Chpt. 2: Post-Day School Party & Other Events
Over Halloween weekend, my organization had a political day school in which we had big group discussions. It was pretty cool, although I missed the first half of it. Afterwards, my friend Jane* and I split a full-freaking-liter of 1800 Silver tequila and shared it with anyone who expressed interest and ended up getting pretty drunk.
At one point, I was all, "SO JORDAN WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT GIRL YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH" and he ended up confessing that there were two different women he had slept with, that it had not worked out with. He was pretty open about that. When I was all "LOL! :D" at that, he got way defensive. He was basically all like, "Well, I want a real relationship at some point but it's hard and it's not like I'm not going to have sex in the meantime!"
Ooookay then!
This is where it became more evident that Jordan wanted in my pants. Jane sort of ran me into the bathroom and told me that Jordan thought I was cute and had a crush on me etc., and my reaction was one part flattery and two parts "Oh ok."
I cannot express this enough- I have high standards (like, way high now) and also it takes me forever to form attractions. There have been a very small handful of instances of instant chemistry for me. Otherwise, I grow on my romantic interests and my romantic interests grow on me. So I was like, "Ok. Well. If he asks me out on a date I'll say yes because sure why not."
I ended up punching him a lot for calling me a bitch (!!! RED FLAG !!!) for reasons I forget, and also made fun of him a whole bunch more, convincing him by the end of the night that I hated him. After conversing with every other male in the organization and being informed that yes, I am indeed known for being a nice friendly drunk to ladies and mean punchy drunk to men, he chilled out a bit.
The next meeting, he ended up point-blank asking me for my number, and I gave it to him. He immediately requested that we "hang out" and well, I decided to take that as "hanging out" as opposed to a "date." Because that was how excited I was to be with this guy in any romantic capacity.
Afterwards, a group of us went out to Chipotle. We were laughing about a friend's rating of how various women in the organization (including myself) punch. Basically, one was rated as the least passionate but punches the hardest, and another was the most earnest and punches the softest, while I always fell somewhere in between, quote, "depending on why [I was] punching." I joked about how when I was in elementary school, beating up boys and telling them that they were now my boyfriends was sort of how I went about romancing. Everyone laughed, then Jordan said, "Isn't that kind of what you do now? Still? To this day?"
Hahahahahaha, oh you wiiiiiish!
Another random red flag is that I think that Jordan was a bit of a M.R.A., based on me telling the story of guy-friend who used my favorite face cloth as a masturbatory device. Somebody said something like, "Do you think maybe this guy was trying to give you a sign that he liked you?"
To which I responded, "God I hope not. I don't even think men are that stupid."
Jordan like, immediately snapped, "Don't say that kind of shit about men!"
Whooooooa, there buddy! I ended up saying something about how I was just joshing, and he eventually calmed down but, uh, whoa.
Anyways, Jordan and I hung out not too long after and it was okay? We just smoked pot. I got way stoned because it had been a while since I got high. We listened to El-P, Alchemist and watched some Mr. Show. I think he as really disappointed because at some point, my [male] roommate came home and I was all like, "HEY HANG OUT WITH US *pleeeeeead*" and my roommate pretty much just hung out the rest of the time.
Jordan went home and I was like, "Yeup. Still not feeling much." But then, as aforementioned, I've been known to take entire years to fall for somebody so I wasn't really in any particular rush. We texted back and forth, me apologizing for getting too stoned and being boring and him apologizing for being tired. I suggested that the next time we hang out, we do something active, like go for a walk or something. He seemed down.
Then, the next night, a bunch of us hung out. When my friend Kate* got back with her adorable date with her boyfriend Tyler* for his birthday, she dropped the bomb on me. Jordan has two kids!
I'm not exactly proud of my reaction, which was pretty much shock and "ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME KATE" and basically worked through my emotions out loud and at the amusement of others. Whatever.
The thing is that when my parents were separated, my dad did this thing where he dated younger, drug-addict versions of my mom. And he would like, try and integrate them into our lives and yeah. When they fell apart, as they often did, we stopped really trying to get to know these women because well, Dad was going to either scare them off, cheat on them or leave them for Mom (again) anyways so why bother.
Because of this, I formed an opinion on whether I'd date somebody with children from a previous union (maybe) and how I would go about it (only meet the kids when it became apparent that shit was going to be serious, so like, after 6 months maybe). In the MBTI, I am a J, and Js are fucking planners, and I'm somewhat infamous for getting way ahead of myself. But, here's the thing:
If I liked somebody? Like a lot? Man or woman. And they had a child or children? That wouldn't stop me from dating them. Yeah, it'd make me hesitant thanks to my childhood and being all "LOVE, LOVE WILL TEAR US APART" generally speaking. But it wouldn't hold me back. And as pretty much everyone who knows me knows, I fucking adore children and plan on spending my career around kids so it's not like I hate babies and that's why I wouldn't.
Anyways, so I definitely took note of my freaking out, because in a way I think it was my brain knowing something wasn't all right with this Jordan guy, and sort of grabbing onto anything more understandable than a hunch.
Of course, he turned out to be a total asshole, so, looks like that freak out was all for naught.
*Names of the innocent people are changed. Jordan sucks, so his name remains.
