âź Â continued from here  âź
upon realizing how awfully direct heâd been, darinean winced and looked around just as fearfully; but no one seemed to have paid attention to them. that was good, but at the same time it proved yet again how invisible the young vigilant was, and for once, it bothered him.
â sorry. iâm not used to keeping secrets. â,
he replied quietly, this time to actually only address erik.
the well-meant pat on the shoulder only made darinean retreat a little further into himself, his entire posture somehow just shrinking when erik asked about the time he spent with the vigilants.
â 23 years. this⌠this is my LIFE. â
or⌠was it his life? could he even go on like this, now that heâd been face to face with a man who wanted a cure and not remain a beast?
to know that darinean himself had ended the lives of people that were begging for MERCY ( which, ironically enough, stendarrâs children did not have for them ), telling him about a cure that heâd only dismiss as yet another lie⌠that was truly soul-crushing.
if darinean hadnât grown up to bottle up his feelings so well, heâd have bursted out in tears and begged for the divinesâ forgiveness right here and now.
just thinking about how he was barely holding himself together made him tear up, but he was quick to wipe his tears away.
â stendarr must frown upon me; either for aiding you or⌠everything else i did. â
Erik cocked an eyebrow at Darineanâs clear discomfort. Damn fucking Vigilantes, hug your fucking kids. He didnât take offense, though. Not everyone was as comfortable with touching as he was, and he made a point to keep his hands on himself from now on (which he hoped wouldnât last long. He wanted to go back to Jorvaskrr).
âFuck, thatâs a hell of a long time. I didnât know they inducted children into their cult.â But then again, he avoided anything that was even indirectly related to religion. Gods were nothing but overpowered, selfish, cruel and arrogant beings that liked to toy with humans and demand worship without giving anything (or barely a scrap from what they take away), to people. Heâd once been religious, praying faithfully each day and wearing Shorâs amulet around his neck like a prize, but heâd been a child back then, and he grew to find the beings he loved so much had no care for his well-being or prayers.
Heâd normally tell him âfuck the godsâ, or give a really long rant on why gods, in general, were assholes, but he figured that wasnât what he needed at the moment - the woundâs too fresh. Besides, he didnât feel like being blasphemous while surrounded by a dozen of cultists that spilled perhaps as much blood as he did in his lifetime.
âOh shit,â Erik breathed when he saw the manâs eyes tear up. âHey, itâs fine, itâs-â he reaches, by reflex to the otherâs shoulders but stops midway and wraps his hand around his bowl again. âShit, kinsman, Iâm no religious person, far from it, but shit, if Stendarrâs really about mercy, then he shouldnât frown on you for either. You spared my life, and the people you killed before was because that cult stuffed your head with hate and gave you a weapon and a target.â
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