It's A Free Market For Ass-Kicking

25, he/him, fic prompts welcome :) same user on ao3

[nflstreet-deactivated20180710]

life comes at you fast

[red-mccloud]

old man assaulted for having opinion in democratic republic of commiefornia

[nflstreet-deactivated20180710]

*picks fights and says “punch me” to people who say hes an asshole*

“WAHHHH WHY DID THEY ACTUALLY DO IT”

[pixielight-dee-foxfire]

[orestian-deactivated20180120]

It’s A Free Market For Ass Kicking In The Citadel Of Capitalism

[yuumei-art]

It's wild blueberry season in Sweden and I've been picking and eating my fill everyday from the forest behind my house! The entire forest floor is covered in wild blueberry bushes and the tangy taste is so cosmic, I had to paint them✨ Photos of the berries I picked!

Painting process~

[teaboot]

Not to be rhe ten millionth person to say “USAmerican President Donald Trump Is An Incoherent Public Speaker Whose Train Of Thought Can Be Best Described As Scat Jazz” but I just remembered that when he talks at international events it is several dozen people’s job to translate what he’s saying and what he intends to say to world leaders in real time

And I desperately wish to hear how they do it

[teaboot]

If anyone reading this isn’t fluent enough in English to understand the sentences that man says, please know that he has essentially mixed a number of adjectives and topics together in a hat and is pulling them out at random like a horrible children’s game

[teaboot]

Like that waxy jaundiced bitch will straight up be like “J'étais sur internet l'autre jour – internet, la plus grande invention américaine. Et la Chine a “internet aussi. Pas un bon internet, pas comme le mien, j'ai un internet formidable. Les gens me disent : « Donald, ton internet est génial ! » On adore l'internet de Donald. Mais la Chine… Chine, Chine, Chine… Vous savez qu'ils mangent des oiseaux ? C'est terrible. J'adore les oiseaux. La Chine mange des oiseaux. Pas comme nous. Pas comme mes oiseaux. Mais vous savez, c'est comme ça, et c'est terrible. Mais voilà ce que je vais faire : je vais sauver les oiseaux. Je vais sauver internet et sauver les oiseaux. Tous ces magnifiques oiseaux. Pour l'Amérique. Et la Chine va nous détester pour ça. Ils vont nous détester parce qu'on est les meilleurs sur oiseaux”. And people will lose their minds

[angryraptor13]

International translators have had this problem for A While - if they *don't* clean up what he says to sound coherent, they look like they're doing a bad job.

Why is difficult to translate Donald Trump? Trumpslation explained.

Explore Trump translation challenges, tips for interpreters, and 2025 strategies for accurate political translation and Trumpslation success

[teaboot]

oh my god

[freckles-a-constellation]

There was a scandal in Poland because one translator decided to translate him accurately, tone, vocabulary level and word salad tangents and all. Polish conservatives who don't speak English and previously only heard smoothed out translations that sounded coherent and used big words were up in arms about how the translator was "inserting her political agenda", "mocking him", "exaggerating", "purposefully trying to make him look bad" and "incredibly unprofessional". I listened to the translation in question. It was literally just accurate.

[kimbureh]

5. Sensitive and Controversial Language Trump’s speeches occasionally contain misogynistic, sexist, or inflammatory language. Japanese interpreter Tsuruta, for example, faced challenges when translating sexualized remarks, ultimately opting for standard terminology to maintain professionalism. Similarly, Chinese translator Kumiko Torikai found certain lewd expressions ethically challenging, ultimately leading to her retirement. Navigating these situations requires skillful balancing of accuracy, professionalism, and cultural sensitivity, ensuring that the translation is appropriate without distorting the original intent.

I don't know why the authors of PoliLingua act as if Trump's verbal misogyny and racism wasn't very much part of his "original intent".

it only now dawns on me that millions of people on this planet think Trump is way smarter than he is because translators have neglected to relate his violent speech accurately out of misunderstood politeness. Make the ape sound like a ape

[cosmogyros]

We had a mini-scandal in the German translation/interpretation community last year about exactly this – the interpreter for the inauguration got sick of Trump's incoherence and made a remark into his mic that was not intended to be heard (here's my post on it).

[jackabbotsdog]

Pet store adoption- (Part 1-3) Part 4

(this is 4k of smut and tiny Dennis lore background btw, hope u like it freaks 🐶)

Dennis thinks he might combust, laid here on their bed- which really really smells like them, both of them, in a way he wants to just roll and wriggle around in until he's covered in their scent.

"Do you wanna touch the puppy first? Sounds like he's been good for you."

On his right, Jack is gently tracing his fingertips up inside of Dennis' t-shirt, feather-light touches across his softening stomach- all those treats and lazing about in the shops making his farm work toning less defined. Earlier on the tour of their house he saw a bunch of exercise stuff he guesses belongs to Jack, maybe Jack will let him-

Theres a hand on his face, and he turns into it. Oh his left Robby presses up against him, one hand on his hip and his thumb stroking his face gently.

"Lets kiss him a little first Jack-" He tilts Dennis chin up. "He's always rushing puppy, running from one thing to the next."

Jack scoffs, but Dennis can't bring himself to pay attention because Robby's soft lips are pressing against his own.

He's being kissed!

!!!

Dennis has never been kissed in his life!!

Robby wants to kiss him!!!!!

He presses forward excitedly and his teeth clack against Robby's, and he slips a bit getting Robby's lower lip and chin a little wet. Dennis feels him laugh against his lips and frowns, trying to pull back a little, but Jack presses up against his back. 

"Shh you're okay pup, it's all so exciting huh little one?" He strokes a hand over his fur but keeping him from shuffling away and curling up in embarrassment. "Slow down a little, close your eyes for me, can you do that? Thats it- just like that good boy- now press forward slowly, don't move too much yet, let Mike lead okay? Thats it- oh puppy those little huffy whines are really something huh?" 

Oh shit, Dennis can feel his cunt clenching, sandwiched between them and wiggling his butt a little to try and …. what? Stop the feeling? Make it more intense? He doesn't know. All he knows is that Robby is moving against him so sweetly, pressing more gently this time and nibbling at his bottom lip. 

"Does that feel good?" 

Dennis nods desperately. 

"Yeah it does, little wiggles. You seeing this Michael?" 

Robby chuckles against his lips and mumbles, "see Dens? He never shuts up." 

"S'good. Like it." Dennis protests, and both men laugh gently at him. 

"Let him in then puppy, if you like it so much, don't worry puppy I'll talk you through it. Let him show you how good it can be. Just follow his lead and go slowly puppy." Dennis parts his lips and Robby's tongue fills the space. He hums, and lets Jack tilt his head to the side a bit. "If you go like this- fuckin' floppy little ears killin' me pup- yeah like that. See how that gives him a little more room? Oh puppy what's that noise hmm?" 

 What noise? Oh- that's him! Making that strange little high pitched huffy whine. But doesn't Jack know that he can't help it? It's just so nice to kiss Robby. Like so nice even if he feels like he's not doing it super well, sloppy spit on his chin. 

When Robby pulls back Dennis whimpers, and Robby's eyes crinkle, thumb coming to swipe below his lip. 

"Want a hands on lesson from Jack Dens?" Robby asks. 

"Um, yes please! Yeah, Jack?" He whips his head around but Jack is right there, his nose tickling into the side of his face, and then he's being passed from one man to the other as Jack goes in this time. 

Their teeth clack again. 

Jack pulls back and frowns, "now what did I just teach you pup?" 

Robby tuts, "don't be mean Jack, it's puppy's first go at this. He might need to be told a few times." He leans down and nibbles at Dennis' earlobe, whispering, "gotta go slow buddy, come on, be good for Jack like you were good for me." 

Dennis tries, he really does, he wants to be good- especially for Jack. He gets the impression that anything he does is going to make Robby laugh or smile, but with Jack he thinks there will be certain times where he must earn the title of good. And that thrills him just as much as Robby's quick adoration. 

"Please Jack. I'll b' good." 

"Yeah you will. Just excited right puppy." 

He forces himself slow, but he's pretty sure all of his energy just goes into his rapidly wagging tail. He knows because Robby keeps playing with it, running from it's base to the tip as he kneels up and leans over to Jack. When Jack licks into his mouth he tastes coffee on his tongue. 

Dennis lets their tongues dance, lets Jack huff and laugh and play with him, lets him tilt his head this way and that, until Dennis gently bites back at his lower lip. That gets a reaction, a really good reaction, Jack's fingers tightening on his jaw and panting into his mouth like a dog. He does it again, just a little harder, and Jack groans into his mouth until Dennis is gasping. 

When he pulls back, spit sheens Jack's lips like gloss. 

"Oh he's sweet, isn't he Michael." Jack mumbles, thumbing Dennis bottom lip. 

"Very- pass him back Jack?" 

"If I must." He winks at Dennis, and Dennis nearly chokes. 

They keep at it for a while, lazily passing him back and forth between them until his lips tingle from the attention. Dennis feels, with a certainty he's never felt before in his life, that this is exactly where he was meant to be. 

See, Dennis Whitaker has always wanted, more than anything, to belong. 

On the plains of Nebraska, growing rows of corn brushing at his shoulders as evening breeze curled in his fur, Dennis had let the cooling orange light paint his face and he'd almost felt it. But as much as his ma pretended he was her Denny he wasn't. Dennis' brothers weren't his brothers. His pa wasn't his pa, he was a man who bought Dennis so young he has no memories of the before. He's not sure if that's a blessing or a curse. 

Oh I don't know Dennis. He would grumble, a rough pet to his ears when he'd ask where he came from. I didn't read the papers when I got you, chucked em' after, you know this boy, now did you clean the silage chopper? Good boy. 

And life was good. Dennis didn't go to school with his brothers, but that's okay because he had farm work. And he went to church and all, but he didn't think the pastor like him much. But none of that mattered when he could run through the fields and wrestle until his clothes were caked in mud and shake his head like a pup to make his brothers and his ma laugh when he got hosed down. 

But then life went on around Dennis. It seemed to happen to everyone else but him. He stayed in that corn field, with the same evening glow, and the same rolling clouds and endless sky, and the same breeze rustling the leaves around him. The only difference is that he grew taller too with the corn. 

So Elijah left for college, and Peter married Jessica and had a little boy first and then a girl soon after, and Isaac married too, Lydia, who struggled with her twins so much that his ma was over at their house most of the time. Elijah came home and had a joint marriage with Noah, both their wives city girls who turned their hand to farm life, chasing an ideal Dennis isn't sure exists. But, well, who is he to comment really? Peter and Isaac both adopted hybrids of their own too, encouraged by their ma. 

They make such good playmates for the children. 

Dennis had swallowed hard at that. He was only twenty two, but the cracks that had started developing with Elijah left were eroding into canons now. Dennis was not the same. He would never have a wife and kids. He never belonged on that path. He was the thing brought into that life as an accessory to it. 

And that was fine too! 

He belonged, or so he thought, on the farm with pa. He was good at what he did, and he enjoyed it- even if he missed being silly and playful. Pa had got so serious, the more the years rolled by. Dennis was hardly ever told he was good anymore. 

And Noah and Isaac went and bought the farm land next to their pa's and what seemed like a good idea at the time was followed by a spout of bad luck and bad weather and then both his pa's and his brothers land yielded much less than they needed. Dennis, then, was a burden. He was another mouth to feed- no matter how much he tried to help. His pa sold as much as he could, old equipment, furniture, clothes. 

So when, at the incredibly late age of 25 Dennis had fallen sick, confined to his room for a week of blood and sweat and tears, he'd emerged as a whimpering newly presented omega. Was it any surprise then, really, that his p- no- his owner, had sold him too?

Jack slides Dennis' t-shirt over his head and his nipples perk up at the change in temperature. He squeaks into Robby's mouth where he's re-attached himself as soon as possible after he was rudely pulled away. 

Fuck- Dennis hopes they want to keep him. He hopes so badly they want to keep him because if he feels this good already? If this is only the first day he hopes that this is good for them too. He desperately wants to be good. 

"Please- oh my- Jack- Jackkk." Dennis whines into Robby's mouth as Jack teases at his nipples. 

"What pup?" He sucks a mark into Dennis' shoulder. 

"T-touch me." 

"He is touching you puppy." Robby laughs. 

"He said- earlier he said-" He gets cut off with a gasp when Jack pinches a little harder. 

His cock hurts from how hard he is now and he's pretty sure he's leaking slick from his cunt all over their bed. Hopefully they'll be okay with that- Dennis wants it to smell like him, but he's always found people to be slightly more concerned with stuff like that than hybrids, and he's learnt when to keep his mouth shut. Like… sure he would let them cum into the fabric of the blanket on his dog bed but he guesses that would be weird or something… whatever. 

"What did he say? Was he mean? Hmm? Was Jack mean to the little puppy?" 

Jack scoffs-,"I wasn't mean-" 

"Shh, you wanted a pup who could talk let him talk Jack."

"He said that if I liked the kissing you would suck my cock." 

Jack barks out a laugh, pressing his face into the crook of Dennis' neck and giggling while Robby raises a perfectly immaculate eyebrow. "Did he now?" 

"You do love sucking cock brother."

Robby moves to slip his shorts down his legs and off the side of the bed, grumbling, "I thought the point of this was to have someone suck our cocks Jack." 

A chill runs up Dennis' spine. "Oh… oh I can do that! Sorry I didn't- 

"Shh pup, he's only kidding. Just teasing pup. He'll suck your cock." Jack pets at his ears and eases him to sit propped up slightly at the top of the bed. "See one, do one, teach one- right Mike? How's the pup gonna know what to do if he's never had one before." 

Jack settles beside him as Robby nods and presses a kiss to his forehead. 

"Look at him Michael, leaking into his little panties just from some kissin'." 

Dennis isn't sure how to explain the feeling that came over him when he first say Robby yesterday in the shop, except that it felt right. 

Lots of people, in all the shops he'd been passed around in, had been interested when they'd learnt he was a virgin. Some of them breeders, which made Dennis shudder. He'd have gone, of course, if one of them had paid his pa's ridiculous asking fee. But, rather petulantly, he didn't wanna. Some of them had turned away when they'd heard him speak, so he'd learnt not to before he was asked. Some of their hands in his ears made him cringe. Some of them looked at him in ways that made him want to curl up into a little ball. Some had curled away from him when he got overly excited or was too eager. 

Robby was different though. Robby was attractive and he wanted the man to come closer, to like him, to touch and pet him. Dennis could count on one hand the number of times he wanted that since leaving Nebraska. He liked the way Robby's smile lit up his face, and the way his eyes crinkled with warmth. And the way his hand felt so big against Dennis' head, and the way he talked- and and and- 

He liked too, that Robby liked him and his wiggle and excitement, even before he learnt what Dennis was. Like he liked Dennis not the list of things on the paper. 

Then when he'd stepped aside and Jack took his place, Dennis felt the swooping of his stomach all over again, and this time he felt it between his legs too. 

He feels it now, as Jack trails a hand down his stomach, but dialled up to one hundred. He wriggles and squirms. 

"How u feeling Dennis? Wanna pause or-" 

Dennis can't help the rumbly little growl that builds in his throat at the idea of stopping. Stopping? He can't stop now! Jack's hand is so close. 

"Oh boy, I'm gonna have so much fun with you kid." Jack laughs, toying with the waistband of his briefs. "I think he wants to carry on Mike." 

"If he does he can use his big boy words. First time and all." 

"Please!" He huffs, then remembers himself, forcing himself sweet. "Please Robby, I really wanna carry on please. You don't have to- can I just- I wanna do-" 

"Okay puppy, okay. We've got you don't worry." 

The briefs slip down his thighs, Robby taking one of his legs out before shoving between his legs and propping his heels up near his head. His white socked feet bounce over his shoulders. Robby leaves the briefs dangling off of one of his feet, and Jack groans at the sight, palming his cock through his plaid pyjama bottoms. 

Then, all logic leaves his brain because there's a hand on his cock pumping once, twice, and then warmth. 

Dennis screams, the sound caught in Jack's mouth as he takes it all and mixes it with his own moans, hand roaming Dennis' chest like he's on the prowl. 

"Oh that's good puppy! Does that feel good?" Jack mumbles against his lips, pulling back to look at Robby's mouth enveloping his cock. Dennis isn't small like some omegas, but he easily fits whole in Robby's mouth and the sensation makes tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

Dennis nods frantically, head slipping back and tongue involuntarily slipping out as he pants. Jack slides two fingers into his mouth and Dennis sucks, hollowing his cheeks to match Robby. 

"Such a good boy for us look at you, yeah puppy, yeah!" Jack coos like he would a real dog doing a trick for his owner, his own hand speeding up. 

It's hardly no time at all before Dennis feels himself clenching up, muscles tightening, he tries to tell Jack but the fingers are in his way!! So he can't warn Robby at all before he's coming straight into his mouth. He would apologise, but unfortunately Dennis feels every part of his mind transcend to a higher plane of existence where all he can feel is the curling of his toes and the panting whines from his own throat in his ears. 

It's the best feeling he's ever felt in his life. 

He feels himself being moved, but he's all soupy and blissed out, so he just lets it happen, boneless and overcome with happiness. He's placed on someone's chest, broad muscles and bare skin and warmth. And oh that's so nice. He likes that a lot. Dennis wants to live inside of that warmth, so he nuzzles his cheek into the chest and gets a pat to his head. 

"Hey puppy, little one. Kid are you back online yet?" Someone whispers into his ear, a hand running up and down his back soothingly. 

No, Dennis thinks, grinning at the idea of teasing but his brain to mouth connection isn't working. Stupid brain. He yips tiredly instead. All this orgasm stuff is hard work for a pup, don't they know! They can't expect him to make words yet!

"How you feeling? You up for Michael playing with your little pussy Dennis?" He bites at Dennis' earlobe. 

Dennis yips with a little more feeling and bites down playfully, growling playfully as he scrapes his teeth against the freckled skin under his tongue. 

With his assent, he's shifted down a little, Jack's cock- naked… when did he get naked? Did Dennis miss that? No! He wanted to see!!! He squirms to try and see but he's held down with a quick stay still Dens. Then a second later, Dennis, buddy, settle. He whines and is about to try and find words, because this isn't fair when a quick swipe through his pussy makes him freeze. 

"Oh I think the puppy liked that- do it again." The hand between his legs returns, and this time Dennis wriggles for an entirely different reason. "Yeah he really likes that. Like feeling Mikey play with your pussy Den? Want his fingers inside of you- do you? Hmm? Do you buddy?" 

Dennis whines, his tail wagging frantically before Robby gets a hand on it- pulls it upwards in a way that had Dennis arching his back and grinding his stomach into Jack's cock, and then there's a finger in his pussy!!!

Robby starts slow, which Dennis can't tell if he's happy for or if it's an act personally chosen to drive him insane. Either way, it feels so so good that he can't help rocking back on the hand and rubbing himself on Jack until a second finger is added. He babbles out a thank you, and then gets a third for his trouble. They curl up inside of him and Dennis pants and huffs into Jack. 

"Desperate little thing." Robby laughs, biting marks into his ass as he plays. "Want more Dens?" 

"P-please." He whines. 

He was expecting another finger, what he wasn't expecting is to feel the head of Robby's cock notch at the entrance of his cunt. And holy fuck this is so much better. 

"Just the tip pup, gotta see if you like it first." Jack says, but his voice is all curled around a smile, which- if Dennis has any brain left- would have made him nervous in the best way. He whines pitifully. He doesn't want that he wants it all! "Oi, hush with that pup, you'll take what we give you okay? We know what's best for you Den, gotta let us work your pussy up to it." 

Robby slowly pushes in, the stretch not too bad after his fingers and the way Dennis' pussy is dripping for them. It still feels, feels all full, in a way the fingers didn't. 

"More!" He demands instantly, but Robby moves back. 

Back???? That isn't what Dennis asked for! He paws clumsily behind him until Jack grabs his hand and brings it back to his chest. 

Robby slips the tip back in, then out again, then in- and Dennis knows- he just knows that its not enough!!

He whimpers, pitiful and turns his big wet eyes up at Jack. 

"Oh pup." He flicks Dennis' pouting lower lip. "What's up buttercup? Do you not like it? Mike I don't think he likes it." 

Dennis growls. No! He leans forward and nips at Jack's fingers, playfully until Jack doesn't do anything, and then a little harder. He feels Jack's cock twitch this time. 

"Dens honey do you want to stop?" Robby teases, slipping just a little more in. "It might be too much for his first time Jack, you know how sensitive little pups are. Maybe we should let him have a nap and-" 

Dennis has had enough with both of them. He growls again, spitting Jack's fingers out his mouth and shouting, "no!" before pushing back as hard as he can towards Robby. He gets maybe an inch more inside of him- success! But it's still not enough. 

Thankfully Robby relents with a okay puppy, we got you, relax, biggggg stretch puppy. And then Robby's whole cock slides into him, filling him in ways he didn't even realise he could be filled. He feels it in his throat. 

He was wrong, earlier, this- this- is the best feeling he's ever felt.

"Please please please-" he starts to babble, but it quickly gets turned into a concoction of huffs and whines and yips as Robby grips his hips and starts slowly thrusting, picking up in speed until he's jolting Dennis up against Jack with every snap of his hips. 

"Yeah- yeah that's- fuck pup- that's it." Jack reaches around and pulls at his tail and Dennis yelps, teeth digging into Jack's chest again. The hand moves to his hair. "Close pup, kiss me." 

When Jack cums he does so with a shout, biting at Dennis' lower lip, then his shoulder, and then his earlobe as he rides himself through it, using the momentum of Dennis' jolted body from the rhythm Robby sets. 

Meanwhile Dennis is letting out little 'uh-uh-uh' noises as Robby snaps his hips into him. It's heaven. He doesn't think it can get any better but then it does when he's suddenly pressed between the two bodies properly. When he looks up, it's to the sight of the two men kissing, tongues tangling as they pant and moan into each others mouths and fuck Dennis feels his pussy clench around Robby's cock and then he's cumming even harder than the first time. 

"Did he just- did he just cum because we kissed?" Jack's incredulous voice makes him shake, cheeks burning, but Robby just snaps his hips harder. 

"Fuck, fuck Jack he did. Good pup- good- fuck- good- I'm close." 

"Go on baby, fuck him like you want to. Go on. He wants it don't you Den? Wanna be filled up with Robby's cum so it leaks out of you? Drips out of your little broken in pussy?" 

Robby groans. "Your fucking mouth Jack. I love- I love you." And then he's holding Dennis hips steady for one last thrust. Buried flush to Dennis, he spills inside of him, the feeling of it settling so deep inside Dennis that he almost cums again, his pussy giving a weak fluttering attempt to milk Robby for all he's worth. 

Floatily, he feels himself moved sideways and enveloped between the two men, safe and warm and the most content he's ever been in his life. He hears, distant like a dream, sweet praises, a hand stroking his ears and one on his tail, repeats of good boy and good puppy. And with Robby's cock still notched deep in him, Dennis lets a rumbly contented half-purr and succumbs to sleep. 

~

When Dennis wakes, he's still on Jack's chest- thank god, but he's empty again. Empty too, feels his neck where he feels they really should collar him, especially after that. The absence is… well… rude. For them to show him this and then take it away and leave him empty. No he- he needs- ah! Jack has a cock he could-

He leans back and looks down and yes! Score! Jack's cock is right there and he's even bigger than Robby. Thick even when it's not hard and Dennis wants it in him. He nudges Jack's shoulder, not taking his eyes off of it. 

"Jack. Jack. Jackkkkkk wake up." 

Jack doesn't open his eyes but he grumbles a sleepy, "what pup?" 

"Can we go again? Please? Again please?" Dennis starts to vibrate as he comes around more, and Jack groans, throwing a hand over his face. 

"Oh fuck… have we created a monster?" 

[lestautism]

best thing a male character can do is be dog-coded. second best thing a male character can do is sob hysterically

[lestautism]

third best thing a male character can do is be a little gay about his best friend

[lestautism]

you get it❤️

[classic-cevans]

Camboy!Jack, who is using it to pay his way through medical school.

It wasn't his first choice, but his parents cut him off when he came out, and he refused to join the army like his Dad kept pressuring him, too.

He's good at it, though, and there's this one viewer who might be his favorite. He's the sweetest in the comments, tips the highest, and always pays for private chats even if Jack is too tired to do more than jerk off.

Robby is chief of emergency medicine at PTMC.

He works too much, has very little free time, and every relationship he's ever had ends before it even begins.

So, on nights when he can't sleep or is is wired tight — he goes online.

Live cams are new to him, a little odd but he enjoys the interaction.

Finding JockRabbit was just a stroke of luck (pun intended)

Does he feel pervy watching this kid who can't be any older than 21 making doe eyes at the camera with his dick in his hand? Kind of.

But those eyes? Curls? That mouth?

Robby's never come harder than when JockRabbit winks at camera and thanks him for the tip.

So twice a week, Robby settles into his favorite pastime. Watches JockRabbit get off for an hour, then pays for a private show until the boy is sleepy and saying good night.

Then cleans off and goes to sleep.

Its a steady routine.

A little fucked up

But a routine none the less

One morning, Dana wrangles him before he slips into a trauma to remind him of the new set of med students.

"They’re a little late today, but they'll be here soon."

"Great. Lemme know when they are." He gives her a thumbs up then dives right in.

He's elbows deep in a trauma, ordering the room at large what to do.

An eager shadow slides next to him, hovering as he explains how to intubate.

"Then pull." He leans back, letting the patient head drop, "Thats how you intubate."

"That was amazing."

Robby's heart stops. His blood runs cold.

Standing beside him in a pair of black scrubs, gloved hands clasped together, hazel eyes bright with wonder is the star of everyone of Robby's filthy fantasies.

"Uh-"

"Hi, Jack Abbot. MS-3. Nurse Evans sent me in here. I'm excited to be working with you, Dr. Robinavitch."

He's even more beautiful in person.

"Robby." He snaps.

Jack's eyes widen, "Uh-"

Robby clears his throat, "Sorry, Robby. You can call me Dr. Robby "

Jack's weary expression shifts into glee, he holds his gloved hand out and grins, "Pleasure to meet you Dr. Robby."

Oh he is so fucked.

@serinmatheson1

[jackabbotsdog]

Pet store adoption- (Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

When Robby peers into the bedroom, the sight nearly melts his fucking heart. 

Jack is properly out like a light, head tilted back- not to the side- so his breath catches in soft little snores. The huffs of air catching Dennis' fur on his ears and making it flutter a little. 

Dennis isn't asleep though, he's curled up around Jack but propped up on one elbow so he can peer at his sleeping face. Not that Robby blames him, he too has been enchanted one too many times by the softness that settles on the features of a sleeping Jack. 

He leans against the doorframe and watches as Dennis' ears perk up at a particularly loud snore, tilting his head to the side and then back as his ears flop. He grins into his hand as he ties not to laugh, letting it go on for a while before Dennis lift his hand and looks like he's gonna touch Jack's face. 

"Den," he whispers, low enough that Jack won't wake, and the boy freezes. 

Slowly, he turns to Robby with a sheepish grin. 

Robby nods his head up and back, and Dennis gently extricates himself from Jack, prying his sleeping hand away from his tail and padding over to Robby with a grin. 

He puts a hand on Dennis' shoulder and leads him safely down the hallway before he asks, "what were you doing, hmm?" 

Dennis yawns. "I woke up so was just watching him. He has freckles. I just wanted to touch one. Sorry." 

"It's okay Den. Maybe we let him sleep a bit now though yeah? Wanna come hang out with me downstairs?" 

"Yeah!" 

"Good boy, come on then puppy." 

Dennis flushes a wonderful pink and follows him without question downstairs. But when they get into the kitchen he starts to squirm, shifting on his little brand new socked feet. 

"What's up pup?" 

Dennis bites his lip, "do you wanna try it?" 

"Try what?" 

"The like, no-talking puppy stuff." 

See, Michael knows that Jack thinks his desire to adopt a hybrid comes from the dog he nearly adopted as a child before his bubbe found it a new home with people who were much more equip to care for it. It had broken his little heart. He'd cried about it for days. He'd told Jack this story what- years ago- when they were both still fresh faced and laughing over beers, pretending not to be wildly attracted to each other. Jack's clearly remembered it, and when he pitched Robby the idea of adopting a hybrid together he'd seen the story reflected back at him in Jack's eyes. 

Michael is happy to let him believe it. 

Really though its all about devotion and control. 

He loves Jack, more than anything, he'd be quite happy with Jack for the rest of their lives but … 

It's just that he feels like his life is slipping by faster and faster, and he sees people die every single day, people with hopes and dreams and loves and untouched potential. People who probably never got to experience things in their lives that they wanted to try. Were too ashamed to try. Didn't have time to try before- 

See, Michael has been thinking a lot about mortality since Adamson, in a way he knows scares Jack. 

It's just that he doesn't want to die having never… it sounds stupid, even when he says it to himself. Having never fulfilled his fantasy of fucking a sweet omega hybrid? Fuck off Robinavitch. This is why, despite all Jack does to encourage him, he can't talk to Jack about this. Why he kept it not so successfully hidden from him for so long. 

Worse, too, Michael thinks, because it's not even entirely sexual. 

Devotion. Jack won't let him dote on him or baby him or coo and praise him. He'll try to an extent but that just isn't him, and Michael doesn't want to show his love to Jack that way. Not when he has a million better ways to show it that Jack is on board with. And Jack is devoted to him, too, but on a deeper level and sometimes… sometimes Michael lays in bed at night and thinks about what it would be like to have that in its base form. 

The way a dog loves it's master. The way a hybrid might love him. The raw simplicity of it. 

Devotion and- 

This is why he can't just get a dog. Because it's also about control. And the control is sexual. 

Michael is not unaware of his desire to take charge and lead. Would have been a piss poor career choice to go for the big job if he didn't. He, too, knows this desire has a tendency to leak like a dripping faucet into other aspects of his life. 

In a way that sometimes makes him feel a little sick to his stomach, the way he wants to have a someone eat from the palm of his hand and squirm on his lap and tease them until they blink into subspace, all whiney and perfect and waiting with baited breath for his command. Jack bottoms, gets all bratty and desperate, but he never- he never just-

Michael loves the sex they have, the push and pull and the equality of it all. He'd be quite happy with Jack for the rest of his life. He would. 

But as always Jack sees him, even when he doesn't want to be seen. 

"Oh- " Robby stammers, cock twitching. "I think we should probably wait for Jack before we do anything um-" 

Dennis flushes beet red and squirms. "Not that! Unless that's- I just meant- I guess I thought when it's gonna just be us that I would act like your puppy all the time even when were not doing sex stuff. Or?" 

"I mean-" Robby rubs the back of his neck. "That is what I was thinking yeah." 

Dennis nods, "Cool, yeah." 

"Do you want to try it?" 

He narrows his eyes as the kid avoids looking at him.

"I just…" 

"You can tell me puppy, it's okay." 

"I just don't want to mess up? Like maybe we do a trial run where- where I can still ask questions and you can tell me if you want something different. I want to be good." 

Robby frowns, "puppy you are go-" 

"I'm not though. I know I'm not. I was- sometimes I wish I was one of the hybrids who couldn't talk and then I wouldn't be so much trouble and everything would be simpler. I got in trouble a lot growing up Robby, I know I'm not good." 

As he speaks, Dennis' ears slowly fold back against his head, and Robby's heart breaks for him. Maybe this is what Jack meant when he said he wanted a rescue. Maybe he knew that Robby's bleeding heart would have no defence against this. 

"Okay pup, come on, lets go sit on the couch and have a little chat." 

Dennis' ears flatten fully, and he follows Robby to the couch like he's walking to his own grave. 

He sits the pup over his lap so his lets stretch across the cushions and runs a soothing hand through his hair and ears until the kid calms down a little. 

"Dens, listen to me okay? This is all super fun and exciting right? But it's also new for all of us. Theres going to be stuff we don't get right, or we try and don't like, and all three of us can change our minds at any time yeah? That doesn't make us bad. Me and Jack, well we'd prefer if you didn't throw our things about, break our plates and glasses, chew on our furniture or pee on our clothes-" 

Dennis takes the bait. "I would never do that." 

"I know Dens, because you're such a good boy right?" He ruffles Dennis' hair. "Heres what I'm thinking, which mind you puppy, might change when we start doing this because I've never lived with a hybrid before either- what I'm thinking is that it would be really nice to come home to you baby, to give you a little cuddle and maybe play a little, actually play, make some dinner and we both eat- maybe I can feed you little bits and you can sit by me and take it from my fingers, cuddle up with me while we watch TV or I do admin work on my laptop, if you need anything you can paw at me or whine or bark and maybe it could be a fun little game for us both to figure out what you need? I want to give you what you need Dens. We can talk about the sexual stuff later with Jack but… none of that means you can't speak if you want to, or need to. I'm not- this isn't- I don't want that. I want you to want to be like that with me, it won't work if you don't and that's okay too. Is that something you… want?" 

Dennis chews on his bottom lip. "Yeah, I really… I really want to try that. That sounds like… really good to me Robby." 

"Yeah puppy?" 

"Yeah. I was- I meant what I said before, I really like just being more like a proper hybrid? It's nice not to think simple sometimes." 

Like a dumb little pup. He thinks, but doesn't say yet. 

"Still wanna try it out? A little hybrid-" He waggles his eyebrows and Dennis puffs out a laugh, "-approach? How about until Jack wakes up, we give it a go and if you have any questions just speak up pup, and if either of us don't like anything we just say. A little trial run?" 

"Could we-" Dennis stops again, and Robby waits patiently until he finds his words. "-maybe we could like. You've just adopted me right? We could play like you're- like I am one of the hybrids without speech capacity? For a little bit." 

~

"Now puppy-"

Dennis is knelt in his kitchen, sat back on his heels and blinking up at Robby with the most adoring face he's ever seen, ears fully pricked up and waiting. 

"- you've been a very good boy so far. I know you're desperate to explore, but if you keep being such a good boy for me I promise I'll give you a treat, would you like that hmm? Would you like that Dens?" 

Dennis whines, following it up with a little excited yip as his tail swishes so hard it wiggles his body, just like at the store. 

Robby feels like he's gonna fucking pass out. He feels like he's on the precipice of getting everything he's ever fucking wanted and he's not sure what he's done to deserve it. Like on his birthday, when his bubbe would hand him his carefully wrapped present and for a second before he unwrapped it, it could be any of the things he'd been too shy to hint at, because he wouldn't want to be trouble. 

"Good boy. Here, you can have one now for sitting so good." The wiggles increase, and Dennis opens his mouth and carefully slips out his tongue. 

His cock twitches as he places the gummy bear into Dennis' mouth, waiting until he closes and sucks at his fingers a little before pulling back. Dennis hums happily. 

"That nice?" He ruffles Dennis' ears. "Come on let me show you the living room." 

Because he hasn't got his collar on yet- Michael thought best to wait for Jack- he slows his walk and drops his hand to play with Dennis' hair as he crawls besides him. When they make it through, Dennis looks to the dog bed, back to Robby, then back the bed and lets out these puffy excited whining noises. 

"Now what's all that about pup? Hmm? So dramatic. Go on then, go try your new bed." 

Dennis yips and tumbles into it, rolling around and stretching and rubbing his face all over it. Scent is important for omega hybrids, Robby has read, especially dog-hybrids. So he comes over and plays with his boy, ruffling his ears and roughhousing him a little until he hopes both of their scents are on the fabric. Right up until Dennis gets real squirmy, rubbing his legs together and-

Ohhhh. 

Robby narrows his eyes. 

"Puppy are you getting excited?" 

Dennis whines pitifully, looking up at Robby with big pitiful eyes. 

"No puppy, we can't-" He's interrupted by a louder whine and the spreading of legs. "Dens, no. We have to wait for Jack." 

Dennis pouts, looking ridiculously human when he does, and Robby is helpless to the laugh that bubbles out of him. 

"Come sit between my legs like a good pup and you can have a treat." 

Dennis contemplates this, but ultimately gives in and nods. Lovely. 

"Okay pup stay- that's right, good boy, stay there-" he makes his way to the sofa and sits. "Okayyy- come! Come boy!" 

And like a dream Dennis does, scrambling to him and nudging apart his legs to be able to sit on the floor between them, balancing his head on Robby's knee and peering up at him while his tail hits Robby's shin with each wag. He parts his little mouth, and FUCK does Robby wish the treat he could give him is his cock. Instead, he slips in another gummybear- green this time. 

"A little treat for a good little boy. Now, see this?" He points to the couch. "You're only allowed up here when we- me or Jack- say okay puppy?" 

Dennis pauses, blinking a little as he comes to. With two fingers he taps on Robby's knee and gently says his name. When Robby gives him the obvious all clear, he asks, "is that all the time? Or just when I'm like this?" 

"Oh- oh just when you're like this. It's- we don't have to-"

"No I think its fun, I was just wonderin' is all." 

"Okay then, sure, just when you're like this. I doubt Jack will do the same when its just you to though." 

Dennis nods, and then gives a little huff of a bark, butting his head against Robby's knee. 

"Okay, because it's new you can come up puppy, come on up you get, that's it, want to cuddle on my lap? Up puppy! Oh that's a god boy here have another treat." 

Dennis hums happily around Robby's fingers, his tongue- slightly rougher than a humans- wiggles between Robby's fingers. 

"Aren't you just the sweetest thing." He coos, pressing a kiss to Dennis' forehead and letting Dennis' suck on his fingers. 

~

"Well, isn't this a lovely sight?" Jack mumbles from the doorway, his sleep soft eyes crinking when he yawns, ending it in a smile. 

"Jack!" Dennis yips, completely forgetting, it seems, his promise to be quiet and trying to wiggle out of Robby's hold. He lets him, watching with delight as he bounds over to Jack and nearly knocks him sideways with the force at which he goes in for a hug. 

Jack lets out a big old man huff. 

"Woke up to see you'd snook out on me." He mumbles as he presses a kiss into the kids curls. 

"Robby came and got me." Dennis says, snitch.

"Did he now?" He looks up at Jack, but Jack's eyes are filled to be brim with fondness. "Hope you didn't get up to too much fun without me?"" 

"Well," he drawls, watching Dennis tense up in Jack's arms. "He did get extra squirmy playing about in his little bed, but he was a good boy and waited for you." 

"Oh really? Well I think we should reward such good behaviour don't you Robby?

He laughs, "oh yeah, start that positive reinforcement early!" 

[blueangelbby]

Hi Blue! I hope you’re doing well! I hope some pup!dennis and maybe some fauxcest can help!

pup!dennis where he is daddy and dads/sirs (whichever one for Jack, he switches) good boy and Jack and Robby having “dog dad” keychains and mugs and Dennis is just running around mortified most of the time when he hears their keychains clink (especially if he has a collar that locks and they each have a key on their keychains for his collar that they keep at all times) because it’s a constant reminder that he’s just their good puppy, but he does not need his coworkers catching on and all their coworkers confused because when the hell did the attending a get a dog and why is Dennis constantly red, but Robby and Jack love to tease him for his reactions to hearing the keychain because Jack will do shake his keys when he is saying bye to Robby and Dennis after handoff and then Robby shakes his keys at him when it’s time to leave at the end of the shift…. They do it just to watch the boy turn beet red and gets a glazed over look in his eyes… and they know they’ll have the best boy on their hands when they all get home tonight

I hope this makes sense!

Thank you - 🪿

SHAKING THE KEYS IS CRAZYYYYYY

I do think Jack is more brazen with it (he drives a Santa Fe I dont CAREEEEE) and talks openly about how messy his dog is, "I need more stimulating activities, he's always so excited and can't ever calm down" and makes Dennis squirm as he answers questions that coworkers ask him.

Robbby is...Robby is quietly alarming with it. Blink and you miss it type of teasing. Someone asks him if he's got any plans this weekend and he doesn't even bat an eye responding, "No, bad weather on the forecast. My pup doesn't like storms so we'll be at home." and Dennis kinda falters because a few people know he has aversions to storms, but not many. Or someone is asking about how the puppy phase is going bc they're thinking about getting a dog (Langdon is screaming don't do it in the background) and Robby says "Oh, I got lucky. My boy's never causing too much trouble. I could go without him licking me as much as he does"

(or alternatively "I could go without him peeing every time he gets so excited but you can't really blame the sweet thing")

No because puppy Dennis getting so excited when he hears their keys turning in the lock when he's been home alone. Those keys mean his daddy and dad are home and they're going to tell him that he's such a good boy and give him kisses and belly rubs and if he's exceptionally good he might even get something in his puppy parts.

So he just learns to associate those keys with meaning he's about to get showered in praise and affection and attention. That he's about to be reminded of whose good boy he is.

But on the flip side...oof bratty Dennis who has been having a very off day, hasn't been taking any breaks or checking in with his doms, purposefully having a little more bite behind his words. After a particularly nasty encounter or show of attitude, he's alone and trying to get some charting done. He hears those keys moving and glances over to see Robby or Jack casually tossing them up and down in the air, eyes on him, smiling at him with a little more intensity, something borderline scary, and it sends a shiver down his spine. Because he knows he's been caught and crossed a line and now he's going to be put right back into his place of being their perfect boy.

And because right next to the keychain and his collar key is the key for his cock cage and he knows he's about to have a very unpleasant night.

[blueangelbby]

aaaaok this has likelihood of being ooc so anything can be changed or shifted if you choose to respond!! I literally binged all your huckleabbot stuff today and it was so good i finally got the motivation to start the show so I haven’t observed them in the natural habitat yet

but i’ve thought all day about jack who likes control through conditioning so when they’ve agreed to the dynamic he starts slow and softer with helping dennis eat more, because he is absolutely a regular two-meal-skipper. bringing back snacks after his shift like a yogurt and a cup of fruit (that he might say were from the break room if pressed but these have never been offered to employees so is someone getting their yogurt stolen??) and placing them at the front of the fridge with dennis’ name scrawled on them. placing a granola bar in front of him with little to no mention of it, the mini boxes of cereal found tucked away with dennis’ actual groceries, a bowl of healthy-ish snacks randomly appears on abbot’s counter.

and dennis is maybe somewhat a doormat but he’s tried soft bratting against it. he’s simply not eaten it and gotten it handed to him the next day all the same, he’s started to rebuke but just been cut off with another verbal prod towards it before , and he knows how to get a confrontation started so one day he says “I know you’re trying to make me eat more.” and jack raises an eyebrow, probably gives the “are you dumb” look that absolutely smashes dennis’ focus as he simply replies “then why aren’t you?”

also yogurt was an example but i have now thought of jack helping by scooping yogurt onto his fingers and feeding it to dennis so i will be slinking away to my lair. and if you hear typing and giggling and twirling hair no you didn’t

the show is not. like it's not as gay as i make it out to be. sexually charged, yes, but the rest of it is me playing barbies

Jack is sooooo good at just calling Dennis out on his bullshit. He doesn't give him time to talk around it or make up excuses. He just calls Dennis out for doing the exact things he's not supposed to be doing.

"You're tired because you're spending your days off out on that farm instead of actually resting."

"You won't tell people no because you don't think you're allowed to, so I'm telling you no and you can blame me."

Which means most of the time, Jack and Dennis don't have to have those long conversations about Things that he needs to work on. Jack's new hobby is Dennis and Dennis's new hobby is taking care of himself.

Food is always going to be hard with Dennis. Food insecurity, food waste, that struggle of never learning what he actually enjoys fueling his body with. Food for him is a luxury at times, something that he doesn't indulge in because money can always be spent in better ways. Smarter ways.

Jack takes away the thinking aspect of it. He sees that hole in Dennis's behavioral patterns and figures out how to address it without making it a Thing. He prefers not to make things a Thing if he doesn't have to.

But this? This is a Thing.

"Then why aren't you?"

And Dennis is sputtering and trying to find the words to get Jack to back off, to throw him off of his current attack. But Jack just looks down at him with one of these slutty things -

and waits, patiently, for Dennis to say something. Anything. Get one word out, kid, come on.

"If you know what you're supposed to be doing, why are you not doing it? If you want to be over my knee so bad, kiddo, you can just ask me." You know I always give you what you want."

"That's not-" Dennis tries to protest but it's really no use. His voice is too high pitched to hide the lie. And Jack is next to impossible to lie to anyway.

"It's not? Not even a little?"

"No."

Jack picks up whatever snack he had just placed in front of Dennis and holds it out in front of his mouth with a smug expression.

"No? Okay. How about this? You eat and then I'll give you a reward. And we can both pretend you're really upset about it later. How does that sound?"

Dennis always does better under positive reinforcement. Even if the reinforcement is exactly what he'd been getting as a punishment.

[autie-j]

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

[larken-the-skies]

It’s like they expect us to just forget their original marketing schemes in favor of more and more money grabs.

[voidcreations]

Look at my birthday cake...

[puppiegracie]

robby who's been sitting in a shitty motel room for hours, legs bouncing and stilling, bouncing and stilling, sitting on the edge of the queen bed with an ugly comforter. robby who's been fidgeting with a bottle of pills for the past hour, knowing it's enough, it would be enough. the air conditioner hums, white noise in the otherwise silent room.

robby who knows no one is coming to save him. no one is coming to take the pills from his hands or coddle him or kiss it better, and it's been decades since he's deserved anything like that. robby who knows he's alone, and feels it in every inch of his body, in his marrow, rotting his bones from the inside out. robby who doesn't want to die. he just wants his mom.

rotating the bottle in his hands, over and over, toying with it, with his life. willing his phone to ring, but it never does. jack texts him, sometimes, dennis, even rarer. call me if it gets dark. puts all the pressure on him, huh? to reach out? to lift his phone that feels heavier than it should, limbs frail, hands shaking? to find the contact and press call, knowing that in the seconds it'll take him to do so, he'll succumb to cowardice and not call at all?

it's the closest he's come to resenting jack, truly, wholly resenting him. because fuck him for that, fuck him for not calling. fuck him for offering instead of forcing. fuck him for letting him leave that goddamn hospital. fuck him for ever wrapping robby in a hug if he was just going to let go.

robby crumples in on himself, and he wants his mom, and he always wants his mom, because fuck his dad. he doesn't care if his dad wants him or not. he wants his mom to want him, to want him again. the fuzzy edges of her wanted him, once. she used to pet the back of his head after he had a nightmare, slow and steady, soothing him. his own hand raises to mirror it now, petting the back of his head, sniffling something wet and embarrasing, whimpering like a wounded animal. he wants his mom.

and it's a humiliation ritual, to struggle this hard, to be fucking bad at killing himself. it makes sense, really. he's failed at so many things, so many times, it's in his nature. his legs bounce again, his free hand clutching the bottle of pills, willing himself to just fucking do it.

robby doesn't want to die. call me if it gets dark.

and he fucking hates him for it, hates him for it, and he's dropping the pills and rummaging for his phone, breathing shaky with tears burning in his eyes as he stabs the contact, stabs the call. jack doesn't get a word out.

please just tell me not to do it. tell me you don't want me to do it. tell me you couldn't handle it if I did it. tell me you can't fucking live without me, jack. tell me you couldn't survive a goddamn day without me here. even if you're fucking lying. even if you're lying to me. please. jack, please. tell me not to do it.

[blueangelbby]

*slaps the back of Dennis Whitaker’s head* this bitch is so easy to torture psychologically AND sexually

[asneakyfox]

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[asneakyfox]

btw this is maybe the single most key distinguishing feature of the terfy strains of radical feminism, the seed all the rest of it springs out of: they have absolutely no faith in the ability of feminism to actually destroy patriarchy. they do not think feminism can truly build a better world. they cannot really even imagine that possibility. they think patriarchy is an inevitable natural consequence of unchangeable biological facts, and therefore the goal of feminism can only be to mitigate the worst effects of patriarchy, not to get rid of it.

they can imagine a society where women get some designated safe spaces without men around. they cannot imagine a society where the presence of men is not inherently a danger to women.

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[sergeifyodorov]

I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide

[demotu-writes]

ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.

[shuttershocky-deactivated202512]

Western passport holders will never understand. To go anywhere with a third worlder passport like a Filipino one, you need your tax returns, certificate of employment, bank statements, marriage certificates, sometimes a recommendation from a citizen of the country you want to travel to, everything possible to prove that you have a job and a family at home and you're not planning to be an illegal immigrant, JUST to get hit with a rejection because the embassy didn't believe you had enough proof.

Did you have travel plans? Already booked the plane tickets and hotels? Fuck you, better hope they issue refunds (they don't).

[bloodmech]

Americans and Western Europeans will never understand how insanely hard and bothersome it's to travel anywhere with a weak passport, let alone immigrate.

You want to study abroad? Show us proof that there is a quadrillion dollars in your bank account. Oh, an average monthly salary in your country is $400 and you plan to work when you arrive? You can't do that, silly, a student visa only allows you to work 2 hours every third Wednesday, and if we find out that you're working a second more we will deport you.

You want to work abroad? Better be a programmer, then of course you are welcome. Doctor, scientist, white-collar or, god forbid, blue-collar worker? You can fuck right off, your visa application goes straght into trash.

But if you marry one of our first-world citizens, then fine, you can come. Because we can't upset them, after all, they are a real person, unlike you.

[xantissa]

EU Advice to people who have friends in places with weak passports- go to your department of foreigners and ask for something that called Formal Letter of Invitation or something similar. It usually is called something similar and costs a few euro/whatever currency you have. It will not be more than a fancy coffee at Starbucks or such place.

You will have to prove that you can afford a guest, have some income and also usually take responsibility for possible deportation cost.

But if you really are inviting a friend over, they will give you a formal document you can send to your friend. Then the friend applies for a visa while attaching the Very Official document with it. They will get the Schengen visa and most probably will get it expedited too.

It's some effort, but if it's for a friend it's worth it. And it's way less costly than the ridiculous loops the friend is being forced to go through and pay for multiple 3rd party services just to get a freaking visa for a month.