The Adventures of Fatty and Paula

Fatty and Paula are our dessert-loving alter egos. We're two running fools following a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet and making healthy meals that fill and fuel us and delicious desserts to reward us for running and standing up all that time in the kitchen.

[fattyandpaula]

Easy and Amazing Eggless Pancakes

They’re fluffy and wonderful!  I know we’ve already got a recipe for Fairy Pancakes, but I added sprinkles to these too because cupcake pancakes are in right now.  Just leave them out for plain pancakes.  

Ingredients

1 1/4 c flour

1 tbsp baking powder

2 tsp sugar

1/2 tsp salt

2 tbsp vegetable oil

2-3 tbsp water (depending on thickness)

3/4 c vanilla yogurt

1/4 – 1/2 c skim milk

(optional) 3/4 c rainbow sprinkles

(optional) vanilla frosting and/or maple syrup

Instructions

Heat an electric griddle to 350ºF.

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt.

Separately, combine milk and yogurt, then add this to the dry ingredients.  Add the oil, then the water one tbsp at a time, constantly whisking.

Finally, add sprinkles (if desired).  Scoop a large dollop of batter onto the griddle (recipe makes 5-6 pancakes). 

Flip as it begins to rise and bubble. 

Keep warm in a 200ºF oven if necessary until served.  Enjoy!

Check these things out!

This is a mod of this recipe.

[fattyandpaula]

Pepperoni Monkey Bread

HOLY GOD

Make this.  And make it now.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

1 tsp yeast

1 tbsp warm water

sprinkle sugar

1 cup bread flour

½ tsp baking powder

½ tsp salt

½ tsp each Italian seasoning, basil, and oregano

½ cup ricotta cheese

~¾ stick butter or garlic spread, cut into sixths

18 slices vegetarian pepperoni

3 sticks string cheese, cut into pieces

 Instructions

 Prepare dough. Activate yeast in water and sugar and allow to rest for ~10 minutes.

 Whisk together flour, salt, baking soda, and seasonings.

 Add ricotta, and cut in butter.  Then add yeast and knead until combined.

 Roll out on a floured surface, fold into thirds and thirds again, then roll out.  Repeat about three times.  Allow dough to rest overnight.

 Preheat oven to 375ºF.

 Cut dough into 18 pieces. Flatten into disks and lay down 1 pepperoni and a cube of cheese. Then, shape into balls.

 Bake at 375ºF for about 25 minutes.

Serve with marinara sauce for dipping.

Enjoy!

Details

Cook Time: dough should sit overnight, then prep and cook time is about 40 minutes.

[fattyandpaula]

Lentil Nachos

It’s football party time! (It was a better party a few weeks ago when the Steelers were still in the running, but alas...)

In this dish, I replaced ground beef with lentils to give these a healthier feel.  That and the lettuce are up against a barrage of cheese and sodium. Mmmm.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

For garlic sauce:

      1 tsp olive oil

      1 heaping tbsp flour

      1/3 cup skim milk

      ½ tsp garlic salt

For lentils:

      ¼ large onion, chopped

      1 jalapeno, seeds removed (or not if you want hotter), chopped

      ¼ cup lentils

      1 cup salsa of choice

      1 cup water

Additional:

      tortilla chips, enough to fill a plate

      handful fresh lettuce, chopped

      ¼ cup Monterey jack or cheddar cheese

Instructions

1.    Simmer the onions and jalapeno over medium heat.  

2.    After about 8 minutes, add lentils and stir.  

3.    Add salsa and water, then bring to boil and reduce to simmer immediately.  Stir occasionally.

4.    Heat olive oil in a separate pan.  Whisk in flour to create a roux.

5.    Remove from heat and add milk.  Place back on medium heat, add garlic, and whisk until thickened.

6.    To assemble, lay out tortilla chips on a large plate.

7.    Drizzle with garlic cream sauce.

8.    Spread out lettuce on top of that.

9.    Drop spoonfuls of lentil salsa and spread gently on top.

10.  Sprinkle shredded cheese on top.

Details

Cook time: ~30 minutes

[fattyandpaula]

Thanksgiving Stroganoff

Just so you don’t think these are still Thanksgiving leftovers that I’m using....we threw a “Repeatsgiving” Day Feast right after Christmas to *officially* celebrate the whole family being together, and this is my yield.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

~2 oz leftover turk’y roast, chopped

1/4 large onion, minced

2 stalks celery, chopped

1 tbsp butter

1 tbsp flour

1/2 cup vegetable broth

1/2 cup milk

8 oz egg noodles

~1/4 cup cranberry sauce

handful walnuts, crushed

Instructions

In a pan sprayed with cooking spray, sautee celery and onions.  

After about 8-10 minutes, add the chopped turk’y.  Stir.

Melt the butter in the same pan with the veggies.

At the same time, cook the pasta according to package directions.

Add the flour to the veggies and mix to coat.  Allow to cook over medium-low heat for about 5 minutes.

Remove from heat and add milk and broth.  Return to heat and stir.

Check occasionally to make sure it’s thickening.

Drain pasta, reserving a little bit of the starchy water just in case.

When sauce has thickened, pour over pasta and stir.  If it’s too sticky, loosen it with the pasta water.

Gently stir in the cranberry sauce.

Add salt and pepper to taste, then plate and top with chopped walnuts. 

Details

Cooking time: ~20-25 minutes

Calorie total: serves 2 at ~600 calories each.

[fattyandpaula]

Lentil Cheeseburger Soup

For some reason, lentils have a beefy kind of flavor.  So why not use them in a rich broth with veggies and cheese?  It only makes sense.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

¼ large onion, sliced

½ bell pepper, sliced

3 crimini mushrooms, sliced

½ cup brown lentils

2 ½ tsp seasoning salt

5-6 cups water or broth

2 tsp flour

1/3 cup skim milk

~3 oz fresh lettuce, chopped

4 grape tomatoes, sliced

3-4 oz chipotle cheddar cheese, cubed

Instructions

1.    Spray a deep pot with cooking spray.

2.    Brown onions, peppers, and mushrooms over medium heat, about 10 min.

3.    Add lentils and seasoning salt.  Add water and bring to a boil.

4.    Reduce to a simmer and cook until lentils are soft, adding more water if necessary.

5.    In a small bowl/cup, whisk together flour and milk. Set aside.

6.    About 20 min before serving, temper in milk mixture.  Reduce heat to medium-low.

7.    Add lettuce and tomatoes.  Allow to cook until wilted.

8.    Finally, add cheese.

9.    Separate into bowls and garnish with condiments of choice, e.g. ketchup.

Details

Cook time: approx. 1 hour

Calorie total: approx. 700 kcal.

[fattyandpaula]

Sweet Potato Curry with Tofu

Dear Fatty&Paula followers,

We’re sorry.  We’ve been a useless food blog.  We’ve been ridiculously busy!!  That might not be changing in the weeks to come, but at least we can offer you some delicious recipes today.

Please accept this apology curry.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

¼ large onion, minced

1 bell pepper, chopped

2 large carrots, peeled and chopped

1 large sweet potato, peeled and chopped

½ tsp dried ginger

½ tsp garlic salt

½ tsp black pepper

¼ tsp garam masala

¼ tsp cayenne pepper

¼ tsp nutmeg

2 cups vegetable broth

1 cup water

½ block firm tofu, cubed

curry powder

½ cup plain nonfat yogurt

Instructions 

1.    Spray a deep pot with cooking spray.

2.    Saute onions in garlic and ginger over medium heat, about 10 minutes.  Use this time to prep all veggies.

3.    Add peppers, carrots, and sweet potato.  Add seasonings and mix to coat.

4.    Meanwhile, in a non-stick skillet coated with cooking spray, coat tofu with a sprinkle of curry powder and sea salt.  Toss occasionally to mix.

5.    Deglaze the sweet potato pot with water.  Add vegetable broth and bring to boil.

6.    Reduce to simmer and cook, covered, until sweet potatoes begin to break apart, about 20 minutes.

7.    Reduce heat on tofu and set aside.

8.    Remove lid from vegetables, add yogurt, and stir.  Reduce to low heat.

9.    Combine tofu with the vegetables and coat evenly.  Serve with white rice, naan, or alone.

Details

Cooking Time: approx. 45 min, including prep.

Calorie total: 565 kcal

[fattyandpaula]

Savory Roasted Vegetable “Galette”

This is not really a galette.

I have no idea how to make a galette.

Well, I sort of have an idea. I just find it a lot easier to make pizza dough than pie crust. If that’s your thing, feel free to make a more traditional style.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

1 tsp dry active yeast

1 cup warm watersprinkle sugar

1 cup bread flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp each black pepper, paprika, cumin, and cayenne

1 beet, sliced

1 yellow summer squash, sliced

1 orange sweet pepper, sliced longitudinally

1 shallot, sliced

~1 tbsp olive oil

~2.5 oz goat cheese

powdered ginger and dried rosemary, to garnish

Directions

1. Prepare the dough ahead of time by activating the yeast in a cup of warm water with a sprinkle of sugar.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together flours, salt, and spices. 

3. Combine flour mixture with the yeast. Stir together and knead for 5-8 minutes.

4. Set aside in a greased dish, covered with a damp towel. Place somewhere warm for at least 90 minutes.

5. When ready to prepare vegetables, preheat oven to 425ºF.  Grease a large glass baking dish, and place veggies in it, covered with olive oil and a sprinkle of sea salt.  Bake for 40 minutes, then allow to cool slightly.

6. Turn out dough onto a floured surface, and roll out into a rectangular shape.

7. When veggies are done, arrange them on the dough. 

8. Top with goat cheese, rosemary, and ginger.

9. Fold the edges of the dough around the veggies to form a pocket, and press to seal. Poke holes in it with a fork to prevent bubbling. If desired, brush with egg/water and add seeds of choice for garnish.

10. Bake for 25 minutes at 350ºF.  Allow to rest for 5 minutes before cutting and serving.

Info:

Cooking time: ≥ 3 hr, including dough rise time

Calorie total: 8 slices at 145 kcal each

[fattyandpaula]

Schrute Farms Macaroni & Cheese

I think Dwight Schrute would be proud of this beauty.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

1 large beet, or 2 medium

3 cups beet greens

1 tsp olive oil

12 oz pasta (about 3/4 box)

1 heaping tbsp flour

2/3 cup skim milk

8 oz. American cheese, sliced or otherwise

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/4 tsp nutmeg

parmesan cheese, for garnish

Instructions

Preheat oven to 425ºF. Wrap the beet in aluminum foil and bake for 25 minutes.

Meanwhile, boil 2-4 inches of water with a large pinch of salt. Blanch the beet greens for about 3 minutes, then drain in a colander and immediately rinse in cold water to stop the cooking process so they retain the pretty green color.

When the beet is done cooking, carefully peel it and cut into smaller chunks.

Process the beet in a food processor, streaming in the milk to liquefy it.

Meanwhile, heat up the olive oil in a large saucepan with some cooking spray.

Add the beet greens, along with the salt, pepper, and nutmeg, and heat through for about 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, cook the pasta of choice according to package directions.

After the greens are cooked, add the flour and stir well.

Remove from the heat, and add the beet/milk mixture. Stir, then return to the heat.

Break up the cheese into the beet sauce and stir until melted.

Drain the pasta and add it into the sauce, and gently toss to coat.

Add salt and pepper to taste, or finish off with some parmesan cheese.

Details

Cooking time: ~1 hr

Calorie total: serves 4 at ~600 kcal each.

[fattyandpaula]

Lentil & Spinach Wraps

These are spicy and insanely flavorful! The filling itself is delicious as a stand-alone salad.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

12 tortilla wraps (I used whole-grain)

Gardein crispy chicken tenders (optional)

For salad:

1 cup lentils or split peas (or both)

1 cup white rice

1 tsp soul food seasoning

1/2 tsp garlic salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

pinch paprika

~4 cups water

3 tomatoes, preferably kumato, chopped

1 avocado, pitted and chopped

1 cup sweet corn

5-6 cups fresh spinach, roughly chopped

3/4 cup chipotle cheddar cheese

For dressing:

3 tbsp lime juice

1 tbsp adobo sauce

~1/2 cup plain, non-fat yogurt

1/2 tsp dried onion flakes

1/2 tsp garlic salt

1/2 tsp cumin

black pepper, ad libitum

Instructions

Prepare the chicken according to package directions, or heat up in a 425ºF oven for about 20 minutes.

For the salad, combine split peas, lentils, and rice in a medium-sized pot. Mix in the soul food seasoning, garlic salt, and pepper. Pour water over the mixture and stir to combine.

Cook over medium heat until all the water is absorbed but before they all become mushy.

Meanwhile, chop up veggies and place in a large salad bowl.

When the legume mixture is done, rinse in a fine strainer using cold water (you may have to do this in batches, of course, depending on how big your strainer is).

Toss the grains together with the veggies. Add the chicken and cheese.

For the dressing, in a small bowl, combine lime juice, adobo, and yogurt with a whisk. 

Pour over the salad and toss everything together to combine.

To make the wraps, place about 1/2 cup filling in the center of a tortilla. Pinch in the edges, and roll up to close. Slice in half and serve!

Details

Cooking time: about 1 hour.

Calorie total: makes 12 wraps at 260 kcal apiece. 

[fattyandpaula]

Spinach Guac-os

Guacamole tacos! [I like combining words]

How serendipitous that, this year, Cinco de Mayo fell on Taco Tuesday!

This is a spinach-infused guacamole cheese sauce on pasta in a tortilla shell. Yes that happened.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

1 avocado, pit and peel removed

1 jalapeño pepper, seeds and ribs removed

2 tbsp lime juice

1/2 tsp garlic salt

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

~3-4 cups fresh spinach

1/2 lb pasta

1/2 cup chipotle cheddar shredded cheese

8 taco shells

Instructions

Chop up the jalapeño and toss into a food processor with the avocado, spinach, salt, and paprika. 

Pulse together to combine everything and stream in the lime juice.

Heat up the guacamole in a medium saucepan over low heat.

Meanwhile, cook the pasta according to package directions.

Toast the tortilla shells in the oven according to package directions.

When pasta is finished, drain and toss with guacamole. Add the cheddar cheese and stir to melt it. 

Finally, remove the taco shells from the oven, and stuff each one with as much pasta as you can!

Details

Cooking time: about 30 minutes

Calorie total: makes 8 tacos at about 250 kcal each

[fattyandpaula]

Mocha Bread Pudding

Good morning world and all who inhabit it!

This is my gift to you for this fine Friday in May.

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

8 cups of cubed leftover, stale bread 9 oz Hershey’s kisses, milk or dark chocolate (YES THATS A WHOLE BAG) 1 cup strong brewed coffee, cooled 4 eggs, whisked 1/2 - 1 cup milk (depends on how crusty your bread is) 1 tsp vanilla pinch nutmeg pinch salt

Instructions

Melt the chocolate in a medium saucepan over low heat. Stir in the coffee, whisking to eliminate any clumps of chocolate.

Cut bread into cubes and place in a  large bowl.

In a separate bowl, whisk eggs together with milk and vanilla. 

Stream in the coffee chocolate mixture as you whisk, taking care to temper the eggs so that they don’t scramble.  

Add the nutmeg and salt.

Pour the mixture over the bread and toss to combine.

Grease a 9 x 13 baking dish (ideally, glass) and pour the bread into it.

Allow the mixture to rest for ≥1 hr, up to a day.

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Then cook the bread pudding for 30-40 minutes, until it sets. 

Details

Cooking time: 2 hr (20 minutes for prep, 1 hr chill, 40 min bake)

Calorie total: serves 10 at 210 kcal each!

[fattyandpaula]

Jalapeño Popper Pretzel Bake

That was a mouthful! So’s this.

Just a piece of this fantastic pull-apart bread, which is festively glazed with a baking-powder lye to create a pretzel crust, a la the pizza I previously made.

It is National Pretzel Day, after all!

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

1 can Pillsbury Grands rolls, cut into quarters 5-6 jalapeño peppers ~5 oz cheddar or monterey jack cheese, cut into small cubes sea salt, for garnish 1/2 cup water 1 tbsp baking soda

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400ºF and grease a large glass baking dish.

Cut the biscuit dough into quarters.

Cut the jalapeños in half, and remove the ribs and seeds (unless you want a super super spicy dish!). Then cut them cross-wise into thirds.

Place a cube of cheese or two onto each jalapeño slice.

Wrap the jalapeño in one of the pieces of dough. Repeat for the remaining pieces, and arrange them into a tight layer in the dish. If there is any additional dough, use it to stuff up any really obvious holes in the bread.

Boil the water on the stove with the baking soda in it. Brush directly onto the tops of the biscuits, and immediately sprinkle with sea salt.

Bake the whole thing for 20 minutes. Then, top with any remaining cheese (optional), cover with foil, and bake another ten minutes.

Remove from oven and serve! Mustard goes well if you want a condiment topping.

Details

Cooking time: ~60 minutes, including prep

Calorie total: serves 4 at 500 kcal each. This scales down quite easily.

[fattyandpaula]

Split Pea-zza Crust

You may have seen all those cauliflower crust recipes floating around. They’re actually pretty easy! Just note, if following this recipe, there’s an overnight soak required to soften the lentils/split peas. But it’s worth the wait!

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

For crust: 3/4 cup uncooked split peas (or lentils) 1 cup frozen cauliflower 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp garlic salt 1/4 tsp paprika 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper pinch black pepper 1 egg 3 tbsp parmesan cheese

Toppings (or any of your choice!): 2 wedges Laughing Cow swiss french onion cheese 7 crimini mushrooms, sliced 4 slices LightLife vegetarian ham 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese

Directions

In a large bowl, combine split peas, cauliflower, and the seasonings. Cover with water and allow to soak overnight.

The next day, drain the mixture (if any water is remaining).

Place in a food processor and pulse until it forms a cohesive mixture. It should be dry and look like coarsely crushed rice.

Whisk an egg in a large bowl, then add in the peas mixture and stir together. Finish off with the parmesan cheese. 

Spray a ten-inch springform pan with cooking spray. Spread the mixture into it and use a spatula to flatten it. Leave a little edge to make a crust.

Preheat oven to 425ºF. Bake the crust for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, cook the mushrooms over low-medium heat in a stovetop pan.

When the crust is done, spread the Laughing Cow cheese on the crust and add the mushrooms and ham, spreading out evenly.

Cover with the shredded mozzarella.

Place back in the oven for an additional 8 minutes.

If you prefer a bubbly cheese, broil it for the last two minutes.

Slice and serve!

[Post-baked crust.]

[Pre-bake. Blurry!pic. I was moving fast.]

[Look at that deliciousness.]

Details

Cooking time: (not including overnight soak): ~60 minutes.

Calorie total: makes 6 slices at 145 kcal each.

[fattyandpaula]

Chickpea Salad - TWO Ways!

What a fantastic dish! Super simple, and totally packed with flavor.

There’s the plain Jane “American” style:

and the spicy Indian twist!

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

1 x 15 oz can of chickpeas 1 tsp chicken seasoning blend 1 tsp poultry seasoning 1/4 tsp dried onion a pinch of dill 2 stalks celery, chopped 1/2 apple, chopped 2 wedges of Laughing Cow swiss onion cheese

Directions - plain version

In a small saucepan, combine chickpeas and chicken seasoning and poultry seasoning. Add enough water to barely cover it and bring to a simmer. Allow the chickpeas to cook until heated through and softened.

Meanwhile, chop celery and apple, and set aside in a bowl.

Drain chickpeas and use a potato masher to create a paste, leaving large chunks. 

Mix in the cheese, dill, and dried onion. Then combine with the veggies.

Set in the refrigerator to cool. Best served on bread with sandwich fixin’s of your choosing.

Directions - curry version

Before cooking the chickpeas, add an additional 1 tbsp curry powder and 1/2 tsp dried ginger. 

Prepare everything the same way. You can consider adding veggies such as tomato or carrot to bulk it up.

The image shows the salad stuffed into sweet peppers. You can do this by preheating an oven to 425 deg F, slicing and gutting a pepper, and stuffing the chickpea mixture in. Cook for 30 minutes,

Details

Cooking time: ~20 minutes

Calorie total: 540 kcal for entire salad.

[fattyandpaula]

Copycat Papa Murphy’s Thick and Cheesy Homebaked Bread

I would have clearly chosen a shorter title for this if I could.

This is the doughy, buttery, cheesy square of awesomeness is my imitation of the recently new side at Papa Murphys, the extremely popular pizza place that sells half-baked items that you can then take home and finish off (in your oven, then in your mouth). Although it’s cheap and delicious, it’s more fun to make stuff like that at home, and it’s usually healthier too. I basically smothered a crust of Sicilian pizza dough in herbed butter and three types of cheese. 

Ingredients

1 1/4 tsp active dry yeast scant 1 cup warm water sprinkle sugar 2 cups bread flour 1 tsp garlic salt 1/4 tsp each Italian seasoning, basil, and oregano ~ 2 tbsp whipped butter ~1 cup fresh mozzarella cheese 2 oz cheddar cheese, shredded 2 oz monterey jack cheese, shredded

Instructions

Activate yeast in a small bowl with water and sugar. Set aside for about 15 minutes.

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, salt, and seasonings. Mix in the yeast/water mixture.

Knead dough together, adding flour as necessary to prevent it from sticking excessively to your hands and everything else. 

Spray an 8 x 8 glass dish with cooking spray, and spread the dough out inside it. [Dough can be made ahead of time and stored in the fridge overnight. Just make sure to let it come to room temperature for its final rise, which should last at least 90 minutes.]

To allow dough to rise, place a damp towel over the dish, and rest the dough in a warm place for about 1 1/2 hours.

Next, preheat the oven to 425 deg F. 

Using a spatula, spread the whipped butter over the middle of the dough, leaving a perimeter of crust untouched.

Cover the dough with the mozzarella, then each of the other cheeses.

Top off with a final sprinkle of Italian seasoning, if desired.

Bake for 15-18 minutes, rotating halfway through.

Best served with marinara or Italian dressing. Enjoy!

Details

Total time: ~3 hr (including dough rise)

Calorie total: makes 8 slices at 220 kcal each.

[fattyandpaula]

Spicy Pad Thai

This ended up being way tastier than I anticipated, so I thought it was worth sharing.

The sauce recipe came from this blog, and it’s a keeper!

Also, I’m trying a new layout to make the recipes easier to read & follow. Let us know if it helps!

Recipe follows.

Ingredients

Juice of 2 limes or 4 tbsp reconstituted lime juice 1/3 cup soy sauce                                                   3 tbsp brown sugar                                               2 tsp sriracha sauce                                                       ½ block extra firm tofu             ¼ small onion, minced                                       2 small banana peppers, minced                               ½ tsp ginger ¼ tsp garlic salt pinch red pepper flakes 1 medium carrot, peeled and chopped   ½ green pepper, chopped                                 1 yellow squash, chopped               1 cup frozen broccoli, chopped   ~1/4 lb pasta (long noodles)        

 Instructions

1. Whisk together first four ingredients in a small bowl.

2. Preheat oven to 350 deg F. Slice (longitudinally in thirds) and briefly press tofu, then brush with sauce. Bake 40 minutes, turning over every 10-15 min.

3. Meanwhile, heat a non-stick pan to low-medium. Add the onion and hot peppers along with the garlic and ginger. Add a pinch of red pepper flakes.

4. Next, turn up to medium and add the carrot, squash, and pepper one at a time, tossing continually. Add the broccoli last.

5. Meanwhile, cook the pasta according to package directions.

6. When the tofu is done, remove from oven and cut into small squares.  Add tofu to the vegetable mixture.

7. Drain the pasta and set aside.

8. Add about half the sauce to the veggies and toss to coat. Finally add the pasta and the rest of the sauce. Allow it to cook over low heat for about 5 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

Details

Cook time: ~1 hr

Calorie total: serves 2 at 445 kcal each.

[fattyandpaula]

Vegetable Antipasto Squares

Total caloric BOMB, total crowd-pleaser. Credit for the concept goes here. I vegetarian-ized it. Not gonna lie, it's a little involved. But worth it.

Recipe follows.

For biscuit dough:

2 cans crescent rolls

-or-

1 recipe crescent dough, see below for details

For filling:

1/2 lb provolone cheese, sliced

1/2 lb American cheese, sliced

~1 cup fresh spinach

~6 oz artichoke hearts (the kind packed in oil in a jar, about 12)

1/2 medium eggplant, peeled and thinly sliced

~2-3 tbsp Italian salad dressing

heaping 1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes (not the kind packed in oil)

heaping 1/2 cup black olives

6 oz green olives or Mezzetta antipasto mix (spicier!)

1 roasted red pepper (from jar), chopped

3 eggs, whisked

~2 tbsp parmesan cheese

For crescent dough from scratch:

3 cups flour

3/4 tsp salt

1 tsp baking powder

2 1/2 tsp active dry yeast

3 tbsp warm water

pinch sugar

2 1/2 sticks butter, cold and cubed

1 1/2 cups part-skim ricotta cheese

[If using canned dough, skip this first part.

Begin by activating yeast. Dissolve it, along with sugar, in the warm water in a small bowl. Allow it to rest for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine flour, salt, and baking powder in a large mixing bowl. Use a whisk to eliminate any clumps.

Mix in cubed butter and work with your hands until it forms small pea-sized clumps, like a pie crust. Add the yeast and ricotta and continue to mix until the dough comes together.

Divide the dough into two pieces, one approximately 2/3 of the whole (this will be the bottom) and the other 1/3 (the top).

Roll out the larger piece of dough on a floured surface. Fold into thirds, then turn 90 degrees and fold in thirds again. Then roll it out again and fold again. This creates the fantastic flaky layers. Wrap in plastic wrap and allow it to rest in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours, or overnight.

Do the same for the smaller piece.]

When ready to assemble, preheat oven to 400 deg F.

Slice eggplant in ~1/4 inch slices and dress in Italian seasoning. Place an oven-safe wire rack onto a cookie sheet and spray with cooking spray. Then, lie out eggplant in an even layer. Bake for 10 minutes, then flip and bake 10 min more. Then remove from the oven and reduce heat to 350.

NOTE: do NOT put the eggplant directly on the cookie sheet. Depending on the kind you have, this might cause the dressing to react with the metal and leave a metallic look/taste to your eggplant. I’m not sure what causes this, but it’s not worth the risk.

Anyway...

The olives and tomatoes will be made into a pesto-type spread. Do this by boiling the sun-dried tomatoes in water to rehydrate them (i.e. until soft). Combine with olives and antipasto mix in a food processor and pulse roughly to chop.

Obtain a 9x13 baking dish (deep!) and spray with cooking spray. 

Roll out the larger piece of dough and place into the dish, taking care to allow the dough to come up the sides. 

Place the dish in the oven to bake for about 10 minutes. If you have pie weights, you could use them at this point, But an overly fluffy bottom layer isn't such a bad thing.

Layer American and provolone cheeses on the bottom dough layer.

Next, layer out the spinach, then artichokes, then eggplant. 

Top with some more cheese. Next, add the olive/tomato pesto.

Next up, the roasted red peppers.

In a small bowl, whisk together eggs and parmesan cheese and pour over the entire mixture.

Finish off any remaining slices of cheese in one final layer on top of that.

Finally, roll out the smaller piece of dough and place on top. Pinch together the edges. Take a small fork and poke holes in the top to prevent air bubbles from forming inside and ruining your pretty creation.

Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees, turning halfway through. Allow to rest ~5 minutes before cutting. Makes 24 pieces.

Serve warm!

Enjoy!

Calorie total: makes 24 pieces at approximately 260 Cal each.