-short underwear, and starts making a gourmet vegetarian omelet.
He turns around and smiles at Helen. āYou must be a friend of Uncle Matt. Iām Caden. You hungry?ā
Helenās eyes drift down to Cadenās bulging crotch. āOh, I could eat,ā she quips.
Helen Mirren and the actor who plays the 20 year old nephew get together in real life. Everyone is delighted by this.Ā
I donāt think financing this would be a problem; distribution probably would. We could hack into the network feed for the Super Bowl, perhaps.
I would watch this a million times
I love this so much Iām gonna illustrate it.
Here is @kehinkiās part 1
OK, seriously, why isnāt this movie already real?
Somewhere a male studio exec has woken up screaming in agony, and he doesnāt know why.Ā
this post wins ALL OF THE AWARDS
(after-credits sequence reveals Ming Na-Wen was the REAL mastermind all along, as she lights a cigar and puts her feet up on The Rockās naked, crouching form)
Time to arrange funding.
This kept going after I contributed, and it was completely worth it!
I nominate Chris Hemsworth as the Strong Male Lead who Dies To Inspire the Heroine (he was the Token Male in Ghostbusters 2016, but unlike Ghostbusters, this would be him playing the role completely seriously). Alternatively, Brett Dalton (Agents of SHIELD) as the Boy Next Door, the Villainās Eye Candy Enforcer that the Heroine seduces to the side of Good, or the āGood Guy Assistantā whoās actually the Villainās Mole. Or all three!!
Ravenclaw: Why are you so extra all the time?
Slytherin: *Slowly turns around in a rotating chair as their long cloak drags on the floor with their polished crown sitting on top their head. A cat is perched in their lap as their shiny, bejewelled, ring fingered hand pets it. The roar from the fireplace behind them casts an orange hue as the shadows darken their expression.* What do you mean?
Fiona Apple, 1997 MTV VMAs [X]
Test 6th year Minerva
Another late evening in the common room of Gryffindor
*mutters to herself*Ā āCome on, Minnie ! Thatās just bloody Transfigurationās basics !ā
āDammit !āĀ
((OOC: Hereās my first set of GIFs for 6th year Minerva McGonagall ! I always thought of young Minnie with short hair and an extreme frustration when finding trouble casting Transfigurationās spells. A huuuge thanks and virtual hug to @gentlect for the GIF-making tutorial !! Feel free to send me threads ideas and feedbacks ^^))
Reblog if you honestly have NEVER sent anon hate.
It pains me that only 14,000 people can honestly reblog this
GET TO KNOW ME MEME : [11/20] male characters ā³ The Eleventh Doctor (Doctor Who) Iām not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box.Ā
WE šDONāT š LIKE š THE š PAUL š BROTHERS š IN š THIS š HOUSE! š
December 31, 2017 is the only day where every adult was born in the 1900ās and everyone else under 18 was born in the 2000ās
I donāt like this post
it approaches.
itās here.
ā¼ tag yourself: greek gods ā¼
athena: unsatisfied with a 99 test grade, could probably commit the perfect murder, underestimated, likes french bakeries, early riser
poseidon: chill, likes beaches, doesnāt try in school but still does fine, filled notebooks, kinda a dick sometimes, sleeps a lot, environmentalist, collects seashells
aphrodite: really good looking and knows it, acts sweet but will legit kill you if you get on their bad side, perfect makeup, fancy starbucks drinks, intimidating
zeus: says they can burp the alphabet but just burps twenty six times, gives zero shits about others, an asshole, rapist, get off my blog if youāre a zeus
heista: warm coffee shops, has a sweet smile, journals, kinda sad inside, a bit of a loner, messy hair, easily likeable but doesnāt know it
hades: listens to emo music, spends 96% of their time on tumblr, hopeless romantic, looks like they can kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll, pretty stressed
REBLOG IF ITāS OKAY FOR PEOPLE TO SLIP INTO YOUR MESSAGES TO TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEMS THAT THEY ARE FACING AND THAT YOUāRE WILLING TO HELP AND SUPPORT THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN