Wha- No, nothing to do with Rosemary or Cotton Candy here folks, we’re talking LITERAL ships! I forgot I didn’t post this here, and I decided to showcase another useless Trivia & Size Comparison within the Homestuck-verse! First of all, everyone’s favorite Golden Vessel.
This is kind of silly and mostly useless in general, because, who cares, really, and Jade can use her Spacey Thing to resize things! But hey, god dammit, I wanted to see if the Battleship was realistically sized.
I took several screenshots from Cascade and lined them up to have more or less an accurate pixel measurement of the entirety of the front section of the Ship. It wouldn’t usually be enough…
However, in the ‘low res’ version of the Ship where we get the whole ship, the masts give it very obvious and defined reference points. Assuming the Kids to be 5′6″, which I sort of use as an ‘average’ height in general, and whether they are a little bit shorter or taller shouldn’t have that MUCH of an impact on the rest of the ship, the grand total is 325.5′ or just about 100m! This is what a 100m Ship looks like IRL.
Maybe not a perfect match, maybe kind of small, but hey, it seems sorta feasible? Let’s put the Prospit Ship aside though, because the next one is a very, very fun one, and the one that inspired me to make this into a post in the first place- The Battleship Condescension.
Now, the BIG issue when calculating sizes in Homestuck, is that everything is drawn loose and fast. Depending on the panel, you may end up with completely different size measurements from the same item or characters, not to say, the sizes of the planets, including Derse and Prospit. It’s intentional though, Homestuck doesn’t quite care about proportions, it cares more about style. This makes it difficult to say how big anything is, and even the Golden Battleship looks more like some sort of Carrier, which would put it significantly over the 100m mark?
The Battleship Condescension doesn’t have any real-life ship to compare it to, and sure, we could just take the measurement of Condy or the Handmaid on it and try to see the size, but we can do better. Because you see, The Battleship Condescension may be the one thing in the entirety of Homestuck who can have a set, determined size.
When comparing the shadow with John’s Neighborhood, the issue is that we don’t know the sizes of the houses. When tried to compare with LOFAF, it’s obviously out of proportion, although the shadow does reach to both sides of the Battlefield. So it’s absolutely huge, but why does the BC have a set, calculable size??? Well…
Because it’s one of the few things in Homestuck that has been put right next to a real-life Landmark.
That Lake it’s hovering over is no random Lake, John and Jane both live, explicitly, in Maple Valley, we have their actual addresses. And while a bit misshapen, maybe, the Lake Condy’s Ship is hovering over is a real lake!
The Shadow seems to be cast as a mirror image, so for the sake of this, let’s assume the Sun is at its highest point right above the Ship. It’s hard to translate the Ship’s size to the map of the actual lake, since, again, the Lake’s look is a little bit wonky. But I approximated it enough to what it seems to be, and the result?
400m long, 300 wide, more or less. 300 wide, however, counts the trident-like prongs that come from it, so narrowing it down, the main shaft of the ship itself would be around 100m. This doesn’t count verticality though, the ship’s shape makes it obvious it has more than one floor on the deck. But the shadow it casts would cover quite the imposing area on the ground! How big IS 400m long you may ask, though? Well, for reference…
At 400m long, the Battleship Condescension would be just about the 4th biggest Ship ever built, and the ones bigger than Condy’s ship are currently broken up. At 400m, it would be longer than the Empire State Building is tall. In other words… Not exacly 100% to scale since I didn’t account for the angle it’s drawn at, buuuut, aproximately…
Yeah. It’s a huge ship, but not unfathomably enormous. Still imposing as hell to deal with for sure.
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