Feminist Parenting Fails

Intersectional Feminist WOC Secular Pseudo Adult Mother And I am just wandering through life hoping I raise "aware" humans https://www.patreon.com/feministparentingfails

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I'm giving your solidarity the side-eye

[itsnotjustpms]

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Last year, when my kid was in 2nd grade, she tried to get a Narnia book from the library at school. But, her teacher told her she couldn't because "it's above her reading level". She was told this even though she had been tested for the gifted program the year prior. She couldn't understand why her teacher would say that. "Mom, why doesn't she believe in me?" I could have listed the laundry list of reasons that flashed through my head. But instead, I took her to our local library and we checked out The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. She ended up turning in two book reports on Narnia books that year. In a way I think it was the tiny human version of a "fuck you" to her teacher. I don't ever feel like I'm well equipped to raise a tiny human ... But its things like that which make me think that *maybe* I'm doing something right.

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I'm a mom, who is a WOC, secular, extremely progressive, supports BLM, living in a red state ... Basically that means my friend pool is very limited ... And I hate to admit it, but it makes me super sad to be so isolated. It also makes me second guess the way I'm raising my kid. I don't want her to end up feeling this way and I want her to be able to relate to her peers. But, so far she already has seen how her views are very different from her peers. And she's only 8 ... The good thing is, at this age kids don't "unfriend" each other over these things. But, I just worry about how these interactions will develop as she gets older.

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If a makeup company does not have lip swatches on skin tones similar to mine, I will NOT buy ANY of their products.

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Last night I went to a Metallica concert. First time seeing them in my life. I’ve been to my fair share of metal shows, but this was Metallica… The Holy Grail. But, it almost ended before it started. When the crowd of thousands began to pile and push against me, I did what I always do at shows…. I squared of, centered myself so I wouldn’t get crushed.

Consequently, that caused me to push my elbow into an entitled yt man. He proceeded to scream at me angrily, “GET YOUR ELBOW OFF ME” … I saw red, I snapped and screamed obscenities at him. I pictured myself getting him in a rear naked choke, punching his lights out, all acts of violence I could imagine.

He told me to “Chill the fuck out”

Was this an over reaction?

Maybe…

But here’s the thing… I was a WOC in a sea of ytness. People looking at me funny at every corner. I’m used to stopping yt people in their tracks… But I was tired … I AM tired … Tired enough that ytness makes me see red, no matter how small the infraction … I was ready to cause bodily harm to this mother fucker and the only things that stopped me were:

1. This was my FIRST chance to see Metallica live

2. No matter what I was able to do to him, MY consequences would have been greater.

So yes, I’m an angry woman of color. But its because I’m tired … In addition to being angry. Tired of being hated for things I have no control over.

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I'm turning 30 tomorrow and I'm just barely starting to accept my physical appearance for what it is. My nose, my lips, my thick ass eyebrows (that I stopped plucking 5 months ago), my fo'head hair, my wide ass hips and my thick ass thighs. All of these things I used to see as "flaws" are just things that make me who I am. There aren't many Filipino/Belizean "celebrities" and so the images that I have seen as "beautiful" never really lined up to how I look. But hey, you mix that Pino with that Creole and this is what you get.

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Ahh, I love being mansplained to at work by dudes who have no idea what my job entails. I've been here 10 years, you fucking fuck.

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[moonheartz]

if a person of color is telling you that you’re being racist you need to recognize it and apologize. if a gay/bisexual person is telling you that you’re being homophobic/biphobic you need to recognize it and apologize. if a transgender person is telling you that you’re being transphobic, recognize it and apologize. if a woman is telling you that you’re being sexist, recognize it and apologize. the line is not yours to be drawn.

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I can’t control what kind of lives my kids will have as adults. But one thing I can do is try to teach them to be thoughtful, inclusive human beings in a world that treats exclusivity as a commodity.

[kid-with-plans]

[feministparentingfails-blog]

New blog, who dis?

It’s been about a year since I have posted anything on Tumblr. I haven’t deactivated my “fitness” blog (ohemgeeitsv) … But for my own mental health, I can’t post about fitness on a regular basis.

I definitely still need this outlet though. I’ve been going through ALL the things and just graduated with my MBA (slow clap). Now, I’m at a place where I feel lost and unsure of where to go next in life. And with that, came the idea for my new blog.

I don’t want to create just another parenting blog. Most of the blogs I have tried to read do not relate to my experience as a parent or just in the world.

So … Here goes nothing.