❝ 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕟 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻

      i have scars on my p a l m s and the insides of my fingers.               there is blood in my mouth and staining my clothes.                             i have died too many times to count and come back again stronger.             ( are you proud of me, momma? are you proud of me, pappa? )

[calicolune]

chungha x flower paintings

[fcllcnstar]

danny

          ETHEREAL SHE WAS, after all she was an idol before madness befell upon the world. he recalls meeting her the first time, how he mistook her to being another idol. danny never did pay too much attention to kpop while residing in america, but he did know very little due to classmates. all in all, the two became friends during their times in the wings, and he actually spent a lot of time with her thanks to her knowledge in english. she was very kind as well, so she was dear to him. but, when arriving to the kingdom, his attention was no longer mostly on her nor his best friend. a social guy, he was out befriending many. it has been a while since last talking to katherine. “you know i cannot dance,” he begins, a beer in hand as he was pulled closer to the smaller woman. he smiles down at her, then chuckling as she continued to insist on dancing. “you’re gonna make me look like a fool.” he already did look like a fool to many. 

“ Don’t come with that excuse, Danny, I won’t take it! ” Kitty had been hoping him to say yes, counting him as a dear friend and bonding over their common country of birth. And he had been so lost and disorientated at the beginning, barely knowing any korean at all, she couldn't help taking him under her wing. “ You’re not going to look like a fool because dancing is normal and no one is even paying attention ” she remarked with a laugh and she pulled his arm a second time. “ Come on, Danny, I’ve barely seen you these days. Indulge me this time ”, her lips formed a small pout. He had been making lots of new friends the past weeks, Katherine had noticed, his attention diverting to this new circle and relegating her to a second level. It kind of stung.

[fcllcnstar]

taeyeon

Tae scrunched up his nose, letting himself be pulled by her without fighting back. The bottle of alcohol still on his hand as he did so. Taking a moment to finish its content before speaking, Tae dropped the now empty bottle on the ground, his hands moving to pull back the hair on his eyes. “You might as well be.” he countered, glancing around at all the people who would be seeing him dance if he did so. “You’re asking a lot of me.”

Katherine raised an eyebrow at his words, not a bit surprised by the lack of conviction, nor the fact that he still didn’t resist her at all. “ Oh, is that so? ”, she asked with amusement, but she quickly noticed him checking the people around them. “ Don’t look at them, focus on me ” Dropping her own drink, she softly made him face her. “ Besides, they seem too drunk to even care, so... ” she shrugged with a smile. There wasn’t even that many people there, most were beside the fire.

[fcllcnstar]

haneul‌

                 marvelous    ,    glorious   ,   astounding   ,    &.   untouchable. it feels like happiness is arching over them   &.   under them    ,   intoxications spirit runs through their veins like the needle   &. thread they used to stitch eyes to their clothes.        ❝   let me find my feet    ,     please ❞    the eyes are better to see them with. their head is foggy    &.    lost in the thoughts   ,   summertime haze in their nerves. a pleasant calm that rocks in   &.   out. there is a taste on their tongue   ,   like the dirt back home ivy covered town they try to forget.      ❝ can          can i lean on you? ❞    consume them   ,   illuminate them    ,   let them down gently. they are mercurial. they are potential energy. they could easily explode    ,   shatter into a thousand pieces that will never fit together back together in front of the other if they are not careful.  

Haneul was definitely drunk, that was unexpected, but at least they weren’t backing down from her petition. “ They are here, see? ” she showed, softly tapping one of their feet with her own. Kitty couldn’t contain a short laugh, prompted by the hilarity of the situation and the alcohol on her bloodstream. “ Of course you can, take my hands! ” she said, maybe with a bit more excitement than expected -that was for sure the alcohol-. Taking Haneul’s hands, she started moving as if they were dancing a slow song. “ Is this okay? ”

[fcllcnstar]

sumin

                sumin mutters a quiet oh god before rolling her eyes lazily at the other female. she doesn’t like this situation. she has no problem with people getting drunk or having fun, but once she got dragged by these people to do something as stupid as dancing, now that is a problem to sumin. “how many times do i have to tell you that i don’t dance?” she tells kitty, another sigh leaving her lips. “i really don’t know how to and i don’t even want to, so there you go. i’m not gonna dance with you, kitty. just find another volunteer.” and just leave me alone.

She laughed the moment she heard Sumin sigh and groan, it wasn’t at all a surprise. “ Yeah, yeah, and how many times do I have to tell everybody that knowing how to dance doesn’t matter? ” She said that happily, still not resigning in her plan of making her dance, but it was true Kitty had told the same words too many times to too many people it was almost tiring. “ It’s not about dancing like a professional! And everybody knows how to dance, you only need to feel the music and let go ”, she showed Sumin her own moves, slightly bouncing to the muted rhythm. “ See? It’s fun. Aren’t we supposed to have fun tonight? ”

[mirrors-reflecting-poems]

Not dating, just benefits Wandering hands, lost feelings Hold me tighter, not close enough anymore Neck kisses, masked passion Breathing faster, less talking Vulnerability, no eye contact Just some fun, cut all my strings

‘were not together..’ (via mirrors-reflecting-poems)

[rhidley]

[fcllcnstar]

“ Come on, it’s not like I’m asking for the moon! ” she whined just a little bit as she slightly tried to pull the other person’s arm, an almost emptied bottle on her other hand. Katherine beamed. The improvised party, the people having fun, the alcohol -she wasn’t drunk, but for sure was feeling a bit tipsy-, it all pumped her up; and the moment she had heard the sound of a guitar and an improvised box drum, she simply couldn’t contain herself. “ Just let go and dance with me ” she repeated her previous petition.

[angelicreatormoved-deactivated2]

    this LITTLE girl is                                                   capable of MURDER                                                                                                 if you HURT her.

[fcllcnstar]

taeyeon

For some reason hearing that from her made him feel good. Of course, he was sure that it would make him feel good regardless of who said it. It wasn’t as if he cared about her opinion in particular. “I guess it must have been our excellent team work.” he added, clearly making a joke out of it. He didn’t know how they got to this point. Maybe because he kept avoiding thinking too much about it. But he remembers the tension before it all happened and they started to sleep together. And then how neither of them stopped it from continuing on happening. Instead it almost feels like it has become part of their routine. Every once in a while they find each other and it just happens. And they never really discuss what it means. Because of course it doesn’t have a meaning. Why would it?

It was true, he had been so stressed and focused on everything going on with them all forming one group that he had mostly been either working or sleeping. Which meant not seeing her. There had been several times he would finish what he was doing in the middle of the night and felt tempted to go to where she had been staying. But he hadn’t. That could easily make anyone who saw him, think the wrong thing. Besides, it would make him seem needy and like he missed her. And he did, but not in the way it could be taken as. “I should make more time to relieve my stress.” he states, smiling at her. It clearly meant he should make more time for her, but he wouldn’t say that. “I don’t think I could sleep with all this stress.” he said, trying to sound serious but his smile betraying him. “I think that I need you.” his hand moved to shirt, tugging it lightly.

She laughed at the joke. That, with the cheeky smile he had shown just seconds ago, created a big contrast against the image one usually get to see from Tae. The tall, tough and confident leader could also be sweet and even awkward too, as Katherine had come to discover. There were also doubts and insecurity, sometimes shared with her, and she did too, and many many shadows. Those, though, rested unspoken. She understood, for she had her own handful of shadows, and sometimes it was better to keep them out of the light. Maybe that was the reason of their excellent teamwork. “ You should, I’m no doctor but experience tells me holding stress for too long is never good ”, she mirrored his smile, both knowing they weren’t talking about usual stress-relieving anymore. “ I guess you’re right on that, stress also doesn’t make for a restful sleep ” she pretended to come to an agreement. The play pretend ended there though, when he spoke directly his need, words somehow touching deeper inside her than expected. “ You have me here now ” she said, softly. Feeling the light tug in her shirt, a silent way to ask for permission, she moved the piece of clothing so slightly to grant him access to her skin and then reduce the small distance still existent between their faces, lips brushing his. “ Though ”, stopping for a second and taking a small breath, she moved away from his mouth, tracing his jaw to reach the ear, “ you should tell exactly what do you need of me ”. A whisper, before her lips landed on his neck.

[fcllcnstar]

jaehwa

Jaehwa couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her in response to Katherine’s words. She knew it was false hope— the other would always go hard on her just as Jaehwa would do back. That was the reason they were progressing with these little training sessions of theirs, after all. If they could be formidable opponents to each other, then they’d be so much more prepared to face anyone or anything that dared cross them. “Fair enough, bring it,” she replied, a wide smile stretched across her lips. “Hm, hand to hand this time?” Jaehwa suggested. “We’ve been doing a lot of weapons training lately, which is understandable, but sometimes you gotta be ready to take a man down with your bare hands, y’know?”

Jaehwa had that effect that always made her feel pumped. It probably was the fiery confidence she irradiated, and that had made Katherine admire her since the very first moment she had seen her. “ True, and you never know when you can find yourself without a weapon ” she agreed, brushing one of her braids behind the shoulder. “ You better prepare, or should I remember you that I’m an expert in taekwondo? ” her tone was again an amused one, as she adopted the classic pose everyone visualized when thinking about said martial art. Jokes aside, even if Kitty wouldn’t consider herself an expert at all, she had learned taekwondo as a child -it now felt like ages ago- and, while time had turned her technique rusty, after the outbreak she had resumed the discipline. “ Winner gets to choose the rations for dinner? ” she proposed, it wasn’t the biggest of the bets but it was a small game they play just for fun.

[fcllcnstar]

hanbin

Hanbin nodded in agreement, the grip on his shotgun tightening as they slowly stepped forward. Just because there wasn’t anyone around didn’t mean that they were safe, and letting their guard down would be the worst possible thing they could do in this situation. “Yeah— yeah, that sounds like a good idea, we’ll cover more ground that way,” he agreed, lifting one hand off of his weapon to hold up for a high five. “I’ll take back, you go front? We’ll grab anything we can on our way through and meet in the middle?” The few members of their group who didn’t say behind to guard the car already seemed to be splitting themselves between himself and Katherine, and Hanbin was grateful for the action, not particularly wanting to have to take on the leadership role himself to split the group. He probably would’ve let Katherine do it anyway, the supply runner much more used to raid parties than himself. 

Her eyes quickly turned to him, a gaze that quietly asked why did you split us?, but she didn’t question the division out loud. She didn’t want to look picky and, nevertheless, the others had already taken their unit too. “ Ok, that’s good. But we don’t have endless space so better check throughout what we take, food and medicine should be priorities ” she commented, not that Katherine thought anyone there didn’t know that already, but a reminder was always good. “ Let’s get on it then, see if we can be back before it gets dark ”. They had still two hours of daylight ahead, collecting the supplies shouldn’t take them too long -if there weren’t any surprises of course- but they also had to count the return trip. After a unanimous nod, the small group split into two, Katherine walking towards the front door.

[fcllcnstar]

eunhyuk

          NIGHT FELL, and only the guards were expected to do much during such an hour. other civilians of the community lingered about to socialize, for there was not much to do within the homes. sitting before a fire, eunhyuk sat on a chair in order to extend his legs after a long day of standing about and walking miles. having heard his name, he glances up to witness katherine sitting nearby, his chocolate orbs studying her carefully. the question she posed was one too deep for his liking, but he understood some of the people needed to have such discussions in order to feel more prepared as well as to hear some positive response. or maybe they just needed the truth? he did not know the truth, though. “i hope we do.” he responds with a shrug, but he has thought of this before. how could they all make? how could the world recover from such an outbreak? eunhyuk has thought of the horror: the reality that just outside zombies are all around, and, slowly, each one of them will be with them. he has had positive thoughts as well. “i want to believe that we can build a stable community here, where everyone contributes, and this will be our safe haven. we’ll have food, water, and a network to get by for many years. that’s what i want to happen.”

It didn’t surprise her to hear the answer Eunhyuk delivered to her question. One could say it was the standard one, the expected one. But yet despite that, Katherine knew it was a sincere answer; she truly wanted to believe in those words too.  “ I guess you’re right. If someone would have asked me two months ago, I wouldn’t be sure we’d get to have something like this ”. Again, she was referring to everything that surrounded them. It was, for sure, promising. But yet... “ But as long as those creatures still exist and continue spreading, we will never be truly safe, don’t you think? ” she considered, her voice tiny and controlled. She usually didn’t allow herself thoughts like those, Kitty was supposed to be the optimistic one, but for some reason talking with Eunhyuk felt easy. He had been so kind to her since the very beginning, for no other reason than because he had happened to befriend her brother, and maybe, just maybe, she was projecting a little bit.  “ Do you think there are other communities like ours out there? ” There had been many groups at the beginning of the outbreak, but three years from that the situation had changed. Still, a small part of herself wanted to think that maybe out there, anywhere, others had the same luck and will as them.

[fcllcnstar]

taeyeon

He had never meant to lead, somehow it had just happened and sometimes it was fun but other times it was a big headache. But after so long, he felt responsible for these people so he wasn’t going to simply give up. He would just take some time to rest so he can be at the top of his game the next day and find a solution to the problem. “I’m not by myself. There’s other people leading us all. I’m only one of them.” he knew what she meant though, but he would rather act like it was fine. He couldn’t help but smile while raising his eyebrows at her, almost teasingly since she didn’t argue back. “You’ve been pretty good at taking away my stress.” he stated, obviously referring to the times they had slept together. His smile now growing into a cheeky smirk. His eyes focused on her, staring back as she watched him. He had to admit, he hadn’t got tired of looking at her. Even after years, he still thought she was attractive. And that’s why he kept sleeping with her. Not for any other reason. Tae chuckled as well, shaking his head at her comment. “You can just tell me that you want my hands all over your body.” he announced, turning to face her.

Stress relieving and distractions, that was all they had. It was easy, and it was fair, and no one was going to regret it that way. “ I see. But it wouldn’t be fair for me to take all the merit, you’ve been pretty good at it too ”. She still remembered how it all started. The first time they had blamed it on the alcohol, that very same day some supply runners had stomp with a cellar and the celebration that came afterwards -it was good that at least for a night the group could indulge a bit- ended so many weeks of tension. The second time they had blamed it on the despair, a raid had gone too wrong and cost them two lives, sadness and need of consolation had clouded their minds. The third time... that had been labeled an accident, a night too cold, a search for warmth. When the fourth time came, they simply stopped looking for excuses.

She watched him turn his gaze to her, with that look he had been giving Kitty since the very beginning. She liked it. It was a look that quietly said i think you are beautiful, without the need of words. Not that those hadn’t been told before, but they mostly let their actions do the speaking. “ Oh yes, I can, I have no trouble admitting that. Besides, you’ve been quite busy these weeks ”, she acknowledged, the last sentence repeating what she had already told him minutes ago only now with a different meaning. She had missed him, that was what she meant, but she couldn’t speak it that way, those were words too easy to misinterpret and no one wanted that to happen. “ But I am supposed to let you rest, Tae, not to tire you more ”, she whispered with just the right amount of playfulness, and yet it also sounded almost innocent, an amused smirk turning up her lips as she traced his hand absently.

[alternative-queens]

angel on fire by halsey

[baekphia]

(190705) Snapping - Chungha

[fcllcnstar]

jaehwas

Jaehwa stretched her arms behind her head, loosening her limbs for the prospect of sparring with Katherine, tucked into an empty space near the back of the community. There wasn’t as much room here to use for the two girls’ training activities as there was out on the open road, but it would have to do for now. “Go easy on me, yeah? I stubbed my toe on one of the unfinished houses earlier, clearly I’m injured beyond repair,” she joked, punctuating the statement with a quiet chuckle. It was easy with Katherine, joking around as if they’d known each other their whole lives. Sometimes it sort of felt like it.

Katherine was stretching too, her body unconsciously doing some of the movements she had done by heart every day before her dance practices. She raised an eyebrow when Jaehwa started speaking, for a moment not sure where was that going -Jaehwa asking someone to go easy on her? Impossible-, but the expression turned quickly into a big laugh. “ Don’t worry, I’ll be extra careful not to step on your foot. But the rest of your body if out of consideration, so I won’t hold on there ” her reply was accompanied by a feigned tough look, as if she was an imposing rival, but that didn’t lasted too long before she was laughing again. “ So what should we go with today, hand to hand or weapons? ”