ρяσтє¢т тнє ρяιη¢єѕѕ —(αutσplαч)

❝ι'll alwayѕ вe тнe one тнaт rυnѕ υp тo proтecт yoυ.❞ —яιℓєу BG arт вy мe. 🍄ιndependenт aѕĸ&roleplay вlog ғor мy мarιo oc

[atreyu-tari]

I found this on Facebook today. I can’t stop laughing.

[mattonious]

realestmatt

[fauniisms-deactivated20150519]

"I’ll have you know my good mama smells like lavender roses! It’s her favorite perfume after all. Ain’t no fungi gonna insult my mother and get away with that. What you just did was loathsome.” 

The large and imposing robotic king stormed his way towards the other, red eyes glaring down at her.

"It is so on, gal.” 

[female-toadguard]

"....Mamas boy."

Cold blue eyes narrowed back into his red ones, not caring   if he was larger,casting his shadow over her.   Toned arms crossed over her chest

"Your mama ever taught ya not to stare?- I see she hasn't."

[fauniisms-deactivated20150519]

female-toadguard

“Excuse me? What did ya just say about my mama? Little lady, you’re just asking for a smackdown. You take back them words or else…”

[female-toadguard]

"I said she smells like burnt oil- gonna need febreze to eliminate     that stench...But hey you started it first...-You'd have to wait for hell to   freeze over before I take that back..   So let the smackdown begin bruh."

[female-toadguard]

[Another Riley pic..After like 10,000 years. Aw ye.]

[asktheflipchamps]

"We’re ready to answer your questions!"

[ryangilleece]

Listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street. Open up your eyes, open up your ears.

[x---theroyalnonsense---x]

i hate when you accidently unfollow someone on the little mobile shit and then look fake af refollowing

[inboxmemethings-deactivated2015]

Send me a ⌘ to hear what my muse's last words to yours would be.

[markiplier-reaction-posts]

Trying to talk in a group conversation like:

[toejamjammin-blog]

          “Hey humans, I got a question for you:  Is it true that you all           can’t breathe in space?  I mean, it must make travellin’ to           other planets hard, yo.”

[female-toadguard]

"Nope, because there's no oxygen up there for us to breath. I'll say its not fair because you can breath in space and on earth. Lucky bastard.

[female-toadguard]

"Fuck it all!"

[ducktectiveus]

"Aw, now c’mon. You’re no fun when you’re angry and not taking action. You do look pretty cute though, I’ll give ya that. Is that your natural hair color?” Duckman observed, only to change the subject. He was tempted to say something else perverted but decided against it because he honestly didn’t know this chick and her threat could have very easily turned into a verbal assault. 

[female-toadguard]

——🍄

"....Right....Thanks...I suppose." Riley rubbed her gloved hand on the back of her head, casually accepting his compliment. Hearing his question, she just arched up an eyebrow before glancing at her braid which hanged over her shoulder. "...Yes... This is my natural hair color...No hair dye or nothing...." 

It was smart that the subject was swiftly changed..Any more of those perverted comments would've sent that duck to his grave. "....What about you? Is that your natural hair color or are you using hair dye?....I'm assuming it is natural."

[bandfullofmuses]

Put one of these in my ask box! (Kidnapped!)

"Where do you think you’re going?"

You’re not going anywhere.”

"You belong to me now."

"There, nice and tight."

"Shh, there’s no need to scream."

"There, that should keep you quiet."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Let me go!"

"Release me!"

"Help me!"

"Untie me!"

"Mmmph!"

"How are we suppse to get out of this?"

"Someone will come for me!"

[ducktectiveus]

Duckman began to crack up, only stopping to address her words. It was true he just didn’t know when to stop.

"You and me both! Usually I’m not into that bondage stuff but I’ll take what I can get." He told her with a wink, nevermind the fact that she was being serious. 

[female-toadguard]

——🍄

"WHAT IN THE WORLD-?!"

The wink made her body shudder in disgust along with anger mixing in on her emotions. The laughing he did previously just wasn't helping out her irate state.

"Urgh! You're ridiculous! Stop taking my words out of context before I beat the life out of you! I'm SERIOUS!"

[game-dev-grunty-deactivated2015]

A night at the bar (Closed starter for femaletoadguard.)

[female-toadguard]

game-dev-grunty:

The Witch was well aware of other worlds, it kind of came with being in the series she was in but unlike the Bear and Bird she didn’t take every opportunity to brake the fourth wall. That being said, tonight was a special exception, she had just triumphed over the duo and wanted to celebrate.   The buxom beauty applied her eyeshade, did up her hair and wore her, somehow improved, dress.  it was time for a night out away from everyone, likely her spellbook had just the thing the beauty needed. After a quick spell, Gruntilda opened up a portal and hopped into another realm…..and quickly found the nearest bar. After a few shots of what the mushroom kingdom denizens called “Daisy dukes.” Gruntilda decided she need to share this night with someone, so she turned around to the door and pointed at the person entering. "You there, you there by the door. Come have a drink with me, Don’t be a bore." Gruntilda called.

——🍄

The Guard of the Mushroom Kingdom wasn't feeling much on heading to bed tonight and spending her time at home just wasn't feeling exciting to her as of now. Candace was asleep and Riley didn't want to wake her up to ruin her sleep so she decided to head out to the 'Daisy dukes' bar. Some entertainment there should  release her out of the bored state she's in

Upon reaching the bar and entering in, the Guard's blue eyes scanned around the area of people before they locked on a woman whom called her out, an index finger pointed at the Mushroom Kingdom Protector. Riley looked around assuming the woman was talking to someone else but she didn't see anyone else around her.

"-Well, Alright then."

With shrug the Guard strolled casually over to the woman sitting right next to her in the empty bar stool. Her smooth elbow rested on the counter surface as she laid her cheek in her gloved hand, the bartender coming to take her order.

"...Yeah, uh, give me the 'Poison Mushroom Pressco' on the rocks."

The Guard told the waiter, now sitting there in silence for a moment before glancing at the woman to start up some small conversation.

"...So, whats your name Lady? Never seen ya around these parts before."

[heroicyoshi]

[O] "Whatt? Wat? What was that about mah hips? Nope, didn’t hear ya!" He chuckles

[female-toadguard]

——🍄

"Ohohoho I see what you're trying to do!    You want me to say it out loud." 

The guard chuckles   to herself, petting the yoshi    upon his head.

[gunnabebig-blog]

Guy’s pupils increased in size upon being poked by the living, breathing, force. he didn’t know what a ‘mushroom kingdom’ even was but he had to get outta here! what would Patti say? his editor Sally when he never came back to work on the paper? Mr. Bluff? ooooh boy; he was too popular to leave Bluffington!

"look well! I gotta get outta this place and fast! do you happen to knoooow who I ammmm?”

[female-toadguard]

——🍄

Witnessing his pupils increasing,—    she figured he'd now realize   she wasn't imaginary. From the   looks of it, he seemed  panicked and determined to leave this   place at once. Yup, this answered  her question that he was sucked   down here by accident.

"Erm....You're a confused boy   that has stressy dreams..."

She replied back sarcastically   before continuing.

"...Just kiddin' but  no. I have no idea who you are...   I'm guessin' you're a famous person    in your world? I dunno."