Always (WYEL)
Summary: After three long years, the lovers met again.
Pairing: Han Tae Joo x Kang Gook
Genre: boyfriend au, fluff, smut
Warnings: mature content, first kiss, a lot of kissing, swearing, first time, handjobs, anal fingering, anal sex, flashbacks, childhood memories, mentions of death and angels
Word count: 13.1k
A/N: hello there! I fell in love with this amazing serie, the cast, the plot, everything, and I was SO happy about the happy ending. Deep down we all wanted more than just one kiss (and we all want that second season dammit) so I decided to make a scenario of what could've happened after the last episode, 8. But before that...
Fact one: I haven’t written a lot of fanfics, I’m more of a reading type of person. Fact two: this is my first time EVER writing anything in here, so I still don’t have any idea what I should do, but I’ll get there haha. Fact three: my native language is finnish, so after writing I translated this to english. Fact four: my first time writing a smut scene, let’s see how it goes.
I hope you’ll like this and that this heals your after-serie-ends-depression even a little bit.
The final lines used from episode 8 are found from Vimeo.
Written by feel-the-sunset. Do not repost, translate or edit! I also posted this on ao3: feel_the_sunrise.
There are times when people say time goes by quickly. When you're working and notice the year changes to the next one. When you're waiting for specific day or event for months and months and it finally arrives. When you go through the photos you've taken and find out you took them months ago. Where all that time went, you might think.
But when you don’t know when the important person to you will come back, time won’t go by quickly. It seems to stop. Days and months always move on to the next, but it feels like you’re living the same days over and over again.
Three years. 36 months. 1095 days. It's a long time to miss someone. Too long. Especially when all that time you're unable to contact that person. No calls, messages, photos, emails. Nothing. How do people cope with it? How do they live with it? How can they wait for something they have no knowledge of coming true? Does that feeling of longing ever make it easier? Perhaps. Or perhaps not.
As Kang Gook's eyes lingered in the sleeping boy lying beside him, he knew he was able to make it because of love. After three long years, Tae Joo was finally in his arms. He belonged there, had always belonged. It had required for Kang Gook for a long time to admit that to himself. There had been a lot of obstacles along the way. And someone...
Tae Joo's father knew nothing about his return to Korea. Tae Joo didn’t even know how his father was doing. Kang Gook didn't know either. Shortly after Tae Joo left, he had no longer needed to work as a bodyguard, so he had resigned and moved to work at Hye Min’s mother’s restaurant. The new environment with people who were close to him had made him feel better.
Tae Joo had always been on his mind. What was he doing right now? Did he eat enough? Did he sleep well? Was he safe? Many questions had rotated in his mind. Although the bodyguard title had been history right after he left, Kang Gook wasn't able to do nothing for his feelings. He would always be, to some extent, the bodyguard of Tae Joo.
Tae Joo moved in his sleep closer to Kang Gook. He slept peacefully, one hand under the pillow, the other on Kang Gook's chest. It was already past midnight, but Kang Gook couldn't sleep. He was afraid to close his eyes. What if all this was just a dream? What if after waking up Tae Joo was no longer by his side, but still in England? What if his return hadn't really happened? He didn’t want to lose him a second time.
Slowly, Kang Gook placed his hand on top of Tae Joo's, gently stroking his warm hand with his thumb. Kang Gook couldn't help but smile a little. It was all real. Tae Joo really was there. He really had been there.
"You had your location tracking turned off."
Wait a minute. What? That voice... It couldn't be. No way.
Kang Gook turned his gaze towards the voice he had heard, and noticed a familiar person sitting near him. The person got up from the swing and walked closer to the water that opened calmly in front of them.
"Why did you come here, all miserable?"
Kang Gook couldn't take his eyes off him. Han Tae Joo. Was it really him? Or was he dreaming? Did he really see Tae Joo standing in front of him? After the person turned his gaze to Kang Gook, he took off his cap. At that moment, Kang Gook's eyes brightened. It really was him!
“You’ve gotten more handsome.” Tae Joo commented. That smile on his lips made the butterflies in Kang Gook's stomach flutter.
"Are you going to Japan? I told you to find another rice cake place. Why are you running away?" Tae Joo asked with his soft voice.
God, how much Kang Gook had missed that voice.
Kang Gook couldn't speak. It was as if the cat had taken his tongue. It all felt so unreal. Like a dream. Was the person he saw in front of him really real? He didn't know what to say. His head was full of questions.
Kang Gook got up from the swing and walked closer to Tae Joo. The closer he walked, the stranger he felt. Was three years really passed? Had Tae Joo finally come back to him?
"You took your time coming." Kang Gook replied as he stood in front of Tae Joo. He hadn't changed in any way. Those beautiful brown eyes looked at him in exactly the same way as they did three years ago. The smile on his reddened lips hadn't lost its influence.
"You have to run away together with me. It was our wish." Tae Joo said, and Kang Gook couldn't agree more.
Kang Gook had so much to say to Tae Joo. He wanted Tae Joo to know how much he had missed him. His presence, voice, smile, laughter. Late night bouts, the time together. His warm body against his own. Everything.
For some reason, not a word came out of his mouth. It was hard for him to believe that Tae Joo really stood in front of him, as handsome as ever.
Kang Gook’s train of thoughts were stopped by the hand of Tae Joo, which moved to brush his earlobe. It did its job. Like every time. Relaxed. Suddenly everything was really clear. Kang Gook knew how to express his feelings in the best possible way, so in one quick motion, he pulled Tae Joo into a long kiss from his neck.
For a long time Kang Gook had wondered how kissing Tae Joo would feel. How his lips would feel against his own. But now that he finally dared to do it, it was more than he could've imagined. Tae Joo responded immediately to the kiss. Tae Joo's lips were plump, so soft. Their lips snapped together like two puzzle pieces. The lip balm Tae Joo used mixed with their kiss, making it sweeter. It was all true. Perfect.
Kang Gook finally kissed the man he had wanted to kiss for so long. His first kiss. After 18 years of friendship, Kang Gook finally dared to show his feelings in a way he had long dreamed of.
After a while, they parted from the kiss. There was a tender, loving smile playing on both of their lips. Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's warm breath against his lips. His lips were moist from the kiss and a little redder. He wanted to kiss him again. And so he did.
They closed their eyes at the same time. This time there was more power in the kiss. Longing. They both wanted to tell with a kiss how much they had missed the other. For three years both had been waiting for this moment, and now that moment was finally there.
Kang Gook didn't want to let go of Tae Joo. His grip on the boy's neck tightened, as did the grip on his waist. He felt Tae Joo's hands wrap tighter around him. Time seemed to stop. There were only them.
The oxygen was running out, and even if neither wanted to separate from the kiss, in order to be able to kiss again in the future, they had to separate from the kiss. The hands remained around the other. Brown eyes looked at the other brown ones.
"I missed you." Kang Gook said. It was actually a mild expression. Nothing in the world would ever properly express how much he had missed Tae Joo by his side. Not even those three words.
"I missed you too. So much." Tae Joo said. Kang Gook was able to see tears in Tae Joo's eyes. He had always hated to see the boy cry, 'cause it usually meant he wasn’t feeling okay. Tae Joo’s happiness and well-being were more important than his own happiness and well-being. It always had been.
Kang Gook wrapped his arms tightly around Tae Joo, letting him bury his face to his neck. Tae Joo’s hair smelled like vanilla, mixed with his own scent. That scent was the same one that had smelled on their bed sheets long after Tae Joo had left. During the nights, when Kang Gook had missed Tae Joo next to him, he had buried his face in his pillow, and allowed himself to cry. He never cried. But because of Tae Joo, he cried. After a few days, that scent had disappeared from the sheets. From the clothes Tae Joo hadn't taken with him.
But now, when that boy in his arms had come back with that charming scent, Kang Gook was sure. He was head over heels in love with the boy in his arms.
After a long wait, those sheets finally smelled like the boy whom Kang Gook couldn't take his eyes off. That young man looked like a little boy while sleeping. So adorable. Kang Gook couldn't believe that even earlier today he had packed his bags to go to Japan to get over Tae Joo.
It all seemed ridiculous now. How could've he been able to do something that was completely impossible? How had he even been able to think about getting over the man he loved when he had promised to come back? Kang Gook wanted to kick himself. He would never give up when it came to Tae Joo.
Kang Gook didn’t know how long he had been awake, but he needed some water. Carefully, he moved Tae Joo's hand from his chest, pushed the blanket aside, and got out of the bed.
Since Kang Gook no longer worked for Tae Joo's father, he also no longer lived under his roof. Tae Joo’s father had always paid him well for being a bodyguard, even though he had never been interested in the amount of money. With that money, however, he had been able to rent himself a cute, small apartment near Seoul, yet far from Tae Joo’s father. He had not wanted to run into him or his men. His apartment was suitable for him, but not permanent. It was meant to be only temporary. And now that Tae Joo had come back, Kang Gook had begun to rethink his future. But what could he think of? That was the biggest question.
He and Tae Joo hadn't talked properly about anything after coming back to his apartment. What was going to happen now? What was the situation between them? Had Tae Joo come back to stay permanently? Will Tae Joo be a part of his future? He had too many questions in his mind. So much had happened that day that it had all turned into one big pile of questions inside his head, disturbing his sleep. Maybe everything would look brighter in the morning when he's able to talk about these things together with Tae Joo.
Kang Gook took a glass from the kitchen cabinet, and poured water into it. The full moon shone white in the sky, it lit up directly through his kitchen window. It was 2am on Saturday morning. Luckily, he had that weekend off.
He enjoyed working in Hye Min’s mother’s restaurant, but it wasn’t his dream job. Taking care of the safety of foods and drinks to customers’ tables was a little different than taking care of humans' safety. However, he liked helping them, and Kang Gook knew for Hye Min's mother he was like her own son. The restaurant had gained a lot of popularity in recent years and was visited by a lot of customers. Hye Min teased Kang Gook several times that one reason for it was himself. You're so handsome, didn't you notice how those girls looked at you? She often said. Kang Gook didn’t care much about Hye Min’s comments, 'cause he didn’t care about girls. Instead, he had always cared about one particular one.
Hye Min herself was doing fine, and she was dating Kim Pil Hyun. Kang Gook had been furious with him at first, because he had been the one who had told Tae Joo’s father what had happened between them in the school backyard. What had almost happened. Kang Gook hadn’t wanted to see him for a while. Everything that had happened had felt bad. Seeing people, talking to them, everything. After all, he hadn't been able to blame Pil Hyun, 'cause the situation between them would've become apparent to Tae Joo’s father sooner or later. There was no more resentment between them, and Kang Gook wasn't angry with him. Although Pil Hyun had felt like a jerk at first, he wasn't such a horrible guy after all.
"Kang Gook."
After hearing a sleepy voice saying his name, he turned around. Tae Joo's sleepy figure stood on the bedroom doorway, his eyes half covered with dark hair. He looked so sweet. Kang Gook would've just wanted to pull the boy into his embrace. Only seeing that boy made him feel better.
"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook said. He hadn't heard him getting out of bed. "What are you doing awake? You should sleep."
"So do you."
I know.
"I wasn't able to fall asleep, so I got up to get some water. Go back to sleep." Kang Gook asked and lowered his glass into the sink.
"Only if you come with me." Tae Joo decided, reaching out his hand towards Kang Gook. Kang Gook stared at Tae Joo's beautiful, sleepy eyes, his hand, and again his eyes. What Tae Joo wanted, he would get it. And Kang Gook wasn't going to argue against it.
He took a couple of required steps toward Tae Joo, and took his hand in his. Tae Joo led them back under the white sheets, and without saying a word, buried himself against Kang Gook's chest. Kang Gook wrapped his arms around his little body, stroking his back. Just like he had done a million times before. It felt so natural.
"I've missed this." Tae Joo said against Kang Gook's warm chest, breaking the silence. "Being close to you, like this. I missed everything about you. Everything."
Kang Gook swallowed the piece that had risen to his throat. He knew what Tae Joo meant, he had missed that same thing. Talking about feelings had never been Kang Gook’s strength. He knew that Tae Joo wanted to hear about his feelings. Kang Gook knew he owed it to him.
"I've missed this too. You." Kang Gook gasped. He felt Tae Joo's lips curl into a smile against his shirt. Tae Joo's grip around Kang Gook tightened. He felt his other arm press against his ribs, but in that situation he didn't care. If that boy wanted to hug him until his ribs broke, he gave permission. He could only hug him back.
Kang Gook bit his lower lip. He had so many questions. But would he get an answer to all of them? Talking about things at night was hardly the best time in the world, but Kang Gook couldn't resist himself.
"What happens next?" Escaped from Kang Gook's lips. He wanted to know. He needed to know.
Silence filled the bedroom. For a moment, Kang Gook thought he had hurt Tae Joo with his question, but soon he looked up from Kang Gook's chest into his eyes. Kang Gook tried to read Tae Joo from his eyes, but wasn't able to do it.
"I’m not entirely sure." Tae Joo said quietly. "Three years ago, I promised you I'll come back. And I did. I kept my promise to my father, and now I'm free. And I want to be free with you."
Kang Gook felt exactly the same. Most of all in the world, he wanted to be with Tae Joo.
"I know this all came as a surprise. I didn't inform you or even ask Pil Hyun to tell that I was coming back. I... I can't assume that suddenly after three years everything would be back to normal. That everything would be fine again. That you suddenly want me back. You might have someone special in your life, and I wouldn't be surprised. You're so handsome, everyone would be on their knees in front of you. After all, I would have to accept it if you don't want to be with me or if - "
"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook interrupted by lowering his hand on Tae Joo's cheek. That touch caused Tae Joo to lift his gaze back to the other boy's eyes. He knew. He talked too much.
"You have to run away together with me. It was our wish." Kang Gook said, using Tae Joo's earlier words. "Our wish." He continued.
Tae Joo couldn't help but smile. Our wish.
"You know that I've always been bad at talking about my own feelings but... During these three years, my feelings for you hasn't changed at all. I waited for you, because I wanted to be with you, and I still do. And I haven't had anyone else after you left." Kang Gook admitted.
Kang Gook had wanted to be loyal to Tae Joo, though he hadn't been sure when Tae Joo would come back. During those three years he had met people, but he had never been interested in any of them. He hadn’t even wanted to find anyone else, because the only one he wanted had been 8,858 kilometers away from him.
They had made a promise. But still, Kang Gook was scared. Had Tae Joo had anyone in England during those three years? The idea that someone other than him would've touched that boy made his blood boil. Of course, Kang Gook wanted Tae Joo to always be happy, but he wanted him to be happy with him.
Tae Joo was relieved. Every day in England, he had thought about Kang Gook. Had his father done anything to him? Was he okay? Who was he with? The only thing he had been waiting for during those three years, was to get back to that boy. He was glad to hear that Kang Gook hadn't had anyone else.
"Me neither." Tae Joo said, his eyes looking at Kang Gook's own. Tae Joo noticed something changing in his gaze after his words. Relief.
"How could I've had someone else, when all I've ever wanted, is right here?" Tae Joo asked, laying his hand back on Kang Gook's chest, on top of his heart. They stared into each other's eyes. They both felt the same way.
Their lips met. Affectionately. Lovingly. They both wanted each other in many ways, and now they knew each other’s feelings. That was a good place to start.
Feeling other's lips against own ones felt so good. Tae Joo knew it was all new to Kang Gook, because he had never dated. Or kissed. Until now. His body tingled knowing he had given Kang Gook his first kiss that day.
Kissing Tae Joo felt wonderful. Kang Gook didn't know that kissing someone would feel like this. It was such a good feeling. The prolonged kiss slowed down, and in the end there were only two lips touching each other gently.
"So, have you really come back to stay?" Kang Gook asked after the kiss ended.
Do you really still need an answer to that, silly? Tae Joo thought with a smile.
He nodded. "Yes."
Kang Gook felt so happy. After a long wait, Tae Joo was finally back, and he wouldn’t let him go again.
"This feels like a dream. I..."
Tae Joo looked at Kang Gook, waiting. He hadn't said the end of his sentence.
"What?" Tae Joo asked. He had always known how difficult it was for Kang Gook to talk about his own feelings. Tae Joo wanted to give him time. He wanted Kang Gook to know that he was there for him, listening.
"It's just hard to imagine you're really here. I missed you so much. I was afraid you wouldn't come back. I was... I was broken. The night I watched you leave the bedroom was the most horrible night of my life. In three years I cried more than ever in my life. Many times I wanted to travel to England and find you, bring you back home, but I knew I couldn't do it. It just feels so unreal that you really are here now."
It was time for Kang Gook to open his heart.
"I felt you everywhere. Being in our apartment felt awful. I saw your stuff everywhere, the sheets and the clothes you left smelled like you. Pil Hyun's face made me hate that guy even more, because they reminded me of you. You were no longer asking me to buy you chocolate milk, or to make you an omelet for breakfast, or to take late night bouts. You were no longer by my side so I could look at your sleeping face, or keep you in my arms. Suddenly you were completely gone."
Tears filled Tae Joo's eyes. He was hurt. They were hurt. It was probably the first time Kang Gook had opened up that way about his feelings. Kang Gook had never been the opening type of guy, but now Tae Joo knew how many things Kang Gook had to go through after he left. All those thoughts inside were finally able to come out. Because of Tae Joo’s father, who hadn’t wanted his own son to be happy, they had lost three years of their future together.
Tae Joo couldn’t know exactly how Kang Gook had felt, but he had thought about exactly the same things. Everyday life without Kang Gook next to him, as a friend or a bodyguard, had felt so strange. Empty. Something very important had been missing. There hadn't been anyone he knew in England, he had been lonely for a long time. Even from school, he had decided to survive with Kang Gook in his mind.
Knowing Kang Gook had cried himself to sleep, broke his heart. Tae Joo was able to count those times he had seen Kang Gook cry with the fingers of one hand. On their last night together three years ago, Kang Gook’s eyes had been full of tears. Tae Joo knew during that night Kang Gook had tried stay strong. He had always been the stronger one. He hadn't wanted to give power to his tears. Kang Gook had always been the one who hadn't let his shield to crack, and who had always been there for Tae Joo when he had needed a shoulder to cry against.
Kang Gook rarely cried. That one moment, which happened 15 years ago, had been the first time he had seen Kang Gook cry. And even then, Kang Gook had cried for him.
The day had been cloudy and chilly. It rained a little. Tae Joo heard how Mother Nature watered the earth. He didn't hear anything else.
Tae Joo layed on his bed, curled up, facing the wall. His pillow under his head was damp. He had been crying for a long time. He missed his mother, whom they had had to say goodbye earlier that day. There had been his father, his grandparents, and other relatives whose names Tae Joo wasn't able to remember. And of course, Kang Gook.
Tae Joo had been sitting on a hard bench in a large space surrounded by other people, holding Kang Gook by his hand. His father had sat next to him with an empty expression, looking down. In front of the large space had been a white coffin with a large, framed picture of Tae Joo's mother in front of it. There had been many different flowers on top of the coffin. Everyone had been dressed in black. There had been music playing in the space that had been brand new to Tae Joo. As well as the whole situation itself.
Tae Joo heard the door of his room open and close soon after. Someone walked closer to his bed, and soon the mattress on the bed sank lower. Someone had come next to him. Tae Joo knew who.
"Tae Joo-ya." Tae Joo heard the child's voice say his name. He opened his eyes and turned to his friend. Brown eyes faced the other ones. They also looked sad.
"Don't cry, okay? I want you to smile." Kang Gook asked, wiping his friend's wet cheeks with his fingers. Kang Gook felt bad to see his best friend cry.
"But I want my mom." Tae Joo howled, crying, new tears streaming from his eyes to his cheeks.
Kang Gook moved to lie down properly next to Tae Joo, and took him in his arms. Tae Joo pressed against his friend's chest.
"It's okay. You don't have to worry. I'm here." Kang Gook said and stroked Tae Joo's black hair. "I'm sad when you cry. Don't cry."
"Where did my mom go? Why isn't she here?" Tae Joo asked his friend.
"She became an angel." Kang Gook said.
"An angel?" Tae Joo didn’t quite understand what his friend meant.
"Yes, an angel. So I've heard. When a human becomes an angel, they go to heaven to see the other angels. They, too, are humans. And then they look down at us from the clouds." Kang Gook explained. He had heard such a story himself.
Inside of his mind of a kid he thought about the story Kang Gook told him. Some things were still hard for him to understand, but if Kang Gook was sure of it, then Tae Joo was too.
"Why doesn't she come here to see us?" Tae Joo asked.
"Angels stay in heaven, and we, before we become angels, stay here on earth. We can't climb to heaven, can we? So they can't come down here to us. It's sad." Kang Gook said.
Little by little, Tae Joo began to understand what Kang Gook was saying. It still didn’t take away his longing. He missed his mother so much. He was the most beautiful angel in the world. So warm, caring and happy.
"Will I ever meet her again?" Tae Joo asked, sobbing.
"Yes, of course. I don't know when, but for sure one day." Kang Gook said. "I'm sorry that your mom turned into an angel, but I'll always be with you."
"But..." Tae Joo panicked and raised his head from Kang Gook's chest, looking at his friend lying next to him. "What if you'll become an angel too, and I won't be able to see you anymore?" He was so afraid that would suddenly happen.
"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I promise. I'll always be here with you." Kang Gook promised.
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
"Always?"
"Always."
That was enough.
Soon Tae Joo fell asleep in Kang Gook's arms. There was only a small breathing to be heard in the room. The rain had stopped. Kang Gook watched his sleeping friend, who no longer cried. Instead, one tear rolled down Kang Gook's cheek, and he sniffed. He thought no one had heard him, but that voice had been the last Tae Joo had heard before he fell asleep.
After growing up from the age of 6, they had both realized Tae Joo’s mother had died of cancer. She had died peacefully while sleeping. Tae Joo had never been close with his father, and many things had changed since his mother died. Over the years, Kang Gook had been the one who had covered Tae Joo in bed, made him food, helped him in his daily life, took care of him. Helped with his homework and to fold his clothes, looked after him at school. Through the difficult years Tae Joo wouldn't have survived without the support of Kang Gook. For years, he had been a support and security for Tae Joo, from kindergarten life to the age of 21. And he still would be. That was the thing Tae Joo was most grateful for.
"Kang Gook." Tae Joo said gently.
He listened.
"I can't even imagine how you must have felt. But the truth is that I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. I came to stay. I came because of you. I want to be with you and only with you. I'm free from my father, just like you are. He can't prescribe us anymore. The time in England felt so long. I missed and thought about you every day. I was in contact with Pil Hyun, I knew my father would accept it, but I couldn't risk your safety. I couldn't contact you, my father would've found out somehow. I didn't even want to think he would hurt you again because of my own mistakes. I'm sure he had sent some of his men after me to England to make sure I kept my promise with him. And so I did, because I had to. But there wasn't a single day that I wouldn't have thought about you. Believe me."
Kang Gook believed. How could he not?
"I'm sure that our future is bright. And you're my future. We can do this together." Tae Joo said. He couldn't get his eyes off Kang Gook.
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
They both believed in it.
The hand on Tae Joo's cheek moved to brush Kang Gook's lower lip. Kang Gook couldn't help but stare at the other boy's plump lips. He would've liked to kiss him all the time. It felt so good.
And it was as if Tae Joo had read his thoughts at that moment, 'cause soon he felt him pressing his lips tightly against his own. This kiss was different. It had a lot more power in it. Want.
For a long time, Kang Gook had had strong feelings for Tae Joo. Even his innocent touch had made shivers run all over his body. Sometimes being with Tae Joo had been awkward, 'cause he had desperately wanted that boy. Not only mentally, but physically. But thinking about the circumstances, he had thought he couldn’t touch that adorable boy in his arms. There had been too many obstacles. Too many risks. He hadn't wanted to risk their friendship.
Those times when he had taken late night bouts with Tae Joo, when he had asked him to hug him and hold him in his arms, when he had asked him to wash his hair, or when they had looked into each other’s eyes a little longer than usual. Each time Kang Gook had wanted to kiss him. Tell him about his true feelings. He just hadn't been able to do it.
But now everything was different.
Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's tongue play with his lower lip. It felt new. What was he supposed to do? He did as he felt best, and opened his lips.
A sigh came from his lips as he felt Tae Joo's tongue play with his own. God, how good it felt. Was this that angry kiss? Was this the way it felt like? Kang Gook had never experienced anything like this. It felt better than he had ever imagined.
Their kisses had turned wet. Both tried to dominate the kiss. The tongues played with each other, there was no need for oxygen. At the same time, Kang Gook felt Tae Joo move on top of him, between his legs. Oh my God.
Kang Gook felt like his whole body was on fire. He felt his lower body tingle, and he knew what it meant. He wanted that boy.
"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook breathed against Tae Joo's lips. They were wet and swollen from the kisses. Tae Joo reluctantly pulled back from the kiss, but their lips were only millimeters away from each other. The look in Tae Joo’s eyes was something he hadn’t seen before.
"Tae Joo-ya, I..." Kang Gook hissed. He was sure Tae Joo felt his erection against his hips as he was completely attached to his body and the fabric of their pajama pants was thin.
"I know." Tae Joo said briefly. "Kang Gook, I want you too. I've wanted for a long time."
Kang Gook swallowed. You can't be serious. Would it really happen? Now? Tonight? Tae Joo knew he was a virgin, he had never been with anyone. Kang Gook was nervous. What if he did something wrong? What if he was bad? What if he hurt Tae Joo? He wanted to be the best possible partner for him, to treat him right in the future and make him feel good. Was he enough?
Kang Gook lied if he said he had never thought about them two intimately. It had just been a mere thought, but nonetheless made his crotch come to life every time. He knew Tae Joo, too, was a virgin, even though he had been kissing girls here and then, but things had never gone further. Kang Gook wanted his first time to be with Tae Joo, and that boy lying on top of him radiated a similar want. Want to touch, want to be touched.
"Kang Gook." Tae Joo uttered.
Kang Gook looked at his best friend's brown eyes. He was sure that Tae Joo could read him through his eyes.
"It's okay. Everything is fine. Don't be afraid. You can't hurt me." Tae Joo said with a small smile.
Kang Gook wanted to believe him, but he was still nervous. It would be his first time. For both of them. And they would do it together. The thought made cold shivers pass through Kang Gook's body.
"Actually..." Tae Joo said, and Kang Gook noticed his tone changed. It sounded seductive. At the same time, Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's lips on his neck. Soft lips kissed his delicate skin. "I've wanted you for years, even before I went to England. I always imagined my first time to be with you." Tae Joo purred.
Kang Gook felt like he was going to explode. Literally. The pressure in his pants already seemed unbearable, and the way Tae Joo pushed his hips slightly against his own made him dizzy. His grip on Tae Joo's hips tightened.
"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook breathed as he felt Tae Joo sucking his earlobe. Fucking hell. Tae Joo did it on purpose. He knew what Kang Gook's delicate spot was. Kang Gook couldn't describe how he felt. Not even the word awesome could describe it enough.
"I want you too." Kang Gook was finally able to sigh. After all this time, those words were finally allowed to say out loud. "So much."
As Tae Joo kissed his neck, Kang Gook felt his lips curl into a smile against his skin. Tae Joo retreated so that he could look Kang Gook in the eyes. There was a pure want in his eyes. And also something else. Love.
"Take me." Tae Joo breathed. And after hearing that, Kang Gook no longer objected.
In one quick move, Kang Gook pulled Tae Joo from the neck into a long, passionate kiss. It was just tongue and spit. Now that Kang Gook knew what kissing Tae Joo felt like, he couldn’t and didn’t even want to stop.
Kang Gook's other, trembling hand slipped under Tae Joo's shirt. His skin was so soft, so warm. For so long he had dreamed of touching Tae Joo elsewhere than just on top of his clothes, and now all that touching was finally allowed. As Tae Joo felt Kang Gook's touch on his bare skin, he couldn't stop the sigh of pleasure that had escaped from his lips. It all felt so good. So right.
Tae Joo sat better on Kang Gook's hips to help him take off his shirt. Tae Joo noticed Kang Gook's eyes circling on his bare chest.
"You’ve seen me like this so many times before." Tae Joo teased with a sly smile on his lips.
"I know, but I've never been able to touch you like this before." Kang Gook said, pulling Tae Joo back to his lips, not giving him a chance to respond.
Kang Gook rolled them over on bed to get himself on top. Tae Joo made more space between his legs, and his hands found the other boy's hips, pulling him more tightly against himself. It was clear what was going to happen. They both wanted each other just as much.
The feeling of Tae Joo’s hands sliding from his hips under his shirt, to caress his bare sides, chest and hips, wasn't able to be described. Tae Joo’s touch felt like an electric shock of pleasure. Kang Gook wanted more and more.
Tae Joo pulled Kang Gook’s shirt up as much as he could, and reluctantly Kang Gook took off his grip from the other boy. Kang Gook let Tae Joo take off his shirt. A breath came from Tae Joo's lips. He couldn't get his eyes off Kang Gook's gorgeous body. Tae Joo raised his hand on Kang Gook's muscular shoulders, letting them slide down, through his abdominal muscles to his hips. Tae Joo's touch had made Kang Gook to close his eyes. The warm touch of Tae Joo had made his body tingle. No matter where or how that boy touched him, he felt it everywhere.
"You can't be real."
Kang Gook heard Tae Joo saying, and he opened his eyes. Tae Joo's gaze circled around his bare upper body.
"All this time you've looked like this. How is it possible you haven't had anyone?" Tae Joo wondered out loud.
That boy in front of him looked divine. Kang Gook had always been physically stronger than him. His body had been in a good shape years ago, but the last few years had changed his body. The young man had grown more muscular. Kang Gook had spent a lot of time in the gym when Tae Joo had been in England, and it showed. Kang Gook’s muscular body was so opposite to Tae Joo’s own, small and slender body. Kang Gook looked too good to be true.
"Because all this time, I've always wanted one particular one."
Tae Joo looked up from the other boy's body into his eyes. Kang Gook's words meant more to him than he could show. All he could do was to put his hand around his neck and pull him back to his lips.
Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's bare chest against his own. Their nipples rubbed together, as did their hips. They both felt each other’s erections through the fabric of their pajamas. It caused shivers run through their bodies. Tae Joo moved his other hand over Kang Gook's hand, directing it to the waist of his pants. Kang Gook realized what Tae Joo wanted, but he still wanted his permission.
Gently Kang Gook pulled back from the passionate kiss. Their eyes met once again.
"Are you sure you want this?" Kang Gook asked. He wanted Tae Joo to say with words what he wanted.
Tae Joo had no doubt about what he wanted. The painful erection in his pants and that gorgeous boy on top of him told everything.
"Yes, I'm sure. I want this. I trust you, Kang Gook. I've always trusted."
Kang Gook felt his hands tremble as he took a grip on the waist of Tae Joo’s pants. Was he really going to do this? Undress his best friend? Of course they had seen each other naked many times, but back then they had been children. The child's mind couldn't consider nudity in any way "weird" or combine it with anything. But this situation was completely different. For the first time, Kang Gook would see Tae Joo naked that way.
They were going to break their last boundaries of friendship. After 18 years of friendship, there was much more going on. Real feelings. Not just innocent friendship.
Swallowing and encouraging himself, Kang Gook finally dared to pull off Tae Joo’s pajama pants along with his boxers.
Kang Gook breathed. He couldn't help but stare. There he was. His best friend, on his bed, naked. Really naked. Tae Joo's body was more beautiful than he could've even imagined. His erection stood hard and red against his lower stomach. Tae Joo had shaved. Kang Gook couldn't describe that sight in front of him with words. He could only touch.
His hand met Tae Joo's silky thigh. Tae Joo's eyes pressed shut and his head arched against the pillow. Every touch of Kang Gook felt indescribably good. The pleasure only increased as he felt Kang Gook's lips against his bare hips, giving the skin open-mouthed kisses and teasing licks. Tae Joo was hard and desperate. He felt his body tremble at the touch of Kang Gook's lips.
Tae Joo’s skin under Kang Gook’s fingertips and lips felt so soft. His thumb brushed Tae Joo's thigh while his lips kissed the other boy's body all the way from his hips across his chest towards his neck. Tae Joo felt Kang Gook leaving a damp trail behind him after each kiss. He sighed and hummed with pleasure. It was like music to Kang Gook’s ears.
"You're so beautiful." Kang Gook couldn't help but breathe against Tae Joo's ear. "So beautiful."
Kang Gook was out of words. At that moment, it was difficult for him to put his thoughts properly into words.
As he kissed Tae Joo's neck, Tae Joo's hands fumbled with his pajama pants, and Kang Gook helped him take them off.
Tae Joo wanted to see. He wanted to touch. Gently he pushed Kang Gook further away so that their eyes met. Tae Joo breathed in excitement. Kang Gook had gotten him crazy with lust.
Slowly, Tae Joo moved his gaze from Kang Gook's eyes to his crotch. He swallowed. Kang Gook was big. Hard, leaking, and oh so big. A wave of pleasure passed through Tae Joo's entire body and water rose to his tongue. Without saying a word, he took his other hand to Kang Gook’s erection, and wrapped his fingers tenderly around it.
Kang Gook murmured with pleasure and pressed his head against Tae Joo's shoulder as he felt his hand between his legs. Oh God oh God oh God.
For the first time ever, he felt someone other than his own hand touching him. Tae Joo's hand was so warm, so soft. He knew he would lose the rest of his senses if Tae Joo didn't stop touching him soon. It was too good.
"Tae Joo-ya, please, I'll come too soon if you keep doing that." Kang Gook muttered, and he heard Tae Joo laugh a little. You little tease.
Tae Joo didn’t know where he had gotten the courage to touch the other boy, but he wasn’t sorry about it at all. He felt Kang Gook's precum spreading in the palm of his hand while caressing him, causing a wet noise to be heard in the room. Kang Gook felt so big in his fingers, and he was filled with desire of knowing how he would feel inside of him.
Kang Gook breathed heavily against his shoulder, the pleasure of sighs escaping from his lips. Gently Kang Gook took Tae Joo's hand away from his manhood, and let their fingers intertwine. With the other hand, Tae Joo pressed Kang Gook's body against his own. The feeling when their completely naked bodies pressed together was magical. Far too good to be true. A deep howl escaped from Tae Joo's lips against Kang Gook's own, and he couldn't help but push his hips against his.
Kang Gook himself tried to stay calm. No matter how much he wanted to push himself inside the other boy and make love to him without any barrier, Tae Joo’s desires went before his own. If Tae Joo now said he wanted to stop, or that he didn’t want this, Kang Gook would understand. They were taking the biggest step ever. Hurting the boy lying under him was the last thing he wanted. It would be their first time, and Kang Gook would do anything to make Tae Joo feel good.
Kang Gook broke their kiss, demanding eye contact with Tae Joo. Their foreheads pressed together, the heavy breathing coming out from their mouths.
"You can say no at any time. I don't want to hurt you. Ever."
There was a loving smile on Tae Joo's lips. "I'm sure Kang Gook. I'm not going to say no. I don't want to say no. You're not going to hurt me."
It took Kang Gook a little while before he nodded. "I... I don't have a condom." He admitted quietly. He hadn't prepared for Tae Joo to return to him on that day, nor had he assumed that their first night in three years would lead to this.
Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's hand on his cheek. "It doesn't matter. I want to feel you. All of you." He breathed.
Kang Gook looked into Tae Joo’s beautiful eyes, surrounded by dark, long lashes. That boy lying beneath him evoked feelings in him that he himself found difficult to understand. Tae Joo's words had gone straight to his groin. Soon he would feel his best friend completely. Without any kind of barrier. Even thinking about it made Kang Gook more aroused.
He did what he was addicted to in a short moment: pressed his lips against Tae Joo's own. Tae Joo's hands pulled Kang Gook more tightly against his own body from his neck. They were in no hurry. It was going to be something so special. Something they would never forget. They wanted to take their own time, all that time was for them. At their disposal. And they wanted to enjoy every second.
As he kissed Tae Joo's red lips, Kang Gook fumbled his hand towards the drawer of his nightstand, taking out the bottle of lube. With one hand, he opened the tube, applying in to his fingers. Without opening his eyes, Tae Joo knew what Kang Gook was doing. All the sounds from the drawer of the nightstand to the opening of the tube, said it all.
"Touch me." Tae Joo breathed against Kang Gook's lips, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. Was he nervous? A little. But he trusted Kang Gook more than anyone else, and knew he wouldn’t hurt him. The first time was rarely perfect, but Kang Gook was perfect for him. They would make it perfect for them, together.
Kang Gook knew that Tae Joo knew what he was doing. He had said he trusted him, and wanted this just as much. Kang Gook wanted to look at the boy lying under him when he touched him for the first time. He wanted to remember that moment.
So he touched. His wet fingers found Tae Joo's warm entrance, caressing his most intimate place. Tae Joo sighed with pleasure, his nails dug into Kang Gook's shoulders. His touch felt good. So good. He felt as if his body was no longer controllable, as it was difficult for him to stay in place. His body burned with a desire to feel Kang Gook's wet fingers inside of him.
Kang Gook stared at the sight in front of him. Tae Joo's neck had arched back from the pleasure, little sights escaped from his open mouth. He felt Tae Joo's thighs vibrate beneath him. Pleasure had blinded that boy. Kang Gook wanted to see more of it, so carefully he pushed his middle finger inside.
A yelp coming from Tae Joo's lips filled Kang Gook's bedroom. Kang Gook’s touch felt so new. And being honest, strange. Tae Joo wasn’t sure how he felt, because that feeling was so new to him. Did it hurt? Yes. Somehow. However, the pain wasn't unbearable. He tried to relax his body, because he knew it would help. He needed it to be able to enjoy something completely different soon, than just Kang Gook’s fingers. The boy touching him was big. It would hurt, but he trusted Kang Gook.
Kang Gook couldn't think of anything else than just that beautiful, signing boy underneath him. His eyes looked at his finger, which moved slowly inside of Tae Joo. Kang Gook felt his muscles tighten around his finger. That sight was something so intimate. So arousing. He wasn’t sure how long he would last inside of that boy, if he already felt like this around just one of his fingers. He was so tight and hot. Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's nails digging against his skin, his body was trembling. He knew his finger felt uncomfortable, but he had to prepare Tae Joo for what was yet to come.
Carefully, Kang Gook flexed his finger. He felt he had hit something that caused Tae Joo’s spine to arch backwards. Kang Gook thought he had hurt him, so he stopped his movement. The strange feeling Tae Joo had felt had turned into pleasure when Kang Gook had flexed his finger. It had hit a spot inside of him that had made him see the stars. It had felt good. And he wanted to feel it again.
"Am I hurting?" Kang Gook asked worriedly. He wanted to know if Tae Joo’s noises were caused by pain or pleasure.
Tae Joo shook his head. "No." He gasped. "Keep going."
And he did. Carefully, he added another finger, this time flexing both of them. He didn't look away from Tae Joo's face. He was enjoying it. All Kang Gook was able to see was pure pleasure. Tae Joo’s muscles immediately tightened more strongly after Kang Gook added another finger. He sighed with pleasure. Those two fingers hit that one spot over and over again, causing the shivers of pleasure to run through his entire body. The pain was replaced with something that was hard to describe. Tae Joo had never experienced anything like that. Kang Gook touched him so good, gently and tenderly.
Soon Tae Joo began to feel impatient. Although those two fingers felt good, he wanted to get that boy inside of him. He took a hold from the hand between his legs, and wrapped his hand around Kang Gook's wrist.
"Kang Gook, I'm ready." Tae Joo gasped.
Slowly Kang Gook pulled his fingers from inside him, quickly wiping them on the white sheet. He opened the lube, putting it into his hand and then applying it to his erection. As he did so, Tae Joo looked at him while biting his lower lip. He knew he was ready. Kang Gook settled better between Tae Joo's legs. He felt his erection touch his wet entrance. While being so close to Tae Joo, Kang Gook felt the warmth radiating from him. He was like the sun. His sun.
"Please let me know if it hurts." Kang Gook asked. No. Begged. "I'll stop right away. I promise to be gentle but... Please, tell me."
Kang Gook’s caring was one thing Tae Joo loved. Kang Gook’s tone changed whenever he was worried. It was tender and powerful. It also meant that he cared.
Tae Joo nodded. "I promise."
Kang Gook lowered himself, closer to Tae Joo's face. They looked into each other's eyes. That look they shared was completely new. Kang Gook wanted to look at Tae Joo right in the eye when he pushed inside of him for the first time. It was really going to happen. There was no turning back, but neither of them would've done it at any cost. This is what they both wanted. Had wanted for so long.
When Kang Gook looked at Tae Joo's eyes, he knew where he belonged. Where he had always belonged. They had spent almost their entire lives together, sharing the joys and sorrows of their lives with each other. Been in support of each other on both good and bad days. Although they were different, opposites of each other, they maintained each other. Like Jing and Jang. Inseparable.
"I love you." Kang Gook said without breaking the eye contact.
He felt that moment was perfect for those three words. He had felt that way three years ago, but hadn't been able to say it. If Tae Joo had heard those words back then, he wouldn't have been able to leave to England, and his father would've invented a new way to separate them. It might not have ended happily. But now the situation was different. Kang Gook was the happiest, happiest than he had ever been. And he wanted to share his happiness with that boy he loved so much. Tae Joo deserved to hear those words every day.
Tae Joo felt his heart skip a beat. Hearing those words warmed his heart. He had felt the same way three years ago, but he had been afraid to say them out loud because of his father. Tae Joo wouldn’t have been able to leave their bedroom that night if he had said those three words to that boy. If either of them had said them then, God knows what could've happened. But now Tae Joo could finally say those three words back to a man whose bright eyes looked right at him.
"I love you." Tae Joo breathed as tears filled his eyes, and his hands on Kang Gook's shoulders moved to his cheeks, pulling the boy he loved to his lips. He was so happy. Now those words had been said. It felt so good. They no longer needed to hesitate or question the other’s feelings. They had had to go through a lot over the years. Ups and downs, good and bad days. But now that those three words had finally been said out loud, all that struggle had been worth their love.
Kang Gook pulled away from the long kiss, pressing his forehead against Tae Joo's. Tae Joo's mouth opened with sighs when Kang Gook finally decided to push inside of him little by little. Tae Joo's hands squeezed Kang Gook's shoulders, arms, neck, and everywhere where he was able to take a hold from. His eyes closed tightly. It hurt. It really hurt. Tae Joo didn’t know how to be, what to do or what to say. He could only gasp in pain and cling to the man on top of him. Kang Gook felt so big. He knew he was trying not to hurt him, but the first time was always difficult. Tae Joo tried to relax his body.
After hearing those three words back from the other boy's mouth, Kang Gook's mind had filled with a warm feeling. The feeling had only grown as Tae Joo pulled him back to his lips. At the same time, Kang Gook had decided to make his last move, and push inside of the other boy. That feeling was hard to be described. That warmth, softness and tightness. Kang Gook saw the stars. It felt so good. He felt Tae Joo’s muscles tighten around his erection. The groans and sighs from Tae Joo's lips filled his ears, and Kang Gook looked at his face. The look on Tae Joo's face told everything. He was in pain.
Kang Gook wanted to make Tae Joo feel better, so he pressed his lips back against his own. Their tongues immediately found each other. The kisses were wet. Kang Gook tried to relax Tae Joo with the kisses, as his body felt so stiff. Tae Joo's hands found their way back to Kang Gook's neck, pressing the other boy more tightly to his lips. He felt so full. Kang Gook was far from small, and it took some time to get used to that whole new feeling.
"Are you okay? Am I hurting you a lot?" Kang Gook asked quietly against his lips. He hadn’t pushed completely inside of him, but he stayed still, giving Tae Joo time to get used to it.
"It hurts a bit. Ouh, you're so big." Tae Joo gasped, squeezing the back of Kang Gook's neck with his fingers. He could only wait for the pain to be replaced by pleasure. He wanted to be able to enjoy that moment as much as Kang Gook did. "Keep going."
"Are you sure?" Kang Gook asked hesitantly. If the pain Tae Joo felt was too much for him, they could stop.
Tae Joo had lost his count of how many times Kang Gook had asked was he okay or not that night. He was so caring.
"I'm sure. I trust you." Tae Joo said. Kang Gook nodded slightly, letting out a little 'okay'. Pushing completely inside of the other boy, he didn't look away. Tae Joo's eyes closed again, and he bit his lip.
"Relax. Breathe." Kang Gook asked, kissing Tae Joo's forehead, cheek, nose, and finally his lips. Tae Joo nodded, and tried to relax. When he felt Kang Gook completely inside, he felt even fuller.
Carefully, Kang Gook pulled back, and slowly pushing back inside the other. A sigh escaped from Tae Joo's lips, and his head arched back on the pillow. Kang Gook didn't miss the opportunity, he let his lips fill Tae Joo's long neck with wet kisses. Tae Joo felt so good. Pushing inside of him again, made Kang Gook shiver. Tae Joo’s tightness and heat were too much for him. He really didn’t want to come too soon.
It had taken some time for Tae Joo to get used to that situation, but now that Kang Gook had allowed himself to move slowly inside, he had managed to relax his body. Kang Gook’s kisses and touches had helped him. He was so tender. Little by little, that strange feeling had turn into something better. Tae Joo liked it. He felt good.
"You feel so good." Kang Gook breathed against Tae Joo's neck. "You're so warm."
Kang Gook’s words made Tae Joo’s body tingle with pleasure. Tae Joo let Kang Gook’s bedroom fill with gasps and sighs. He wasn't able to be quiet, because every time he felt Kang Gook pull back and push back inside, he felt good. The pain was gone, and all that was left, was pleasure.
Kang Gook was able to read Tae Joo's movements and the noises from his lips. He enjoyed it. That's what Kang Gook wanted. He kept his movements and thrusts calm, not wanting to rush during their first time. Their first time. Tae Joo really was there, naked under him, enjoying all that Kang Gook himself was giving him. That's how it was supposed to be.
"I love you." Tae Joo couldn't help but say.
"I love you too." Kang Gook said, and drowned Tae Joo with kisses.
Tae Joo responded passionately to Kang Gook's kisses, wrapping his legs around his waist, pressing him more tightly against his body. As the result, Kang Gook pushed even deeper inside of him, hitting that spot that made Tae Joo see the stars. That sudden, more powerful wave of pleasure to both of them made their kisses break and the sighs escape into the air.
"Kang Gook - ah." Tae Joo gasped. "Do that again." He asked.
Kang Gook had felt it too. He was sure he had hit that small spot inside of Tae Joo that made him crazy with lust. He could never say no to Tae Joo, so he did it again.
Tae Joo howled with pleasure, and his nails pressed against Kang Gook's back. He knew he was leaving marks. The pleasure he had just experienced was so amazing. He hadn’t imagined that sex would feel like this.
"Harder, please. Fuck me harder." Tae Joo begged.
Kang Gook swallowed. He was blinded by pleasure. He knew he could touch Tae Joo without hurting him. He had Tae Joo’s permission to fuck him harder. He wouldn't say no. Kang Gook took a better position between Tae Joo's legs and added strength to his movements. Every brutal thrust got a yelp escaping from Tae Joo's lips. Kang Gook loved that voice. He wanted to see more. He wanted to see Tae Joo completely underneath him, enjoying it all, so he got on his knees and grabbed Tae Joo’s thighs without slowing down his movements.
The sight beneath him was the most beautiful in the world. He would never forget it. Tae Joo squeezed the pillow under his head, his belly was wet from precum, and his back arched backwards from the pleasure. And he wasn't quiet even for a moment. Kang Gook felt himself being so close to coming, as Tae Joo tightened around him, but he didn't want it to be over yet.
Kang Gook slowed his movements, and let his hands wander on Tae Joo's warm body. Tae Joo breathed heavily, and wherever Kang Gook touched him, his body trembled under his fingers.
"Come here." Kang Gook said tenderly, wrapping his arms around Tae Joo's delicate body.
Tae Joo understood what Kang Gook wanted, so he helped himself to a sitting position, wrapping his arms around Kang Gook's neck, ending up sitting on the other boy's lap. Tae Joo wrapped his legs around Kang Gook's waist. In that position, Tae Joo felt Kang Gook’s erection push deeper inside. Their chests pressed together, and Kang Gook's hands stroked Tae Joo's bare skin. Tae Joo felt Kang Gook's hands on his back, his ass, his hips, everywhere. Two strong hands squeezed his buttocks.
Kang Gook let Tae Joo move on top of him, holding on to him and following his movements. Kang Gook kissed his neck, letting his lips suck his soft skin. Tae Joo felt the skin of his neck sore a little, and he knew what Kang Gook was doing. He marked him. The thought of it made Tae Joo even more aroused. It didn't help at all that his erection rubbed against Kang Gook's stomach. He was close.
"You're so damn beautiful. You're tightening around me. You're so tight." Kang Gook growled against Tae Joo's neck. "You feel amazing."
Tae Joo couldn’t answer. Even keeping his eyes open felt difficult. The bedroom was filled with loud sighs as well as their connected bodies. Tae Joo was sure he had reached the highest level of pleasure. Nothing else mattered. There were only the two of them, and the moment they shared.
"Do you like it?" Tae Joo heard Kang Gook ask.
Oh honey, guess twice.
"I love it. You're so good." Tae Joo sighed, his head spinning.
Tae Joo’s response made a proud smile spread to Kang Gook’s lips. He grabbed Tae Joo tightly from his waist, helping him move faster. He slapped his ass. Tae Joo's head arched back from the pleasure on Kang Gook's lap. Tae Joo’s long, marked neck was right in front of Kang Gook, and he had to admit he had done a good job. That boy on him was perfect.
Kang Gook wanted to kiss Tae Joo from everywhere, so he sucked his other nipple into his mouth. It caused Tae Joo to cling onto Kang Gook's neck with both hands. He was losing his mind. Kang Gook’s erection inside him, his hands on his ass and his lips on his nipple were way too much. He wasn't sure how long he could last. The feeling in his crotch was almost unbearable, but he didn’t want that moment to end. Not yet.
Kang Gook finally removed his lips from Tae Joo's bruised nipple and put his other hand around Tae Joo's neck. He wanted to get Tae Joo’s lips against his own. The open-mouthed kisses played with each other in harmony with wet tongues. Kang Gook held Tae Joo tightly in his arms as he leaned forward, helping Tae Joo to lie back on the bed. Kang Gook rose to his knees and admired the boy beneath him.
Tae Joo was his and only his, and he would tell it to the whole world. Their gazes met, and Kang Gook began to move again, grabbing Tae Joo's thighs. Tae Joo loved the way he manhandled him. His thrusts were strong and quick. Tae Joo had become even hotter around his erection. They both knew it wouldn’t last long.
"You're mine." Kang Gook breathed between his thrusts. "Only mine."
"I'm yours." Tae Joo muttered and squeezed the pillow under his head. "Touch me, please, please." He wanted to feel Kang Gook's hands on him.
Without saying a word, Kang Gook took his other hand from Tae Joo's thigh to his hard erection, and wrapped his fingers around it. Tae Joo's whole body trembled. He was sure his cries would be heard all the way outside. Every touch of Kang Gook felt so good. Tae Joo felt his head spinning, he saw the stars. He was so close, but didn't want to come. He wanted to enjoy it just a bit longer.
"Kang Gook - ah, please I- I'm so close." Tae Joo yelled and his toes curled. Kang Gook didn't stop moving. Tae Joo felt him hitting that spot inside him all the time. He loved it. He loved it all.
"Come for me, Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook asked. He wanted to see Tae Joo come from his touch. He speeded up his movements around Tae Joo's erection, causing him to squirm from pleasure even more. It was hard for him to even breathe. Sweat had risen on their skin. The room felt hot. Tae Joo felt a huge tingling in his lower stomach. He was so close. He knew he was tightening his muscles around Kang Gook, but couldn't do anything about it. Kang Gook’s hand on his erection was too much.
"Kang Gook, Kang Gook, I'm going to come - ah, ah, Kang Gook!" Tae Joo screamed. His indescribable pleasure swept through his entire body, which finally exploded, causing his body to shiver recklessly. He came hard while screaming on Kang Gook's hand and on his own stomach, staining his skin with his white liquid.
That sight was too much for Kang Gook. He felt massive tightness around his erection, and he gave up. With his final hard thrust he came inside of Tae Joo. He felt all that heat flowing from Kang Gook to himself, and he couldn’t describe that feeling. Breathing was difficult, his body trembled, his vision was blurry.
Kang Gook wasn't able to stay on his knees any more longer, so he lowered himself down on top of Tae Joo, kissing his swollen lips. Tae Joo wrapped his arms around Kang Gook's sweaty body. They both breathed heavily against each other’s lips, enjoying that post-orgasmic feeling.
After a moment, Kang Gook carefully pulled out from Tae Joo, causing him to sigh. He knew Tae Joo would feel his body sore tomorrow. Kang Gook moved to lie next to him. They tried to get their heavy breathing to calm down.
"That was... Amazing. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Kang Gook asked.
Tae Joo turned his gaze to the boy lying next to him, who looked at him straight back.
"I'm fine. You were great, and I... I loved it. It was amazing." Tae Joo breathed heavily, a small smile playing on his lips. His hand had found Kang Gook's own, intertwined with his fingers.
Kang Gook smiled too. "Good. I was a little worried at first." He admitted. "It was perfect."
"It was perfect." Tae Joo agreed.
It had really happened. They had just lost their virginity to the man they both had wanted. Neither of them regretted anything. It had indeed been perfect, mind-blowing. Even after sex, Tae Joo could feel Kang Gook's touch on his skin. He had been so tender. It had all been better than he could've even imagined.
Kang Gook wrapped his arms around Tae Joo's shoulders, signaling him to come closer to him. Tae Joo belonged there, in his arms. Tae Joo lowered his other hand on Kang Gook's chest. Their bodies felt sweaty and damp, but they didn't care. After some time their breathing had calmed down, and tiredness took over. Tae Joo felt Kang Gook kiss his hair. Being so close to Kang Gook, in his arms, felt so good and safe. His lovely scent, currently mixed with sex, filled Tae Joo's lungs. He wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.
Tae Joo looked up at the boy lying next to him. His brown eyes behind his long lashes looked back at him. They were so beautiful. Tae Joo was able to see so much love in his eyes. Just looking at him made Tae Joo’s heart jump in his chest. That boy was all he needed.
"You're perfect." Tae Joo breathed. "In every way possible. I... I've been in love with you as long as I can remember. Just your existence has given me safety, not only the fact that my father hired you to be my bodyguard. You just... You've always been there. With me. For me. The fact that I was able to live far away from you for three years, feels unbelievable even to me. But knowing that you were here, waiting, gave me strength. The strength to keep going and wait. Because I'm so in love with you."
Tae Joo had so much to say. So many thoughts and feelings had filled his brain in England, and he hadn't been able to say them out loud to the boy he loved. It had felt awful. But now that he was finally in Kang Gook's arms, telling about his feelings felt easy. He wanted Kang Gook to know what he was thinking and feeling, and how much he had really needed him. He hadn't missed a bodyguard in England, but a friend. A friend to spend every hour with. A friend to talk to. A friend who would help. A friend who would listen. And now that friend was finally here.
"You really are my everything. You've always been." Tae Joo meant it with all his heart.
Kang Gook was speechless. They had always been close, goofing around, sleeping in the same bed, hugging... To other people it must've been so weird. But for them, normal. Only three years ago, Tae Joo had begun to show him his true feelings. How had he been able to keep his feelings inside for so long? How Kang Gook hadn't noticed anything before?
Those words Tae Joo just said to him meant so much. All he could do was to pull that boy into a long kiss. He hoped that kiss would say everything he really wanted to say to Tae Joo.
Meanwhile, Kang Gook hated himself. He wasn't perfect, even though Tae Joo had said so. He had hurt that boy. He had said stupid things, and only a moment later he had thought he had lost him completely. That one night...
"I love you, Tae Joo-ya. So much." Kang Gook said against his lips. "I'm so sorry."
Tae Joo didn't understand. "What are you sorry for?"
"Our last night together before you left... What I said..." Kang Gook swallowed. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean anything of it. What I said was stupid and rude. I shouldn't have said anything like that. I got scared of my own feelings and panicked, but it really can't be the reason for my words. When I saw you crying, it broke me inside. I was the reason for your tears, because I was the one who hurt you. And I'm so, so sorry. When you spent that one week in Japan, I missed you. I missed you so much. And when I said that I can live without you, but you can't live without me, was a lie. Because I can't live without you either."
Tae Joo got emotional. Kang Gook's beautiful face had turned blurry in his eyes. He hadn't been angry with Kang Gook for years, he had forgiven, even though he had never told him that. Tae Joo had known that Kang Gook hadn't meant his words. But those words he had meant. And those last sentences had caused the tears to appear to Tae Joo's eyes.
"When I came back to our home that night and saw the mess in our living room, my first thought was that you had to be okay. There was no other option. But when I didn't see you anywhere, I freaked out. I had to find you. At first I didn't even think that your father was to blame before Pil Hyun told me. But the feeling I felt that night... I can't describe it. I was horrified. I thought you were really kidnapped. That you were dead. I thought I lost you. I never want to feel that feeling again. Ever again."
Kang Gook’s words were too much for Tae Joo. He pressed his lips against his, letting his tears flow down his cheeks, mixing with their kisses. Tae Joo didn't want to think how Kang Gook had felt. If he had been the one thinking Kang Gook was dead then... No. He didn't want to think that. Not even for one second. He was so sorry that Kang Gook had had to think of something so awful. No one should think anything like that.
"Don't cry." Kang Gook whispered against Tae Joo's lips, wiping the tears from his cheeks with his thumbs. However, new tears replaced the old ones. "I don't want to see you cry. Come here."
Kang Gook wrapped his arms tightly around Tae Joo's body, and Tae Joo clung to his neck. He cried against Kang Gook's skin, watering it with tears. Kang Gook let the other one cry, even though it made him feel bad. It was better to let it all out than to keep it inside. Kang Gook was there, for him, stroking his bare back gently, whispering in his ear that it was okay. Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's grip tighten around his neck, as if he was afraid the other one would disappear from his grip.
"It's okay, everything is okay. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere." Kang Gook shushed. Tae Joo's body trembled with the force of crying. Kang Gook didn’t remember the last time Tae Joo had cried this much. It hurt. When Tae Joo felt bad, he did too. Kang Gook tried to keep his own tears away.
"I'm so sorry that you had to think of something like that. If I'd need to think I'd lost you, I... God, I don't want to think about it." Tae Joo sobbed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean my words either. It was a stupid fight that I want to forget. I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you." He continued. "I love you."
Kang Gook was relieved to hear those words. Tae Joo wasn't mad at him. All this time, he had regretted for not apologizing sooner. But now that he knew Tae Joo wanted to forget, Kang Gook wanted too. Tae Joo had forgiven him, and that was the most important thing.
"I love you too." He said back. Saying those words was so easy.
There they layed, clinging to each other. Kang Gook had never stopped caressing Tae Joo's back. Tae Joo had stopped crying, he was breathing calmly, enjoying Kang Gook’s presence and touch. They were okay now. After three long years, both were relieved. They had gotten each other back. Feelings had been released. Their thoughts were clear, and their future together bright. All that struggle over the years had been worth of all that love.
As Kang Gook caressed the boy lying in his arms, he realized he hadn't said that one important sentence back to him.
"Tae Joo-ya. I know I used to try to push you away. All those touches and words of yours, and when you tried to kiss me, it made me confused. I had been trying for so long to keep my feelings hidden from you. But now..." Kang Gook began.
Tae Joo waited for Kang Gook to continue. He looked at him in the eyes.
"But now?"
"But now I feel free. You finally know what I feel for you. You were always the only one I wanted. And now you're here. Now we're here. You're my everything too, Tae Joo-ya."
A happy smile rose on Tae Joo's lips. He was happiest than ever. All those words Kang Gook said that night had hit into his heart. Never before had Kang Gook been so open about his feelings than during that night. It felt good. Kang Gook had finally torn down his wall, letting Tae Joo inside, to him. Tae Joo was more than grateful for that. He was sure he could never thank Kang Gook enough. For everything. For everything he had done for him. What he had said, what he had sacrificed for him. It all told him how much Kang Gook loved him. All he could do was to give Kang Gook as much love in return.
"You know what." Tae Joo started. "Since when we were kids, you were there for me, when my dad wasn't. And when my mom died... You were the one who helped me with everything. I'm so, so, so thankful for that." He said, meaning every word.
Kang Gook kissed Tae Joo's forehead. He loved the boy in his arms so much. He would've done anything for him. At that moment, he wasn't able to say anything. Sometimes you didn't need words. Just being there, was enough.
"I'm sure my mom would've liked you a lot. Us, like this." Tae Joo said soon, loving smile on his lips.
He really meant it. He was sad he wasn't able to show the love of his life to a woman he missed so much. They had been 6-year-olds when she had passed away, and Tae Joo wasn't able to remember every little thing about his mother. But one thing he was sure about, was that she would've been okay with this. Him and Kang Gook, being together. But as Kang Gook had once said, maybe she really was looking down at them from the clouds.
Kang Gook smiled, lovingly. "I'm sure about it too." He said.
Soon Tae Joo raised his other hand on Kang Gook's cheek. He stroked his soft, flawless skin. There he was, watching his future.
"I'm not going to leave you. I'll always be here with you." Tae Joo was able to promise. Finally.
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
"Always?"
"Always."
And always was all they ever wanted.
