Fanfics That Nobody Asked For

Tumblr’s No.1 source of homegrown, organic Muldoon’s Log memes

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

Masterlist

Jurassic Park / Muldoon's Logs

Clever Girl (in progress)- Graduate student Laura snuck onto Jurassic Park to do research for her thesis paper, but Robert Muldoon catches her. Soon, they will both have bigger things to worry about as Laura discovers the horrors hiding behind the family-friendly facade of Jurassic Park. A slow burn.

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10 pt.11 pt.12 pt.13 pt.14 pt.15 pt.16 pt.17 pt.18 pt.19 pt.20 pt.21

Care to Live Dangerously? (NSFW) - Robert Muldoon is too focused on his job, and Robbie Hadira wants to help him let off some steam. Based on episode 11 of Muldoon's Logs.

No Hats Indoors - Paleo behaviorist Tony Skylar loves to tease his officemate, park warden Robert Muldoon.

Fast For A Biped - While they're watching the raptor feeding, Alan Grant is distracted by Robert Muldoon's thighs.

Sherlock Holmes

The Softer Passions - Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes comes out as ace to Dr. John Watson. Happy Pride!

Cook Over Low Heat - Based on BBC Sherlock, John Watson and Sherlock Holmes cook dinner together and Watson gets a rare glimpse of how his roommate actually cares for him.

[keikomivra]

JURASSIC PARK III (2001) Dir. Joe Johnston

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

you know what that’s fair

[mirkwoodest]

Lol, here's a fun one: if you had been born in the medieval era and without access to modern medicine, how long would you have lived? If I managed to survive being born (unlikely) I would have died at age 22 from appendicitis :) hbu?

[mirkwoodest]

The number of you absolutely convinced you would have been convicted of witchcraft and burned at the stake seems statistically unlikely.

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

i probably would’ve died at 11 of kidney infection

[yourlocaldinosaurnerd]

Also posting this little photoshoot I had with Amber Collection Muldoon (the last two were against my will. My brother really wanted me to do them)

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

Ok but his face in this one is sending me

He’s like ?? Excuse you?

[henrywutism]

I have all the hatred in the world for movie!John Hammond because I just think there’s something so…off…about him.

Like I know part of the reason for why we’re supposed to hate book!John is because he’s really unpleasant towards the staff, but I think movie!John’s method of speaking to them is…worse? Specifically the way he talks to Dennis (in the sort of disappointed dad way) just makes me really uncomfortable for reasons I can’t explain.

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

Yeah I definitely saw him as a charismatic businessman type; good at appearing charming but his one track mind leaves no room for ethics. The way he talks to Nedry is very telling; he’s like “oh let’s not discuss finances” like that’s easy for YOU to say, you’re living very comfortably while your staff are scraping by because you conveniently don’t find it tasteful to talk about things like “I deserve a pay increase because the labor I’m providing is turning out to be more than you made it seem at the beginning.”

Like I bet Hammond was sweet and charming to Nedry when he hired him too, and Nedry saw him as a sweet old grandpa who would be sure to pay him fairly and treat him well if Nedry worked for him. I bet that’s how Hammond gets all his highly qualified staff to work overtime understaffed and underpaid, is by turning on the charm and being politely evasive anytime they try to discuss the poor working conditions.

[zombiethethinker]

Dilophosaurus wetherilli

[koiagain]

you like fanart of a character maybe Two times and suddenly ur tumblr page thinks u want to read them taking it up the ass

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

worst part is they’re right

[homunculus-argument]

Just once it would be so fucking cool to be able to handcuff myself into something that I can't break myself free of, and kick the key just outside of my own reach, while being able to 100% fully trust that I'm going to be found and rescued from the stupid-ass situation I put myself in. Just as soon as the key is off my reach for good I'm gonna go "well fuck now I'm stuck here staring at walls for the next 16 hours. Why the fuck did I do this. Glad I thought to take a bathroom break before doing this."

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

new kink discovered

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

that’s embarrassing i mixed up the ankylosaur with the euoplocephalus. get her, boys

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

was no one going to tell me that i got it wrong AGAIN, ankylosaurus and euoplocephalus are both ankylosaurs. both members of the ankylosauridae family.

how many times must i make myself a fool on this site

[garlicenthusiasm]

watched Jurassic Park last night and then this smooth motherfucker came on screen:

[Image ID: A picture of game warden Robert Muldoon from Jurassic Park standing in front of the raptor pen. He is wearing a shirt and khaki shorts that reveal his very muscular thighs /end ID]

you can't tell me this man couldn't have outrun the raptors or just triangle choke them to death. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THIGHS!?

the raptors wouldn't stand a chance.

[neverniko101]

who up perceiving and reacting to stimulus

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

can’t forget the sequel, stimulus reacting to being perceived

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

i need to go get groceries but there's Temperature outside :(

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

also the air is breathn’t

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

Watching Ali Awada’s other stuff and now I’m obsessed with the idea of raptors mimicking human speech like crows 😨

[marlin-finding-nemo]

How am I supposed to make original posts when you people keep sending me threats

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

aquarium being jail for fish is actually a wild take. now im staring at my fish like WHAT DID YOU DO

[fellshish]

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

negative. after lunch is when big boss gets her nap

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

You know what, fuck you *undooms your yuri*

[wraithillustrates]

Part 1

They are role playing which is why everything makes zero medical sense

[fanficsthatnobodyaskedfor]

i KNEW my last trip to the doctor was weird