So this may be odd, but I kinda feel bad that I’m recovering from my DID... It’s still there, but my switches are less frequent, less involuntary, and more on a daily pattern (one wakes up and does morning stuff/works out, another studies, another works, etc) but I feel like maybe I was letting it control me before out of laziness or “not wanting to change for attention”. And I feel like people I’ve told are judging me now like “oh look she stopped I guess it was just another phase.”
Gosh, I’m so sorry that people are judging you now for your recovery! It’s a really painful stigma to experience, especially with DID (which is already so stigmatized). Recovery does involve changes, but it doesn’t make mental illness a phase. DID is a life long condition (unless you choose to fully integrate) and, although symptoms and alters can come and go in intensity, it’s still not a phase.
I think the best advice I can give is to ground yourself in the reminder that recovery is for you and only you. It sounds like you’ve really gotten a great grasp on living with DID–working out who does what tasks and how to navigate a “normal” life with such a tricky condition! It’s very similar to how our recovery has happened–more controlled switching, more regular appearances, etc.
Even if, in the past, you were “letting” DID switches happen because you didn’t have the energy to stop them, that’s totally okay! Laziness with mental illness isn’t really a thing. It takes time to get to a point where you have the energy and drive to recover and, for each and every person, that recovery process looks different. Even if you had chosen to sidestep recovery in the past, that’s okay. You’re doing it now and that’s what really counts. Now is the right time to push forward, recover, and live the life you truly want to.
Also, I have a blog here that might help you out even more! How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Your Mental Illness
Help me fundraise for a PTSD service dog? I just reached the halfway mark! <3
