hot mess

sam. 21. nyc.

[shittymoviedetails]

In The Departed (2006), Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg play two different characters— a subtle nod to them being two different actors, despite my wife being unable to tell them apart on the first viewing of the movie.

[dunsalien]

op this is the funniest post you’ve made yet

[icebats]

Women on twitter are sharing weird things theyve seen in bathrooms at guys houses and im fucking screaming why are men like this

[icebats]

ONE OF THEM HAD A GARDEN HOSE INSTEAD OF A SHOWERHEAD BYE

[crimecommitter420-deactivated20]

Why do women hate innovation?

[dankmemeuniversity]

[maliciousindungeon]

okay, i got real fucked up last week and ordered a fuck ton of webkinz, which i thought was a mistake, until the first ones arrived and pud decided she absolutely fucking loved them

at first i just put em on her to see what shed do, which was nothing, so i decided to just leave her alone in my room for a bit. when i came back in later, she was doing this and i dead ass started crying

[maliciousindungeon]

UPDATE: another one came :'^)

[mothman-slamp]

[a-yoda-a-day]

love legally blonde. movie changed my life

[snickernut]

[memesonthehour]

[insomniac-arrest]

the rush of listening to bops while people are fighting fills me with primal strength

[automatic-caution-door]

[lord-king-saint]

this is cute

[fuckstev-deactivated20240104]

[hol-ohcene]

[zagreus]

my only goal in life is to destroy the space-time continuum

[koth-harvest-final]

AND THEN ACT LIKE I DONT KNOW NOBODY

[zagreus]

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[just-shower-thoughts]

There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?”

[lazyyogi]

This is an important distinction.

[clonepa2]

WHERE THE FUCK AM I GONNA GO NOW?

[cliffsecord]

[everythingfox]

Washing the void

[twilightisgaynow]

new high school classmate: so what’s your name

renesmee: renesmee

new classmate: that’s… interesting

renesmee: my mom was on crack when she named me

bella, sitting literally two seats away: 

[sangotori]

I’m so concerned that this post implies Bella and Edward will attend high school again with their own daughter

[twilightisgaynow]

youre goddamn right thats what im implying

[somecutething]

Owner fell asleep with her phone in her hand and the lights on again.

[facelesskinkyblackguyblog]

[unclefather]

Where do they sell these vests