Personal Blog

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

You said I was your dandelion

Little did I know you’d pucker your lips and slowly push me away for your own guilty pleasure

I should have known you liked roses more

Why would you ever choose a fragile dandelion when you can see a fierce red rose in the distance

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

With a shaky voice and uncertain fingers you dialed my number. You promised change. Why does this phone call feel like an over played voice mail?

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

The skies are brighter now, and the sun shares a pleasant warmth with my skin.

But oh darling, when the night comes along the warmth is gone and the memories of you chill me to my bones.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

Our sunny days have now turned to a night sky and I am finally proud to say I've found comfort in the midnight moon. Something the sun never shared with me.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

You used to make me feel so safe but now I seem to be hiding from  your memory.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

If the dark is all you’ve known than the light could be unbearable.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

1. When you're crying in your bed room and your mom asks you whats wrong don't answer her with "nothing" she sincerely cares and is not going to judge you for the reasons you're crying.

2.When your old friend is telling you it's your fault the friendship ended because you "gave up" have the strength to just say "people grow apart and choose different life styles.

3. When that boy that you love so much leaves you waiting in the dark while he is carelessly walking away don't be scared to walk the opposite way and don't think crying about it makes you weak.

4. When your heart is broken and you end up making more than a few mistakes, look into the mirror and tell yourself "my mistakes do not define me in anyway."

5. When someone is putting forth any kind of effort take a chance, friendships, relationships they all have to start from somewhere.

6. When you are looking at your past, all the fights, the kisses, the I wish that night didn't happen. All the lyrics, up all night crying, every I miss you, how are you, you've change. When you're sitting there going down memory lane write it down because someone is going to go through that same exact thing. Help that growing soul get through this tough world.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

You always haunt my mind and I know it's not your fault, it's mine.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

This old town filled with such regret regret of our last kiss, the regret of the school hallways regret of our last late night and last star gaze or the regret of the last time I felt your arms around me this town is filled with so much regret yet somehow I treasure our very first kiss or the first time you said you loved me I can’t forget the way you would brush my hair back and laugh this town will always be filled with regret for me, but I can’t bring myself to regret that you’re gone.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

When I cross your mind I hope you don't struggle to decide whether to pick up the phone

Or when you see the tv shows we watched episode after episode I hope you try to not think of me laying in your arms

I hope every text message you get you're not hoping it's me

I hope that the thought of me causes you absolutely no pain at all

because oh god how sad would it be knowing I would have stuck around forever,

how sad would it be realizing you were the one that left,

how horribly sad it would be to realized you had left and I had still waited for you

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

I don't make promises and I hate when others make a promise to me

You forced me to promise I wouldn't just leave, you meant a lot to me so I did

I promised I'd never leave through salty tears or anger

I promised I wouldn't leave knowing your past,

through knowing who you were and how you live your life

You made me promise to stay by your side no matter how tough things got

You made me promise

then you left, not one reason or explanation

you left, and I'm still trying to fulfill my promise.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

God, I am so sick of hearing people say “I want to change for you.”

No one needs to change for anyone, don’t even give someone the option of changing you,

Change for yourself, or don’t change at all.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

Leave but please take your memories,

I dont want to remember the tone of your tired voice,

or the way you would look at me and sigh

Please take the night when I said “I love you” and you whispered “I loved you first.”

God please take those late night talks and the way we criticized each others music,

Leave me with nothing,

I dont want to miss your arms when it’s 2 am and im crying,

I don’t want to remember the plans we made or the unrealistic promises

If you’re going to leave please take everything because the memory of my happiness will only create pain.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

And I hope when you notice she smells like ocean mist you miss how I always smelt like a moonlight walk,

When you see her number on your phone I hope you start to miss my phone calls,

I hope when she tells you she loves you that you remember the soft voice you used when you whispered it in my ear,

God I hope she makes you happy because thats all I ever tried to do.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

You touched my hand and it sent a cold chill through every inch of my aching body. The chill started to turn to a light numbing sting, That numbing sting began to be a comforting warmth And then you left and it was back to the aching body I was so used too.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

Like an old abandon house you were once loved.

You were my home, I used to feel safe.

The bags were packed and dust now covers this once loved home.

I don’t want to remember how the floors creek, or the second story view.

You once were loved, you might still be loved, but you’re just an old abandon house that I spent too many days in.

Too many pointless hours trying to perfect,

You’re just an abandon house, that will soon crumble in my thoughts.

[fearfulnightmaresandfadingdreams]

“Walk away” he whispered,

She thought he was kidding after all his sense of humor she adored.

“Don’t leave” she cried a year later,

He didn't want to hurt her, but he had warned her from the very start.