Sometimes when I look at the sky I wonder, where Iâve lost my wings? The flying creatures seems to have an easier life. Nothing is holding them down. Birds are migrating the whole time, depending on seasons mostly, their attachment to places are constricting to the temperature preferences, incoming birth time,etc.
Iâm just like a bird. Nothing is holding me in one place. Iâm just going forward, with the speed of sound, sliding just above the ground. Itâs nothing strange or unordinary in my activity - the prehistoric human had been migrating and changing itâs living places because of many needs - exploring the world, to satisfy their hunger of knowledge. It also run away form cataclysms, such as storms, vulcanos, blizards, floods and others, it had been searching for a place where it could find a calamity, the food, the proper place to live. Modern human got used to stay in one place. Itâs not searching for other place, there is no need, thatâs true. And thatâs what makes me really upset.
Iâm just going forward, trying to not look at things and people behind me. Friends? I never have had one. A home? There is one probably somewhere, but where? The world is my home. Not any particular place.
Sometimes I dream weird things. And then I drive across the world trying to find the answers. Many of those dreams I donât really understand. Iâm soaking in a huge pool of some kind of red slime, itâs sticky and slowly whelming me. Iâm throwing my arms above my head, trying to scream - but I canât make a single sound. There is a mirror above me, but despite that the image is very gloomy, I know that itâs not my face, itâs not my refflection. The hands that are coming out of that bloody pool and reaching for me, seems to be familiar butâŠ.
I surface from the dream choaking with invisible slime, there are still the rests of the dream around me. The throat is slightly clenched, I can hardly breath.
There arenât many things Iâm scared of but the dreams are one of the top ones.
Sometimes I donât sleep. Itâs sometimes much more expedient.
"Are you leaving?" The blonde one day heard a voice behind her. When she turned around she saw a face of mother - calm but a bit worried. This face has got slightly old through the past few months. It seems that itâs true that the stress can cause such a huge change in someone apperance. The time has finally catched her mother just when the bucolic tale and travells have ended. It looked like the old age has been waiting the whole time till her family landed in one place at last.
Erwin noded and smiled brightly. She got a feeling that the old woman will try to stop her only one daughter. But she didnât. She let her go.
Her parents were travelling across the world for years, they havenât stopped even when Erwin was born.
So if she was born during the flight, why should she stop flying? If they could, they would travell together till these days, but sadly the bad luck was their companion right then. She could stay with parents but why would she? It wasnât her home.
Stationing in one place for a year was too long. She got the degree, so it was the proper time to leave. To explore.
To finish what her father has started.
Click, click, click. Internet connection? Low, but acceptable.
Today wasnât her best day. Pretty short sleep at the railway station at the middle of nowhere caused her a terribly pain in the back. She was glad that there wasnât any of these ârandom encounterâ thing and the night ended up only being scared about own life. Erwin breathed a sigh of relief when the point of interest showed up on the horizon. It was a small and well damaged bus stop she was looking for till she got to the town she left behind her already, standing alone in front of looking alike gas station. Reaching this place was everything than easy and the fact that there was no shedule at the place havenât help at all. Thank for the internet, right?
The next few hours she will be going to spend in a bus, sleeping and delecting soft chairs. Luxury, if regarding the way sheâs living lately. But not for too long, there was a hope it will change soon.
The strange feeling of being watched took her from checking the trail of the âjourneyâ. Erwin lifted the head and looked around. Her attention was caughted by the silhuette on a gas station - it was a girl, seemed to be pretty young, lurking on her form behind the car. The blonde was used to strange looks people gave her, but this one was different. The shiver went through her pained back.
Many people gave an attention on her apperance - rare hight for a girl, the body build and the clothes provides a lot of âaudianceâ. Many of them asked her if she was homeless, what was half true and false.
However, that persistent look was about something else. Erwin could feel how it send the whole aversion of the owner into her direction. What does that girl want? The blonde crincled the brows, trying to give the other the âmessageâ. There was a small success when the girl from the station turned her head, even though there was no mental skills in that.
The sound of incomig bus took her attention. She smiled with relief, it was perfectly in time! When Erwin took the place and flow in a soft chair she was happy. A quick look over the gas station, but the girl wasnât there. Wish you a good travell, buddy!
The views passing by her eyes got her asleep, she was almost in a dream when she heard a sound in the pocked. The hand reached and found a phone, and one pending message.
Open.
A quiet laugh went from her throat when she saw a picture of her father sitting in front of few sticks impacted into the ground. A few letters composed into words, send in hurry to wait for approve of the daughter - âWeâve planted a tree!â.
Good job, guysâŠThey got the kid, house and the tree. Seems like happy family. She smiled when she remembered parents seeing her of; they werenât sad, apparently, they looked kind of happy. Was it because she is continuing their tradition? Or maybe they got a hope again? Erwin wasnât into sad goodbyes so it was ok for her. No tears, no problems, no second thoughts.
ââ
The best part of travelling is getting into places, not really depending on human will. Sometimes, the strange plot of events can get us there, where was a âmarkâ on our map of life. One random encounter that can change everything. It was what she thought when she stepped into a bar that day, after missing the only train. Going by foot on the road, trying to catch a ride, it leaded her after few miles here. Fucking luck there was something on that damned road, she could barely feel her feet and last thing she wished for was to walk a mile more.
Red and white chacked tables, some old music in the background, condition of the building almost under acceptance, but it wasnât that bad though. It really didnât matter for her at all, as long as the chief wasnât a crazed chicken-zombie.
As she walked in she got a strange feeling that something is in the air, and it wasnât a smell of burned fries. Erwin looked around, not many customers. A few sits here and there, and⊠her sight stopped as she spotted the black haired girl looking her way. It was familiar look. Strange feeling ranged in her brain, the body started to be ridiculously heavy.
Not thinking much Erwin made a few steps towards the table.
Dirty boots, sand in pockets of trousers, a smell of sunbathing oil. The loud announcements about the delays, mumbling and hubbub around. She will remember that eyes forever, they were intriguing, yet sad. There was an ice inside, pure grey circles that looks like a stone. Like a solid wall. Perfectly pale skin glossed in a sunlight sneaking through the shades over the huge windows, like a porcelain doll she always wanted. The red dress was caressing that pale doll, like a stains of blood on the snow. And the sudden interruption of that perfect skin by her own tanned hand, when she dragged that doll-like girl from the seat. There were only them two, two young girls messing around the airport, running, hiding, lying on a cold floor of the empty flank. And she was talking. Talking and talking, telling about various things excited kid is talking about, in a huge mess, without any sense. And this unknown before feeling when her lips met with doll-like girlâs lipsâŠ
Erwin remember perfectly the moment when she spotted that girl sitting on that plastic seat, when she walked towards her with a huge smile and the feeling that she finally found something that she was missing for so long, when she almost run towards that girl, almost cried when she asked:
"Hi, excuse me for a bother, but may I join you?"
She found herself standing above the dark haired girl, in that bar with white and red checked tables. Does she asked that loudly? When does the memory blended with the reality? The girl was looking at her confused. Not like Erwin ever give much attention on what people think about her actions, she was always really open, but it was something really weird this time.
Oh, crapâŠ
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