Farnsworths From Last Night

Warehouse 13's Texts Farnsworths From Last Night Run by Immi Thrax Due to the source material of the texts, please be warned that many posts will contain coarse language and sexual references, so choose your browsing times accordingly-- you never know when Mrs. Frederic will pop in to spy on you!

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It’s like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn’t even possibly be this excited.

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

RIP Roger Rees :(

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

I’m not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I’m like Liam Neeson in Taken

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

In local news “Man Stabbed With Golf Club” next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched…

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I’LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says “Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches.”

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

How does one un superglue their foot to the floor

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

steve’s beating me 4-2 in our “sexually confusing straight people” competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don’t know when or how but I’m now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage

Submitted by minkhollow

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!! HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

[farnsworthsfromlastnight]

Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians

Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.