my life has been a bunch of little loses that come continuously and steadily. this is why

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@feelingstoavoid
my life has been a bunch of little loses that come continuously and steadily. this is why
being alive is like: you want to go home. you don't know where home is. you want to go home. you don't know where home is. you want to go home. you haven't known for a long time. you want to go home but you don't know where you'd go. you want to go home you want to go home you want to go home
“This is the loneliest I have ever felt”
—
“A human being is so miserable when all he wants is to stay alive.”
— Sigmund Freud, The Man In Private Life
i was taught at a very young age that i am unlovable, that my feelings are too big. that never went away.
they're minor inconveniences TO YOU. i WILL consider killing myself
every girl should be allowed to lie on the floor for 16 hours a day to cope with the agonies
literally every day i say to myself “wow i’m having a really bad one today” like girl i think this is just your life.
okay, i’ve had enough character development. now i want happiness and a stable relationship
One day I'll forgive myself for all the years I wasted!!! But today I think I'm going to lay down in my bed and torture myself with it
And then I think
that maybe
I was designed
to be alone
...
i cant believe im still relating to the things on this blog like years later. this wasn’t supposed to be my life
the reason why young adult books make me so fucking sad is that they remind me of the childhood and teenagerhood that was stolen from me.
Shout out to my parents that the messed me up enough to be a problem but not enough to actually separate myself from them.
I feel… like the most unlovable creature to ever live.
I’m not even sure how it can keep getting worse anymore?
But somehow it does.
It. always. does.
I have never been understood by another person and that’s one fucking lonely existence.