What is the point?
It just hit me pretty hard that with how things are looking in America, I will likely never own a house. My fiance works and provides for both us and her family that we live with. I'm disabled physically, and even if/when I'm better, I'm disabled mentally. I can't get on disability. The only support I have is food stamps that isnt solely for us and only make enough to last not even a week. I have no job. I could get *some* financial aid and go to college, but then what? Most graduates STILL have a hard time finding a job. Even then, that's still 60+ hour work weeks. And even then, I'm 21 and I'm not able to do anything like that yet. My parents are neglectful, abusive assholes, one is deceased and the other lives across the state. I don't have any other family that lives close to me. I play video games every day for most of the day or i dissociate it away on tiktok. I don't have any real life friends, I don't have a car or transportation, I don't have any ability to do outside hobbies or things that require physicality. I sit and I wait for my fiance to get home. Every. Day. I try to find my faith in God and I pray and I feel something for a while, and then that's gone too. I get better at personal hygiene but have nowhere to go and nothing to do, so why bother? I felt like my mental health was getting better but here I am, 21 years old, September 2023 sitting in bed typing out this vent, realizing how much I just dissociate away everything. When will it end? Am I going to go anywhere? Do I wait for a miracle to happen? There's a housing crisis, inflation is getting worse, and there's nothing I can do or say about it. There's nothing I can do period. I'm stuck here, stuck like this indefinitely. Will things ever change?


















